♪ PC Babies!
♪ They're comin' to your town!
NARRATOR: The PC Babies!
♪ The wokest kids around!
♪ When there's somethingproblematic ♪
♪ They're sure tolet you know! ♪
♪ Making things funand gender neutral ♪
♪ Everywhere they go
♪ They're everybody'sfave-sies ♪
♪ They're PC Babies, yeah!
[ Cries, giggles ]
[ Grunting ]
Yeah! Who's strong?
Who's a strong woman?
I'm a strong woman!
You are gonna smokethe competition!
I'm gonna smokethe competition!
[ PC Babies crying ]
Oh no.It's the babies.
[ All crying ]
Kids! Kids, okay!What's the matter?
Oh, no. I left Disney+ on,and it went to "Mulan."
PC PRINCIPAL:They don't like Mulan?
No, because Mulan is a femalethat identifies as male
and yet the moviedoesn't take the time
to address realtrans issues.
Okay! Okay! We know --"Mulan" is outdated
in creating straw dog charactersto talk about trans issues.
Daddy's turning it off.[ Remote clicks ]
But just how many advocates has yet to be seen...
[ PC Babies giggle, coo ]
As you know,this school is a place
where everyone shouldfeel included.
Our challenge is to motivateourselves and others
to create an inviting,non-bigoted and --
Hey, Stotch, you gota fuckin' problem?
Now, I think thatwhat we all need
are leaderswho motivate by example.
And so I would liketo inform you all
that your vice principalis competing
in the Strong Woman Competitionin Morrison this weekend!
Let's hear it for her.
[ Applause ]
Well, thank you,PC Principal.
Um, listen, guys,I just hope I can make you proud
and, more importantly,I hope you can see
that no matter who you are,you can do anything.
We've really come a long way
breaking downgender binary bigotry,
and I hope I canespecially inspire
some of my girl students here.
Or those whoidentify as girls.
Yes, or thosewho identify as girls.
Get out there and get involvedin school sports and clubs.
If there'ssomething you love,
don't ever let anythinghold you back.
And it hits with a 17!
How much damageis that?
Four plus two slashing.
Okay!I jump up to the bugbear!
And I yell, "For Waterdeep"!And I kick it in the balls!
I don't thinkbugbears have balls.
Then how do they makebaby bugbears?
Oh, hi, boys!
We got some new students
who want to bepart of the gaming club.
You know Tammyand Nichole?
[ Chuckles ]Uh...no.
This is a school club, boys.All clubs are inclusive.
Have fun, girls.
[ Whispering ]What the fuck do we do?
Um, guys, we play lotsof games here at Dice Studz,
but today,we're playing "D&D."
You don't just show upand start playing.
You have to generatecharacters and --
Yeah, we createdsome this morning.
I'm a Human Paladin,
and Nichole isa Tiefling Warlock.
[ Whispering ]Do something, Eric.
[ Chuckles ]Uh, guys, um...
they're fighting a bunchof bugbears right now
that are led bya 12th-level Druid.
Okay, I cast Vampiric Touchon the Druid.
ANNOUNCER: A beautiful dayin Morrison, Colorado,
as we get readyfor the 6th Annual
Strong Woman Competition!
A two-day-long competitionof tests built to push athletes
to their very limits.
Joining me now isthe current champion
of the Strong Woman Competition,Strong Woman.
Ms. Woman,do you feel ready?
Oh, yeah.I'm ready, David.
There are just so manyamazing women athletes
out here today.
It makes me so proud.
Now, this isthe first year
that a trans womanis in the competition.
How do you feel about that?Amazing.
I feel honored to bea part of history.
I have a lot of incredibletrans friends who are athletes,
and so we're all inspiredthis woman's competing.
Uh-huh, and uh...
have you actually ever metHeather Swanson?
Uh, no, I've never competedagainst her before. No.
She's not exactlyyour average trans athlete.
Well, what isan average trans athlete?
Honestly, I find thatkind of bigoted, David.
Okay, Heather Swansonis actually joining us now.
Ms. Swanson, how does it feelto be competing today?
I can't tell youhow free I feel
now that I've startedidentifying as a woman.
Now that I cancompete as female,
I'm ready to smashthe other girls!
And is it correct you juststarting identifying as female
two weeks ago.
I'm not here to talkabout my transition.
I'm here to kicksome fuckin' ass.
Let me tell you something,Dingleberry --David Perry.
I'm gonna roll upthe other women here,
and I'm gonnasmoke 'em.
I am the strongest womanthis state has ever seen!
Any words for the challenger,Ms. Woman?
Uh, good luck,Heather.
[ Chuckles ]Luck is for dudes.
Well, with that,let's get right to the action.
