Hey.Good morning, everybody,
Welcome to "Tegridy Breakfast,"the show where we talk about
I'm Randy Marsh.
Hey hey hey, folks.I'm Towelie.
Today, we're gonna talk aboutwhat's been growing on the farm,
especially our newTegridy Thanksgiving Special.
I'll tell you what, I smokedit out of a 4-foot bong,
and it just aboutdestroyed my --
Alright. Wrap it up.Shut this down.
Come on, Marsh.Let's go.
Go -- Go where?
Everyone's had enough,Mr. Marsh.
We need youto come with us.
What the hellare you doing?
Sorry, everybody,we'll be right back.
What do you think you're --my show!
My Tegridy Farms show!
Hello, Mayor,Mr. And Mrs. Tweek,
Mr. Marsh, do you remembera few weeks ago,
when homes in South Parkwere attacked by a terrorist
called "Mexican Joker"?
Yeah. Mexican Joker.That was terrible.
Right. Except there wasno Mexican Joker.
It was you whoblew up people's yards
because they were homegrowingtheir own marijuana.
Pfft.Well, that's ridiculous.
The Tweeks have come forwardwith some footage
caught on theirsecurity camera.
Guys, I have nothingagainst home-growers.
Run the the footage,please.
People are fed up, Marsh.
The past few weeks, you've heldparades for yourself,
needlessly slaughtered1,000 cows,
made dealswith the Chinese,
and nearly poisoned everyonewith your Halloween Special.
Everyone's had enoughof Tegridy Farms.
Enough of Tegridy Farms?
South Park is nothingwithout Tegridy Farms.
You'll be taken to county jailto await your trial.
Get himout of here.
I didn't doanything wrong!
You people arejust jealous --
jealous that Itook over South Park,
and I'm successful!
Well, at least now,
South Park can startgetting back to normal.
Dog wiener! Dog Wiener!
Just hike the stupid ball,Cartman!
Pubic mound,titty farts, hut!
One Mississippi,two Mississippi,three Mississippi,four Mississippi...
Dude, I'm open!
You can't catch!
Dude, I'm wide open!
That totally would havebeen a touchdown.
[ Organ music plays ]
Little Jason White was a happychild, a playful child.
And ultimately, it washis playfulness in sports
that got him killed in a freakhit-and-run accident.
The father would liketo now say a few words.
I'm Robert White,Jason's father.
And I can tell you that,as a White,
Jason liveda challenged life.
[ Sobbing ]
When I look outon this congregation,
I can't help but think,
"There's not a whole lotof people here."
Doesn't seem likea big deal.
Nobody's outraged'cause it was our family.
Nobody cares when a Whitegets killed by the police.
There should be protestsand marches, but no.
The police killed a White.That's not protest-worthy.
Everybody's busy tryingto lock up Randy Marsh.
Now, my wife and Ihave a dead child,
and we can't even get any weedto make us feel better!
[ Sobs hysterically ]
Yeah, don't listen to me.I'm just a White.
but I don't want youto be scared, ok?
Daddy is...in police custodyuntil there's a hearing.
He could be in jailfor a long time.
Do you promise?
Like, how long is a long time?Like, could it be years?
It could be, sweetheart.We don't know.
Is it possible he couldget out of it?
Of courseit's possible, honey.
[ Groans ]
But if he doesn't get out of it,then what happens to us?
We'd probably have tosell the farm,
and move back to town,and sort of live our lives
without the marijuana business,and without Daddy.
Just try tostay hopeful kids.
We will, Mom.You, too.
Okay.You, too. Shelly.
Okay, Mom.You, too.
[ Intercom beeps ]
Oh. Okay, sure.Put him through.
This is the President.
Hi Mr. Gar--Mr. President.
I'm really sorryto bother you.
Look, uh...I'm in a bit of trouble.
Oh, tell me about it.
Yeah, they uh...
Someone got somesupposed evidence on me
doing something illegal,and uh...
Well, did you tell everyone youdidn't do anything wrong?
Yeah.Yeah, of course.
Well, did you thengo on the attack,
and swap the accusations,to make yourself a victim?
Did I --Did I what?
Oh, geez.DARVO, Randy --
deny, attack,reverse victim and offender.
