Child Abduction is Not Funny
Child Abduction is Not Funny
|Written By||Trey Parker|
|Original Air Date||2002-07-24|
A child molester makes a failed attempt to abduct Tweek. This triggers a massive overreaction from the South Park parents. They decide to build a wall around the entire town. The owner of City Wok, Tuong Lu Kim, is commissioned to do it. (Basically because he's Chinese, and the Chinese have so much experience building big walls.) To make things even more "secure," the parents outfit their kids with a device called Child Tracker -- a helmet with a satellite dish that the boys have to wear at all times.
Things don't go as planned. Mongolian nomads show up and continually attack the new wall. Then, when a news report states that children are most often abducted by a parent, the adults decide that the children aren't safe around themselves, and banish all their kids outside the wall.
With no other choice, the children join forces with the Mongolians and manage to blow a hole in the barrier, reuniting them with their parents. The boys return home, secure with the knowledge that living in fear is never the answer -- and that their parents are idiots.
What I Learned Today
"You know who was right all along? The Mongolians. They knew that you just can't wall yourself off from the outside world. Putting walls up never helps anything. Tearing them down brings us together."
- "Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble!" Townsfolk
- "Why did you go and have to be abducted, Tweek? Now all our parents are freaking out!" Kyle
- "God-damned Mongorians!" Tuong Lu Kim
- "Dude, sometimes I think our parents are really stupid." Stan
- "My son has become a Mongolian? No! NOOOOO!" Sharon Marsh
- "Bang. You're dead, Tweek." Richard Tweak
- "Good Then why don't you get into the back of my van and I'll drive you home." Ghost of Human Kindness
- "Just because I'm Chinese doesn't mean I go around building walls! I'm just a normal person like all of you, I eat rice and drive really slow -- just like the rest of you! I'm not a stereotype!" Tuong Lu Kim
- "Gee what a surprise. I guess Mongolians aren't such crappy, smelly people after all." Tuong Lu Kim
- "You have to get out of here before we abduct you." Randy Marsh
- "Wait I learned some Mongolian in college." Randy Marsh
The Ghost of Human Kindness, a.k.a. child abductor Frederick Johnson. He attempts to restore Tweek's faith in humanity by pointing out that the news only talks about bad things. Then tries to abduct him.
Mr. Mackey's parents, who also have abnormally large heads, make their over-protective debut in Mackey's classroom. They just want to make sure no one hurts "junior."
A crippled guy in a wheelchair who's run over by a train when Tweak, fearing the man's a child abductor, refuses to help him.
Behind The Scenes
Where Did The Idea Come From
The idea that Mongolians magically appear whenever someone puts up a wall came to Trey and Matt during a visit to China, while they were actually standing on the Great Wall. But it took years to finally work it into a South Park episode.
Pop Culture References
When the boys watch Men in Black II, Stan says he hopes it won't "suck ass." Kyle responds with, "It will." Also, the boys' baseball team celebrates at Crust E. Krotch Pizza -- a reference to Chuck E. Cheese.
The Ghost of Human Kindness is a parody of "The Ghost of Christmas Present" from A Christmas Carol.
As he's being taken away by the cops, the Ghost of Human Kindness says, "And I would have gotten away with it again, if it weren't for you meddling policemen!" This is a reference to the line frequently used by thwarted criminals in Scooby Doo. It was also used by Mr. Garrison in "Weight Gain 4000," after his unsuccessful attempt to kill Kathie Lee.
While shooting off his heat seeking missle at the Mongolians, Lu Kim screams out "Say hello to my little friend!" -- a famous line uttered by Al Pacino in the iconic film Scarface.
At the end of the episode, Mayor McDaniels declares, "Mr. Lu Kim -- Tear down this wall!" This is a reference to the famous speech given by President Ronald Reagan at the foot of the Berlin Wall, where he called out to the Soviet leader, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"
A snippet from a news broadcast states that ". . .all the residents of Manhattan are prepared to evacuate if Mrs. Clinton's ass gets any bigger."
The boys can be seen playing Little League baseball (with no opponent) in this episode. Even though they hate it, they'll actually play real teams when they suit up in "The Losing Edge".
Tuong Lu Kim's heat seaking rocket launcher is named "The Mongolian Eradicator."
The Mongolian Trojan Horse is an homage to the ancient Greek legend of the Trojan Horse, which was used by the Greeks to secretly enter the city of Troy. However, the Mongolians reversed the attack by hiding outside the horse and putting sweet and sour pork inside.
- e1 Freak Strike
- e2 Jared Has Aides
- e3 Asspen
- e4 The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer
- e5 Fun with Veal
- e6 Professor Chaos (episode)
- e7 The Simpsons Already Did It
- e8 Red Hot Catholic Love
- e9 Free Hat
- e10 Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society
- e11 Child Abduction is Not Funny
- e12 A Ladder to Heaven
- e13 The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers
- e14 The Death Camp of Tolerance
- e15 The Biggest Douche in the Universe
- e16 My Future Self 'n' Me
- e17 Red Sleigh Down