♪ Rising to the top,push it to the edge ♪
♪ Give it all you got,barely break a sweat ♪
♪ Strong Woman!
♪ Strong Woman
♪ Yeah, she's got speed,she's got the moves ♪
♪ She's got the muscleand a whole lot to prove ♪
♪ Strong Woman!
♪ Strong Woman! [ Women grunting ]
♪ Hey, you
♪ Go strong woman, go
♪ Hey, you
♪ Your time is now,whatcha gonna do? ♪
♪ Pedal to the metal,find another gear ♪
♪ She takes what she wants,nothing left to fear ♪
♪ Strong Woman!
♪ Strong Woman
♪ Now, hey girl,you're the best in the world ♪
♪ And, hey, hon
♪ Don't look now,but you just won ♪
HEATHER: Hell yeah! I won!♪ Strong Woman
♪ Strong woman, strong woman I'm a strong woman!
♪ Strong woman, strong woman Look at it! Its mine!
♪ Strong woman I'm the best!
♪ Strong woman I'm the strongest!
second place --that's pretty damn good.
I guess she...
just startedidentifying as a woman
a few weeks ago.
Doesn't reallys-seem fair.
Just don't.You'll upset the PC Babies.
It is tyrannous,and it is wrong.
Ever since these girlswere allowed to join
Dice Studz Gamers Club,it has been a train wreck.
Every single game we play,
they, like,figure out all the rules
and they use the rulesto, like, make us look stupid.
IN "D&D,"they killed the dungeon master!
We didn't thinkit was even possible
to killthe dungeon master.
Shut up, Butters.It's not possible.
It's just that, we playboard games for the theme.
We want to bepirates or Vikings.
You know what the girlsthink about?
They think about red cubesversus blue cubes
and how much of this equalsthat many victory points.
They're just doing math!
So, they're smarter than you
and beating youat all the board games.
It's just different.
Look, we started Dice Studz[voice breaking] with a dream.
A dream that that we couldactually do something
interesting at schooljust for like 60 minutes.
"Nothing we can do," he said."Hands are tied," he said.
We're gonna have to deal withthis ourselves, you guys.
I think Nichole and Tammyare cool to play with.
Well, you won'tthink they're cool
when the rest of usleave Dice Studz,
and you're left to playonly solo board games.
You mean like "Nemo's War"?"Nemo's War" is sweet.
Look, maybe we just gottaplay harder stuff,
you know, stuff the girlscan't keep up with.
Hey,that's not a bad idea!
We been takin' it easyon the girls.
Time to show 'em whatreal board gamers play!
What do realboard gamers play?
Well, if you wantsomething hard,
then you need a really crunchyEuro game, something like
a Vital Lacerda's "Escape Plan,"or a Uwe Rosenburg euro.
Do they involve math?
Well, all euros arepretty mathy.
Nope, no good.
We need something withlots of, like, war
and dice and thematic shit.
So, then you wanta war miniatures game,
something skirmish-style, like"Legion" or "Blood & Plunder."
Dude, you're reallyinto board games.
Alright. That's it, guys!
Dice Studz gamers clubis about to go
Emory, stop playingwith your food.
[ Doorbell rings ]
I'll get it.
Hey, what's goin' on?Is your girlfriend home?
Oh, she's sort of busyright now, Ms. Swanson.
Just want to tell herno hard feelings
about me winningthe Strong Woman Competition.
Yeah, you already told her thatat the competition.
You got a problemwith me?
'Cause it's startingto seem like
you havea problem with me.
What's going on --Oh, hi, Heather.
I was just stopping byto make sure
you're nottoo beat up.
Oh, that'sreally cool.
I'm sorry, but I have allthe kids right now,
and they're-Oh, where arethe little kiddos?!
I'd love to meet them.
Oh! Hey, kids!There's a lot of you.
Your mom must be a strong womanto take care of all of you.
Of course, I havethe Strong Woman trophy, though.
[ Chuckles ]Just kidding right?
Look, why don't you justget out of here.
Oooh, sounds like someone hereis a transphobe.
Don't you dare.
I'm trans peoples'biggest supporter.
What I think you are isa terrible sport!
Transphobe!You better knock it off!
Just don't -- you're gonnaupset the PC Babies.
And if you dare call mea transphobe again,
I'm gonna --You're gonna what?
Beat me up?
You gonna beat me up,transphobe?
Yeah,I didn't think so.
See you later kids.
Come on over and seeol' Auntie Heather
If you wanna see whata real strong woman is like.
Are you feelingwhat I'm feeling?
What do you mean?
I don't knowwhat it is but...
something about that womanjust doesn't seem right.
And now back to"PC Babies!"
Hey, guys.Hope it's cool we brought Kelly.
