- ♪ WE'RE GOIN' TOTHE WATER PARK ♪

♪ THE WATER PARK,THE WATER PARK ♪

♪ WE'RE GOING TOTHE WATER PARK ♪

♪ ME AND ALL MY BEST FRIENDS

♪ EXCEPT FOR KYLE,WHO I DON'T LIKE ♪

- OKAY, CARTMAN,YOU CAN STOP SINGING NOW.

- THIS IS GONNA BESO AWESOME, DUDE.

I HAVEN'T BEEN TO THE WATERPARK IN LIKE OVER A YEAR!

- WHAT DO YOU GUYSWANNA DO FIRST?

I HEAR THEY HAVEA NEW INNER TUBE SLIDE.

- NO, DUDE, WE GOTTA GO TOTHE WAVE POOL FIRST!

IT'S SO DOPE.

AS LONG AS THERE AREN'TANY MINORITIES.

- WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT, ERIC?

- YOU KNOW, THERE'S ALWAYSLIKE FIVE OR SIX

MINORITIES WEARING THEIRT-SHIRTS IN THE WAVE POOL.

PISSES ME OFF.

- WE'RE HERE!IT'S THE WATER PARK!

[triumphant music]

- I'M GONNA PICK YOU BOYS UPRIGHT HERE

AT 4:00, YOU GOT IT?

- COME ON, LET'S GO!- WE GOT IT, DAD.

- SIX ADORABLE CHILDREN,PLEASE!

WAVE POOL! WAVE POOL!

WAVE POOL!

OH, WHAT THE HELL?

[people cheering]

- ALL RIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU GUYSWANNA RIDE FIRST?

- WELL, CARTMAN SAID HE WANTEDTO DO THE WAVE POOL FIRST,

RIGHT, CARTMAN?

- FORGET IT.JUST FORGET IT!

- DUDE, THIS IS AWESOME!

- YOU GUYS WANNA SEE

HOW LONG I CAN HOLD MY BREATHUNDER WATER?

- HEY, FELLAS!FELLAS, HANG ON.

I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM.

- OKAY. GO AHEAD.- OKAY. THANKS!

- I CAN SERIOUSLY HOLD MY BREATHLONGER THAN ANYBODY.

SOMEBODY TIME ME,ALL RIGHT?

- OKAY.- ALL RIGHT, CHECK IT OUT--

BUTTERS--BUTTERS!WHAT THE FUCK?

ARE YOU PEEING IN THE POOL?

- YOU SAID GO AHEAD!

- COME ON, KYLE.LET'S CHECK OUT THE FIREBOATS.

- NO, DUDE.BUTTERS' PEE IS IN THERE!

- AW, COME ON.LOOK AT ALL THIS WATER.

IT DOESN'T MATTERIF ONE PERSON PEES IN IT.

- YEAH, COME ON, KYLE.

I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON HEREWHO'S PEED IN THE POOL.

LOTS A PEOPLE DO.

- NO, THEY DON'T.- YEAH, THEY DO, KYLE.

- TO BE PERFECTLY FRANK,

I PEED IN THE POOLABOUT 25 SECONDS AGO.

- DUDE!

- COME ON, SHOW US HOW LONG YOUCAN HOLD YOUR BREATH!

- NO!

