Editing South Park: The Stick of Truth (section)

==Story==
Since the ancient times, the human barbarians of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep (KKK) and their leader, the brave and awesome [[Grand Wizard King]], have waged war with the Drow Elves for possession of the Stick of Truth, an artifact seeped in legend that is foretold to give they who possess it total control of the universe.

As foretold by Caldwell Banker, the [[King Douchebag|New Kid in town]] has moved to town with their parents to get away from their dark and dangerous past. To keep their mind away from their problems, the New Kid's parents send them out to make some new friends. After defending their neighbor [[Paladin Butters the Merciful]] from a child dressed as an elf, the New Kid becomes friendly with him and they establish a friendship. Butters takes the New Kid to meet the Grand Wizard King Cartman, who dubs them "Douchebag" and asks them to select one of four character classes, purchase a weapon, and... beat up [[Clyde Donovan|Clyde]]. Upon his defeat, Cartman introduces Douchebag to the Stick of Truth, currently under his possession, and tasks Clyde with protecting it when elves show up, lead by [[Chris Donnely]], to steal it back.

While Douchebag manages to help repel the elves, Clyde reports that they have nonetheless made off with the stick, and is banished from space and time, while the Grand Wizard tasks Douchebag with seeking out his top warriors - [[Tweek Tweak]], [[Tolkien Black]] and [[Craig Tucker]]. After retrieving a coffee delivery from some meth heads in a garage and defeating a [[Security Guard]], Douchebag secures Tweek and Tolkien, but discovers Craig is in detention with [[Mr. Mackey]] and will require an elaborate rescue. After defeating a number of Ginger Hall Monitors, Craig and the other children in detention are freed and the game can safely resume, and he Grand Wizard announces the stick is being kept at the [[Inn of the Giggling Donkey]].

After an attack on the Inn goes haywire, the Grand Wizard King is injured and [[Princess Kenny]] is taken away to be "raped" by her captors, and Douchebag is forced to rescue her as well as to confront [[The Bard]], a level-10 elf with musical powers and a penchant for comedy. When the Bard is defeated, Douchebag gains control of the stick back for the Wizard King's kingdom, and the stick is returned to its place for the night, as the kids get some rest. 

After being bid to sleep by their mother, Douchebag is awaoken by a blue light and the presence of [[Visitors]], who abduct them and [[Cartman Gets an Anal Probe|affix them with an anal probe]] that Douchebag manages to break free of, unlike other town residents. [[Randy Marsh]], after insisting alien probing is preferable to city traffic, befriends Douchebag and provides directions to escape the ship, but their escape attempt results in Douchebag killing the pilots and crashing the entire ship into the [[South Park Mall]], releasing a green chemical. The government covers up the crash site and insists a new [[Taco Bell]] is being built instead, and kills [[Enchorito Mark and Wife|those]] who question their narrative.

The next morning, Cartman shows Douchebag the news and warn them that the elves have stolen the Stick overnight, against the rules of the game, and insist for revenge that they recruit the [[Goth Kids]], who have a long series of complicated tests involving purchasing Goth clothing and dancing like them. The elves summon Douchebag to their kingdom during these quests, however, and the [[High Jew Elf King]] and his loyal men insist the Stick is actually being hidden by Cartman, who is the one really cheating. They ask Douchebag to prove their loyalty by taking down rival banners throughout town, and to bring them the Goth Kids instead.

While trying to win over the Goths, however, Douchebag must hold a #FuckTheConformists sign while meeting with the PTA, and is only narrowly saved by their friendship with Randy, who coerces them for details on the new Taco Bell and takes them to the community center bathroom to instruct them in the ways of the 'Sneaky Squeaker', a dangerous new kind of fart, testing it out on [[Mr. Mackey]]. Douchebag then uses this power to get past the guards to infiltrate the "construction site", discovering the green chemical is leaking into the swers to create Nazi Zombies, and that the government will destroy the town to keep it from spreading. Douchebag steals a tape of this conversation as they leave.

After defeating more Nazi Zombies, Douchebag brings the tape back to the PTA where the adults discover the town is going to be destroyed for themselves, but instead believe is has to do with making a larger Taco Bell, missing the discussion of aliens or zombies. The PTA takes a photo with Douchebag that is sufficient to win the Goth Kids' loyalty, and Douchebag must choose whether to bring them to the Humans or the Elves, before the two sides reach an assault on [[South Park Elementary|the school]] overnight to find the Stick of Truth, said to be in the Fourth Grade Classroom. Chosen with remaining loyal to their faction, or changing, Douchebag is forced to fight the leader of one group or the other.

Narrowly surviving due to their superior anal control, Douchebag is present as the Goths find a 'Check my locker' note under a desk, and the note is traced to Clyde, and both teams discover that it is Clyde, now [[The Lord of Darkness]] who has stolen the Stick and is raising an army of darkness to destroy the Earth, and he strips both kingdoms of their power i nthe process. The boys find out [[Roger Donovan|Clyde's slaves]] have constructed an entire fortress for the battle, surrounded by [[Craig Tucker]], [[Vampire Kids]], [[Girl Bullies]], and nazi zombies, but are sent to bed before the climactic showdown can commence.

