Editing Woodland Critter Christmas (section)

===Description===
Like many classic Christmas specials, a cheerful voice narrates this -- and propels Stan through the twisted Christmas adventure, whether he likes it or not.  

The story begins when Stan (aka "the boy in the red poof-ball hat") encounters a group of innocent-looking, talking forest animals called the Woodland Critters.  After he makes a star for their Christmas tree, they convince him to build a manger for Porcupiney the Porcupine who is pregnant with their Savior.

Stan is also asked to help them with another problem. Every year, one of  the Critters conceives and carries their Savior, only to have a mountain lion kill the mother before  she gives birth. Touched by their story, Stan hikes into the mountains and manages to slay the mountain lion by tricking it into leaping off a cliff. 

But things aren't as they seem. The "bloodthirsty" lion has three small, talking cubs. Even worse, when Stan informs the Woodland Critters that he succeeded, they celebrate by holding a "blood orgy" in honor of their master -- Satan.

It turns out that the Critters' Savior is really the Antichrist, whose birth the now-deceased mountain lion can no longer prevent. Stan, remembering the cubs, tries to enlist their help. When they inform him that they have no idea how to kill babies, Stan takes them to an abortion clinic for pointers.

Meanwhile, the Woodland Critters secure a human host for the Antichrist -- Kyle, who as a non-baptized non-Christian, fits the bill perfectly. Stan and the cubs return to find that the Woodland Critters' Savior is already born, and that Kyle is being readied to receive him. Santa Claus shows up just in time and slaughters the Critters with a shotgun.
Suddenly overcome with the thirst for power, Kyle declares that he wants the Antichrist to possess him, so he can make the world a better place for the Jews.  The Antichrist takes over Kyle's body and  
The action cuts to Mr. Garrison's fourth-grade class, where we learn the whole thing is a story Cartman made up for his "Write Your Own Christmas Story Day" assignment, which he's now reading aloud.  Kyle objects, saying it's just another excuse to rag on him for being Jewish at Christmastime.  Fearing another angry phone call from Kyle's mother, Mr. Garrison orders Cartman to stop.

But the other kids want to know the ending -- they complain until Kyle gives in and lets the reading continue.  

Back in the story, Kyle suddenly realizes the Antichrist is too much evil to take on and wants no more of it.  So Stan has the three lion cubs, now well-versed in pregnancy termination, extract the squirming Prince of Darkness from his ass.  Santa finishes off the Beast with a sledgehammer.  

As a special Christmas present to Stan, Santa resurrects the lion cubs' mother.  And everyone lives happily ever after Except for Kyle, who dies of AIDS two weeks later.