Alright.Let's role play.
You be your accusers,and I'll be you.
Uh...Um...Hey, you --you blew up people's yards
who were growingtheir own marijuana.
No, I didn't!Are you joking, you psychopath?!
Now you're blowing up my yard!
Go ahead.Try another one.
You -- You illegally damagedproperty to make your business--
You damaged property to make your business more profitable,
you lying sack of shit!
I'm not gonnabe bullied by you!
See? It's reallynot that hard.
It just takes a littlechin wiggling.
Geez, you're reallygood at that.
Look, what I really needfrom you is some personnel.
Do you knowany good lawyers?
Do I know anygood lawyers?
No. But I do knowRudy Giuliani.
Hey. Fuck you.
No, fuck you, Rudy.
You finish cleaning upthose pistachio nuts yet?
Yeah. That's all of them,Mr. President.
Listen, Randy,I'm gonna throw you a bone.
You just sit tight, and I'll help you take care of this.
Sheila. Gerald. Hi.
We just knowyou're going through
a really hard timeright now.
We wanted to bringyou guys a lasagna.
Oh, that's so sweet.Thank you.
Other families have broughtsome stuff, too.
Come on in.
Hey, guys.We got lasagna.
I love lasagna!
Hey, no running in the houseyou little turkeys.
Oh, look at that,Sharon.
You took down all the picturesof marijuana.
Oh. Yeah. You know,just too painful.
You know,they remind me of Randy.
That's why I took downRandy's pictures, too,
because, you know,they remind me of Randy.
Look, I'm sorry if you don'twant to talk about it,
but have you thought aboutwhat you might do
if Randygets put away?
Yeah. I've kind of made a listof all the things I might do.
It's kind ofa long list.
MR. WHITE:Oh, isn't this lovely?
The whole town, turning outto support the Marsh family
in their time of need.
Our son was killedby the police.
Would have been nice if somebodybrought us a lasagna.
You know,if I'm not mistaken,
it almost seems like you peopleare happy that Tegridy Farms
is being indicted.
It's almost likeyou're reveling in it.
My wife and I were bothTegridy Plus members.
We always believedin Randy Marsh.
We believed in Tegridy.
And now,there's less Whites.
Now, there's less Whites.
Oh, geez. We should havenever played footballthat close to the road.
Yeah.This isn't right.
Where are you going,Eric?
I think I mightbe able to help them.
Mr. And Mrs. White!
I'm sorry aboutwhat happened.
I knew Jasonpretty well.
He was a shitty receiver.But he would have wanted
his parents to move on,and help a new child.
Wh-- What do you mean?
A few weeks ago,I was sent somewhere.
It was a placewhere people like you
can find a way to fillthat empty hole.
My name is Jeff.
We're thrilled you've cometo help out and adopt.
The parents of the childreninside have all been deported,
but the kidsare legal citizens,
since they were bornin the United States.
Mr. and Mrs. White?
We all heard aboutyour tragic loss.
I'd love to help outhowever I can.
Is there something specificyou're looking for?
We...don't really know.
We've got all kinds here,depending on your preferences.
Here's a littlePanamanian.
They're very clean.
This is aColombian Shorthair.
Oh, and this isa good one.
This is aBaja Shepherd.
Quiero mi papa.Quiero my mama.
Bien, gracias. Y tu?
Oh, honey, look atthe Peruvian Hairless.
Yes, they're prettysilly-looking.
Great with kids,though.
Hey, what's thislittle guy?
Oh, this is apurebred Mexican.
He's hadall his shots.
Parents were deportedtwo weeks ago.
Here. We can let himrun around a little bit.
Mi familia?Donde estas?
Bien, gracias.Y tu?
Oh, Bob,he's kind of perfect.
Hello, little fellow.
How would you liketo be a White?
Look, doctor, you have togive me something.
I'm really sick.
What exactlyare your symptoms?
I'm like...starting to questionthings that I've done --
like, starting to questionthe person I've become.
And I can't sleepat night.
I just lay in my cell,
wondering if I've beena bad father lately,
and a bad husband.
Please. It really hurts.I need some marijuana.
It sounds like you haven't hadaccess to marijuana for a while,
and now realityis setting in.
