WHAT’S THE SCORE, JEFE?

Cartman walks right underneath the net and tosses the ball in. Petano changes the score to one zero.

CARTMAN
Oho, that’s ONE to NOTHING, amigo.

‘TROUBLED’ KID
You CHEATED!

CARTMAN
(pointing)
WHAT’S THE SCORE, jefe? Okay let’s go. Your turn.

Now the troubled kid has the ball. He tries to do a juke move on Cartman, but Cartman uses the same baton to take out the kid’s other shin.

‘TROUBLED’ KID
AAHGHG!

Cartman takes the ball, walks under the net and tosses the ball in. The score changes to 2-0.

CARTMAN
That’s two to NOTEEENG, amigo.

‘TROUBLED’ KID
Fuck you, man! You can’t DO THAT!

CARTMAN
Look at the scoreboard, amigo.

The kid looks. POV – it says 2-0

CARTMAN
No matter how many times YOU say I cheated, The SCOREBOARD says 2 – nothing.

‘TROUBLED’ KID
I know what you’re trying to say. But I STILL don’t agree with it.

The kid tosses the ball and walks away.

CARTMAN
(calling after him)
TWO TO NOTHING, essa. TWO TO NOTHING.

He just keeps walking away. Cartman closes his eyes and sighs.

CARTMAN
Hoh… How do I reach these keedz?

>> Watch the full basketball scene from “Eek! A Penis” right here