- [yawns]

- YES, YES,THIS WHOLE COMING WEEK

IS THE JEWISH HOLIDAYOF PASSOVER!

YES, IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW MOSESLED THE HEBREWS OUT OF EGYPT.

VERY GOOD!

SO ON FRIDAY,ALL JEWISH PEOPLE

WILL CELEBRATE PASSOVERWITH A SEDER DINNER,

BECAUSE GOD COMMANDED THE JEWSTO ONLY EAT BREAD

THAT HASN'TBEEN GIVEN YEAST TO RISE.

- WOW, THAT'S SO COOL.

AND SO, THEN PASSOVERLASTS SEVEN DAYS?

- YES, YES, ONE WEEKFROM SEDER DINNER ON FRIDAY

TO THE NEXT FRIDAY.

- INTERESTING.

AND WHY IS ITCALLED PASSOVER AGAIN?

- WELL,BECAUSE IN ANCIENT EGYPT,

GOD PASSED OVER THE HOUSESMARKED WITH THE BLOOD OF A LAMB.

- SO INTERESTING.WOW.

- GET OUTTA HERE!

- OH, HEY, KYLE.

- GET OUTTA HERE!

- WELL, I BETTER BE GOING.

THANKS SO MUCH,MS. BROFLOVSKI.

I LEARNED A TON.

- WELL,YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

- ISN'T IT POSSIBLEI JUST WANTED TO LEARN MORE

ABOUT THE JEWISH FAITH?

- NO.

- ALL RIGHT, KYLE,LISTEN.

[sighs]

LEGENDS TELL

OF A HORRIFIC FOUR-LEGGEDCREATURE FROM MEXICO

THAT SUCKS THE BLOODOF GOATS,

AND IT MIGHT HAVE JUST BEENSPOTTED IN SOUTH PARK.

- WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DOWITH PASSOVER?

- ALL I CAN PROMISE YOU ISTHAT THIS IS GOING TO BE

THE MOSTMEMORABLE PASSOVER EVER.

CARTMAN'S PASSOVER HOLIDAY SPECIAL,

STARRING...

[dramatic music]

THE JEWPACABRA!

♪

♪

- ALL RIGHT,NEXT PLEASE.

SIGNING UPFOR THE EASTER EGG HUNT?

- OOH DA LOLLY!

THIS IS GONNA BESO MUCH FUN!

- YEAH, I CAN'T WAITFOR SUNDAY.

- ME TOO!

- YEAH. YEAH, SHOULD BEA REAL BLAST.

I JUST HOPEJEWPACABRA DOESN'T SHOW UP.

THAT'S ALL.

- JEWPA-WHAT?

- JEWPACA--LOOK, IT'S NOTHING.

FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.- OKAY.

SO ANYWAYS, ARE THEY SAYINGWHAT TIME THE EVENT STARTS?

- OKAY, LOOK, A LOT OF PEOPLECLAIM THAT ON PASSOVER,

A BLOOD-SUCKING CREATURECALLED THE JEWPACABRA

COMES OUT AND PREYSON CHILDREN.

THIS YEAR, PASSOVER HAPPENSTO BE THE SAME WEEK AS EASTER.

- YOU MEAN IT'S LIKE--LIKE A MONSTER?

- IT'S JUST A LEGEND,ALL RIGHT?

BUT PEOPLE ALL OVER TOWN HAVESTARTED REPORTED STRANGE THINGS.

KNOCKED OVER TRASH CANS,WEIRD HOWLS.

- NUH-UH.- YEAH-HUH, TOKEN!

DON'T THINK IT WON'TCOME AFTER YOU

JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE BLACK!

- YOU GUYS,CHECK THIS OUT!

[dramatic music]

- ALL RIGHT,ALL RIGHT, STAY BACK.

STAY BACK!

IT DEFINITELY LOOKSLIKE A JEWPACABRA ATTACK,

BUT IT'S HARD TO TELL.

- [screams]

- ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE'RE GONNANEED SOME VIDEO CAMERAS.