She wants to bein the club, too.
Oh, yes!That's very cool, girls!
We're just setting uptoday's game.
It's a pirate miniatures gamecalled "Blood & Plunder."
Yeah, we saw it on the schedule.We love "Blood & Plunder."
Are we gonna play, like,a four-on-four skirmish
with twodifferent factions?
Whoa.You painted your miniatures?
Yeah who wants unpaintedminiatures, right?
Where'd you learnto do that?
We watch YouTube tutorials.You can find a bunch on BGG.
I love BGG!
Oh, cool.Do you watch Game Night?
We are going to play thesix-hour long, very thematic
Oh, cool, we just watchedthe tutorial for that
on "Dice Tower."
with Janet Spears.
Our next guest has beenreally lighting it up
in women's competitions.
Since she's identified as femaletwo weeks ago,
she's won every female sportshe's entered.
Please welcomeHeather Swanson.
Well, thank you, Janet.
It's a great pleasureto be here.
I know that I am an inspirationto all women
and trans athleteseverywhere.
Yes.We are all truly inspired.
Now, there aresome women out there
who just wantto run and hide.
I'm talkin' to you,Strong Woman.
You still dare to call yourself that?
Your name is a joke,
because ol' Heather Swanson here
will beat you anywhere, anytime, at anything.
Don't let her getto you, Strong.
She's not getting to me.
You know,I don't know why
she has such a grudgeagainst you but --
Because I know her!
What do you mean?
It's Blade Jaggart.
He -- She is my ex boyfriend.
Back when we were together,he was such an asshole.
When I finallybroke up with him,
he said, one day,he was going to get me back.
And now he's got us bothby the balls.
But then she doesn't really careabout trans people
He hates wom-- She hates women.
When I left him, he felt likehe got beat by a girl,
and nothing makes Blade Jaggartmore crazy
than gettingbeat by a girl.
I didn't even know peoplelike that existed.
It is tyrannous,and it is wrong!
Dice Studz isa board game group
that brings thrills and laughterto dozens of boys at our school.
But that laughter isbeing turned into screams
as girls constantly invadewith their unfairness.
The girls found Ericon the first round
of "Fury of Dracula"!
Yes, inclusion is wonderful,but we have to admit
that boys and girlsare simply different
in some ways that can sometimesmake competitions unfair.
Have you ever seen how girlsdo their homework?
They do it that night.
Meticulouslygoing over every detail
and often finishing beforethey absolutely have to.
This is how girls are withboard game rule books.
Before we even start playing,
they've already strategizeda way to win,
leaving others...in the dust.
And now I'd like for youto hear from my friend Scott,
who has diabetes.
"My name is Scott Malkinson,and I have diabetes."
[ Whispers ] Terminal diabetes.
"I have terminal diabetes.
Board games are the only thingthat give me relief
from the physicaland mental anguish
I experience every day."
Wow, Scott,I didn't know it was that bad.
Neither did I.
"Dice Studz is my onlyshot at happiness.
Please don't let outdatedschool policies destroy it."
Wow.Thank you, Scott.
We hope that our presentationhas helped to change your minds
about school clubsin our country.
If not, we will be backevery...single...day.
Please, let Dice Studzbe for studs.
and no other female fighter isas explosive as Heather Swanson.
Heather, your story is an inspiration
to sports fans everywhere.
Congratulations on your shocking success.
I just hope I can motivatelittle girls out there.
Motivate themto understand
that I will beat themat any sport they try.
Motivate them to run away
like that chicken shitStrong Woman did because I --
PC PRINCIPAL: Alright. Alright.That's enough.
You, uh...You made your point, Heather.
We get it, okay?Oh, hey, Transphobe.
This is a nice surprise.
Oh, God.What is he doing?
Look, everyone I knowwe're all a little...
afraid to have any opinionson this stuff,
but there can be situationswhere it's...
not so east to...
What I mean is...[Stammers]
I didn't counton being the best
since identifyingas a woman.
Yeah, no shit, 'cause you wentthrough puberty as a male,
so your body iscompletely different.
And that's exactly whata transphobe would say!
I told you not tocall me a transphobe.
All I want isto have a discussion.
[ Screams, sobs ]
Isn't this nice, you guys?
Clean fresh air,soothing sounds...
just us boys and"Star Trek: Ascendancy."
Come quick!You gotta see!
Well, it's the girls!
They startedtheir own board game club
at the school!
CARTMAN: "Board Girls"?
How lame is that.
The fuck is this?Wow!
Well, this is just like what yousaid Dice Studz would be, Eric!
Oh, hey, guys.Welcome to Board Girls.
Wanna have a look around?
So, over here,we have our co-op games.
I think they're doing"Sub Terra" right now.
