>> WHOA!
IT'S ALL SO REAL!
THIS IS AMAZING!
IT'S LIKE I'M THERE!
I SEE ALL OUR FRIENDS AT SCHOOL!
OH, WOW!
IF I HOLD UP MY HANDS, I CAN SEE
THEM, TOO!
WHOA!
WOW! YOU WERE RIGHT!
I CAN ACTUALLY FEEL IT!
>> BUTTERS, WHAT THE HELL ARE
YOU DOING?
>> I FEEL STAN!
HE LOOKS TOTALLY REAL!
>> THAT'S AWESOME, BUTTERS.
KEEP MAKING YOUR WAY DOWN THE
HALLWAY.
YOUR VITAL SIGNS ARE LOOKING
GOOD.
WHAT DO YOU SEE NOW?
>> MORE OF THE SCHOOL.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BUTTERS?
>> THE SCHOOL AND ALL THE KIDS.
I STILL CAN'T HEAR ANY SOUND
EXCEPT FOR YOUR VOICE.
>> YEAH, THEY HAVEN'T WORKED OUT
THE AUDIO YET, BUT --
[ STIFLED LAUGHTER ]
HE'S SO [BLEEP] STUPID.
BUT I'M SURE THEY WILL SOON.
>> UGH. OKAY.
I THINK I'M DONE ERIC.
I-I'M FEELING KIND OF DIZZY AND,
UH --
>> BUTTERS, NO!
ARE YOU CRAZY?
>> WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!
>> WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT
REMOVING THE HEADSET WHEN YOU'RE
NOT BACK AT THE ACCESS HUB?
>> OH, YEAH -- THAT IT WOULD
SPLIT MY NEURONS AND SCRAMBLE MY
BRAINS!
I FORGOT!
>> YOU FORGOT YOUR NEURONS WOULD
BE TORN APART?
DID YOU ALSO FORGET THAT IF YOU
DIE IN VIRTUAL REALITY, YOU DIE
IN REAL LIFE, BUTTERS?
>> I'M SORRY!
>> YOU NEED FIND YOUR WAY BACK
TO MY ROOM.
CAN YOU DO THAT?
>> YEAH!
>> WE ONLY HAVE EIGHT MINUTES
BEFORE THE BATTERY PROTOCOLS DIE
BUTTERS.
YOU HAVE TO HURRY.
>> OH, JESUS!
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
OKAY. I'M BACK AT YOUR ROOM!
>> ALL RIGHT, BUTTERS, SIT DOWN
AT THE COMPUTER.
NOW DROP THE STAFERNASY WINDOW.
WE'RE JUST GONNA MAKE IT.
>> STAFERNASY WINDOW DROPPED!
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
>> WELCOME BACK, DUDE.
>> WOW. THAT WAS COOL.
>> HOW DO YOU FEEL?
DO YOU FEEL OKAY?
>> I TOUCHED WENDY'S BOOB.
>> [ LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY ]
AND THEN -- AND THEN HE -- HE
TOOK OF THE SHOP GOGGLES, AND
WAS ALL LIKE, "WHOA, I'M BACK!"
[ FIST POUNDS ]
DAMN IT IF IT'S NOT THE
AWESOMEST THING EVER!
>> SOUNDS PRETTY TYPICAL TO ME.
>> COME ON, GUYS.
THIS IS THE "CURE DE GARS" OF
BUTTERS TORTURE.
>> "COUP DE GRACE," CARTMAN.
>> THANK YOU, KYLE.
>> POOR BUTTERS.
CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE?
>> DUDE, BUTTERS IS AN ASSHOLE,
AND HE DESERVES TO BE TAKEN DOWN
ONCE IN A WHILE, OKAY?
>> HEY, ERIC!
WHAT DID YOU SAY TO THE
PRINCIPAL FOR MISSING FIRST
PERIOD?
NOT THAT WE WERE DOING ANYTHING
INTERESTING.
[ Chuckling ]
RIGHT, ERIC?
>> YEAH, I JUST TOLD HER I WAS
RUNNING LATE AND IT WON'T HAPPEN
AGAIN.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID?
SHE ASKED ME WHY I WASN'T IN
SCHOOL, AND I SAID, "WELL,
TECHNICALLY, I WAS AT SCHOOL."
TEE HEE!
SORRY, GUYS, BUT ERIC AND I KNOW
A LITTLE SOMETHING YOU DON'T --
NOT THAT IT'S ANYTHING THAT
COOL.
RIGHT, ERIC?