WE GOTTA GO OUT AT NIGHT

AND TRY TO GET PROOFOF THIS THING.

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!KNOCK IT OFF!

STOP SPREADING LIES!

- I'M TRYINGTO PROTECT PEOPLE!

AND WHY ARE YOU SO QUICK

TO TRY AND COVER UPJEWPACABRA'S EXISTENCE?

- I LOOKED ONTHE KNOWN SPECIES WEB PAGE.

THERE'S NO ANIMAL CALLED A"JEWPACABRA" MENTIONED ANYWHERE.

- WELL, NEITHER IS BIGFOOT,KYLE,

BUT THERE AREA LOT OF PEOPLE

WHO SAY THEY'VE SPOTTEDA SASQUATCH.

- IF SOMEONE SAYSTHEY SAW A SASQUATCH,

THEY ARE EITHER LYINGOR THEY ARE STUPID.

NOW STOP LYINGABOUT A JEWPACABRA

BEFORE STUPID PEOPLESTART BELIEVING YOU!

- ♪ LOO-LOO-LOO-LOO-LOO

N-NO SUCH THINGAS J-JEWPACABRA.

PEOPLE MADE IT UP.

[thunder]

IT'S--THAT'S OKAY.

EVEN IF THERE WASA JEWPACABRA,

IT COULDN'T GETIN MY R-ROOM ANYWAYS.

- BUTTERS.

- [screams]

- COME ON, BUTTERS,YOU AND ME

ARE GONNA TRY TO CATCHJEWPACABRA ON CAMERA.

- NO,IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT!

- BUTTERS DO YOU KNOWHOW MANY TIMES

JEWPACABRA HAS BEEN SHOTON VIDEO?

ZEEE-RO!

- [muttering]

- I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE.

PLEASE, HELP ME PROVETO THE REST OF THE WORLD

JEWPACABRA IS REAL.

[dramatic music]

LOOK AT THESEDENSE TREES AND BRUSH.

OH, YEAH, THIS IS EXACTLYTHE KIND OF FOREST

JEWPACABRA LIKESTO HIDE IN.

- YOU THINK JEWPACABRAIS HERE?

- I'M PRETTY SUREJEWPACABRA WAS HERE.

- OH, GOOD.MAYBE WE SCARED IT OFF.

- YOU CAN'T SCARE A JEWPACABRA,BUTTERS.

DON'T FORGET WE'RE DEALING WITHA CREATURE THAT DRINKS BLOOD,

HIDES IN THE NIGHT,AND HAS ABSOLUTELY NO BELIEF

IN THE DIVINITY OF CHRIST.

[rustling]DID YOU HEAR THAT?

I'M GONNA TRY A JEWPACABRAMATING CALL NOW.

NO CHRIST!NO CHRIST!

I'M REALLY NOT BUYINGTHIS WHOLE CHRIST THING!

HE'S HERE SOMEWHERE.

- OH, GOD, I'M SCARED.

- JESUS IS A LIE!

- ERIC, STOP IT!- SHH!

HELP ME CALL IT OUT,BUTTERS.

- I'M NOT SAYINGJESUS IS A LIE.

- BUTTERS, DO YOU WANNA CATCHJEWPACABRA ON CAMERA OR NOT?

THERE IS NO CHRIST!

- JESUS IS A LIE!

- NO WAY JESUS WAS SON OF GOD,HUH, BUTTERS?

- NOPE. I DON'T THINK CHRISTHAS ANY BASIS IN REALITY!

- SHH!YOU HEAR THAT?

- WE STARTED SOOPER FOODS

TO GIVE PEOPLEA PLACE TO BUY GROCERIES

THAT WAS FUN AND SAFE.

WE ARE NOT CANCELINGOUR EASTER EGG HUNT

BECAUSE OF SOME WILD STORY!

- I DIDN'T THINKYOU WOULD BELIEVE ME,

AND THAT'S WHY LAST NIGHT,I TOOK IT UPON MYSELF

TO GO OUT AND TRYTO CAPTURE IT ON VIDEO.

WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SHOW YOU

IS THE FIRST VIDEOEVER SHOT OF A JEWPACABRA,

AND YOU'RETHE FIRST TO SEE IT.

THIS IS JUST AFTER 8:00 P.M.

FIRST WE HEARD RUSTLINGIN THE BUSHES,

THEN A STRANGE, ANIMAL-LIKESCURRYING SOUND.

THAT'S WHEN WE SAW THIS.

OKAY, WAIT FOR IT.WAIT FOR IT.

WAIT FOR IT.

WAIT FOR IT.WAIT FOR IT.

RIGHT THERE!DID YOU SEE THE JEWPACABRA?

I KNOW,IT'S SO SHOCKING,

IT TAKES A MINUTEFOR YOUR BRAIN

TO PROCESSWHAT IT'S SEEING.

WATCH AGAIN.

WAIT FOR IT.WAIT FOR IT.

THERE!

JEWPACABRA.

THERE'S A JEWPACABRAIN SOUTH PARK.

GOD HELP US.

- THAT WASN'T A DOG?

- IT WAS NO DOG!I WAS THERE.

I'M TELLING YOU,THIS THING HAD NO IDEA

THAT JESUS CHRISTHAD DIED FOR OUR SINS.

- WHAT?

- I CAN TRY TO CATCH IT,

BUT I'M GONNA NEED

ALL THE RESOURCESYOU'VE GOT.

IF THIS THINGISN'T CONTAINED,

YOUR EASTER EGG HUNT ISGOING TO BE A BLOODBATH.

- MR. BILLINGS?

- THERE'S TWO THINGSTHAT SEPARATE SOOPER FOODS

FROM ALL THE OTHERGROCERY STORES--FUN AND SAFETY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, PETERS?

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES THATTHIS "JEWPACABRA" IS REAL?

- I'M ESTIMATINGSOMEWHERE AROUND

.000000001%.

- [sighs]

WE CAN'T AFFORDTO TAKE THAT CHANCE.

GET THIS KIDWHATEVER HE NEEDS.

♪

- SO, WHERE ARE WEHEADING FIRST?

- WE NEED TO GET TO THE CITYOF NASSAU IN THE BAHAMAS.

HERE.

- THE BAHAMAS?- THAT'S RIGHT.

THERE'S A RESORTNEAR THERE

CALLED THE ATLANTIS HOTELAND CASINO.

THEY HAVEA WATER SLIDE THERE

THAT GOES THROUGHA SHARK TANK.

WHEEEEEEEEEEE!

OH, YES!COOL!

CHECK IT OUT!

[laughs]

[dramatic rock music]

♪

- WHERE TO NOW?

- NOW WE HEADBACK TO COLORADO, HERE.

WE NEED TO GET MY VIDEOOF THE JEWPACABRA

INTO THE HANDS OF PROFESSIONALSWHO CAN ANALYZE IT.

- WOULD YOU STOP SCARINGEVERYONE

WITH YOUR DUMB-ASS MYTH?

- PEOPLE THOUGHT ATLANTISWAS A MYTH, KYLE,

BUT I WAS JUST THERE.

I'VE EXPLOREDTHE DEPTHS OF ATLANTIS,

AND NOW I'M ABOUTTO PROVE A NEW SPECIES EXISTS.

I'M A LITTLE JAMES CAMERON.

- THESE PEOPLEAREN'T GONNA PROVE ANYTHING.

TO BELIEVE ANY OF THIS,

YOU EITHER HAVE TO BEA LIAR OR STUPID.

- THESE AREPROFESSIONAL PEOPLE

WHO GO AROUND TRACKINGSASQUATCHES, KYLE!

THEY AREN'T LIARS,AND THEY AREN'T STUPID!

IT HEADS DIRECTLYTO THE RIGHT.

- IT CAN'T BE HUMAN.IT'S TOO LOW TO THE GROUND.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, BOBO?

- BOBO THINK SCARY!

- IT'S DEFINITELY SOMETHING.I'M THINKING A SASQUATCH.

- IT'S NOT BIG ENOUGHTO BE A SQUATCH.

