- ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE.

WELCOME TOTHE DOLPHIN ENCOUNTER

HERE AT THE DENVER AQUARIUM.

MY NAME IS CHAD, AND I'LLBE YOUR GUIDE AND TRAINER

AS YOU MEET THESE INTELLIGENTAND TRULY MAGICAL CREATURES.

AND HERE THEY COME.

THIS IS TRIGGER AND DOLLY.THERE'S BUBBLES.

- WOW!COOL!

- PRETTY NEAT BIRTHDAY,HUH, STAN?

- YEAH, THIS IS GONNABE AWESOME!

- IF THEY COME NEAR YOU,YOU CAN TOUCH THEIR BACKS.

JUST NO GRABBING PLEASE.

WHAT WHIMSICAL CREATURES,AREN'T THEY?

ALL THE DOLPHINS YOU WILLBE ENCOUNTERING TODAY

ARE ATLANTIC BOTTLENOSEDOLPHINS.

NOW WHO WOULD LIKETO GET A KISS FROM ONE?

- I WOULD LIKE--- ME, ME, ME!

I WANT TO KISS IT!I WANT TO KISS IT!

- UH, ALL RIGHT.

LET'S JUST GET YOU TO PUT YOURHANDS PALMS-DOWN IN THE WATER.

[charging yell]

- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

[charging yell]

- OH, NO.IT'S THE JAPANESE!

[angry yelling]

- FUCK YOU, DOLPHIN!

- FUCK YOU, DOLPHIN!

- [crying]

- THESE ARE OUR FAVORITE ANIMALSHERE AT THE ATLANTA ZOO.

IT'S DOLLY AND SEAMORE.

THEY'RE BELUGA WHALES.

THESE WHALES LIVE MOSTLYIN THE ARCTIC--

[angry yelling]

- FUCK YOU, WHALE!

[applause]

[angry yelling]

- ALL RIGHT, JESSICA.

NOW PUT YOUR ARMS OUTLIKE THIS.

[applause]

GREAT JOB, JESSICA.

- FUCK YOU, WHALE!

- [screams]

- [sighs]HEY, PAL.

SORRY YOUR BIRTHDAY GOTA LITTLE RUINED BY THE JAPANESE.

- DAD, WHY DID THEY DO THAT?

- WELL, STAN,THE JAPANESE JUST...

DON'T REALLY LIKE DOLPHINSVERY MUCH.

CERTAINLY NOT AS MUCHAS US NORMAL PEOPLE DO.

BUT, HEY, AT LEAST YOU STILLGOT YOUR T-SHIRT.

AND YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVEYOUR NEAT PICTURE.

- DAN DIERDORF HEREWELCOMING YOU

TO THIS GREATFOOTBALL MATCHUP

BETWEEN THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFSAND THE MIAMI DOLPHINS.

WE'RE ALL SETFOR KICKOFF AND--

[angry yelling]

- OH, AND, DAN, IT LOOKSLIKE JAPANESE PEOPLE

ARE NOW RUSHING ONTO THE FIELD.

[angry yelling]

THIS IS NOT THE KINDOF THING

YOU WANT HAPPENINGDURING KICKOFF.

- FUCK YOU, DOLPHIN!

- SEVERAL WHALES AND DOLPHINSWERE AGAIN SLAUGHTERED

BY THE JAPANESE TODAY.

THIS TIME AT THE SIX FLAGSDISCOVERY KINGDOM

NEAR SAN FRANCISCO.

AQUARIUMS HAD BEENEXPERIMENTING

WITH METHODS TO KEEPTHE JAPANESE OUT,

BUT SO FAR, NOTHING SEEMSTO STOP THEM.

WHEN ASKED IF ALLOF JAPAN SUPPORTED

THE SLAUGHTERING OF WHALESAND DOLPHINS,

THE CURRENT PRIME MINISTEROF JAPAN,

YUKIO HATOYAMA,HAD THIS TO SAY.

- [clears throat]

FUCK YOU, WHALE!

AND FUCK YOU, DOLPHIN!

