OUR DAY OF COMPETITIONHAS COME TO AN END

AND WE HAVE AN ULTIMATE GRANDSPECIAL CHAMPION FOR 2004 !

HERE TO PRESENT THE AWARDARE BASEBALL LEGENDS

MARK McGUIRE, JASON GIAMBIAND BARRY BONDS !

( cheering )

THE 2004 SPECIAL ATHLETEIS: JIMMY VALMER !

YEAH !( bleep ) YEAH !

YEAH, I DID IT !

I'M THE B-B-BEST !

CONGRATULATIONS, JIMMY.

BUT WE ALL KNOW THATTHE SPECIAL OLYMPICS

ISN'T JUST ABOUT WINNING.

AND SO, WE WILL NOW GIVE OUTTHE SPIRIT AWARD

TO THE HANDICAPPED PERSONWHO CAME IN VERY LAST:

ERIC CARTMAN !

( applause )

AH, SCREW YOU, HIPPIES !

FOR WINNING THE SPIRIT AWARDERIC WILL RECEIVE

THIS GIFT CERTIFICATE TOSHAKEY'S FOR $50 !

COME ON UP, ERIC !

OH, SHAKY'S--

DERRH !DUHHHHHH !

HEY !

JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOUTHINK YOU'RE DOING, ERIC ?!

UH, HEH-HEH--DUHHH.

YOU F-FAKED BEINGHANDICAPPED TO WIN ?!

I SHOULD KICK YOUR ASSRIGHT HERE,

YOU LOUSY,NO GOOD CH-CH-CHEATER !

TIMMY !

WHAT ?

TIMMY.

OH MY GOD...

Y-YOU'RE RIGHT, TIMMY...YOU'RE TOTALLY RIGHT.

EVERYONE, CAN I HAVE YOURATTENTION, PLEASE ?

I'M AFRAID I HAVE TOGIVE BACK MY MEDAL.

THE TRUTH IS I HAVEN'T BEENPLAYING FAIR EITHER.

I'VE BEEN USINGS-S-STEROIDS.

I WAS WILLING TO DOANYTHING TO BE THE BEST.

AND THE STEROIDS MADE ME BLINDTO THE PEOPLE I WAS HURTING.

A GOOD FRIEND EVEN TRIEDTO TALK ME OUT OF IT,

BUT I WOULDN'TLISTEN TO HIM.

TIMMY.

TAKING STEROIDSIS JUST LIKE

PRETENDING TO BE HANDICAPPEDAT THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS.

BECAUSE YOU'RE TAKING ALL THEFAIRNESS OUT OF THE GAME.

BUT I KNOW NOW THAT EVENIF YOU WIN ON STEROIDS

YOU'RE REALLY NOTA WINNER,

YOU'RE JUST A P-PUSSY,

YOU'RE JUST A BIG,FAT P-P-PUSSY !

AND IF YOU TAKE STEROIDS,THE ONLY DECENT THING TO DO

IS COME FORWARD AND SAY,

"REMOVE ME FROMTHE RECORD BOOKS

"BECAUSE I AM A BIG,STINKY P-PUSSY,

STEROID-TAKING JACKASS."

THAT'S HOW I FEELABOUT MYSELF

AND WHY I MUSTDECLINE THIS MEDAL

AND MY PLACEIN THE HISTORY BOOKS.

AND IF YOU LET ME,I'LL BE BACK NEXT YEAR,

TO COMPETE WITH HONOR.

HEY KID, GOOD FOR YOUFOR BEING HONEST.

WELL GUYS, I GUESS NOW YOU SEEWHAT I WAS UP TO ALONG.

I DRESSED UP LIKEA HANDICAPPED PERSON

AND LOST THE SPECIALOLYMPICS ON PURPOSE,

SO THAT JIMMY COULD LEARNHIS LESSON ABOUT STEROIDS.

-- OH YEAH ?!

WELL, YOU GUYSARE ASSHOLES !!

GROW UP !