- ♪ WHAT HAS HAPPENEDTO THIS PLACE? ♪

♪ I DON'T RECOGNIZE ITANYMORE ♪

♪ IT USED TO BESO FUN AND SPECIAL ♪

♪ WHAT IS LIFEWORTH LIVING FOR? ♪

♪ THE DREAM IS DEAD,OUR LAND IS GONE ♪

♪ THERE'S A HOLE IN MY HEARTAND I CAN'T GO ON ♪

♪ THERE ARETOO MANY MINORITIES ♪

♪ MINORITIES

♪ AT MY WATER PARK

♪ MY WATER PARK

♪ THIS WAS OUR LAND,OUR DREAM ♪

♪ OUR DREAM

♪ AND THEY'VE TAKEN ITALL AWAY ♪

♪ THEY JUST KEEPCOMING AND COMING ♪

♪ MINORITIES

♪ I TRIED TO GOAND TELL THE POLICE ♪

♪ BUT EVEN THE AUTHORITIES

♪ ARE MINORITIES

♪ AT MY WATER PARK

♪

♪ THERE'S NO PLACE FOR METO SIT ANYMORE ♪

♪ AND THE LINES JUST KEEPGETTING CRAZIER ♪

♪ THERE ARE MEXICANSALL AROUND ME ♪

♪ THE LAZY RIVERHAS NEVER BEEN LAZIER ♪

♪ IT'S A 40-MINUTE WAITTO GO DOWN ONE SLIDE ♪

♪ AND THE INSTRUCTIONSARE IN SPANISH ♪

♪ ON THE ZIPLINE RIDE

- GUARDE SUS BRAZOS Y PIERNAS DENTRO DEL PASEO--

- JUST DO IT IN ENGLISH!

♪ THERE ARETOO MANY MINORITIES ♪

♪ TOO MANY

♪ AT MY WATER PARK

♪ SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING

♪ WHERE DID THEYALL COME FROM? ♪

♪ WHY CAN'T THEY LEAVETHIS LAND ALONE? ♪

♪ AND IT'S SUCH A TRAGEDY

♪ FEEL A BIT LIKE DYING

♪ WE'VE LOOKEDTHE OTHER WAY TOO LONG ♪

♪ WE'VE GOT TO CHANGEOUR PRIORITIES ♪

♪ AND GETALL THESE MINORITIES ♪

♪ OUT OF MY WATER PARK

♪ MINORITIES

♪ MEXICANS AND ASIANS

♪ BLACK PEOPLE

♪ I THINK I EVEN SAWNATIVE AMERICAN ♪

♪ GROSS

♪ GOD, I'M ASKING PLEASE

♪ GET ALL OFTHESE MINORITIES ♪

♪ OUT OF MY WATER PARK

♪ MY WATER PARK

- YOU BET.

- I'M NOT GETTING BACKIN THE WATER.

- OH, COME ON, KYLE.

- DUDE, I JUST FOUND OUT THATEVERYBODY PEES IN POOLS.

WHY WOULD I GO BACK?

- NOT EVERYBODY PEES IN POOLS.

- DO YOU PEE IN THE POOL?

- NOT TODAY--YET.

- AW, COME ON!

- WELL DUDE,WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

JUST HANG OUT HEREAT THE TABLE ALL DAY?

- MOST LIKELY.- YOU GUYS!

YOU GUYS, WE HAVE GOT PROBLEMSOF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS!

- DUDE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?- I'VE BEEN COUNTING.

DO YOU KNOWTHERE 205 MEXICANS HERE?

AND THERE ARE190 BLACK PEOPLE.

- SO WHAT?

- SO...

GUESS HOW MANY WHITE PEOPLEARE AT THE WATER PARK TODAY?

143.

THERE ARE ACTUALLY MOREMINORITIES HERE THAN US.

- WELL, THEN THEY'RE NOTMINORITIES, ARE THEY?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- DUMB ASS, IF THERE'S60% OF THEM TO 40% OF US,

THEN WHO'S THE MINORITY?

- THE BLACK AND BROWN PEOPLE.

- NO, YOU'RE THE MINORITY!

- DO I LOOK LIKE A MINORITYTO YOU, STUPID?

NOW LOOK, GUYS, I DIDSOME CALCULATIONS.

JUST LAST YEAR THERE WEREALMOST 90% NORMAL PEOPLE

TO MINORITIES.

THAT'S A 50% RISEIN ONE YEAR.

- THIS IS MORE MATHTHAN I'VE EVER SEEN YOU DO.

- BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT!

A 50% RISE EACH YEARMEANS THAT IN THREE YEARS

THE WORLD WILL BE ONLYMINORITIES.

THAT'S 2012.THE MAYANS PREDICTED THIS!

- THE WHO?!- THE MAYANS.

THEY KNEW THAT MINORITIESWOULD TAKE OVER THE WORLD

BY THE YEAR 2012.

AND NOW IT'S HAPPENING!

