Fan Question: I’ve seen tons of romantic stuff over the years — like Garrison get his monkey-hole pounded, Cartman jacking off dogs, and Sharon giving Randy a nice ol’ fashioned… but has there ever been a real Valentine’s Day episode?
Answer: Ahhh, love. You certainly mentioned some of the more romantic moments in the show (other one’s I might add: Hot scissoring with Ms. Garrison, Jimmy taking Nut Gobbler to the Ho-Tel, and Kenny being killed by a BJ from his new girlfriend, Tammy).
But to answer your question: Yes, there’s only been ONE true Valentine’s Day episode.
It was way, WAY back in Season 1’s “Tom’s Rhinoplasty“. As Valentine’s Day approaches, the boys’ class gets a new substitute teacher (Ms. Ellen). Stan falls for her, ignores Wendy, and well… let’s just say you don’t wanna f*** with Wendy Testaburger.
Also worth noting: We meet Cartman’s match-making pal Cupid Me in Season 16’s “Cartman Finds Love“. Although this is not technically a Valentine’s Day episode, it’s chock full of romance, BRO-mance, and of course, Halitosis Kids. Definitely another episode to check out…