Carpet Licker
South Park
Season 1 E 11 • 02/11/1998

Mr. Garrison takes off the bandages and looks exactly like David Hasselhoff. Meanwhile, the boys try their hardest to become lesbians.

Watching

02:32

80-Foot Satellite
South ParkS1 E1

A giant satellite emerges from Cartman's ass.
08/13/1997
02:19

Essay Contest Winner
South ParkS1 E2

After discussing rainbows, Cartman learns he has won an essay contest.
08/20/1997
03:25

Missed Shots
South ParkS1 E2

Mr. Garrison shoots Kenny, Kathie Lee departs, and Wendy reveals the truth about Cartman's essay.
08/20/1997
01:45

Serenading Kathie Lee
South ParkS1 E2

Chef sings a song of love, and lust, to Kathie Lee.
08/20/1997
01:32

Painful Memories
South ParkS1 E2

Mr. Garrison remembers losing a talent show to Kathie Lee.
08/20/1997
00:58

The Mayor's Announcement
South ParkS1 E2

The Mayor announces that the class will put on a play for Kathie Lee.
08/20/1997
01:08

94 Pound Beefcake
South ParkS1 E2

Cartman brags about the four pounds he has gained overnight from eating Weight Gain 4000.
08/20/1997
01:48

Garrison is Dismissed
South ParkS1 E2

The class play is too violent to showcase to Kathie Lee.
08/20/1997
00:53

Wendy Wants the Truth
South ParkS1 E2

Cartman gets fatter as Wendy plans to get the truth about his paper.
08/20/1997
00:40

Buying a Gun
South ParkS1 E2

Mr. Garrison buys a gun from Jimbo's gun store.
08/20/1997
00:45

Finding the Truth
South ParkS1 E2

Wendy finds Cartman's essay, then learns of Mr. Garrison's plans.
08/20/1997
01:31

Must Stop Garrison
South ParkS1 E2

Wendy warns the boys of Mr. Garrison's impending assassination attempt.
08/20/1997
01:01

Follow Your Dreams
South ParkS1 E2

Cartman winds up on Geraldo for being incredibly obese.
08/20/1997
01:57

Scuzzlebutt Saved The Day
South ParkS1 E3

Scuzzlebutt saves the boys from death by lava.
08/27/1997
01:25

Duck & Cover
South ParkS1 E3

Officer Barbrady shows an old film to help with volcano safety.
08/27/1997
01:36

Special Treatment
South ParkS1 E4

Mr. Garrison gives Stan special treatment because he is the star of the football team. After class Mr. Garrison tells Stan gay people are evil. evil.
09/03/1997
01:10

Big Gay Al
South ParkS1 E4

A seemingly unwanted Sparky runs away and is found by Big Gay Al, who invites him to live in his gay animal sanctuary.
09/03/1997
00:37

Plans Foiled
South ParkS1 E4

During half-time, Richard misses the High F in "Loving You," ruining Jimbo's plans.
09/03/1997
02:15

A Gay Victory
South ParkS1 E4

Stan returns to the game just in time to beat the spread. When he makes his victory speech, he says being gay os okay.
09/03/1997
02:01

Genetical Engineering
South ParkS1 E5

Kyle decides the only way his mom is going to let him keep his new pet elephant is to cross-breed him with Cartman's pot-bellied pig.
09/10/1997
02:01

Ba-Chomp Ba Chewy Chomp
South ParkS1 E5

Stan stops his 400-pound evil clone from destroying the city and invites him to go home and meet Shelley.
09/10/1997
02:23

Complaints Everywhere
South ParkS1 E6

The class is mad because Kyle's mom called Mr. Garrison and everyone's parents to complain about "Terrance and Phillip." Stan ponders killing his grandfather.
09/17/1997
00:41

P.T.A. Meeting
South ParkS1 E6

The P.T.A. meet and decide to not only boycott "Terrance and Phillip," but the whole network. Mr. Garrison seems to have caught Kenny's explosive diarrhea.
09/17/1997
00:31

Cartoon Central
South ParkS1 E6

Mrs. Broflovski leads the "Terrance and Phillip" protest while explosive diarrhea spreads though the protestors.
09/17/1997
01:22

Chewbacca
South ParkS1

The boys get to class and see that everyone is dressed up like Chewbacca, including Wendy. Kenny's limbs start falling off.
10/29/1997
01:56

Non-offensive Christmas Icon
South ParkS1 E9

The people of South Park are in an uproar about the Nativity Scene being displayed in front the Capitol Office. When the mayor calls for a new icon, Kyle suggests Mr. Hankey.
12/17/1997
01:31

Kyle's Mom's a Bitch Song
South ParkS1 E9

Mr. Hankey comes to life while Cartman sings about Kyle's mom being a bitch. When poop mysteriously lands on Cartman's face, everyone blames Kyle.
12/17/1997
00:55

Offensively Non-Offensive
South ParkS1 E9

The boys commit Kyle to a mental institution before he and his fecalphelia can hurt anyone else.
12/17/1997
02:18

Dress Rehearsal
South ParkS1 E9

Mrs. Broflovski feels the school Christmas play shouldn't have a nativity scene. She is outraged that her Jewish son, Kyle, is set to play Joseph.
12/17/1997
02:48

Fa La La Your La
South ParkS1 E9

South Park Elementary finally presents the happy, non-offensive, non-denominational school play, with compositions by Phillip Glass.
12/17/1997
02:21

Son of Satan
South ParkS1 E10

The new kid in South Park is the spawn of the Prince of Darkness, and he's not invited to Cartman's birthday party.
02/04/1998
01:57

Satan Chooses Jesus
South ParkS1 E10

Damien destroys the playground with his evil wrath and calls upon his dark father to battle it out with Jesus.
02/04/1998
01:24

Forsaken and Trainin'
South ParkS1 E10

With only one person supporting him, Jesus feels betrayed by the people of South Park, who have all changed their bets in favor of Satan.
02/04/1998
01:47

Criminal Iraqi Fugitive
South ParkS1 E11

Wendy and Stan patch things up and Mr. Garrison can't take being so unbelievably hot anymore.
02/11/1998
01:01

Hasselhoff
South ParkS1 E11

Mr. Garrison is getting a nose job from a surgeon named Tom.
02/11/1998
00:53

Contact
South ParkS1 E11

Mr. Garrison wakes up from the surgery. He is in bad shape -- his face is bleeding, his head is spinning and he keeps vomiting at the mention of the film "Contact."
02/11/1998
00:43

Carpet Licker
South ParkS1 E11

Mr. Garrison takes off the bandages and looks exactly like David Hasselhoff. Meanwhile, the boys try their hardest to become lesbians.
02/11/1998
02:04

Black Leather
South ParkS1 E11

Wendy's makeover is no match for Ms. Ellen's new look. Mr. Garrison resigns and Stan gets the highest test score, winning him a dinner with Ms. Ellen.
02/11/1998
00:58

Gonna Need More Smack
South ParkS1 E11

Wendy is crushed when she spies on Stan and Ms. Ellen having dinner. Mr. Garrison pursues a heroin-addicted new career.
02/11/1998
01:11

Lost Love
South ParkS1 E11

Wendy apologizes to Ms. Ellen and the class. She has given up on the fight for Stan and is torn up. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison is on fire.
02/11/1998