Go God Go
Cartman is literally dying to get his hands on the new Nintendo Wii game console. But with three weeks to go until its release, he simply can't hold out any longer. He tries sleeping, pacing, and watching TV, but nothing makes the days pass any quicker. In order to bypass the wait, Cartman comes up with a genius plan: freeze himself until the Wii is released.
After the boys all refuse to help with Cartman's suspended animation scheme, he turns to Butters, who is happy to oblidge. The two then trudge out to an isolated spot in the mountains and proceed to bury Cartman, without a coat, in the vast sea of snow. As he is instructed, Butters will then retrieve him on the day of the Wii's release.
Meanwhile, Garrison violently opposes teaching evolution in his class. His resistance prompts the school to hire biologist and evolution expert Richard Dawkins to handle the subject in his place. At first Garrison despises Dawkins, but this changes when the two go out to dinner together. Over the meal, Dawkins converts Garrison to atheism and the two retire to Garrison's home for hardcore sex. They become a couple, and Garrison turns into a rabid advocate of atheism. The two decide that together they must cleanse the world of all religious beliefs, putting an end to human conflict forever.
Back in the mountains, Cartman's plan goes awry. A freak avalanche buries his body under tons of snow and sweeps away the landmarks Butters relied on to find him. He stays frozen until the year 2546, when representatives of the Unified Atheist League find and thaw him out.
It seems that in the future, the entire world is ruled by atheism and science. Yet conflicts still exist. The atheists have splintered into three constantly warring factions: the Unified Atheist League, the United Atheist Alliance, and Allied Atheist Alliance, composed of sentient sea otters.
During a deadly gun fight, Cartman (aka the "Time Child") is kidnapped by UAA soldiers and taken away -- but not before the AAA's leader vows to smash Cartman's skull "like a clam on my tummy." But to Cartman, all these problems pale in comparison to the biggest tragedy: in the future, there is no Wii.
Now a prisoner of war, it seems the Time Child's journey is just beginning
What I Learned Today
"No, I totally get it now! Evolution explains everything! There is no great mystery to life, just evolution and God's a spaghetti monster! Thank you, Richard!"
- "After everything we've been through together, you guys won't even help me freeze myself!" Cartman
- "It's like waiting for Christmas . . . times a thousand." Cartman
- "Do you mind telling me why my daughter now thinks she's a retarded fish-frog?" Mr. Triscotti
- "I'm just a little boy from the past who wants to play Nintendo Wii." Cartman
- "So there you go. You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations." Ms. Garrison
- "Know this Time Child! I shall smash your skull like a clam on my tummy!" (Sea Otter)
- "I hate you, but I'm not gonna help kill you!" Kyle
- "I know I'm special. This isn't news to me." Cartman
- "I'm not a monkey, I'm a woman!" Ms. Garrison
- "Very well. But there is to be no more throwing of feces. Understood?" Principal Victoria
- "No, it's not a good idea, it's an AWESOME idea." Cartman
- "Yeah! Pound my monkey hole, Richard!!" Ms. Garrison
- "I've just never seen a woman with such BALLS." Richard Dawkins
- "With your intellect and my balls, we can change the future of the world." Ms. Garrison
- "SCIENCE HELP US!" (Shpeck)
- "What about the fact that by believing this crap you're gonna go to HELLLL?! Doesn't that bother you a little?!" Ms. Garrison
Richard Dawkins, world-renowned evolutionary scientist. This character is based on the real British biologist and scientist of the same name.
We also meet the three atheist sects from 2546, as well as some of their leaders. Most notably is Shpeck, the leader of the Unified Atheist League, and Tlandus, the blond-haired leader of the United Atheist Alliance.
Lastly, we meet Heidi Triscotti and her parents -- all devout Catholics who want no part of Ms. Garrison's evolution lecture. With the exception of her hairclip, Heidi Triscotti looks extremely similar to Heidi Turner, whose family we met in "Marjorine".
Several members of the Unified Atheist League and the United Atheist Alliance are killed in an explosive, high-tech shootout over possession of the Time Child (aka Cartman).
Behind The Scenes
Where Did The Idea Come From
Trey and Matt's views on God, religion, and atheism are pretty complex. But their love of video games is pretty straightforward. At the time this episode was created, Trey (like Cartman) was much more concerned about the imminent release of the Wii. Hence the show itself is sort of about atheism, but mostly about the super sweet Wii.
Pop Culture References
When Cartman travels forward in time, he's accompanied by the theme music and visuals from the opening of the Buck Rogers in the 25th Century TV series. Also, Cartman freezes with the top half of his head sticking out of the snow, looking just like Jack Nicholson in The Shining.
A lot of the futuristic design from 2546 is modeled after what's seen in Star Trek. Especially the interior of the UAA's ship, which looks a lot like the bridge from the Enterprise.
Cartman paces outside of the videogame shop EV Games -- a parody of popular chain EB Games. In the store, there's the videogame Twerpz (a parody of Bratz) and the mega-popular StarCraft.
The restaurant Buca de Faggoncini, last seen in "Erection Day" , returns. The show's title is a satire of the popular children's book Go Dog Go!, which also happens to be the first book that Officer Barbrady read (in Season 2's "Chickenlover"). Professor Chaos and General Disarray also make a return appearance playing "Kill the Super Heroes" in Butters' back yard. Chaos was last seen two seasons ago in "Good Times With Weapons" .
There are three warring factions of the Atheism in the future: The Unified Atheist League (which Garrison and Dawson are credited with starting), the United Atheist Alliance, and the Allied Atheist Alliance (composed of sea otters). They all want possession of the Time Child, and they all think the other sects have a stupid name. Much like the Marklars from "Starvin' Marvin in Space," these future atheists have modified their vocabulary. Any time the word "God" would have been used, it's replaced with the word "Science" -- as in, "Science damn you!" or "Oh My Science!"
Richard Dawkins makes passing mention of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a satirical "supreme being" invented to highlight the unprovability of pretty much any deity, doctrine, or religion.
This is the fourth time Cartman has taken extreme measures to secure a gaming system. In Season Four's "The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000," he got into organized crime to raise the cash to buy a Sega Dreamcast. And during "Best Friends Forever" , he sought to have Kenny's feeding tube removed so he could inherit his PSP. Finally, in Season Five's "Towelie," he and the other boys faced death together to recover their Okama Gamesphere.
To demonstrate her feelings about the theory of evolution, Ms. Garrison poops in her hand and hurls feces at evolutionary expert Richard Dawkins. Instead of being upset about the poo bath, however, Dawkins admires Garrison's "balls" and asks her out to dinner.