- I'M GONNA GOON THE SLIDES.

- WHOOPEE!- YOU GUYS?

YOU GUYS, WE HAVE TO DOSOMETHING TO STOP THIS!

COME ON!

WELL, LOOKS LIKE AT LEASTYOU'VE GOT SOME SENSE

LEFT IN YOU, KYLE.

SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DOTO KEEP THE MAYANS PREDICTION

FROM COMING TRUE, BUDDY?

- BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS,CARTMAN.

- EUGENE!THAT IS DISGUSTING!

DID YOU JUST PEEIN THE POOL?

- OH, COME ON!LOOK HOW BIG THIS POOL IS.

ONE PERSON PEEING IN IT ISN'TGOING TO HURT ANYTHING.

- EWW!

- OH, MY GOD!

- [Italian accent]AH, GENTLEMEN!

I AM WITH THE PI PI.

HOW CAN I A HELP YOU?

- PI PI, WE HAVESOME DIRE NEWS

CONCERNING YOUR WATER PARK.

- I'VE JUST FINISHEDSOME TESTS.

THE WATER IN YOUR PARKIS NOW 98% PEE.

- YES, SO WHAT'STHE PROBLEM?

- PI PI, YOU KNOWTHAT ACCEPTABLE PEE LEVELS

IN ANY WATER PARK IS 83%.

YOU HAVE TO SHUT DOWN.

- WHAT?I CAN'T-A CLOSE DOWN NOW.

IT'S MY BIGGEST-A WEEKEND!

EVERYONE IS HAVING THE FUN!

- YOU'RE ENDANGERINGPEOPLES' LIVES.

IF THOSE PEE LEVELS HIT 100%,

THERE'S NO TELLINGWHAT'LL HAPPEN!

- AND WHAT PROOFDO YOU HAVE

THAT THE PEE LEVELSWILL GO UP?

- ONE IN THREE PEOPLEADMIT THEY PEE IN POOLS.

ADD ANOTHER FOR PEOPLEWHO DO BUT DON'T ADMIT IT,

THAT'S TWO IN THREE.

YOU'VE GOT JUST OVER500 PEOPLE OUT THERE.

THAT'S 332 PEOPLEABOUT TO PEE IN YOUR WATER!

- GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.I COME FROM THE VENICE.

VENICE IS ALMOST ALL PEE,

AND WE DO JUST FINE.

WE SWIM-A IN THE PEE,WE SING-A IN THE PEE.

YOU CAN'T-A BARGE IN HEREAND TELL ME

THAT I HAVE TO CLOSE DOWN

JUST BECAUSE MY WATER PARKHAS-A TOO MUCH PEE.

- YOU HAVE TOEVACUATE PEOPLE NOW.

- HE SAIDHE'S NOT DOING IT!

AND AS HIS LAWYER, I ADVISEYOU GENTLEMEN TO LEAVE

AND TAKE YOUR WILDPEE THEORIES WITH YOU.

- IF ONE MORE PERSON URINATESIN YOUR POOL,

IT COULD SET OFFA CHAIN REACTION.

THEN THE PEEWILL BE ON YOUR HANDS.

- THIS IS SWEET,HUH, KENNY?

[harp strumming]

[rumbling]

- W-WHAT'S THAT?

[people screaming]

- AHH!

[woman screaming]

- IT'S PEE!

- LOOK OUT FOR THE PEE!

- AAH! GROSS!

- AAH!

IT'S THE PEEEEE!

- UGH!

- AAH!

OH, MY GOD.THEY KILLED KENNY!

- AW, SICK!

- I WANTTHAT ENTIRE WATER PARK

CONTAINED AND QUARANTINEDUNTIL I GET SOME ANSWERS!

[tires squeal]

- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- I TOLD YOU PEOPLE TO KEEPCIVILIANS BACK!

- SIR, PLEASE,MY SON IS IN THERE!

WHAT'S HAPPENED?

- WE DON'T KNOW YET,ALL RIGHT?

THERE'S BEEN A PEE BREACHAND LOT OF PEOPLE ARE DEAD.