As Douchebag returns home, they are confronted by [[Underpants Gnomes]] intending to steal their undwwear, but the [[Gnome Warlock]] is tasked with shrinking Douchebag to make it easier to defeat them. Douchebag pursues them into their parents' bedroom, where their parents discuss the New Kid's "gift" that the government wants, and then have sex to ease their tension. Douchebag and the Gnome Warlock face off underneath the parents' intercourse, with the Warlock confessing he was only stealing underwear to save his kingdom from the goo, and handing the player the size-changing powder, only for the father's scrotum and mother's large breasts to crush both of them.

Douchebag wakes up unscathed and a Gnome offers peace if they can help collect underpants, while the High Jew Elf King calls together a meeting of both factions to join forces to stop Clyde and his Nazi Zombies, suggesting an alliance with the [[South Park Pirate Club|Pirates]], [[Kevin Stoley|Captain Stoley]] and the Federation, and [[Pleases and Sparkles Club|the Girls]] for the final battle. While neither side sees eye to eye, the Grand Wizard King eventually agrees for both sides to pool their resources, and they decide to send Douchebag to court the Girls, as they have an uncanny ability to make friends.  

With assistance from their friendship with [[Annie Knitts]], Douchebag meets with the girls, lead by [[Wendy Testaburger]], who task them with researching a rumor that a girl has recieved an abortion. They give Douchebag a makeover and send them out under the guise of being [[Bebe Stevens]]' boyfriend to see if [[Monica Ryland]] will flirt with them, only for Douchebag to be forced to fight with [[Jake (Stick of Truth)|her boyfriend, Jake]] instead. Now sent to infiltrate the [[Unplanned Parenthood]] abortion clinic personally to check the records, Douchebag discovers [[Randy Marsh]] there to also research records, and must pretend to give them an abortion before the clinic is invaded by [[Nazi Zombie Fetuses]], including a gigantic one from Khloe Kardashian, before finally retrieving the document.

As it turns out, the documents are in French, so Douchebag is forced to make a trip to [[Canada]] using a fake passport, stopping by [[Photo Dojo]] where a [[Pedophile Photographer|pedophilie]] has beaten up the real clerk, and must be defeated. Douchebag then cross the border to Canada and is tasked by the [[Prince of Canada]] to kill a number of his political rivals, including the [[Bishop of Banff]], so you can eventually free the [[Minister of Montreal]]... but ultimately, the girls already figure out on their own that [[Heidi Turner]] is the "two-faced bitch" they were looking for, covering up [[Nancy Turner|her mother]]'s own abortion, but the girls agree to be recruited anyway.

A devastating attack on [[Clyde's Fortress]], including a battle with [[Craig Tucker]], eventually leads to the revelation from [[Randy Marsh]] that the government has placed [[The Snuke|a "snuke" nuclear device]] inside [[Mr. Slave]]'s anus to detonate and destroy South Park. Douchebag uses the gnome dust to take themselves and a buddy inside Mr. Slave's anus, battling a surprising number of opponents, including bacteria, SWAT officers, and the Ghostly [[Sparrow Prince]], in order to disarm the snuke via an abortion. Once the town seems saved, Douchebag can proceed to Clyde's throne room for the final battle.

Clyde refuses to hand over the Stick and instead uses the green chemical goo to awaken the dearly-departed [[Nazi Zombie Chef]], who slowly begins to snap away from his trance in the process of fighting Douchebag, before his corpse is destroyed by Clyde via fire in retaliation for not obeyind him. Cartman finally kicks Clyde out of the game once and for all, and retrieves the Stick, only for the [[Big Bad Government Guy]] to appear, revealing he has been tracking Douchebag, real name Dovahkiin, and seeking his ability to make Facebook friends for the government, before stealing the Stick of Truth, believing it has real power, and offering Douchebag to join him.

While Douchebag refuses to yield, [[Princess Kenny]] betrays her friends and kingdom to join him, and drinks the chemical goo to become a powerful Nazi Zombie. Standing with Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Butters and Jimmy, the player is forced to watch each friend become forced out of battle until Cartman concludes that Kenny is indifensible unless Douchebag breaks the "Gentleman's Oath" and farts on another man's balls. Douchebag manages to perfect the fart on Kenny, causing a flash that 'resets' the town, curing everyone. As the town is rebuilt around them, the boys decide to get rid of the stick for good and avoid the trouble it caused. Wondering what to play next, they seek the long-silent Douchebag's opinion, and they declare "Screw you guys, I'm going home" to the others and leaves, causing Cartman to reflect ironically that they were a dick anyway.

Story mode concludes, and the player is free to explore the town as they wish, and continue any remaining side quests, while Kenny dismisses her behavior as a result of "PMS" and Stan declares the adventure in the gang's "top ten".