>> RIGHT, BUTTERS.
THESE GUYS ARE SO DUMB, HUH?
>> YEAH!
>> SEE?
HE'S AN ASSHOLE.
[BLEEP] HIM.
EACH TIME YOU GO INTO THE
VIRTUAL WORLD, IT BECOMES MORE
AND MORE DANGEROUS.
ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU WANT
TO DO THIS, BUTTERS?
>> WELL, NOT 100%.
>> EVEN 10% IS GOOD ENOUGH.
HERE YOU GO.
>> OKAY. SUBJECT IS READY.
>> ALL RIGHT, BUTTERS, I'M
BOOTING UP THE CORE COMPETENCY
NOW.
[ KEYS CLACKING ]
EDIFICE FRAMEWORK IS ONLINE.
>> VITAL SIGNS APPEAR TO BE
NORMAL.
INTERIM STATUS?
>> INTERIM STATUS IS GO!
>> DIGITAL MALCONTENT NOW AT
PARAMETER ALPHA.
PREPARE FOR FULL GRAPHIC
INTERFACING ON MY MARK.
FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE,
MARK.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
>> IT WORKED!
I'M BACK IN!
ALL SYSTEMS NORMAL!
>> ALL RIGHT, BUTTERS, BEHIND
YOU, YOU SHOULD SEE THE DOOR.
GO THROUGH IT AND HEAD OUTSIDE.
>> GOING NOW!
[ THUD ]
>> EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD,
BUTTERS.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
LET'S GET TO WORK.
>> OKAY.
[ SHOVEL SCRAPING ]
[ GRUNTING ]
HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS AM I
SUPPOSED TO CLEAR UP?
>> YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
ALMOST DONE WITH THIS LEVEL,
BUTTERS.
JUST MAKE SURE YOU'VE CLEARED
THE DRIVEWAY AND, UH, WALKWAY OF
ALL THE VIRTUAL SNOW.
>> OKAY!
IT'S SO REALISTIC!
THE SNOW LOOKS KIND OF FAKE,
THOUGH.
ALL RIGHT, I THINK THAT'S ALL OF
IT!
>> OKAY, NICE, BUTTERS.
UM, NOW GO TO THE FRONT DOOR AND
RING THE DOORBELL.
THIS IS THE PART WHERE YOU
COLLECT THE MONEY.
>> THERE'S A OLD FAT LADY HERE!
SHE'S HOLDING OUT MONEY FOR ME!
>> JUST TAKE THE MONEY, BUTTERS.
>> OKAY, I GOT IT!
>> YOU GOT THE MONEY?
OKAY, GREAT, BUTTERS.
NOW GET BACK TO THE ACCESS
POINT.
>> ALREADY?
AW, NO!
>> YEAH, BUTTERS.
THE DISCREPANCY BARS ARE
OSCILLATING.
YOU NEED TO, UM, COME BACK.
ARE YOU HEADING BACK, BUTTERS?
BUTTERS?
ALL RIGHT, BUTTERS, YOU SHOULD
GET BACK TO THE ACCESS POINT
NOW.
YOU'RE GOING OFF GRID.
>> I'M SORRY, ERIC, BUT THERE'S
JUST ONE THING I GOT TO DO REAL
QUICK.
>> THERE YOU ARE, MISTER!
JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE
DOING?
>> HELLO, DAD!
IT'S ME -- BUTTERS!
>> I KNOW THAT.
WHAT ARE YOU --
>> THIS IS FOR ALL THE TIMES I
GOT GROUNDED.
>> OHH!
OHH. OHH.
>> HA! I COULD ALMOST FEEL HIS
BALLS ON MY FIST!
[ LAUGHS ]
HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT, DAD?
>> BUTTERS, WHY?!
OH, MY GOD!
>> THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!
>> UH, BUTTERS, UH, GET BACK TO
THE ACCESS POINT NOW.
>> I FEEL AMAZING!
[ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ]
I'M BACK OUTSIDE NOW!
I'M A BAD MAN!
YOU HEAR ME?
TAKE THAT, YOU STUPID CARS!
[ GLASS BREAKING ]
[ TIRES SCREECHING ]
>> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING,
KID?!
>> BUTTERS, IT'S, UH, TIME TO
STOP.
GET BACK TO MY PLACE.
>> WHO'S THE MAN NOW?
I'M GONNA TAKE HIS CAR!
THIS IS LIKE "GRAND THEFT AUTO"!
>> HEY!
>> WHOA!
I'M IN THE CAR NOW!