I just need a littlemedicinal weed,
and these symptomswill all go away.
Well, maybe they shouldn'tgo away.
Maybe this is your wake-up callthat you've been abusing drugs,
and you need to faceall your wrong-doings,
try to turnyour life around.
You need to turn your life around!
Clearly, you havethe addiction problem,
and I'm justyour whipping boy!
That's not going to work,Mr. Marsh.
You're not the Presidentof the United States.
Well, Alejandro, How are youenjoying being a White so far?
Mi familia! Donde estas?
Bien. Gracias. Y tu?
Yes, its good us Whites haveeach other, Alejandro,
because...I need to tell you something.
You see, now that you're a Whitelife isn't gonna be so easy.
You're gonna find that a lotof people in this world
just don't careabout The Whites.
You'll hear all about how othersin the world are mistreated
but nobody will carewhen you are.
Being a White isthe hardest thing ever.
That's my little White.
Oh --Turn it up honey!
And the President of the United States today
called the allegations against Randy Marsh
"total buttfucking bullshit"
and claims the neighbors who came forward
with the evidence video are
"Tampon Faced 69ing whistleblowers"
When asked for clarification the President's lawyer
and treasonous pig, Rudy Giuliani, had this to say.
Ooh, this is just a conspiracy! It's a conspiracy!
And we need everyone out there who -- who don't think
their voices are heard to make their voices louder!!
Uhp. He's absolutely right!
Starting tomorrow the Whites aregoing to start actively trying
to stop all this trial nonsense!
Bob! Alejandro'son your phone
and it's pastphone use time!
Why, he's tryingto call Mexico!
Alejandro, the Whites do not usemobile devices after 7:00 P.M.
Why would he try to calllong distance to Mexico?
Does he just assumethat the Whites
have all the moneyin the world!?
The Whites don't calllong distance.
Jason never tried to use mobiledevices after the cut off time.
Jason never tried tocall long distance!
[ Sobbing ]
Well good job, Alejandro, nowyou've upset your mother!
Esa no es mi madre!
Bien. Gracias. Y Tu?
Starting to realize I havethis pattern of behavior
where I always want more.
More weed. More drinks.
More deals withthe Chinese...
It's never enough.
See, I always had my flawsbut at the end of the day
I cared about people.
You know what thepresident said?
He said just deny everything andmake yourself the victim...
Yeah, well, maybe he'spart of how I got here.
Maybe the president has broughtdown my moral meter.
I don't mean to cast blame,I'm to blame, but,
ever since he was elected I'vecompared my morals to his.
And no matter how awful I am...
I'm never as bad as thepresident so I'm okay.
Randy Marsh has donenothing wrong.
Stop the ridiculouspersecution.
Help exonerate Tegridy Farms?
Oh yeah, just ignore us!
The Whites are used to it!
Good one, honey.
Alejandro isn'tringin' his bell!
Alejandro! There'sfew enough of us as it is!
We're not gonna stop this trialunless all the Whites chip in!
Now ring your bell.
[ Bell rings ]
No quiero estar aqui!!
It's like he doesn'tappreciate us, Bob.
No, I know.I mean, we give hima place to live,
food, we take care of him.He's just --He doesn't happy.
Maybe if we got him a littlething to take care of and feed,
he'd understand how muchresponsibility it is.
We're so glad you came backMr. and Mrs. White!
We have even more kids now who'sparents have been deported!
See one you like,Alejandro?
Now that you're a White youcan pick any one you want.
Oh, here's a good one!
Four years old, parentsjust deported yesterday.
He's a PanamanianPodengo Pequeño.
Do you like him,Alejandro?
We can see how he getsalong with the kids.
Quiro mi mama?
Nunca la volveras a ver.
Oh, look --I think he likes him!
Alright, Alejandro,but you have
to take care of himand clean up after him.
This is a great additionto our family.
Yeah... And now therewill be more Whites
to help put a stop tothose needless hearings.
Hey, Marsh,you got a visitor.
Fifteen minutes.That's all you get.
Hello, Mr. Marsh.
My name is Mr. Giuliani!
I've been sent to tryand help you!
Oh...thanks but I thinkI'm just gonna plead guilty.
Oh, that sounds like someonewho's a little down in the puss.