- SO IT'S A BABY SQUATCH?

- THAT'S WHAT I'M THINKING.

- I'VE ALREADYDONE MY RESEARCH, BOYS.

WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT THEREIS A JEWPACABRA.

- JEWPACABRA?

- IT'S LIKE A SASQUATCH,

ONLY MORE ELUSIVE,MORE FEROCIOUS,

AND A LITTLE MORE GREEDY.

- OH, JEWPACABRA.THAT SOUNDS SCARY!

- BUT IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE.

IF WE RULE OUT A HUMANAND A BABY SASQUATCH,

JEWPACABRA ISALL WE REALLY HAVE LEFT.

- WELL, I GUESS THAT'S IT.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO ALLOWONLY ME

INTO THE EASTER EGG HUNT,SIR.

I'M THE ONLY ONE QUALIFIED.

- OH, THE KIDS WILL BESO DISAPPOINTED.

- WHOA, LOOK AT THIS!

I JUST DID THE HEAT-Y THERMALTHINGY TO THE VIDEO!

IT'S ALL ORANGE-Y!

- BUT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BEALL YELLOW-Y.

MY GOD! THIS REALLY IS PROOFOF A JEWPACABRA!

- HEH.WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- WE'VE NEVER SEEN THISBEFORE!

IT REALLY IS TRUE!

- WELL, I MEAN, IT COULD HAVEJUST BEEN A DOG.

- NO, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

LOOK AT THE ZOOM-Y IN.

IF I DROP AN IMAGE OF A DOGNEXT TO IT,

THAT THING IS WAY TOO BIGTO BE A DOG.

AND CHECK OUT THE THERMALSCOMING OFF OF IT.

- THAT'S THE THERMALS.

THEY MAKE THE PROOFAND THE THERMALS!

- THAT'S RIGHT, BOBO.

WHATEVER THIS THING IS,IT'S MEAN AND ANGRY AS HELL.

- WELL, COME ON, GUYS,IT'S PROBABLY A JEWPACABRA,

BUT THISISN'T DEFINITIVE.

- I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, KID,YOU'RE PRETTY BRAVE.

- WHY?

- 'CAUSE YOU TOOKTHE VIDEO OF THIS THING.

IT'S NOT GONNA LIKE THAT.

- IF IT IS A JEWPACABRA,

HE'S GONNA BECOMING AFTER YOU.

[thunder]- EH, EH, EH...

THERE'S NO WAY.

NO WAYJEWPACABRA IS REAL.

[thunder]

THOSE--THOSECRYPTOZOOLOGISTS

DON'T KNOW WHATTHEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.

THEY JUST--THEY JUST GAVE ME A CASE

OF THE HEBREW JEEBIES,THAT'S ALL.

EH...[groans]

[dialing phone number]

[phone ringing]

HEY, UH, JEWPACABRACAN'T BE REAL, RIGHT?

TELL ME AGAINWHY IT CAN'T BE REAL?

I MEAN, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE THATSOMETHING I MADE UP

COULD TURN OUT TO ACTUALLYEXIST, HUH, KYLE?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- OKAY, OKAY, EVEN IFTHERE WAS A JEWPACABRA,

IT WOULDN'T KNOW I WAS THE ONEWHO GOT VIDEO OF IT, HUH?

HOW COULD IT KNOW THAT?

IT COULDN'T KNOW THAT,RIGHT?

KYLE?

[phone beeps off]

[Michael Sembello's Maniac ringtone]

[clatter]

[dramatic music]

♪

- ♪ JESUS LOVES ME,THIS I KNOW ♪

♪ 'CAUSE REPUBLICANSTELL ME SO ♪

♪ LITTLE ONESGOD WILL PROTECT ♪

♪ 'CAUSE LETTING KIDS BE HARMEDIS CHILD NEGLECT ♪

EVERYTHING STILL CLEAROUT THERE?

GUYS?

- IT'S ALL QUIET OUT FRONT,ERIC.

- WELL, CHECK EVERYWHERE!

I'M NOT PAYING YOU GUYSEACH 20 BUCKS

TO SCRATCH YOUR BUTTHOLES!