>> OH [BLEEP]
BUTTERS, BUTTERS, WHERE ARE YOU
NOW?
>> [ LAUGHS ]
I'M IN THE BAD PART OF TOWN!
I JUST HIT A LAMPPOST!
I'M BACK ON MY FEET.
OH, OH, THAT'S COOL.
THERE'S A PROSTITUTE OUT HERE.
>> OKAY, BUTTERS, LET'S CALL IT
GOOD, OKAY?
>> I'M GONNA BEAT HER UP AND
TAKE HER MONEY!
>> WAIT. HANG ON BUTTERS.
>> TAKE THAT, YOU DUMB HOOKER!
>> WHAT YOU DOING, [BLEEP]
>> I'M TAKING YOUR MONEY!
OH. OH, SHE STABBED ME.
UH, THE HOOKER STABBED ME.
>> BUTTERS, GET BACK TO MY ROOM
THE VERACROSSES ARE
DESTABILIZING.
>> [ Wheezing ] I CAN'T -- I
CAN'T BREATHE TOO GOOD, ERIC.
I CAN'T SEE.
ARE YOU STILL THERE?
OH. I THINK I OVERDID IT.
I GOT TO TAKE THIS THING OFF.
WHAT THE HELL?
WHAT HELL IS THAT?!
AAH!
>> BUTTERS?
BUTTERS?
>> YOU'RE VERY LUCKY, YOUNG MAN.
YOU'VE GOT A COUPLE HAIRLINE
FRACTURES, BUT THE KNIFE MISSED
YOUR SPLEEN BY HALF AN INCH.
>> I-I D-DIDN'T THINK A KNIFE
COULD REALLY HURT ME.
I THOUGHT I WAS JUST IN A
VIRTUAL REALITY.
>> NO, YOU ACTUALLY GOT STABBED
BY A HOOKER.
WE'VE CALLED YOUR PARENTS, AND
THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY.
YOUR DAD WANTED ME TO LET YOU
KNOW THAT YOU'RE GROUNDED MORE
THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE.
>> AW, NUTS.
>> TRY AND RELAX, AND WHEN
YOU'RE PARENTS GET HERE, WE'LL
SORT THIS ALL OUT.
>> WONDER HOW LONG I'M GROUNDED
FOR.
>> BUTTERS.
>> AAH!
>> ARE YOU OKAY?
>> ERIC!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> I'M NOT HERE, BUTTERS.
>> WHAT?
>> THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD TO
UNDERSTAND BUTTERS, BUT YOU'VE
BECOME TRAPPED IN THE
SIMULATION.
NONE OF THIS IS REAL.
>> NUH-UNH!
>> YEAH-HUH.
I TOLD YOU NEVER TO TAKE THE
HEADSET OFF OUTSIDE THE ACCESS
POINT, DIDN'T I?
WE'RE ACTUALLY BOTH AT MY HOUSE
RIGHT NOW.
YOU'RE WEARING THE HEADSET, AND
I'M TALKING TO YOU AS A COMPUTER
PROGRAM.
THAT'S WHY I CAN...MANIPULATE
REALITY.
>> WHAT?!
>> YOU SEE, IN THIS WORLD,
THINGS AREN'T WHAT THEY SEEM.
>> AAH! OKAY, STOP! STOP!
>> LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY,
BUTTERS.
THE OCULUS COMPROMISE HAS BEEN
STREAMLINED.
YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE IN THIS
REALITY.
SAY NOTHING TO NO ONE ABOUT THE
OCULUS RIFT.
IF YOU THINK THEY KNOW, THEY
WILL KILL YOU.
>> HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
>> HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT THE
NURSE IS ABOUT TO WALK THROUGH
THAT DOOR?
[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING ]
>> EVERYTHING OKAY IN HERE?
>> AAH!
YES! YES, EVERYTHING'S FINE!
>> OKAY.
>> BUTTERS.
>> NO!
>> I'M GONNA GET YOU BACK TO
REALITY, BUTTERS, BUT YOU HAVE
TO GIVE ME TIME.
I'VE GOT TO GO.
THE ORION PARAMETERS ARE
EMBELLISHING.
JUST STAY QUIET.
[ COIN TAPPING ]
[ COIN CLATTERS ]
>> AAH!
>> WELL, ARE YOU HAPPY, CARTMAN?
BUTTERS IS COMPLETELY
TRAUMATIZED.
>> I'M HAPPY THAT I TOTALLY GOT
AWAY WITH IT.
