Story

Description

A costumed mascot called the Sexual Harassment Panda visits Mr. Garrison's class to teach the kids about sexual harassment. But he teaches them too much. When Stan calls Cartman an "ass sucker," Cartman sues him for sexual harassment and wins half his belongings. Kyle's dad, who serves as Cartman's attorney, then sues the school system for millions. He quickly makes a fortune representing both kids and adults in hundreds of similar court cases. He uses his new riches to turn his house into a mansion. Soon he's the most hated -- and most feared -- person in town. The school system, impoverished by the huge payouts, is forced to fire Sexual Harassment Panda. Unable to find other work (and apparently suffering from the delusion that he really is a panda), he winds up on the Island of Misfit Mascots, a sort of rest home/insane asylum for unwanted costumed characters. But the boys seek him out and convince him to help battle the wave of lawsuits -- particularly a massive case called Everyone vs. Everyone, with Kyle's dad representing, literally, everyone. The mascot, who now calls himself the Don't Sue People Panda, appears at the trial and advises everyone to stop suing each other because it's destroying society. The people agree that such suits are frivolous, then angrily turn on Kyle's dad and threaten to sue him. Not surprisingly, he instantly agrees that being overly litigious is bad and ditches the sexual harassment lawsuit business.

What I Learned Today

"When you sue somebody it hurts everyone. You sue for money, but where do you think that money comes from? From the schools, from taxes, from the state. From you. There's no such thing as free money. When you sue somebody you take money away from parks and schools and charities and put it in your own pocket. And that makes me a sad panda."

Memorable Quotes

• "That makes me a saaaaad panda." Sexual Harassment Panda
• "I'm telling you guys, suing people kicks ass." Cartman
• "How would you like a big panda punch in your puss?" Sexual Harassment Panda
• "Does anyone know what sexual harassment means?" Herbert Garrison
• "When you're trying to have intercourse with a lady friend, and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind?" Cartman
• "This is freaking me out dude." Kyle
• "You would think that, you little ass sucker." Stan
• "Lumpy potatoes! Oh, nooo!!" Cartman
• "Hey! Panda Bear!! We don't take kindly to your types in here!" Skeeter

Characters

Stan Marsh

Kyle Broflovski

Eric Cartman

Kenny McCormick

Mr. Mackey

Herbert Garrison

Principal Victoria

Jerome "Chef" McElroy

Gerald Broflovski

Judge Julie

Sexual Harassment Panda

Skeeter

Character Debuts

Willy

Oinky

A whole bunch of really awesome mascots, including "Willy The Don't Stare Directly Into The Sun Worm"; "Oinky The Run Around With Scissors Pig"; "Hoppy The Don't Do Stuff That Might Irritate Your Inner Ear Badger"; and "Jimmy The Don't Hold Onto A Large Magnet While Someone Else Uses A Fan Nearby Falcon." Jimmy demonstrates the dangers of this by handing Kenny McCormick a large magnet and then switching on an enormous fan. Kenny is promptly pulled into the blades and chopped to pieces.

Judge Julie, the honorable Judge that oversees the sexual harassment cases.

Skeeter, an orange-haired redneck, and a couple of his Redneck buddies. They frequent South Park's Bar, and will be seen in many future episodes, including "I'm A Little Bit Country."

The Newscaster. He is introduced as Kevin McCarty here, but will be seen again in "Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tob" as Derek Smalls.

Body Count

Kenny, slain sort-of-inadvertently by "Jimmy The Don't Hold Onto A Large Magnet While Someone Else Uses A Fan Nearby Falcon". See Character Debuts for the full story.

Locations

Original Songs

Petey the Panda sings his very informative theme song, "Sexual Harassment Panda".

Behind The Scenes

At the time this episode was produced, Matt and Trey had been working seven days a week for eight months, producing both new South Park episodes and the theatrical release Bigger, Longer & Uncut. They don't remember much about the shows from this period -- especially this one.

Where Did The Idea Come From

The show was a statement about the large number of high-profile sexual harassment cases making the news at the time.

Pop Culture References

Shout Outs

The Island of Misfit Mascots refers to the Island of Misfit Toys on the TV special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Pwn'd

The judge presiding over the myriad lawsuits is named Judge Julie, in a reference to TV's Judge Judy.

Bonus Factoids

Pointless Observations

On the Island of Misfit Mascots there's a brief glimpse of a whale mascot with the words "Use Lambskin Condoms" on it. He's playing badminton.

Principal Victoria, while on the witness stand, admits to committing a pretty gruesome murder. Luckily, the question was about sexual harassment, so no one cared.

In the commercial for Kyle's Dad's legal representation, we learn that he got Bebe $1.6 million and Clyde $1.4 million. Later in the courtroom, Pip gets $1.6 million, Craig gets $2.1 million, and Mr. Mackey gets $2 million.

Season 3

e1 Rainforest Shmainforest

e2 Spontaneous Combustion

e3 The Succubus

e4 Tweek Vs. Craig

e5 Jakovasaurs

e6 Sexual Harassment Panda

e7 Cat Orgy

e8 Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub

e9 Jewbilee

e10 Chinpokomon

e11 Starvin' Marvin in Space

e12 Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery

e13 Hooked on Monkey Fonics

e14 The Red Badge of Gayness

e15 Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics

e16 Are You There, God? It's Me, Jesus

e17 World Wide Recorder Concert