Editing Cartman's Silly Hate Crime (section) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.Anti-spam check. Do not fill this in!==Story== ===Description=== Cartman beans a classmate named Tolkien on the head with a rock. Unfortunately for him, Tolkien is South Park Elementary's only African American student. Cartman is charged with a hate crime and sent to Alamosa Maximum Security Juvenile Hall. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are heartsick, because Cartman was supposed to anchor their sled team in a race against a girls' team down Phil Collins Hill. Without the extra speed provided by their associate's enormous bulk, they can't win. In prison Cartman befriends his cellmate, a hardened con named Romper Stomper. After proving his worth by smuggling contraband into their cell via his rectum, he convinces Romper Stomper to help him escape. The boys make it outside, but are quickly cornered by the police -- who inform Cartman that, thanks to an impassioned plea to the governor by his friends, he's been pardoned. No such luck for Romper Stomper, who's dragged back to his cell. Cartman makes it back to South Park just in time to anchor the boy's entry in the sled race, which they win by cheating. Later, after making sure that attacking British people isn't considered a hate crime, Cartman beans Pip with a rock. ===What I Learned Today=== "I'm never going to take my friends for granted ever again!" (A moment later he throws a rock at Pip, knocking him unconscious.) ===Memorable Quotes=== * "Why don't you chicks go wash some dishes or get pregnant or something?" [[Cartman]] * "I am making an example of you. To send a message out to people everywhere that if you want to hurt another human being, you better make damn sure they're the same color as you are." Judge * "You know something guys? I think we all took Cartman's ass for granted." [[Stan]] * "Why, us men will show those skanky hos who's who!" [[Butters]] * "What the hell is a hate crime?" [[Cartman]] * "They're gonna put me in jail for a hate crime! You have to take me to Mexico!!" [[Cartman]] * "Hey! I'm not fat, you guys. I'm just kind of big boned!" [[Clyde]] * "We killed Kenny. We're bastards" [[Stan]] Summary: Please note that all contributions to South Park Wiki may be edited, altered, or removed by other contributors. If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly, then do not submit it here. You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource (see South Park Wiki:Copyrights for details). Do not submit copyrighted work without permission! Cancel Editing help (opens in new window)