[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]
WHAT'S A 911 AREA CODE?
HELLO?
>> [ Indian accent ] HELLO,
ERIC.
MY NAME IS STEVE FROM OCULUS
CUSTOMER SERVICE.
THERE SEEMS TO BE AN ERROR WITH
OUR VIRTUAL HEADSETS, AND ON
BEHALF OF THE COMPANY, I WOULD
LIKE TO APOLOGIZE AND TRY TO
HELP.
>> WITH WHAT?
>> THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY
JARRING FOR YOU, BUT THERE'S
BEEN A MALFUNCTION WITH THE
HEADSET YOU ORDERED FROM US.
RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE ACTUALLY IN
YOUR ROOM, AT YOUR COMPUTER,
WEARING AN OCULUS HEADSET, BUT
YOU'RE IN A COMA-LIKE TRANCE, MY
FRIEND.
>> [BLEEP] YOU.
>> I UNDERSTAND YOUR SHOCK, MY
FRIEND, BUT YOU HAVE SIMPLY BEEN
IN THE VIRTUAL WORLD SO LONG,
YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN.
>> YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LISTEN TO
HIM, DUDE.
>> UH-HUH.
'CAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS MESSING
WITH BUTTERS, BUT I'M ACTUALLY
THE ONE TRAPPED IN VIRTUAL
REALITY.
>> THE PEOPLE YOU ARE TALKING TO
ARE JUST COMPUTER PROGRAMS, MY
FRIEND.
>> GUYS, TELL HIM YOU'RE NOT
COMPUTER PROGRAMS.
>> MAYBE WE ARE.
>> [ SIGHS ]
KYLE, JUST DON'T BE A DICK RIGHT
NOW.
>> I KNOW THIS IS VERY HARD FOR
YOU, BUT WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF
TIME.
>> YOU REALLY THINK I'M THAT
STUPID, THAT I'D BELIEVE ALL OF
THIS, ALL ALONG, HAS BEEN ME
LIVING OUT SOME KIND OF VIRTUAL
REALITY FANTASY?
[BLEEP] YOU.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
>> ERIC?
POOPSIEKINS?
ERIC?
HONEY, MAYBE THAT'S ENOUGH
COMPUTER TIME.
IT'S BEEN ABOUT 19 HOURS NOW.
I KNOW YOU SAID NOT TO DISTURB
YOU WITH YOUR NEW TOY, BUT MOMMY
THOUGHT MAYBE YOU NEEDED TO EAT.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL JUST LEAVE IT
HERE, HON.
I'M TURNING IN FOR THE NIGHT.
MOMMY LOVES YOU.
>> WHAT KIND OF PERSON DID WE
RAISE YOU TO BE?!
YOU THINK THIS WORLD IS JUST
THERE FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT?!
YOU ARE NOT TO LEAVE THIS ROOM,
AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE
THE PHONE OR COMPUTER!
>> PLEASE!
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
I HAVE TO FIND A WAY OUT OF
THIS!
>> OH, NO, MISTER.
YOU ARE GROUNDED!
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
[ DOOR OPENS ]
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
>> ARE YOU [BLEEP] WITH ME?
>> WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>> BUTTERS, I'M SERIOUSLY.
ARE YOU [BLEEP] WITH ME?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN --
>> BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, IT'S NOT
COOL.
>> ERIC, YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA
GET ME OUT OF THIS VIRTUAL
WORLD.
>> BUTTERS, I TALKED TO OCULUS
CUSTOMER SERVICE, AND THEY SAID
I'M THE ONE WHO'S WEARING A
HEADSET AND HAS FORGOTTEN HE'S
IN VIRTUAL REALITY.
>> OH, REALLY?
OH, THAT'S A RELIEF.
>> OH, IT'S A RELIEF, HUH?
WELL, GUESS WHAT, BUTTERS.
IF I'M THE ONE TRAPPED IN
VIRTUAL REALITY, THAT MEANS THAT
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A COMPUTER
PROGRAM!
>> OH, GOD!
>> THAT'S RIGHT!
>> OH, GOD!
>> THAT'S RIGHT!
NOW, YOU BETTER STOP MESSING
AROUND BUTTERS SO I CAN HELP YOU
OUT OF THIS.
BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW I SAID IF
YOU DIE IN VIRTUAL REALITY, YOU
DIE IN REAL LIFE?
>> YEAH.
>> WELL, IF YOU GET GROUNDED IN
VIRTUAL REALITY, YOU GET
GROUNDED IN REAL LIFE, TOO --
FOREVER!
