LETTER OF COMPLAINT #328,956.
After reviewing the preview for the upcoming show on your public
website, I am appalled that this week’s episode and season finale does
not follow my suggested plot outline that I wrote and mailed to you not
three weeks ago.
I can see that your team does not appreciate input from the public. In
the future, you will see that comedic writing like mine will be
accepted, celebrated and produced weekly. As a matter of fact, my
material is far more deserving of shows grander than your dainty program.
I thank you for your acknowledgement of the prodigy that is I,
Heff T. DeeBahg III
LETTER OF RESPONSE
Dear Mr DeeBahg,
In answer to your complaint, how did you get my home address?
That aside, thank you very much for your script submission. Everyone at
South Park greatly appreciated your work.
My supervisor Elyse thought your decision to change the location of
South Park from a mountain town to an island covered in tapioca so the
characters “humorously” continue to slip and fall, was absolute brilliance.
Office Manager Tina was ecstatic that you avoided writing about any of
the main characters and decided to base the entire program on a
character named Heff that had somehow been present and important in
South Park since the program’s inception though none of the staff had
ever been aware of him.
It is true I am afraid, your story did not make the cut this season…nor
did it make it into the hands of Trey, Matt, the producers, the writers,
animators, story artists, assistants, assistants to the assistants, the
technical directors, lip sync artists, or security guards. It did not in
fact make it beyond the custodians.
But we’ve been very excited to bring to you and the rest of the fans
this week’s very special episode and season finale about our boys, Stan,
Kyle, Cartman and Kenny, and their adventures in the area’s water park:
Pipi’s Splash Town.
So to all the South Park viewers, thank you very much for watching our
thirteenth season and we’ll see you all again next year for season
And to you Mr DeeBahg, we look very much forward to your next submission.