NOW, I'M SORRY,BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO--

- CAPTAIN, THESE TWO MEN CLAIMTO KNOW THE SITUATION.

- WE WARNED THE OWNEROF THE PARK,

BUT HE REFUSED TO SHUT DOWN.

THIS WAS INEVITABLE.

- SO THIS IS ALL PEE-RELATED?- YES.

I TESTED THE PH LEVELSTHIS MORNING.

- AND?

- IT WAS ALMOST ALL PEE,NO H.

- OH, MY GOD.I'VE GOTTA HELP HIM!

- STAY BACK!

- YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE MY SONIN THERE WITH ALL THAT PEE!

- SIR, IT'S POSSIBLEWITH A CRANE

WE COULD HELPANY SURVIVORS OUT.

- I THINK THAT WOULD BEA VERY BAD IDEA.

- AND WHY IS THAT?

- ANYONE INSIDE THEREIS CONTAMINATED.

WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVETHAT WHEN PEOPLE ARE EXPOSED

TO THAT MUCH PEE,THEY...CHANGE.

- CHANGE HOW?

- ALL RIGHT, BRING IN--BRING IN THE MONKEY.

[monkey chattering]

- WE'VE ONLY TESTED THE THEORYON MONKEYS SO FAR.

THIS MONKEY IS HEALTHYAND NORMAL IN EVERY WAY.

BUT NOW WATCH.

[monkey screeching]

- MY GOD, HE'S BECOMEFULL OF RAGE!

- KYLE, QUICK!YOU GOTTA SWIM OVER TO US!

- NO WAY!

- YOU GOTTA SWIMOVER HERE, KYLE!

- COME ON, KYLE!- DUDE, THAT'S ALL PEE!

- WELL, IF YOU DON'TSWIM IN IT, YOU'RE GONNA DIE!

- I'LL DIEIF I DO SWIM IN IT!

- KYLE, IT'S JUST PEE.IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.

- YES, IT IS A BIG DEAL!

WHY DO YOU THINKEVERYONE WASHES THEIR HANDS

AFTER THEY GOTO THE BATHROOM?

- WELL, NOT EVERYONEWASHES THEIR HANDS

AFTER THEY GOTO THE BATHROOM.

- WHAT?

- COME ON, DUDE,YOU GOTTA SWIM.

- YOU DON'T WASH YOUR HANDSAFTER GOING TO THE BATHROOM?

- NOT...ALL THE TIME.

- THAT IS GROSS!

- WHY? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'REPEEING ON YOUR HANDS!

THERE'S MORE GERMS ON MOSTFURNITURE THAN THERE IS IN PEE.

- YEAH, IF ANYTHING,YOU SHOULD WASH YOUR HANDS

BEFORE YOU TOUCHYOUR WIENER.

- KYLE, COME ON!

- AH, GODDAMN IT.

AHH! OH! AHH!

[groaning and moaning]

[breathing heavily]

- DO YOU NEED TO WASHYOUR HANDS?

- I CAN'T HOLD ON--HELP!

HELP!

- HERE!HEY, KID, GRAB THIS STICK!

- YES! YES, HELP ME!

YES, HELP ME!I'M JUST A LITTLE BOY!

YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!

[grunting]

OH! AHH! OH.

- ARE YOU OKAY?

- HA. YES. THANK YOU.

- WELL, WHAT ARE WEGONNA DO WE DO NOW?

- WE'VE GOTTA JUSTWAIT IT OUT.

- YEAH, BUT FOR HOW LONG?

- WE NEED TO FIND SOMETHINGTO PADDLE WITH.

- DAY ONE.IT HAS HAPPENED.

THE MAYANS WERE RIGHT.

ONLY THING THEY GOT WRONGWAS THE DATE.

IT IS 2009,

AND I APPEAR TO BE THE LASTOF MY SPECIES ALIVE.

NOW IT'S JUST ME ALL ALONEWITH MINORITIES.

WHAT WILL THE MINORITIESDO WITH ME?

I'M SURE THAT'S WHAT'SON ALL THEIR MINDS.

I HAVE TO MAKE MYSELF SEEMUSEFUL TO THEM,

OR THEY WILL SURELYNOT LET ME LIVE.