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
>> HELLO?
>> KYLE, IT'S BUTTERS.
I'VE BEEN GROUNDED!
>> AGAIN?
>> NO, NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THIS TIME, I'VE BEEN GROUNDED
FOR NO GOOD REASON.
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, KYLE.
>> UH-HUH.
>> I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING
SUPERNATURAL GOING ON.
I ASKED MY DAD WHY I WAS BEING
GROUNDED, AND HE SAID THAT FOR
ASKING HIM, THAT I WAS MORE
GROUNDED.
IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
>> BUTTERS, BUTTERS I'M -- I'M
KIND OF SUPER BUSY RIGHT NOW.
>> PLEASE!
JUST GO TO CARTMAN'S HOUSE!
I THINK THE ANSWER MIGHT BE
WITHIN THE --
>> BUTTERS!
WHO IS THAT?!
>> AAH!
[ KEYPAD BEEPS ]
>> MRPH!
MRPH RMHMHM RM MRPH RMHMHM RM!
MRPH RMH?
MRPH RMHMHM RM!
MRPH RMHMHM RM MRPH RMHMHM!
>> YOU FOUND CARTMAN LIKE THIS,
AND YOU THINK HE'S SOMEHOW
TRAPPED IN VIRTUAL REALITY?
>> MRPH!
>> [BLEEP] YOU.
>> MRPH?
>> GET UP, CARTMAN.
>> MRPH RMHMHM RM!
>> OKAY, THEN LET'S TAKE HIM TO
THE HOSPITAL.
YOU HEAR THAT, FATSO?
YOU'RE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL!
>> KYLE, MAYBE THIS IS FOR REAL.
>> [BLEEP] YOU IF YOU'RE IN ON
THIS.
>> IN ON WHAT?
OH, [BLEEP] YOU.
>> YES, NO, SORRY.
BUT BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT TWO
BUSINESS-CLASS TICKETS, I CANNOT
REFUND THE FARES.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO.
ALL RIGHT.
HAVE I ANSWERED ALL YOUR
CUSTOMER CONCERNS IN A TIMELY,
POLITE MANNER?
THANK YOU FOR CALLING KOREAN
AIRLINES CUSTOMER SERVICE.
EL POLLO LOCO CUSTOMER SERVICE.
THIS IS STEVE.
>> OH.
UH, WE'RE TRYING TO REACH OCULUS
CUSTOMER SERVICE.
>> OH, YES.
UH, YES, MY FRIEND.
OCULUS CUSTOMER SERVICE.
THIS IS STEVE.
>> YEAH, OUR FRIEND HAD BEEN
MISSING FOR A FEW DAYS, SO WE
WENT AND CHECKED ON HIM, AND
HE'S IN A COMA, WEARING YOUR
HEADSET.
>> OH, YES, YES!
WHAT IS YOUR NAME, PLEASE?
>> KYLE.
>> KYLE, I NEED TO ADVISE YOU
THAT THIS CALL MAY BE RECORDED
TO HELP WITH BETTER CUSTOMER
SERVICE IN THE FUTURE.
IS THAT AGREEABLE TO YOU?
>> I DON'T CARE.
>> HE DOESN'T CARE!
I CAN CONTINUE!
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN VERY
CAREFULLY, MY FRIEND.
THE HEADSET WE SOLD YOU ARE
HAVING SOME MINOR PROBLEMS.
>> YOU MEAN HE'S ACTUALLY STUCK
IN VIRTUAL REALITY?
>> YES, AND THAT IS WHY WE ARE
TRYING TO LOCATE ALL THE
HEADSETS AND DO A RECALL.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
IT IS A TOTAL RECALL.
>> [BLEEP] YOU.
>> [BLEEP] YOU WHAT?
>> HE SAYS THEY'RE DOING A TOTAL
RECALL.
>> OH, [BLEEP] YOU.
>> ALL RIGHT.
DID I TAKE CARE OF ALL YOUR
CUSTOMER NEEDS IN A TIMELY AND
SATISFACTORY FASHION TODAY?
>> YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING
YET.
>> BUT THE CUSTOMER SERVICE --
WAS THAT RELIABLE, AND DID I
ACCURATELY AND POLITELY RESPOND
TO YOUR CONCERNS?
>> WE NEED HELP.
OUR FRIEND IS IN A COMA.
>> UH, LET'S SEE.