- HE SAID HE'S NOT PAYIN' USTO SCRATCH OUR BUTTHOLES.

[clatter]

[all gasp]

[all scream]

- WHAT?WHAT WAS THAT?

BUTTERS?TOKEN?

[door rattling]

OH, JESUS CHRIST!

YOU GUYS?

[rattling]

[pounding]

AAH!

YOU GUYS?

GUYS!- HEY, ERIC.

- IT'S TRYING TO GET IN!WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?

- WELL, WE GOT SCARED, SO WE'RENEXT DOOR AT WINGSTREET.

- WINGSTREET?

- YEAH, WELL, IT WASTHE CLOSEST PLACE TO HIDE.

- DUDE, I WANT WINGS!

[pounding on door]

[screams]

OH, JESUS.IT'S ONLY YOU!

- ALL RIGHT, GRAB HIM.- HUH?

- YOU SAY THE JEWPACABRAHUNTS FOR ANYTHING EASTER,

AND NOWIT'S LOOKING FOR YOU.

- [struggling]

GET ME OUTTA HERE!

PLEASE!HELP!

- LOOK, WE'RE SORRY,

BUT IF IT'S YOUTHE JEWPACABRA WANTS,

WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.

- OH, GOD!IT'S GONNA KILL ME!

WHAT THE--

- JUST A LITTLE BLOODTO TRY AND DRAW IT OUT.

WE JUST CAN'T RISK THE CREATURESHOWING UP TOMORROW.

OUR ENTIRE BUSINESSIS BASED ON FUN AND SAFETY.

- THIS ISN'T SAFE OR FUN!

- MAYBE IT WON'T EVENSHOW UP.

MAYBE WE'LL ALLMAKE IT OUT OF THIS OKAY.

[animal howls]

OH, FUCK,WE BETTER GET OUT OF HERE.

- NO!COME BACK!

COME BACK, PLEASE!THIS ISN'T RIGHT!

[doorbell rings]

- HELLO, YOUNG MAN.

LET ME START OFF BY SAYING

SOOPER FOODS IS ABSOLUTELY NOTAN ANTI-SEMITIC COMPANY.

BUT IF YOUR PEOPLEDO HAVE A MONSTER CREATURE

THAT FEEDS ONEASTER CHILDREN,

WE JUST WANTEDTO LET YOU KNOW

THAT THERE'S A SACRIFICEFOR IT IN THE PARK

THAT IS TOTALLY FUNAND SAFE TO EAT.

THANK YOU.

- [crying]

KYLE!

HEY, KYLE!

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING,KYLE.

THAT, LIKE, THIS IS SOME KIND OFFITTING COMEUPPANCE.

- ADMIT YOU'RE LYING,AND I'LL LET YOU GO.

- OH, OF COURSE,I WAS LYING, KYLE.

THERE'S NO JEWPACABRA.

NOW, PLEASE, KYLE,IT'S EASTER EVE,

AND IF JEWPACABRA SMELLSTHIS BLOOD,

I AM IN A HEEB OF TROUBLE!

NO, KYLE!NO, WAIT!

I'M SORRY!I COULDN'T HELP IT!

KYLE? PLEASE!I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY!

I HAVE LOTS OF MONEY!

OH, GOD,WHAT AM I DOING?

I MEAN--I MEAN,I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!

I'M TOTALLY BROKE!

OH, GOD, I AM INA HEEB OF TROUBLE.

IT'S SO COOL THATEVEN THOUGH I'M CHRISTIAN,

I CELEBRATE PASSOVER TOO!

YEP.

I THINK BOTH HOLIDAYSARE AWESOME.

- [heavy breathing]

- I REALLY SYMPATHIZE WITHTHOSE JEWS IN ANCIENT EGYPT!

I REALLY DO!

- [heavy breathing]

- WHAT DO YOU THINK,BOBO?

- NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!

IT'S A 3-FOOT-TALLBUNNYMAN!

- I TOLD YOU!

