After Eric Cartman boasts to his classmates of owning an iPad, and mocks them for not having one, he is humiliated when it is revealed that he actually does not own one. When he and his mother Liane Cartman go to a store to buy a tablet, the item's exorbitant price prompts her to suggest buying a less expensive Toshiba HandiBook. The demanding Cartman, who had his mind set on the iPad as a status symbol, loudly excoriates her in the middle of the store, accusing her of "fucking" him. The embarrassed Liane decides to leave the store without buying her spoiled son anything.
Meanwhile, Kyle Broflovski, who did not read the Terms and Conditions when agreeing to download the latest iTunes update, is pursued by shadowy agents from Apple Inc., who wish to perform a number of intrusive acts upon him, informing him that he agreed to them when he downloaded the update. Kyle attempts to flee the men, and is incredulous when his friends inform him that they all read the entire Terms and Conditions when they downloaded the latest update. Kyle seeks refuge at his father Gerald Broflovski's law office, but the Apple agents taser his father, kidnap Kyle, and throw him in a cage with a Japanese man and a young woman who also failed to read the fine print of their purchased updates.
At a Stevenote address, Steve Jobs unveils the new product for which Kyle and the other two were kidnapped: the HUMANCENTiPAD, comprising the three kidnapped subjects on all fours and sewn together mouth to anus. The Japanese man is in front, with an iPhone attached to his forehead; Kyle is in the middle; and the woman is at the rear, with an iPad attached to her anus. However, Jobs is disappointed when Kyle continues to sign agreements that are put in front of him without reading them first, and puts the "device" through tests in an attempt to make it read.
Meanwhile, Cartman appears on the talk show Dr. Phil McGraw to publicly accuse Liane of "fucking" him. The audience misunderstands this to mean that she has sexually molested him. As a consolation gift, Cartman is given the first ever HUMANCENTiPAD as Jobs unveils it to the public. Cartman is elated to have a device that not only supports web browsing and email, but also enables him to induce someone to defecate into Kyle's mouth.
Seeking to free his son, Gerald goes with Kyle's friends to an Apple store, where the customer service agents known as "Apple Geniuses", after considerable deliberations, determine that they can void Kyle's agreement if Gerald, a PC user, signs up with Apple and creates a family account. Gerald consents, after which he, the Geniuses and Kyle's friends go to the studio where Dr. Phil is produced. Jobs, complying with Gerald's new deal, reluctantly makes preparations to have Kyle separated from his two fellow victims. This enrages Cartman, whose dream is now being quashed. Cartman looks up to the heavens and angrily excoriates God, after which he is struck by a bolt of lightning. He is then shown recuperating in a hospital bed, crying while his mother flips through a book indifferently.
- "How about a little COURTESY lick next time you…" Cartman
Behind The Scenes
- This episode was featured in the documentary Six Days to Air, a documentary on how they make episodes.