UH, IT LOOKS LIKE ONE OF YOU IS
GOING TO HAVE TO PUT ON THE
OCULUS HEADSET AND GO INTO THE
VIRTUAL WORLD AND CONVINCE YOUR
FRIEND TO GET TO AN ACCESS
POINT.
COULD YOU TRY THAT, MY FRIEND?
[ DISTORTION HUMMING ]
>> IT'S OKAY.
EVERYTHING IS COOL.
DON'T LET ANYONE MESS WITH YOUR
HEAD, AND IT'S ALL GONNA BE
FINE.
YOU'RE COOL, ERIC.
YOU'RE COOL.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> HEY, CARTMAN.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
>> I KNOW.
LET'S GO TO THE BACKYARD.
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
>> CARTMAN, I'M GOING TO TELL
YOU SOMETHING, AND I NEED YOU TO
BELIEVE ME, EVEN IF IT SEEMS
IMPOSSIBLE.
>> OKAY, KYLE.
>> ALL RIGHT, HERE IT GOES.
CARTMAN, YOU AREN'T REALLY HERE.
>> MM. AND WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT,
KYLE?
>> BECAUSE I SAW YOU, OKAY, IN
YOUR ROOM, PASSED OUT WITH A
V.R. HEADSET ON.
CUSTOMER SERVICE SAID THAT ONE
OF US NEEDED TO PUT ON THE
HEADSET AND COME GET YOU, AND
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
>> MM-HMM.
>> I KNOW IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE,
BUT YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME.
>> AND WHY DID THE GUYS SEND
YOU, KYLE?
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>> KYLE, I WANT YOU TO BRACE
YOURSELF.
THIS IS GOING TO BE EXTREMELY
HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT YOU ARE THE
ONE THAT'S BEEN IN A COMA WITH
THE V.R. HEADSET ON.
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
>> [BLEEP] YOU.
[ MUSIC RESUMES ]
>> I KNOW IT'S HARD TO GRASP,
KYLE, BUT I WAS THE ONE SENT BY
CUSTOMER SERVICE TO TRY AND
CONVINCE YOU THAT NONE OF WHAT
YOU'VE SEEN IS REAL.
YOU BOUGHT THE OCULUS RIFT
HEADSET, KYLE.
>> DON'T DO THAT.
>> CALM DOWN.
>> NO!
I PUT YOUR HEADSET ON AND CAME
HERE TO --
>> IN VIRTUAL REALITY, YES, YOU
DID.
>> NO. THEN I CAME INTO THIS
VIRTUAL SPACE.
>> YOU'VE BEEN IN THE VIRTUAL
SPACE ALL ALONG, KYLE.
THINK ABOUT IT.
WE'RE ARCHRIVALS.
WHY WOULD THE GUYS SEND YOU IN
TO CONVINCE ME OF ANYTHING?
>> [BLEEP] YOU.
WHY WOULD THEY SEND YOU IN TO
CONVINCE ME OF ANYTHING?
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
>> [BLEEP]
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
>> THANKS FOR CALLING BEST BUY.
HOW CAN I DIRECT YOUR CALL?
>> YES. MY NAME IS KYLE
BROFLOVSKI.
CAN YOU TELL ME IF I PURCHASED
AN OCULUS RIFT HEADSET THERE?
>> OR IF I DID.
>> OR IF YOU SOLD ONE TO AN ERIC
CARTMAN?
>> I'M GONNA HAVE TO CONNECT YOU
TO CUSTOMER SERVICE.
HANG ON A SEC.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
>> BEST BUY CUSTOMER SERVICE.
THIS IS STEVE.
>> DUDE. WHAT?
>> WHAT? HELLO?
>> YES, HELLO.
THIS CALL MAY BE RECORDED TO
ENSURE GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE IN
THE FUTURE.
>> DUDE, NOW THIS IS GETTING
WEIRD.
>> WELL, THIS LOOKS LIKE A
LOVELY MEAL.
TOO BAD BUTTERS WON'T BE
ENJOYING IT.
YOU HEAR THAT, MISTER?
NO DINNER FOR YOU!
WHILE YOU'RE GROUNDED, YOU CAN
JUST GO TO BED HUNGRY!
LINDA, DO YOU REMEMBER WHY
BUTTERS IS GROUNDED?
WHAT -- WHAT DID HE DO?
>> OH, I DON'T KNOW, STEPHEN.
I LET YOU HANDLE ALL THE
GROUNDINGS.
>> IT'S STRANGE.
I DON'T RECALL HIM REALLY DOING
ANYTHING PARTICULARLY BAD, AND
YET -- AND YET HE IS GROUNDED.
