Editing Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina (section)

==Story==

===Description===
After a lifetime of being "trapped in a man's body," Mr. Garrison visits Dr. Biber of the Trinidad Medical Center.  There, he undergoes a cutting edge sex change operation (called a "vaginoplasty"), and with a few cuts and tucks, he is declared a full-bodied woman. 

Meanwhile, Kyle fails to make the All-State basketball team and is told by his coach that "Jews can't play basketball."  He leaves the court feeling depressed and cheated -- even though he feels like a basketball player on the inside, he's limited by his outward appearance.

After the boys meet the radically reconstructed "Ms. Garrison" on the street, Kyle asks his parents to explain a sex change operation. His mother says it helps people whose self-image is at odds with their physical appearance. 

This strikes a chord with Kyle, who admits he's always thought he should be tall and black. He and Stan visit the Trinidad Medical Center where Doctor Biber tells Kyle that he could perform a "negroplasty" with relative ease, a process that would essentially make him tall and black.

Kyle's parents are furious when he asks permission to get the surgery.  His father confronts Dr. Biber -- who quickly learns of Gerald's affinity for dolphins and offers to turn him into one.  Kyle's dad opts for the "dolphinoplasty" operation and is soon hobbling around on a walker, with a dorsal fin and a blowhole on his neck.  

Rejuvenated from the surgery, Kyle's dad has a change of heart.  He can no longer deny his son the right to not be tall and black, so he lets Kyle get the negroplasty.

Things aren't going well for the newly minted "Ms. Garrison."  Her boyfriend, Mr. Slave, leaves her.  She then learns that even though she looks like a woman, she'll never have a period or be able to have children.  Furious, she demands to be changed back -- only to learn that her testicles were implanted in Kyle's new knees and that her scrotum was used to fabricate Kyle's father's dorsal fin.

The Negro-fied Kyle made the All-State basketball team and will play in a game that night.  But Dr. Biber says Kyle only looks black, and that if he actually takes the court, the strain on his new knees will squash Garrison's former balls.

Garrison, Biber, Cartman, Stan, and Kenny rush to the basketball arena, but it's too late. After he makes a spectacular slam dunk, Kyle's testicle-enhanced knees explode when he lands on the court, blasting off his lower legs.

Dr. Biber apologizes for the inconvenience to Kyle and his father. He admits that, unlike Garrison's surgery, their changes were only cosmetic.  He then agrees to turn them back into their former selves for a nominal fee. There's no going back for Garrison however -- he decides to accept his new appearance and go on living as a woman.

===What I Learned Today===
"Even though I'm not truly a woman I think I still like the new me.  I'd rather be a woman who can't have periods than a fag."

===Memorable Quotes===
* "The first thing I'm going to do is slice your balls." [[Dr. Biber]]
* "Wow!  Just look at all these tampons!!"  [[Ms. Garrison]]
* "I hate being small and Jewish. I feel like a tall black man." [[Kyle]]
* "I may be a dolphin but I'm also a lawyer." [[Gerald Broflovski]]
* "Those testicles in his knees are ticking time balls!" [[Dr. Biber]]
* "Well, I'm about to pee out my vagina for the first time!  Give us a hug!  GIRLS CLUB!!"  [[Ms. Garrison]]
* "You guys, Mr. Garrison has titties."  [[Cartman]]
* "Well, it's a good idea if you want to be tall and black.  Otherwise, I wouldn't recommend it."  [[Dr. Biber]]
* "But I'm GAY.  I don't LIKE vaginas."  [[Mr. Slave]]
* "It's Kyle!  He's a Negro!!"  [[Butters]]
* "He's a Jewish dolphin A Jewphin."  [[Cartman]]
* "If you want, you can just scramble it and I'll queef it out myself."  [[Ms. Garrison]]
* "That dolphin has my scrotum, now let us in!"  [[Ms. Garrison]]
* "Well, all MY life I've felt that I was black. I listen to hip-hop, I watch UPN and I LOVE playing basketball. My body doesn't reflect who I am INSIDE."  [[Kyle]]