♪ NO HE CAN'T READ MY

♪ POKER FACE

♪ SHE'S GOT TO LOVE NOBODY

♪ CAN'T READ MYCAN'T READ MY ♪

♪ NO HE CAN'T READ MY

♪ POKER FACE

♪ SHE'S GOT TO LOVE NOBODY

♪ P-P-P-POKER FACE

♪ P-P-POKER FACE

♪ M-M-M-MY

♪ P-P-P-POKER FACE

♪ P-P-POKER FACE - YOU GUYS.

GUYS!- ♪ M-M-M-MY

- LOOK, I REALLY THINK IT'S TIMEFOR US TO DO SOMETHING.

THIS IS ALL GETTING WAYOUT OF HAND.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?THIS SONG IS SWEET.

- NO, NOT THE SONG.

I'M TALKING ABOUTTHE JAPANESE

KILLING WHALESAND DOLPHINS.

- DUDE, THEY'VE BEEN DOING THATFOR A LONG TIME.

- SO?DUDE, DON'T YOU GUYS CARE?

WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!

- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, STAN?

IT'S NOT LIKE WE CAN CHANGE THEWAY AN ENTIRE COUNTRY THINKS.

I DON'T LIKE IT,BUT IT'S JUST THE WAY THEY ARE.

- IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONEHAS AN ATTITUDE OF,

"THAT'S JUST THE WAY THEY ARE,"OR "THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS."

NOBODY LIKES IT,BUT EVERYBODY'S TOO BUSY

TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

- I'M NOT TOO BUSY, STAN.

- YOU'RE NOT?

- NO.

I JUST DON'T CARE AT ALL.

- [muffled] YEAH, ME NEITHER.- KENNY?

YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT WHALES ANDDOLPHINS BEING SLAUGHTERED?

- STAN, ME AND KENNY DON'TGIVE TWO SHITS

ABOUT STUPID-ASS WHALES!

- YOU KNOW, WHEN ALL THE WHALESAND DOLPHINS

OF THE WORLD ARE GONE,PEOPLE ARE GONNA WISH

THAT AT SOME POINT THEY'DTAKEN A LITTLE TIME

TO CARE JUST A LITTLEGOD DAMN BIT!

[door closes]

- ♪ I WANNA ROLL WITH HIM

♪ A HARD PAIR WE WILL BE

♪ I DON'T GIVEA CRAP 'BOUT WHALES ♪

♪ SO GO AND HUG A TREE

I HEARD YOU'RE LOOKINGFOR PEOPLE WHO CARE

ABOUT THE JAPANESESLAUGHTERING WHALES.

- YEAH!BUTTERS, DO YOU WANT TO HELP?

- NO, NO, NO, NO.I GOT STUFF TO DO.

BUT I WANTED TO TELL YOU THERE'STHESE FELLERS ON TV.

THEY GO OUT IN THE OCEANAND TRY TO STOP THE JAPANESE

WHEREVER THEY ARE.

- REALLY?

PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING SOMETHING?

- I WATCH THEIR SHOWALL THE TIME,

AND THEY TAKE VOLUNTEERS.

- THEN THAT'S WHERE I BELONG.

- ♪ THE WORLD IS A VAMPIRE

♪ SENT TO DRAIN

- YEAH, WE'RE BADASS.

- ♪ DESPITE ALL MY RAGE

- ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

- ♪ I AM STILLJUST A RAT IN A CAGE ♪

- WE'RE NOT PROTESTERS.

WE'RE PIRATES.

- THAT'S DEFINITELYA JAPANESE BOAT.

LOOKS LIKE THEY'REWHALING NOW.

[angry yelling]

- FUCK YOU, WHALE!

- OH, MY GOD!

THEY'RE GONNA KILLTHOSE HUMPBACKS.

- WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

- PULL UP NEXT TO THEM.THE FIGHT IS ON.

- SWEET!

[horn blows]

[angry yelling]

- YEAH!- YEAH!

- YEAH! HELL YEAH!LET'S DO IT!

- ARE WE BADASSES?all: YEAH!

- ARE WE BADASSES?

all: YEAH!

- ALL RIGHT, SO...

WHAT DO WE DO?

WAIT.I KNOW.

HOW ABOUT WE GO ON THEIR SHIPAND THEN BEAT OURSELVES UP?

AND THEN WE CAN TELLTHE MEDIA THEY DID IT.

- GREAT IDEA, CAPTAIN.

- I'LL START RIGHT NOW.

- OH, MY GOD.

LUKE'S BEEN HURT TRYINGTO SAVE WHALES.

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.

HOW ABOUT I PRETENDTO BE SHOT?

THEN WE CAN TELL THE MEDIATHE JAPANESE SHOT ME

AND STARTAN INTERNATIONAL CRISIS.

- WHOA, WAIT, WAIT.

WE DON'T WANT TO JUSTLIE ABOUT STUFF.

- WHY NOT?

- WELL, 'CAUSE THEN WE'RE JUST DOUCHEBAGS, DUDE.

COME ON.THEY'RE RIGHT HERE.

LET'S GET HARD-CORE.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?HE'S RIGHT.

IT'S TIME TO BRING OUTTHE BIG GUNS.

YOU GUYS READY?READY?

AND THROW THE STINKY BUTTERAT THEM!

- HA-HA!YOU STINK NOW!

HA-HA!

- WAIT.THAT'S IT?

- YEAH, WE MAKE 'EM STINK.

HA-HA!YOUR BOAT IS STINKY!

HERE.THROW ONE.

- THOSE GUYS ARE ALWAYS COVEREDIN DOLPHIN AND WHALE GUTS.

THEY DON'T CARE IF THEY STINK.

COME ON.LET'S BREAK THEIR BOAT.

- WELL, NO.THAT'D BE ILLEGAL.

- YEAH.

- I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WEREPIRATES IN A WAR.

- I'M A PIRATE IN A WAR.

- PIRATES DON'T WORRYABOUT THE LAW!

YOU GUYS SAIDYOU WERE BADASSES!

- WE ARE.

PEOPLE THINK OUR METHODSARE EXTREME,

BUT WE'LL KEEP MAKINGTHEIR BOAT STINK

AS LONG AS THEY'RE KILLINGWHALES AND DOLPHINS.

- THE JAPANESE ARE SCAREDOF HOW HARD-CORE WE ARE.

[bang]

- [grunts]

- PAUL!

[cheering]

- PAUL?- WHAT DO WE DO?

- WE DON'T HAVE A CAPTAIN.- OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.

[gunshot]

[explosion]

[screaming]

- OH, MY GOD.

- WHAT DID YOU DO?

- WHAT YOU ASSHOLES ACTEDLIKE YOU WERE DOING.

[screaming]

[Cartman sings Lady Gaga's Poker Face]

- ♪ M-M-M-MY

♪ M-M-MY

♪ I WANT TO HOLD 'EM

♪ LIKE THEY DO IN TEXAS PLAYS

♪ A LITTLE GAMBLING IS FUNWHEN YOU'RE WITH ME ♪

♪ I LOVE IT

♪ RUSSIAN ROULETTE IS NOTTHE SAME WITHOUT A GUN ♪

♪ AND BABY WHEN IT'S LOVE

♪ IF IT'S NOT ROUGH,IT ISN'T FUN ♪

♪ OH OH

♪ WHOA WHOA OH

♪ WHOA OH WHOA OH

♪ I'LL GET HIM HOT

♪ SHOW HIM WHAT I'VE GOT

♪ OH WHOA OH OH

♪ OH OH OH

♪ I'LL GET HIM HOT

♪ SHOW HIM WHAT I'VE GOT

♪ CAN'T READ MYCAN'T READ MY ♪

♪ NO HE CAN'T READMY POKER FACE ♪

- WAIT FOR IT.

WAIT FOR IT.

- ♪ SHE'S GOT TO LOVE NOBODY

- NOW!- ♪ CAN'T READ MY

♪ CAN'T READ MY [statue roars]

♪ NO HE CAN'T READMY POKER FACE ♪

- OH!