AHEM. DOES ANYONE NEEDMEDICAL HELP?

I AM A DOCTOR.

I CAN'T UNDERSTANDWHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

- IT'S THE PEE!

IT'S ALL PEEAND NOBODY CAN GO IN OR OUT!

- WHAT IS ALL PEE?

- SHARON, THE WATER PARKHAD A PEE MELTDOWN!

THEY THINK A LOT OF PEOPLEHAVE DIED.

- WHAT? WHAT ABOUT STAN?IS HE OKAY?

- I DON'T KNOW!

THE WHOLE WATER PARKHAS BEEN QUARANTINED!

THEY'RE WORRIED ANYONE LEFTALIVE COULD BE...

SOME KIND OF RAGINGHATE-FILLED MUTANTS!

- RANDY, YOU'VE GOT TO DOSOMETHING!

- CALM DOWN, SHARON!ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN!

THEY'RE TRYING TO FINDAN ANTIDOTE.

ONCE THEY BELIEVETHEY CAN NEUTRALIZE

THE ENRAGING EFFECTSOF THE PEE,

THEY'LL GO IN TO LOOKFOR SURVIVORS.

- I SAID KEEP THE MEDIA OUT.

IF THE PUBLIC HEARSABOUT THIS,

WE'LL HAVE A FULL-SCALE PANICON OUR HANDS.

DAMN IT!WHERE IS THAT ANTIDOTE?

- HERE! HERE!WE THINK WE HAVE IT, SIR!

IT'S THE BEST WE COULD COME UPWITH IN SUCH A SHORT TIME.

- WE AREN'T SUREOF THE RAMIFICATIONS,

BUT IT DOES APPEARTO NEUTRALIZE

SOME PARTICLES OF THE URINE.

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S TEST IT.BRING IN THE MONKEYS!

[monkeys chattering]

- LET'S HOPE TO CHRISTTHIS WORKS.

[monkeys screeching]

- NO, DAMN IT NO!

- THEY'RE STILL ANGRY.

- THIS ONE'S REALLY ANGRY.

- IT'S OUT OF CONTROL!

FIND AN ANTIDOTETHAT WORKS!

- I DON'T KNOW.

- [sobbing] OH, WHY...

WHY DIDN'T PI PI LISTEN?

THEY TRIED TO WARN-A THE PI PI,BUT THE PI PI NOT BELIEVE THEM!

- WHO ARE YOU?

- OH, I SO SORRY!THIS ALL MY FAULT!

I SHOULD HAVE SHUTMY WATER PARK DOWN

WHEN IT REACHED 90% PEE!

- YEAH, WELL,PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW

THAT PEEING IN POOLS IS BAD!

- BUT WAIT!

MAYBE YOU BOYSCAN-A HELP PI PI!

IN THE MAINTENANCE ROOM,

THERE'S THE EMERGENCYRELEASE VALVE!

IF YOU OPEN IT,ALL THIS PEE CAN-A BE LOWERED!

- OKAY! WHERE'STHE MAINTENANCE ROOM?

- THAT IS-A THE PROBLEM.

THE MAINTENANCE ROOM IS-A WAYDOWN ON THE BASEMENT LEVEL.

I WOULD DO IT, BUT THE PI PI ISA NO GOOD AT THE SWIMMING.

SOMEBODY WILL HAVE TODIVE DOWN INTO THE PEE

THEN STAY THERE TO TURNTHE RELEASE WHEEL.

SO...WHO CAN HOLDTHEIR BREATH THE LONGEST?

- NO!

- YOU SAID YOU CAN HOLDYOUR BREATH THE LONGEST, KYLE.

- NOT IN PEE!- PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO HURRY.

I'LL DRAW YOU THE MAPAND A INSTRUCTIONS

HOW TO SHUT OFFTHE VALVE.

IT'LL BE AS EASY AS-A PEEINGIN THE SHOWER!

- OH, WHO PEESIN THE SHOWER?

- WELL, IT'S NOT LIKEIF YOU SUDDENLY HAVE TO PEE

YOU'RE GONNA GETOUT OF THE SHOWER.

