Fan Question: What are the lyrics to Wendy’s song in the “Fingerbang” episode?

Fan Question: Fingerbang bang! Just rewatched that ep and forgot how AWESOME Wendy’s song is when she’s trying out for the boy band. Can you hook me up with her lyrics?

Answer: Hell yeah, dude — happy to give you a little behind-the-scenes Fingerbang action. Here’s Wendy’s full song, right from the vaulted script of “Something You Can Do With Your Finger“:

WENDY
(Singing and dancing really well)
Mrs. Landers was a health nut
She cooked food in a wok
Mr. Harris was her boyfriend
And he had a great big
Cockadoodle doodle
The rooster just won’t quit
And I don’t want my breakfast
Because it tastes like
Shitzus make good house pets
They’re cuddly and sweet
Monkeys aren’t good to have
’cause they like to beat their

Stan, Kyle and Kenny all watch on, impressed. Cartman sits slumped over, resting his head on his hand with half-shut eyes.

WENDY (CONT’D)
(Still doing awesome)
Meeting in the office
A meeting in the hall
The boss he wants to see you
So you can suck his
Balzac was a writer
He lived with Alan Funt
Mrs. Roberts didn’t like him
But that’s ’cause she’s a
Contaminated water
Can really make you sick
Your bladder gets infected
And blood comes out your
Dictate what I’m saying
Because it will bring you luck
And if you all don’t like it
I don’t give a flying fuck!

She finishes. Stan, Kyle and Kenny applaud loudly.

CARTMAN
Thanks Wendy… Don’t call us. We won’t call you either.

Watch her Fingerbang audition here & get ready to sing along: