Life in the Slow Lane
First off let me tell you why I am awesome:
#1 I drive a sweet 2004 Nissan Sentra.
#2 I work at South Park
#3 I have an iPhone
With that out of the way here is what happened at work today.
The 405 is arguably one of the busiest freeways in the United States of God’s America. Early this morning a tractor trailer holding a crane crashed and burned in the middle of the 405. This single event caused more traffic than this city has seen in hours! Animators were trapped in gridlock. Technical Directors sat starring out at rows of horseless carriages. Storyboard artists drew beautiful highways in their mind made of love and compassion. Highways where children play safe from danger, pain, suffering? “Wait a second incredibly handsome PA R. Emmett Sibley, how would the show get done if everyone was stuck in traffic?” Wow reader, I mean come on! Maybe if you laid off the Mountain Dew, Warcraft, and your real doll for three seconds, I could tell you.
The calls started flooding the switchboard. “I’m going to be late”, “Please connect me to, (insert Jack, Ryan, or Hanson here)”, and “what’s for lunch? PS I hate it already”. The office remained calm. “They can’t be on the road forever “I shouted.
Then, out of the sky like an angel descending from on high, a helicopter landed in our parking lot. This was the kind of whirly bird that gets your sister pregnant and would call Airwolf an over-hyped pussy. Of course Matt was flying and in shot gun? Trey Parker. Matt and Trey will do anything to get a show done; whether that means staying up all night, eating buckets of fried chicken against doctors orders, or even flying a helicopter to pick up a friend. Matt then personally picked up each crewmember using the GPS on a state-of-the-art helio cellular telephone and a little thing he calls Seventy Five Million Dollar know how. Meanwhile, Trey started writing or as I like to call it, Channeling God. “Yo, super intelligent PA R. Emmett Sibley, I know everything about Matt and for sure I know that he does not fly a helicopter. You’re being an asshole again even though you probably smell wonderful.” Well reader, I know Matt. I work with him every day. We split a plate of cheese fries yesterday and he does fly a helicopter. Wikipedia doesn’t know everything. Pause your latest quest, sip a red bull and think on that. BOOSH!
The show is getting done as I type this. It is so good. This trilogy is amazing and I am proud to have worked on it. I am hoping that tonight I can be in a looping session so that my voice will be heard on all three episodes. I got to scream “Blood Orgy.” It just about made my year. Jill, love of my life, I need no Xmas gift this year, I had a Blood Orgy.
Inspired by this weeks episode, we used our imaginations to blog and make Halloween costumes. We came as Fruit Flies this year because our office building is over run with them. Here is a picture of Nate and I. Ladies, Nate is single, he owns a Helio cellular telephone, and he wears more hair gel than all of the Italians in the state of New Jersey. His likes are complaining, drinking alcohol in his room alone, and expensive power strips for his giant Westinghouse TV and many outdated gaming consoles.