BUNNY PEOPLE MUST BE A THROWBACKTO PALEOLITHARDIC TIMES!

SHOOT IT, BOBO!

- BOBO SHOOT IT!

- BOBO?BOBO, NO!

AH!WHA--

[groans]

- BOBO GOT IT!BOBO GOT THE BUNNYMAN!

- GOOD SHOT, BOBO!

- NOW WHAT DO WE DO?- I KNOW!

LET'S GO GET A SHOW ABOUT ITON ANIMAL PLANET!

- GOOD IDEA.WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

WE'RE GONNA NEEDTO TAKE THE EVIDENCE.

- ALL RIGHT.I GOT THE EVIDENCE RIGHT HERE.

THE DART GUN I SHOTTHE BUNNYMAN WITH!

- ALL RIGHT!

- COME ON, LET'S GO.

WHAT?

WHERE?

UGH.

UH, WHAT?

[people screaming]

WHAT'S GOING ON?

- THE PLAGUES!THE PLAGUES ARE UPON US! RUN!

[frogs croaking]

[people screaming]

- IT'S RAINING FROGS!

KYLE!KYLE, MY HEBREW FRIEND!

DID YOU SEETHAT IT'S RAINING FROGS?

- YES.

IT'S BECAUSE THE PHARAOH

WON'T GIVE THE HEBREWSWHAT WE WANT!

GOD IS ANGRY.

- SO GODMAKES IT RAIN FROGS?

THAT JUST SEEMS KIND OF MEANTO FROGS, KYLE.

- THAT'S HOW GOD IS!

AND IF PHARAOH DOESN'TGIVE US WHAT WE WANT,

NEXT HE'S GONNA KILL ALLEGYPTIAN FIRSTBORN BOYS!

- WHAT?OKAY, LOOK.

I'LL TALK TO THE PHARAOH

AND SEE IF HE'LL CHANGEHIS MIND.

- IT DOESN'T MATTER,BECAUSE GOD

IS GOING TO HARDENPHARAOH'S HEART!

- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

- IT MEANS JEHOVAHIS GOING TO USE HIS POWERS

TO KEEP THE PHARAOHFROM LETTING US GO!

- WELL, THAT DOESN'TSEEM VERY FAIR, KYLE.

I MEAN, IF GOD IS GOING TOMAKE PHARAOH SAY NO,

THEN WHY WOULDHE PUNISH HIM FOR SAYING NO?

- THAT'S JUST HOW GOD IS.

[thunder]

[frogs croaking]

- DAD, WHEN'S IT GONNA STOPRAINING FROGS?

- IT'LL BE OKAY, MY SON.

THE WEATHER WILL CLEAR.

- BUT MY FRIEND KYLE,HE SAYS

THAT THE REASON WE'VE HADALL THESE PLAGUES AND STUFF

IS 'CAUSE YOU WON'TLET ALL THE JEWS LEAVE.

- [sighs]

IT'S A COMPLICATEDPOLITICAL ISSUE, MY SON.

AN ECONOMIC SOCIAL ISSUETHAT NEEDS TIME.

WE CAN'T LET THEM LEAVE,

BUT IS IT REALLYALL THAT DIFFERENT

FROM WHEN THE NORTH DIDN'T LETTHE CONFEDERATE STATES

LEAVE THE USA?

- WOW, THAT MAKES SENSE.

DON'T THINK ANYONECAN DENY THAT.

- POOR FROGS.

I FEEL SO BADLY FOR THEM.

- BUT DAD,MY FRIEND KYLE SAYS

THAT IF WE DON'T DO WHATEVERTHE HEBREWS WANT US TO DO,

GOD IS GONNA KILLLITTLE EGYPTIAN BOYS.

- OH, I DON'T THINK GOD WOULD DOSUCH A THING, LITTLE ONE.

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,WE CAN'T LET OURSELVES

BELIEVE IN THE HEBREW VERSIONOF GOD.

WE BELIEVE IN A JUST LORD

WHO WOULD NEVERMURDER INNOCENT CHILDREN.

- I LOVE YOU, DAD.

