Story

In order to catch the "Chickenlover", Officer Barbrady must learn how to read. Barbrady resigns and anarchy ensues, so the boys pitch in to help.

Description

The boys are intrigued by the local bookmobile called the Booktastic Bus, until they get look at its bizarre-looking operator. Meanwhile, the town is up in arms because someone is having sex with all the local chickens.

Officer Barbrady, charged with finding the culprit, must first confront the fact that he can't read. He resigns his post and enrolls in the boys' class at school, where he deputizes Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny. Cartman in particular enjoys this new honor, patrolling town on his Big Wheel, dealing out violent justice and admonishing anyone who will listen to "Respect my authoritah!"

The chicken "person" is apprehended at the local petting zoo while wearing a Richard Nixon mask. It turns out to be the Booktastic Bus driver, who says his chicken molesting rampage was all part of a scheme to help Barbrady learn to read. He then gives him a copy of Ayn Rand's 1957 novel Atlas Shrugged. How molesting the chickens figured into is plan isn't adequately explained.

Cartman promptly begins clubbing the bookmobile guy in the shins. Officer Barbrady helps, beating the man's head until he dies. Barbrady then takes a crack at Atlas Shrugged, but the experience convinces him that reading "totally sucks ass." He vows never to do it again.

What I Learned Today

"Wow, I guess reading really does suck ass!"

Memorable Quotes

• "Keep your eyes peeled, boys. Someone's going to make love to this chicken any second now." (Officer Barbrady)
• "Respect my authoritah!" (Eric Cartman)
• "Reading sucks ass." (Eric Cartman)
• "This ain't no podunk little town!" (Officer Barbrady)
• "I need to go poopies." (Officer Barbrady)
• "Bzzzzd. WRONG! Try again, dumbass!!" (Mr. Garrison)
• "Poor people tend to live in clusters." (Eric Cartman)
• "I need to go poopies." (Officer Barbrady)
• "Oh goddamn, reading is lame!" (Officer Barbrady)
• "It's a hard job but then again I'm a hard man." (Officer Barbrady)
• "I know that smarty pants. What do you think I am, some kind of an idiot?" (Officer Barbrady)
• "Boring, boring, gay, boring…" Kyle
• "AY! I'm a COP! And you WILL respect my authority." Cartman
• "How do you have sex with a chicken?" Stan

Characters

Stan Marsh

Kyle Broflovski

Eric Cartman

Kenny McCormick

Kevin McCormick

Herbert Garrison

Mr. Hat

Randy Marsh

Booktastic Bus Driver

Officer Barbrady

Mayor McDaniels

Johnson (Mayor's Aide)

Ted (Mayor's Aide)

Mayor's Aide #3

Halfy

Mrs. McCormick

Stuart McCormick

Body Count

The bookmobile guy and of course Kenny.

Kenny takes an extraordinarily long time to die, cheating the Reaper on several occasions before finally being crushed by a tree. During each near-death experience Stan starts uttering the famous "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!" line before realizing his friend survived. Ironically, when Kenny finally dies Stan doesn't say a word.

Locations

Fran's National Bank

South Park Elementary

Stark's Pond

South Park Public Library

South Park Petting Zoo

Behind The Scenes

Matt and Trey originally wanted to call the episode "Chickenfucker". Of course, their executives wouldn't allow that decision.

Cartman was supposed to have a gun and shoot people but Comedy Central also wouldn't allow it. They were reluctant to show a child use firearms despite it being no problem in "Volcano". Cartman uses a night stick instead.

Where Did The Idea Come From

The episode is a parody of COPS, the reality television show that documents real police officers on duty.

Pop Culture References

Shout Outs

During a set of fake closing credits, a picture of Tom Wopat who plays Luke Duke in the show The Dukes of Hazzard appears.

When Officer Barbrady freezes while the credits flash over him, this is an homage to '60s and '70s cop shows that used this lame technique. The fact that he's the only person who freezes while other cast members continue moving is a nod to the short-lived cop show satire Police Squad.

While trying to teach Officer Barbrady to read, Mr. Garrison writes "Oprah Winfrey has huge knockers" on the chalkboard.

For Cartman's book report on C.S. Lewis' The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe he recaps that "a bunch of hippies walk around and paint stuff. They eat lunch, and then they find a magical camel, which they have to eat to stay alive." He gets an F on the report.

On the other hand, Officer Barbrady reads Go, Dog, Go! a children's book by P.D. Eastman and gets an A.

Pwn'd

Author and philosopher Ayn Rand, whose immense novel Atlas Shrugged single-handedly turns Officer Barbrady off of reading forever.

The Booktastic Bus driver is wearing a Richard Nixon mask when caught.

Bonus Factoids

Pointless Observations

• The alphabet chart in Mr. Garrison's classroom reads, "Dios mio han matado ha Kenny, bastardos," which is (not entirely correct) Spanish for, "Oh my God they killed Kenny, you bastards." This easter egg also appears in "Ike's Wee Wee".
• There's a poster at the back of the classroom for Trey Parker's short animated film American History. It also appears in several other episodes.
• This is the second time that Halfy (a hippie-looking man with no legs) has vouched for sexual activity that he's not responsible for, the first being in "Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty Slut". Both times he's been scolded for not having legs, to which he responds "Oh yeah".
• This episode features a pretty infamous scene in which Cartman dresses up like a hooker. He does it again for different reasons when he dresses up as a Vietnamese prostitute named Ming Lee in "Cow Days" and a haughty teenage slut in "Freak Strike".
• "Robert T. Pooner" is credited in this episode, as well as "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" and short "The Spirit of Christmas", as part of the production label. This fake alias is used later in "Merry Christmas Charlie Manson!" as a reporter on TV.
• When Officer Barbrady reads a stop sign, the words are in another language. The sign reads "멍청이" which is Korean for "idiot".
• During the scene with all of the animals, behind the horse a Visitor is found.

Season 2

e1 Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus

e2 Cartman's Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut

e3 Chickenlover

e4 Ike's Wee Wee

e5 Conjoined Fetus Lady

e6 The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka

e7 City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)

e8 Summer Sucks

e9 Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls

e10 Chickenpox

e11 Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods

e12 Clubhouses

e13 Cow Days

e14 Chef Aid

e12 Spookyfish

e13 Merry Christmas Charlie Manson!

e14 Gnomes

e15 Prehistoric Ice Man