And there, we do our deckand engine builders.
Have you tried "Inuit"?It's really cool.
We have miniatures paintingover there,
and most of our miniaturesgaming happens in that area.
Hey those girls are playing"Crisis Protocol"?!
That's not even out yet!
Yeah, we get advancedcopies of games
because our club reviews themfor our gaming channel.
MR. MACKEY: Hey, boys!You need to get out, mkay!
No boys in the girls'school clubs.
Come on, let's go.STAN: What?! Who says?
New school policy,came down from the top.
Now get your assesoutta there.
Well, who made upthat stupid rule?
Yeah, who made upthat stupid rule?
[ Sadly ] We now returnto "PC Babies."
Are you just...not gonna come home?
How am I gonna look my kidsin the eyes, Strong?
Since they were born,we've taught them to accept
and fight for thosewho are marginalized,
that there's no grey areawhen it comes
to inclusionand acceptance.
When I go back,all they are going to see
is a big fat hypocrite.
And now I just used a wordto shame people
with weight issues.
"P"...you can't just shut down
because you're afraid of howthe babies are going to react.
I didn't shove him - her - forbeing trans.
I shoved her because she's yourex boyfriend
and she's being a dick.
Do you think the PC Babies will see the nuance?
You know how they are.They're babies.
Their minds are made upbefore anyone says anything.
Then I've really got onlyone thing I can do.
I have to tryand make things right
with Heather Swanson.
As you know,
we've had some issueshere at the school
that we are working very hardto correct.
So, today we are...
honored to havea motivational speaker.
She is the currentStrong Woman Champion
and also the championin Women's MMA fighting
and inWomen's Wrestling.
Please welcomethe inspiring Heather Swanson.
[ Up-beat music plays ]
♪ Oh, my God ♪
Hello, boys and girls.
I'm here to talk to youbecause, apparently,
your school leadershave failed you.
I'm gonna tell yousomething, kids.
There's only one thing thatmatters in this world,
and that's being the best.
Your Vice Principal teachesyou girls to be strong,
but she comes in second.
You got anything to sayabout that, PC Principal?
No, Ms. Swanson.
"No, Ms. Swanson."
You see, people don'tlook up to losers.
They look up to champions.
And every timeI beat another woman,
I feel better.
Dude, I reallylike this person.
And that's why I'm the best!
Because Heather Swansondoesn't get beat.
I work to be the bestat everything!
And Heather Swanson willbeat any other woman
any time, anywhere!
Bet you can't beat Nicholeat "Blood Rage."
Wh-What did you say,transphobe?
Yeah, but I bet you can'tbeat Tammy at "War of the Ring."
You don't disrespect a champion,little girls!
You think Heather Swansondoesn't know board games?!
I was playing board gamesbefore your mom
even crapped youout of her vagina.
Okay. So, then,let's do it, bitch.
Oh, it's on.
♪ Tabletop bloodbath,nothing left to say ♪
♪ Your moment is here,time to make 'em pay ♪
♪ Strong Woman! ♪ Strong Woman
♪ Smoke the competition,show 'em what you got ♪
♪ All your painted miniaturesare really paying off ♪
♪ Strong Woman! ♪ Strong Woman
♪ Hey, wow
♪ Who's the Strong Woman now?
♪ And hey, you
♪ Thought you were the best,but you're about to lose ♪
♪ To the Board Girls,they got the moves ♪
♪ They pummeled youat "Alchemists" ♪
♪ And kicked your assin "Carcosonne" ♪
♪ Board Girls,they know all the rules ♪
♪ They watch Rodney Smith,Tom Vasel, and Becca Scott ♪
♪ Hey, cool
♪ They made you look a fool
♪ And hey, sweet
♪ Take a step down,you just got beat ♪
♪ By the Board Girls
[ All cheering ]♪ Strong!
♪ Strong Woman, Strong Woman! HEATHER: You think that's fair?!
You only won becauseyou dumb girls
memorize the rule books!
When I play games, I just wannabe a pirate or a spaceman.
That's right!You and your stupid rules!
I may identify as a woman now,but I grew up a boy
and so you havean unfair advantage over me!
Yeah, an unfair advantage,you stupid girls!
Come on, Ms. Swanson.We can go make our own club!
[ Cheering resumes ]
I just want toget it over with.
Yes, kids.And look who else is here.
Dada.I wove you.
I --I don't understand.
They don't care.
They must see the nuance
to this whole situation.You're right!
They realize that raisinga gender-based issue of strength
doesn't necessarily make onea bigot or a bully.
All this time,we were worried
what the PC Babieswould think.
And we didn't realize
that our little babiesare growing up.
[ Laughter ]
The annual Strong Woman competition pushes everyone to their limits.