MOM, DAD !

I'VE CHANGED BACK !

WHAT ?

GOTH KIDS BURNT DOWNTHE HOT TOPIC

AND SURE ENOUGH,SOON AS THEY DID,

I TRIED EATING A HOT DOGAND IT TASTED GOOD !

MY VAMPIRE TEETH EVENFELL OUT WHEN I BIT INTO IT !

I'M HUMAN AGAIN !

WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RETALKING ABOUT, BUTTERS,

BUT WE'RE GLADYOU'RE HOME !

THAT'S RIGHT, SON.

THERE'S ONLY ONE THINGI CARE ABOUT--

WHAT'S THAT, DAD ?

WELL, WOULD YOU MINDTELLING ME WHY THERE'S

RICE-A-RONI IN MY COFFEE !?

UH-OH.

BUTTERS,YOU ARE GROUNDED !

AWWWW, DANG IT !

IT WORKED, LINDA.

OUR SON ISGROUNDABLE ONCE MORE.

FELLOW STUDENTS,

OVER THE PAST WEEK,THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF CONFUSION

AND SO WE HAVE ASKEDFOR THIS ASSEMBLY

TO CLARIFY THE DIFFERENCEBETWEEN GOTH KIDS

AND VAMPIRE KIDS.

LET US MAKE ITABUNDANTLY CLEAR:

IF YOU HATE LIFE,TRULY HATE THE SUN

AND NEED TO SMOKEAND DRINK COFFEE

YOU ARE GOTH.

IF, HOWEVER, YOU LIKEDRESSING IN BLACK

'CAUSE IT'S FUN,

ENJOY PUTTINGSPARKLES ON YOUR CHEEKS

AND FOLLOWING THE OCCULT

WHILE AVOIDING THINGSTHAT ARE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH

THEN YOU ARE MOST LIKELY

A DOUCHE BAGVAMPIRE-WANNABE BONER.

BECAUSE ANYBODY WHO THINKSTHEY ARE ACTUALLY A VAMPIRE

IS FREAKING RETARDED.

( cheers & applause )

F--K ALL OF YOU.