Cartman Finds Love
Butters has big news: there's a new girl in school! But when the boys see she's African American, Cartman immediately begins swooning over how cute a couple her and Tolkien make.
Pissed at Cartman's blatant racism, Tolkien storms off. In class, Cartman tries yet again to get Tolkien to break the ice with the new girl, Nichole. When this doesn't work, Cartman approaches the girls himself and tells them about Tolkien's "feelings".
The girls gossip and tell Nichole, but she's already got her eyes on another boy…Kyle.
Eavesdropping outside, Cartman hears this bombshell. The next day, he tells Nichole that he and Kyle are a gay couple, and that she needs to stay away from his man. Now convinced he's gay, Nichole approaches Kyle and tells him she's there for him.
Kyle mistakes this as a sign that Nichole is into him.
But Cartman's match-making scheme is just beginning. The next day, he initiates an elaborate plan which leaves Tolkien alone in the showers and Nichole walking in on him, unaware. Cartman then locks the two inside.
After the traumatic night trapped inside, Tolkien and Nichole are rescued and agree to see each other again. Cartman and Cupid Me (his imaginary match-making friend) watch from the bushes, teary-eyed. Cartman then breaks into a power ballad about the two young black kids in love.
Meanwhile, Kyle now has a touch of the love bug himself, and asks the girls for info about Nichole. Despite this, word continues to spread about him "swinging for the same team".
Kyle eventually finds out about the gay rumors, and confronts Cartman angrily on the playground. He demands that Cartman tell Nichole the truth, but Cartman guilts him into keeping his mouth shut to preserve the couple's happiness.
At Nichole's house, her parents question her new relationship with Tolkien, worried that people might judge her for dating the only other black kid in town. Later, Nichole discovers a message on the back of her teddy bear: "To My Boo, 'Cuz Blacks Belong Together". Overwhelmed by all this, she breaks up with Tolkien.
Cartman takes the news the hardest. He is bedridden with sadness. Butters tries to console him, but to no avail. And when Cupid Me appears, Cartman beats his imaginary friend with a baseball bat.
But just when all seems lost, Cartman sees commercial for "Soft Serve" laxatives, and becomes inspired. He rekindles his friendship with Cupid Me and heads over to Nichole's house -- only to learn that she's on a date with Kyle at the Denver Nuggets game.
Cartman races to get to the arena, blasts through security, and takes over the Megatron. He gives an impassioned speech about not running away from love, working hard at it., and holding on. He then sings an edited version of "I Swear" in order to stop Kyle and Nichole's further romance.
The crowd is enthralled, and even more so when they learn the "Batmobile is outside". As the people race off to see it, Tolkien and Nichole find each other in the crowd. They both decide to give their relationship another shot, no matter what people say.
Cartman watches all of this from the Megatron, tears in his eyes. And as he walks off triumphantly, Cupid Me reveals he's found someone special for Cartman as well…the poster child for "Halitosis Kidz".