- YEAH, SEEINGALL THAT RUNNING WATER

ALWAYS MAKES ME NEED TO PEE.

- YOU DON'T PEEIN THE SHOWER, DUDE!

THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING!

- BOYS, PLEASE!

WE'VE GOT TO GET THIS BOYTO THAT DRAINAGE VALVE

OR WE'RE ALL-A GONNA DIE!

- JESUS CHRIST!

- IT HAS BEEN MANY, MANY HOURSSINCE THE APOCALYPSE,

AND ALL I KEEP THINKING ISWHY ME?

WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE OF MY RACEGOD CHOSE TO SURVIVE

IN THISMINORITY-RUN WORLD?

WHEN THE SMOKE HAS CLEARED,

I'M SURE THE MINORITIESWILL START REBUILDING--

BUILDING THE WORLDIN THEIR WAY.

I CAN SEE IT NOW.

[softly] NOOO...

- ALRIGHT, ERIC CARTMAN.

LET'S HEAR YOUR BOOK REPORT.

- I READ TREASURE ISLAND BECAUSE I WAS SO HAPPY

WHEN I SAW THAT MOVIE.

- HEY!

YOU'RE LIVING IN A MINORITYSPEAKING COUNTRY NOW.

SAY IT RIGHT.

- BECAUSE I WAS SO HAPPYWHEN I SEEN THAT MOVIE.

- GOOD.

- [softly] NOOOO...

TRYING TO FIND A JOB WILL BEEVEN HARDER.

- YOU DON'T EXPECT TO MAKETHE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY

THAT MINORITIES MAKE,DO YOU?

- WELL, I DO JUST AS MUCHWORK...

- HA, HA.YOU'RE TRASH AROUND HERE.

YOU'LL NEVER MAKE AS MUCHAS A MINORITY.

- [softly] NOOO...

EVENTUALLY THE MINORITIES WILLDO AWAY WITH ME ALL TOGETHER.

- ALL THOSE IN FAVOR OF PUTTINGWHITE PEOPLE IN CAMPS?

all: AYE!

- ALL THOSE OPPOSED?

- [softly] NOOOOO...

- THE MINORITIES WIN!

- NO!

NO, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN YOURWORLD, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

YOUR WORLD IS COLD AND VOIDOF ANY HUMANITY!

- JUST KILL ME.KILL ME NOW!

DO IT!

- OKAY, THERE.

NOW IF YOU RUN INTOANY PROBLEMS,

YOU JUST TUG-A THREE TIMESON THE CABLE

AND-A PI PI WILL A-PULLYOU BACK-A TO THE SURFACE.

- LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH.

- YOU GOT-A THE MAP-AAND PI PI'S INSTRUCTIONS.

- YES.- GOOD.

NOW JUST-A ONE LAST THING.

YOU NEED TO DRINK SOME-A PEE.

- WHAT?

- YOU JUST NEED TO DRINK ABOUT-ATHREE CUPS-A PEE.

- WHY?

- YOU SWIM-A DOWN DEEP IN THEPEE, YOU GET-A THE PRESSURE.

THE BENZ-A!

YOU HAVE TO FILL THE INSIDE OFYOUR BODY WITH SOME-A PEE

TO COMPENSATE.

- THAT'S TRUE, DUDE.DIDN'T YOU SEE THE ABYSS?

- I AM NOT-- NOT DRINKING PEE.

- BUT ONLY YOU CAN HOLD-A THEBREATH-A LONG TIME TO SWIM-A

DOWN AND RELEASE-A THE VALVEAND IF YOU GET TO THE BENZ-A

AND YOU FAIL,WE ALL A DIE!

- JUST DRINK THE PEE, KYLE.

- PLEASE, KYLE.I WANNA GO HOME!

- WHAT'S-A THE PROBLEM?

WHEN-A YOU PEE, EITHER IN THETOILET OR IN THE SHOWER,

IT ALL GOES TO THE SEWER.

THE SEWER ALL GOES-ATO THE OCEAN.

THE OCEAN IS THE WATERWE ALL-A DRINK.

