Johnnie Cochran
About[edit]
A famous attorney who's worked for big-time celebrities like O. J. Simpson and Michael Jackson, and even Jerome "Chef" McElroy himself, Johnnie Cochran uses his famous Chewbacca Defense to confuse the jury and get his desired outcome on criminal cases. He has a change of heart at the Chef Aid concert and helps him get the rights to his song Stinky Britches back. He later joins Tom Cruise in suing the town of South Park for slander.
Memorable Quotes[edit]
- "Why would a Wookiee, an 8-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: "What does this have to do with this case?" Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!" (Chef Aid)