- AND I LOVE YOU, SON.

AND OUR LOVE GROWS.

- ♪ AND OUR LOVE GROWS

both:♪ AND OUR LOVE GROWS

♪ LIKE THE MIGHTY RIVEROF THE NILE ♪

- ♪ RIVER OF THE NILE

- ♪ SEE IT FLOW

- ♪ IT FLOW

both:♪ WE'LL NEVER BE APART

- ♪ HAVE NO FEAR,FOR GOD IS NEAR ♪

♪ AND GOD LOVESALL HIS CHILDREN ♪

[lamb bleats]

HUH?

NOOOOOOO!

KYLE, WHY?WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- THIS IS WHAT GODTOLD US TO DO!

- NO, KYLE!I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!

- YOU'LL SEE!

[lambs bleating]

- NOOOOOOO!

- WHAT'S HAPPENING TO US?[retches]

- [retches]

- NOOOOO!

- MOM!DON'T LET GOD KILL ME!

- [screams and cries]

- NO!NOOO!

- CARE FOR A PEANUT BUTTERAND JELLY SANDWICH?

- NOOO!THE BREAD'S ALL FLAT!

NOOOO!NOOOO!

- AAH!

- SON, WE WERE WRONG!

I WAS WRONG!

- WE WERE WRONG!

I'M SORRY, GOD!I'LL BE JEWISH, I PROMISE!

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!DON'T KILL ME!

NOOOOOO!

- [crying]

- NO! NO!

THE BREAD,IT'S--IT'S ALL FLAT!

[tranquil music]

♪

- [sighs]

- [weakly] NOOOOOO!NOOOO!

- THERE ARE TWO THINGSPEOPLE THINK ABOUT

WHEN THEY ARE GROCERY SHOPPING--FUN AND SAFETY.

ON THIS BEAUTIFULEASTER MORNING,

WE ARE THRILLED TO GIVE BACKTO THE PEOPLE OF SOUTH PARK,

WHO, FOR THE THIRD YEARIN A ROW,

HAVE MADE OUR GROCERY STORENUMBER FOUR IN FUN

AND NUMBER SIX IN SAFETY.

LET THE HUNT BEGIN!

[overlapping chatter]

- I'M ALIVE!

[panting]I'M ALIVE, YOU GUYS!

I DON'T KNOW HOW,BUT I'M ALIVE!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?IT'S A MIRACLE!

LISTEN, EVERYBODY,LAST NIGHT I ALMOST DIED,

BUT THEN A PASSOVERMIRACLE HAPPENED.

THE JEWPACABRAPASSED ME OVER,

AND BY THE POWEROF JEHOVAH,

I SOMEHOW WOKE UPSAFELY IN MY BED.

I LEARNED A BIG LESSON.

IT'S WRONG, GUYS.

CHRIST DIDN'T DIE FOR OUR SINS,AND GOD IS ANGRY.

IT'S TIME FOR US ALL TO STOPTHIS EASTER RIDICULOUSNESS,

ACCEPT JEHOVAH AS OUR GOD,AND DENY CHRIST.

- AW, STOP TRYIN' TO RUINEASTER, YOU--YOU HEATHEN!

- YEAH!- THAT'S RIGHT!

- GET OUTTA HERE!

- NO, YOU GUYS.LISTEN!

[overlapping chatter]

[sighs]

I FINALLY KNOWHOW YOU FEEL, KYLE,

KNOWING YOUR RELIGIONIS RIGHT

BUT BEING LAUGHED ATBY EVERYONE ELSE.

IT'S SO HARD FOR US JEWS.

BUT I GUESS WE JUST HAVE TOLET STUPID PEOPLE BELIEVE

WHAT THEY'RE GONNA BELIEVE.

- YEAH.

- I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING,KYLE,

BUT I REALLY DO BELIEVEIN JUDAISM NOW.

I'M NOT LYING.

- I KNOW YOU'RE NOT.

- COOL.THANKS, KYLE.

OH, AND KYLE,

HAPPY PASSOVER.

- HAPPY PASSOVER, CARTMAN.