South Park
What Scientologist Actually Believe
Season 9 E 12 • 11/16/2005
The head of the Church of Scientology tells Stan the creation myth that Scientologists believe.
Watch Full Episode

Watch Random Episode

Watching

00:50
South ParkS9 E2
Hippie Hostages
Cartman has locked a bunch of hippies in his basement, but pacifies them with joints and a guitar.
03/16/2005
01:17
South ParkS9 E2
Hippie Capital
South Park becomes the Hippie Capital of the World and the townpeople panic.
03/16/2005
00:52
South ParkS9 E2
Mayor Visits Cartman
Cartman's in jail for kidnapping hippies and the mayor confirms that she signed the permit for the hippies' jam band concert.
03/16/2005
01:47
South ParkS9 E2
Hippie Digger
Cartman, Butters' Mom, Chef and Randy drive the Hippie Digger into the crowd at Hippie Jam Fest 2005.
03/16/2005
01:40
South ParkS9 E2
Hippie Infestation
Cartman warns an old woman about the hippie infestation in her house.
03/16/2005
01:40
South ParkS9 E2
Freeing Cartman
The adults ask Cartman for help in eradicating South Park of hippies -- but Cartman has demands.
03/16/2005
00:44
South ParkS9 E2
Stan's Speech
Stan takes the mic at the Hippie Jam Fest and tries to get the crowd motivated to actually accomplish something.
03/16/2005
00:54
South ParkS9 E2
Lazy Hippies
The boys are ready to take action against major corporations, but the hippies are too stoned to do anything meaningful.
03/16/2005
01:51
South ParkS9 E2
Cartman's Plea
Cartman crashes the City Council meeting, warning them that the hippies are converging on South Park at an alarming rate.
03/16/2005
00:48
South ParkS9 E2
Woodstock Flashback
Stan's parents remember their hippie days at Woodstock and realize they don't want Stan anywhere near those people.
03/16/2005
00:38
South ParkS9 E2
Chef Volunteers?
Chef has to suffer through the crowd to activate the backup boosters on the Hippie Digger before a nuke is launched.
03/16/2005
00:36
South ParkS9 E2
Hippie Digger Stalls
The Hippie Digger overheats in the middle of the crowd, just as Stan rushes the stage.
03/16/2005
00:20
South ParkS9 E2
Stan's Changed
Stan's Mom asks him if he wants to go to the mall, and he explains to her about Corporate Fat Cats.
03/16/2005
01:50
South ParkS9 E2
Buzz Killer
Cartman and his crew blast Slayer music through the sound system, causing the hippies to disperse. South Park is saved, and Cartman's victory is sweet.
03/16/2005
01:45
South ParkS9 E2
Cartman's Plan
Cartman needs a crew to operate a Hippie Digger to penetrate the festival crowd, so they can play Slayer over the PA system.
03/16/2005
01:14
South ParkS9 E2
Cartman Arrested
The hippies are planning a week-long music festival in South Park and Cartman is arrested for holding hippies hostage in his basement.
03/16/2005
00:41
South ParkS9 E3
Token Wins The Colorado Child Star Contest
Mrs. Garrison announces that Token has won a singing contest and is being paid $200 to perform at the Miss Colorado Pageant.
03/23/2005
04:06
South ParkS9 E3
Wing Doesn't Belong to Anyone
After a shootout, Stan convinces both the boys and the Chinese mafia to stop mooching off of their clients' hopes and dreams.
03/23/2005
02:06
South ParkS9 E3
Wing Has Touched Sly
Sly, touched by Wings voice, offers $4,000 to have her sing at his son's wedding. Unfortunately, she's been stolen again.
03/23/2005
01:55
South ParkS9 E3
Super Awesome Talent Agency
Cartman and the boys convince Token that he needs their agency to protect him from the huge media storm that is surely about to blow up his career.
03/23/2005