YOU ARE ALWAYS DRINKINGTHE PEE!

- THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEELBETTER!

I WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLETO KEEP IT DOWN!

- SURE YOU WILL!

YOU DRANK ONLY PEE FOR NINEMONTHS WHEN YOU LIVED

IN YOUR MOTHER'S-A BELLY!

- NO!

I NEED TO SPEAK TOTHE FIRE MARSHAL!

SIR!

SIR, I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONEWITH MY COLLEAGUES

AT THE UNIVERSITY.

THEY'VE ALSO BEEN TESTINGANTIDOTES ON MONKEYS.

THEY'RE CLAIMING THAT THEY HAVEHAD SUCCESS

USING SIMPLE MUSA ACUMINATA.

- WAIT.YOU MEAN A BANANA.

- YES.

- IS IT POSSIBLE

THE ANTIDOTE IS SOMETHINGAS SIMPLE AS A BANANA?

GET ANOTHER MONKEY!

- ALL RIGHT, CONNERS.

[monkey chattering]

- HOLY GOD.IT WORKS!

- ALL RIGHT.LET'S START MOVING IN, EVERYONE!

CHECK FOR--- HOLD ON!

IT IS A PROMISING LEAD BUT THISANTIDOTE HASN'T YET BEEN TESTED

ON A HUMAN.

- I'LL DO IT.

YOU CAN TEST THE ANTIDOTEON ME.

- YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?

- GIVE ME THE BANANA.

UGH...

OHH...

AGH...

URGHGHGH...

OGHGGHGH!!!

- HE LOOKS AGITATED.

- AGHGH...

AHGHG! AHGHGGH!

- HE'S LOSIN' IT!STEVENS, YOUR GUN!

- NO! WAIT!WAIT.

- UGH.

I--I'M OKAY.

- HE'S ALRIGHT!

- THE BANANA WORKED!

- WELL,IT'S PROBABLY B-B-BETTER

IF YOU DON'T THINKABOUT IT, KYLE.

- THERE'S NO MORE TIME-A!YOU HAVE TO DRINK THE PEE NOW!

- AGH, AHGHGH!

- COME ON, YOU HAVETO DRINK ALL-A THE PEE!

- YOU CAN DO IT, KYLE!

- AHGHG!

AHGHGHGGH!

- ALRIGHT-A!

NOW YOU CAN OPENTHE RELEASE-A VALVE.

OKAY, SO LET'S-A--

- HEY, LOOK!

- STAN!

- ALRIGHT, THEY FINALLY CAMEFOR US!

- ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

[cheering]

- WAIT HERE A MINUTE, STAN.I'M GOING TO CALL YOUR MOTHER.

- GUYS! GUYS!

OH, IT'S TRUE!YOU ALL DID SURVIVE!

- AWW, YOU LIVED?

- OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS!

I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLYNON-MINORITY ON EARTH!

HOW MANY OF OUR SPECIESSURVIVED?

- THAT WASN'T A MAYANAPOCALYPSE, YOU RACIST IDIOT!

- IT WASN'T?SO THEN YOU MEAN...

WE DO HAVE UNTIL 2012.

WELL, IT MAY BE ONLY THREEYEARS, BUT I INTEND TO LIVE

THOSE PRECIOUS YEARSTO THE FULLEST!

- WILL SOMEBODY JUST GET METO A HOSPITAL?

I NEED TO GET MY STOMACH PUMPED!

- AW, COME ON.IT WAS JUST A LITTLE PEE, KYLE.

- GOD DAMMIT,DON'T YOU GET IT?

I HATE PEE!I'M GROSSED OUT BY PEE!

THE ONLY THING I FIND MOREDISGUSTING THAN PEE IS BANANAS!

- ALRIGHT EVERYONE, QUICK!HERE YOU GO!

- WHAT'S THIS?

- YOU ALL NEED TO EAT YOURBANANA IMMEDIATELY!

- WHAT THE HELL FOR?

- EAT YOUR BANANA OR WE WILLHAVE TO PUT YOU DOWN!

- AAHGHGHGHGH!