[ THUMPING ]
AND NO BOUNCING A RACQUETBALL,
EITHER!
>> NO, LISTEN, I CALLED CUSTOMER
SERVICE BECAUSE I NEED HELP.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
>> WAIT. STAN?
HOLD ON.
IS THIS MY VIRTUAL REALITY OR
CARTMAN'S VIRTUAL REALITY?
>> IT'S NEITHER.
I KNOW THIS MIGHT BE HARD FOR
YOU TO GRASP RIGHT NOW, BUT THIS
IS ALL ACTUALLY REAL.
>> NO, NO, AFTER WE FOUND
CARTMAN, I PUT THE HEADSET ON
AND --
>> NO, DUDE, DUDE, WE'VE ALL
BEEN HERE THE ENTIRE TIME.
>> HOLY [BLEEP]
THEN THIS IS ALL REAL.
WE'VE ALL BEEN HERE FROM THE
BEGINNING, TAKING TURNS ON THE
OCULUS RIFT HEADSET.
>> NO, YOU GUYS, THIS IS VIRTUAL
REALITY.
>> HOW DO YOU KNOW?
>> BECAUSE I'M A COMPUTER
PROGRAM.
>> GOD DAMN IT, CARTMAN.
>> I'M TELLING YOU GUYS.
I SWEAR.
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME.
I AM A COMPUTER PROGRAM.
I'M NOT REAL.
>> HE'S LYING.
>> I'M NOT LYING.
GO AHEAD AND ASK CUSTOMER
SERVICE.
>> WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE
PERSON WHO FIRST CALLED YOU FOR
CUSTOMER SERVICE?
>> OH, YES, YES, YES!
THAT I CAN ANSWER.
HIS NAME WAS...BUTTERS.
>> BUTTERS CALLED CUSTOMER
SERVICE FIRST?
>> HAVE I ANSWERED ALL YOUR
QUESTIONS IN A SATISFYING AND
COURTEOUS MANNER?
>> COME ON.
WE'RE GOING TO BUTTERS' HOUSE.
>> HELLO? MY FRIEND?
MY FRIEND, I BELIEVE WE ARE
HAVING SOME TECHNICAL ISSUES
WITH OUR PHONE LINE.
PLEASE HANG ON.
I'M GOING TO CALL CUSTOMER
SERVICE.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
HELLO. CUSTOMER SERVICE.
THIS IS STEVE.
>> [ Indian accent ] HELLO. THIS
IS STEVE WITH CUSTOMER SERVICE.
>> UH, NO, NO, NO, NO, MY
FRIEND.
I AM STEVE WITH CUSTOMER
SERVICE.
>> LISTEN, MY FRIEND.
THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY HARD TO
COMPREHEND, BUT NONE OF WHAT YOU
ARE SEEING IS REAL.
>> OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO.
>> MY FRIEND, MY FRIEND, MY
FRIEND, A CUSTOMER WHO WAS IN
VIRTUAL REALITY CALLED CUSTOMER
SERVICE, AND IT HAS CREATED A
CUSTOMER FEEDBACK LOOP, OKAY?
HERE IN INDIA, WE CALL IT A
CUSTOMER FEEDBACK VINDALOOP.
>> OH [BLEEP] YOU.
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
DO NOT [BLEEP] ME BECAUSE I AM
YOU, AND THEN WE WILL JUST BE
[BLEEP] OURSELVES!
NOW, HAVE I PROVIDED ANSWERS TO
YOUR QUESTIONS IN A COURTEOUS
AND PROMPT FASHION?
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HAVE YOU
ANSWERED ALL MY QUESTIONS?
NO! YOU HAVE NOT ANSWERED ANY
QUESTIONS AT ALL!
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
LISTEN. LISTEN.
IF I DIDN'T ANSWER YOUR
QUESTIONS, THEN WE HAVE GIVEN
BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE.
>> BUT YOU DIDN'T ANSWER ANY OF
MY QUESTIONS!
>> WELL, WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT,
MY FRIEND -- THE RESULT OR GOOD
CUSTOMER SERVICE?
>> I'M TROUBLED I'M TROUBLED IN
MIND IF JESUS DON'T HELP ME I
SURELY WILL DIE
>> BUTTERS!
>> AH!
BUT YOU GUYS CAN'T BE HERE.
>> WHY NOT?
>> BECAUSE I'M GROUNDED.
THAT MEANS NO VISITORS.
