AND ACCEPT THAT WEHAVE TO BE CARTMAN'S SLAVES.
DAMMIT BILLY, THIS ISN'TABOUT YOU HAVING TO BE SLAVES
THIS IS ABOUT HISTORY.
WE CAN'TLET THEM CHANGE IT !
BUT WE'VE TRIEDEVERYTHING, GRANDPA
WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO ?
WAIT A MINUTE, THEY'RE ALLSTILL DOING A REENACTMENT
WHAT WE HAVE TO DOIS PLAY INTO THAT.
C'MON BILLY, YOU BOYS NEEDA QUICK HISTORY LESSON.
ALRIGHT, I'M GONNASIGN THE DOCUMENT
DECLARING THE CONFEDERACYWINNERS OF THE CIVIL WAR.
HOORAY !HOORAY !HOORAY !
BOY, WE'VE REALLY GOTTHE PRESIDENT BY THE BALLS !
GOOD THING YOU'VEGOT THAT VIDEOTAPE
OF HIM ANDMARISA TOMEI !
I DON'T,I MADE IT UP.
HEY, WHO'S THAT ?
HELLO, I'M ABRAHAM LINCOLNPRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
YES, AND I'M JEFFERSON DAVISPRESIDENT OF THE CONFEDERACY.
BOY, THIS JUST KEEPSGETTING WEIRDER, DOESN'T IT ?
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING ?
HEY, GENERAL !
HE'S REENACTINGJEFFERSON DAVIS !
YOU CAN'T TALK THAT WAYTO A SUPERIOR OFFICER !
MEN, I WANTYOU ALL TO KNOW
THAT AS PRESIDENTOF THE CONFEDERACY
WELL, AS ABRAHAM LINCOLNI ACCEPT YOUR SURRENDER.
AND AGREE TOYOUR CONDITIONS !
YOU AND ALLTHE CONFEDERATES
WILL HAVE ALL THES'MORE SCHNAPPS YOUCAN DRINK FOR A YEAR !
A WHOLE YEAR !?
ALRIGHT ! WELL, I THINK WE GOTWHAT WE WANTED !
THAT'S IT ? I DON'T HAVE TOSIGN THIS THING ?
HEY, C'MON WE SHOULD TAKE A TOUROF THE SMITHSONIAN BEFORE WEHEAD BACK.
NO ! WE STILLHAVE TO FIGHT !
LINCOLN AND DAVISSIGNED A TREATY, GENERAL.
THE WAR IS OVER.
IT'S FINALLY OVER, CARTMAN.
YOU LOST !
YEAH, AND NOW YOU CANTAKE THAT STUPID BEARD OFF !
( rip )
BOYS AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITEDSTATES I WANT TO COMMEND YOU
FOR STOPPINGTHE REBEL UPRISING.
DON'T TOUCH ME.
WELL, CARTMAN,THE SOUTH LOST.
THAT MEANS YOU'REOUR SLAVE FOR A MONTH !
DAMMIT, DAMMITI WAS SO CLOSE !
NOW THE FIRST THING I WANTYOU TO DO FOR US IS--
WAIT A MINUTE ! I DON'THAVE TO BE YOUR SLAVE !
THE NORTH STILLWON THE CIVIL WAR.
THAT MEANS SLAVERYIS ABOLISHED !
HE'S RIGHT BOYS, SLAVERY ISILLEGAL AND IMMORAL.
PARTIALLY IN THANKS TOTHE NORTH WINNING THE CIVIL WAR.
♪ HA-HA HA-HAHA HA ♪
AW, TO HELL WITH IT,LET'S JUST GO HOME.
THANKS A LOT,BILL CLINTON !
YEAH, THANKS DICK !
The War is Won
Stan and Kyle put an end to the Confederates.
The boys are sent to the Costa Rican rainforest as a part of the Getting Gay with Kids choir tour.x CLOSE
The citizens of South Park are exploding randomly. Stan's dad is on the case.x CLOSE
Chef finally finds the girl of his dreams, but the boys feel like they've lost their best friend.x CLOSE
While camping on the banks of Starks Pond, the boys discover the last two Jakovasaurs left alive on the planet.x CLOSE
The boys coerce two of their reluctant classmates, Tweek and Craig, into a school yard fight.x CLOSE
Cartman sues Stan for sexual harassment.x CLOSE
Shelly babysits Cartman.x CLOSE
The ATF is stationed outside a town party and a standoff reminiscent of Waco is played out in South Park.x CLOSE
As all of South Park waits for the meteor shower to begin, Kyle and Ike go into the wilderness on a Jewbilee camping trip.x CLOSE
The boys are being plagued by the fifth graders and Pirate Ghosts in this haunting Halloween episode. Special guest: Korn.x CLOSE
Stan and Kyle put an end to the Confederates.x CLOSE
The Confederates get more schnapps.x CLOSE
The Confederates decide to take Topeka.x CLOSE
The boys practice for the Civil War reenactment.x CLOSE
Cartman shows up to the reenactment dressed as General Lee.x CLOSE
Cartman messes up the reenactment.x CLOSE
The Confederates decide to go against tradition and win.x CLOSE
The Confederates win the reenactment.x CLOSE
The Confederates go to Kansas and take Topeka.x CLOSE
The Confederates move to take Missouri.x CLOSE