The president said you would beand he thought you might need
a little something special.
[ Belt jingling,zipper unzipping ]
Would this make you feel better?
Is this just whatthe doctor ordered?
[ Inhaling ]
[ Crowd shouting ]Tom, I'm standing outsidethe government building
where Randy Marsh is aboutto be arraigned.
Protestors from both sides havegathered here,
some of them who arefor the proceedings...
CROWD: Lock him up! Lock him up!
REPORTER:...and also those in support
of ending the investigation.
Let him go! Let him go!
These hearings are a wasteof the taxpayers' money!
Nothing in these hearings
will change the Whites'minds one bit!
Alejandro isn't puttingon his sunscreen!
Alejandro!What have we told you?!
All Whites wear a sunscreen!Put it on right now!
Ahghggh!! No necesita protector solar!
Necessito a mi madre y my padre!
Bien gracias y tu!!Now put it on!!
Alto! Ahghg! Alto!
Te odio! Te odio!
we are now ready to proceedwith the arraignment.
Before doing so, Mr. Marsh,do you have any words?
Yeah, I have some words to say!
Go get 'em!Go -- Go get 'em!
I can't believe I'm beingattacked here!
You people are monsters.
The evidence shows mein a yard taking a dump.
Yes. Because I was settinga trap for Mexican Joker!
-Oh, come on!-Oh, brother, here we go!
That's right, and Mexican Jokerattacked seconds later!
I was trying to protect youpeople from terrorists.
And what do I get for it?!
I get a-a bunch of...
A bunch of...
No, I can't do this.
You wanna know whatreally happened?
The president sent mehis lawyer.
And his lawyer told mewhat to say to get off
and gave me a joint in prison.
[ Townspeople murmuring ]
And then I smoked that joint.
And you know what I thought?
I thought, "This is someshitty ass weed."
It wasn't Tegridy.
It barely even changedmy mental state.
[ Acoustic guitar plays ]
The reason I got intothe marijuana business
was to make quality, simple weedthat came from the heart.
Weed that was strong and pure.
Somewhere on that journeyI lost my way.
Tegridy Weed is about community.
It's a sunrise.
It's the smile on a baby.
But most of all,Tegridy Weed is about family.
I've forgotten I havea loving wife and a son.
And I'm not gonna forgetthem anymore.
So I'm not gonna fight this.
I'll do my time and maybesome day I'll be back.
Making marijuana that's simple.
Marijuana that's Tegridy.
Because when you dothe right thing...
Good things happen.
[ Explosions ]
[ Crowd screaming ]
It's him!Oh God, it's him!!
Oh, Jesus, save us!
G-Give it up, M-Mexican Joker.
You don't wanna do this!
Alejandro! Get down fromthere this minute!
Abajo con Estados Unidos!
REPORTER: Mr. Marsh!REPORTER #2: Mr. Marsh!REPORTER #3:Mr. Marsh! Over here!
-Mr. Marsh!-Mr. Marsh, how doesit feel to be exonerated?
Thank you, it feels really goodto have these charges dropped.
Now we can all get back to thebusiness of trying to heal.
I'd like to --
Would you please getthe fuck away from me?
I'd like to take thisopportunity to thank those
who have always been my side --
supporting me fromthe very beginning.
The people who've stood by mesince day one
And gave me hope...
Thanks for having my back,Mr. and Mrs. White.
And now, everybody,if you don't mind.
I've got a farm to tend to.
Well, gang, I guessthat's about it, huh?
It's been a really good run butlooks like the season is over.
The season is over?
Well sure, the firstsnow is falling.
Crops are pretty much dead.
But what'd ya all think, huh?
I think this seasonwas a little better
than anyone expected.
I really wanna thankyou guys for a great run.
And, hey, we hope you allenjoyed the season too.
It had a little bit ofeverything, didn't it?
And hopefully the season finalereally brought it all home.
Of course, if you haven'thad a chance
to try the Season Finale yet,
it is available nowfor a special price.
This limited edition weedmade from the very last crop
of the season is pricybut worth it.
ANNOUNCER: Now taking pre-ordersfor season two.
The citizens of South Park have had enough of Randy and Tegridy Farms and they just want to lock him up.