>> BUTTERS, WHEN DID YOU CALL
OCULUS RIFT CUSTOMER SERVICE?
>> WHEN WE WERE PLAYING WITH THE
OCULUS HEADSET.
DON'T YOU GUYS REMEMBER?
WE WERE ALL MESSING AROUND WITH
IT.
I PLAYED WITH IT FIRST AND WENT
A LITTLE NUTS.
I FORGOT I WAS IN VIRTUAL
REALITY AND I GOT GROUNDED AND
NOW I'M GROUNDED IN REAL LIFE.
>> SO, NOW WE ARE IN THE REAL
WORLD?
>> YES!
>> YOU GUYS, I HAVE ACCEPTED THE
REALITY THAT I AM JUST A
COMPUTER PROGRAM.
THE FACT IS THAT ONE OF US RIGHT
NOW IS IN A ROOM WEARING A V.R.
HEADSET, SEEING ALL THIS, AND
IT'S NOT ME.
>> BUTTERS!
[ TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING ]
>> AAH!
>> WHAT ARE YOUR FRIENDS DOING
HERE?!
>> I'M SORRY, DAD!
>> HELLO? HELLO, MY FRIEND?
ARE YOU STILL THERE?
>> YES, WE'RE HERE!
>> LISTEN CAREFULLY, MY FRIEND.
YOU ARE STUCK IN A PARADOX.
IT TURNS OUT THERE ARE THREE
THINGS YOU CANNOT DO IN VIRTUAL
REALITY.
YOU CANNOT DIE, YOU CANNOT GET
GROUNDED, AND YOU CANNOT CALL
CUSTOMER SERVICE.
THIS IS WHY YOU ARE HAVING
PROBLEMS.
>> YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO
YOU?!
>> SO, THEN HOW MUCH OF WHAT HAS
HAPPENED WAS IN VIRTUAL REALITY?
>> WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
>> THAT DOES NOT MATTER!
THERE IS ONLY ONE THING THAT
MATTERS!
>> WHAT?
>> HAVE I ANSWERED YOUR
QUESTIONS SATISFACTORILY AND
OFFERED GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE?
>> THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
>> THAT'S THE PARADOX!
PLEASE, MY FRIEND!
PLEASE!
I AM NOT REAL!
YOU ARE NOT REAL!
HAVE I ANSWERED YOUR QUESTIONS
AND PROVIDED GOOD CUSTOMER
SERVICE?
THIS CALL MAY BE RECORDED!
>> YOU'RE GETTING IT NOW!
>> YES!
YES, YOU'VE ANSWERED ALL MY
QUESTIONS, AND I AM PLEASED WITH
THE CUSTOMER SERVICE I'VE BEEN
PROVIDED!
[ ELECTRONIC WHOOSHING ]
YOU GUYS?
ARE YOU THERE?
>> WE'RE RIGHT HERE, DUDE.
DO YOU REMEMBER NOW?
>> YEAH, I REMEMBER.
I'M HEADING BACK TO THE ACCESS
POINT.
>> OH, MY GOSH.
LINDA.
>> WHAT IS IT, STEPHEN?
>> IT'S BUTTERS.
HE'S NOT GROUNDED ANYMORE.
>> HE'S NOT?
>> NO, I-I'VE GOT TO TELL HIM.
BUTTERS?
BUTTERS!
>> [ GROANS ]
>> YOU CAN GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY,
SON.
>> YOU -- Y-YOU MEAN...I'M NOT
GROUNDED?
>> NO.
I DON'T KNOW WHY OR HOW, BUT
IT'S OVER.
>> THEY DID IT!
THEY FIGURED IT OUT!
WHOOPEE!
>> ALL RIGHT, I'M NEARING
CHECKPOINT ALPHA.
YOU GUYS STILL THERE?
>> WE'RE HERE, DUDE.
JUST A LITTLE FURTHER, AND WE
CAN FINALLY END THIS.
>> OKAY, I'M BACK IN CARTMAN'S
ROOM.
>> ALL RIGHT, STAN, JUST SIT
DOWN AT THE COMPUTER.
>> ALL RIGHT, DUDE.
TAKE OFF THE HEADSET.
>> SO, ASIDE FROM ALL THE
BULLCRAP, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF
THE OCULUS?
>> IT'S PRETTY COOL...BUT THE
GRAPHICS SUCK.
>> FELLAS, I'M NOT GROUNDED
ANYMORE!
Grounded Vindaloop
s18e07 November 12, 2014
Butters is convinced he's living in a virtual reality.
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