Tolkien wins the Colorado Child Star Contest, netting him $200 and the chance to sing at the Miss Colorado Pageant in Denver. The boys decide they should be getting a cut of this money too and form the Super Awesome Talent Agency. After a bit of sweet-talking, Tolkien signs with the boys and becomes their first client.
But the relationship is short lived. After Tolkien performs to raves at the pageant, he's swept away by Don Hizeman, a slick agent from the Creative Arts Agency (CAA) in Los Angeles. Despite their protests, their client is gone.
Fortunately, word of their agency has spread. City Wok owner Tuong Lu Kim asks the boys to represent his wife, Wing, who's just been shipped over from China by the Chinese Mafia. She performs a unique rendition of ABBA's "Dancing Queen" for the boys, and they sign her because she's already secured an audition for American Idol.
The boys accompany her to Los Angeles for the competition, only to discover they'll have to wait weeks for an Idol shot. Instead they sign Wing up for another reality show that happens to have an open slot -- The Contender. Wing's musical skills prove of little use in the boxing ring, however, as she sings "Fernando" while being beaten to a pulp by a boxer nicknamed the Destructor. On the bright side, her performance impresses the show's host, Sylvester Stallone. After the match, he hires Wing to sing at his son's wedding for $4,000.
The boys are ecstatic at the big payday, until they see Wing forcefully taken away in a limousine by the Chinese Mafia -- whom they mistakenly believe to be Creative Arts Agency minions. Determined to get her back, they track the Mafia guys to their lair, triggering a massive shootout that kills Kenny, along with a large number of Mafia thugs.
The mafia leader says he "owns" Wing and threatens to kill her. The boys argue that they contractually owned her first, and demand he turn her over. Finally, they reach a mutual epiphany and realize that controlling other people is wrong. The boys decide to get out of the talent agent business, and conversely, the Chinese Mafia leader vows to stop enslaving people.
Wing performs at Stallone's son's wedding, to the delight of the assembled crowd -- which includes the Chinese Mafia, the boys, and Wing's husband, Tuong Lu Kim. In the middle of her performance, Tolkien appears -- only now he's working as a waiter to try to earn enough cash to return to South Park. Apparently the folks at CAA didn't help him at all. Cartman tells him to fetch more bread and olive oil.
What I Learned Today
"I think we all learned it's best to leave talent to the talented people."
- "I will give 10% of my money to Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman because they are awesome and can find me lots of work as an artist." Tolkien's Super Awesome Talent Agency Contract
- "We're too smart to be talented." Stan
- "This just goes to show that hard work doesn't pay off. I'm going to be a homeless drug addict from now on!" Cartman
- "Just between us girls, nothing gets my vag wetter than a black man singing." Ms. Garrison
- "Of course he sings, he's black." Cartman
- "From now on, we are an entertainment team, Tolkien. You just do all the singing, all the performing, and all the entertaining .And leave the rest to us." Cartman
- "Hello? Oh yes, hi Colonel Sanders." Cartman
- "You wouldn't kill her, 'cuz then she can't pay you money! We know because we're in the same business you are!" Stan
Wing. In addition to being Tuong Lu Kim's "wife," she is a real pop singer from New Zealand. The songs in this episode are actually her work. She even signed off on her image being used in the episode, with the only stipulation being the approval of her cartoon "self." Her website (www.wingmusic.co.nz) was plugged at the end of the show.
We also meet the Chinese Mafia. Even though many of them are killed off, they eventually become forces for good.
A large number of Chinese Mafia henchmen bite the bullet. As does Kenny, who's gunned down in the shootout. This is the third time he's been killed since being resurrected in "Red Sleigh Down".
Behind The Scenes
Where Did The Idea Come From
Matt and Trey found Wing (full name Wing Han Tsang) via the Internet. At first, they questioned whether or not Wing was real. Turns out she was!
Pop Culture References
Tolkien belts out the Lou Rawls standard "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine" during his performance at the Miss Colorado Pageant. Matt and Trey used Rawls' original recording.
Wing performs a bit of ABBA's "Dancing Queen" in her audition for the boys, as well as "Fernando" (another ABBA song) while on The Contender. After Stallone hires her to sing at his son's wedding, the boys break out into an exciting rendition of Baha Men's "Who Let the Dogs Out?" At the wedding, Wing performs "Sing," a song popularized by The Carpenters.
The two shows that Wing participates in -- American Idol and The Contender -- are obviously based on the real, long-running reality TV shows of the same name.
The set-up for Stallone's son's wedding is an homage to the famous wedding scene from The Godfather. If you look closely, there are a number of famous people from previous episodes in attendence, most notably: George Lucas, Gene Hackman, and Ben Affleck. Also, the climactic shootout with the Chinese Mafia owes quite a bit to the finale of Scarface, including Cartman's use of the signature phrase, "You wanna play rough?"
Sylvester Stallone. His speech is so garbled and incomprensible he needs an interpreter to make himself understood.
In order to impress Tolkien, Cartman pretends to have a chummy phone conversation with Abraham Lincoln -- unaware that Lincoln has been dead for more than a century. Later he pretends to chat with Colonel Sanders, who died in 1980. Kyle will actually have a conversation with the ghost of Abraham Lincoln in "The List."
The address of the Super Awesome Talent Agency is 23345 Avenida De Los Mexicanos. Creative Arts Agency (CAA) is a parody of the very real Hollywood talent agency Creative Artists Agency, which is one of the top agencies in the biz. The boys' Super Awesome Talent Agency "office" (and their obsession with fountains) is an homage to the real thing. In addition to the movie posters for I.T. and Terrance and Phillip's Asses of Fire, there are two framed Varieties! clippings -- a parody of the entertainment biz newspaper, Variety. The picture on one of the covers looks an awful lot like Paris Hilton. On the back wall, there's also a movie poster for Ghost Dad, a 1990 Bill Cosby flick.
- e1 Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina
- e2 Die Hippie, Die
- e3 Wing
- e4 Best Friends Forever
- e5 The Losing Edge
- e6 The Death of Eric Cartman
- e7 Erection Day
- e8 Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow
- e9 Marjorine
- e10 Follow That Egg!
- e11 Ginger Kids
- e12 Trapped in the Closet
- e13 Free Willzyx
- e14 Bloody Mary