- GODZILLA!GODZILLA!

- ♪ P-P-P-POKER FACE

♪ P-P-POKER FACE

♪ M-M-M-MY P-P-P-POKER FACE

- [speaking Japanese]

- ♪ M-M-M-MY

- [speaking Japanese]

- AND NOW LARRY KING LIVE.

- MY GUEST TONIGHTIS THE LITTLE BOY

WHO TOOK OVER THE WHALE WARS REALITY SHOW

AND TURNED IT INTO A BIG HIT.

PLEASE WELCOME STAN MARSHAND HIS CREW.

- HEY, JORDAN!I'M ON LARRY KING, MATE!

- SO, STAN,WHAT MOTIVATED YOU,

WHAT INSPIRED YOUTO GET OUT THERE

AND MAKE A HIT TV SHOW?

- NO, I DON'T REALLY CAREABOUT THE TV SHOW.

I'M JUST TRYING TO STOPTHE JAPANESE

FROM KILLING DOLPHINSAND WHALES.

- ONCE YOU BECAME CAPTAIN,THE METHODS USED

TO STOP THE JAPANESE DEFINITELYBECAME MORE AGGRESSIVE.

WAS THAT THE KEY TO HELPBOOST YOUR RATINGS?

- NO.I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE SHOW.

- WE'RE PIRATES.

- I JUST WANT PEOPLETO KNOW THAT YOU CAN

STOP THE JAPANESE IF YOU HAVESOME REAL GOD DAMN BALLS.

- I'VE GOT BALLS.

- WELL, THERE ARE MANY PEOPLEWHO SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING

AS A POSITIVE THINGAND OF COURSE

MANY THAT SEEPROBLEMS WITH IT.

JOINING US NOWIS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.

AND YOU SAY STAN'S METHODSARE UNETHICAL.

- LARRY, YOU CAN'T JUST GO OUTAND TAKE MATTERS

INTO YOUR OWN HANDS LIKE THIS.

IF YOU WANT A HIT TV SHOW,YOU HAVE TO GO

THROUGH PRODUCERS, DIRECTORS,PEOPLE THAT ARE IN UNIONS.

- BUT, SID, YOU SAW THE SHOWBEFORE STAN TOOK IT OVER.

YOU HAVE TO ADMITTHAT IT WAS NOTHING

BUT INCOMPETENT VEGAN PUSSIESDOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

AND TRYINGTO TURN IT INTO DRAMA.

- YES, BUT ITDOESN'T JUSTIFY

CHANGING THE ENTIRESHOW STRUCTURE

THAT THEIR OLD CAPTAIN HADPITCHED TO THE NETWORK.

- COULD WE PLEASE JUST TALKABOUT THE ACTUAL

WHALING PROBLEMFOR A SECOND?

- BUT THEIR OLD CAPTAIN,PAUL WATSON,

WAS AN UNORGANIZED,INCOMPETENT MEDIA WHORE

WHO THOUGHT LYINGTO EVERYONE WAS OKAY

AS LONG AS IT SERVEDHIS CAUSE.

- YES, OF COURSE.

EVERYONE KNOWS THAT PAUL WATSONWAS A SMUG,

NARCOLEPTIC LIARWITH NO CREDIBILITY, BUT--

- SCREW THIS.I GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK.

- ON THIS EPISODEOF REAL ACTUAL WHALE WARS...

KNOWING THEY COULDBE ABSOLUTELY ANYWHERE.

- WOULD YOU MIND STEPPING BACKA LITTLE?

- CAPTAIN, CAPTAIN!

SOME NEW VOLUNTEERSSHOWED UP

TO HELP US IN OUR CRUSADE.

- NO, DUDE, WE REALLY CAN'TTAKE ANY MORE VOLUNTEERS.

- BUT THEY SAY YOU KNOW THEM.

- ALL RIGHT, DUDE.THIS IS PRETTY SWEET.

- OH, NO, NO, NO.

- WHAT, DUDE?

- OH, WHAT, SO NOW THAT I HAVEA HIT TV SHOW,

YOU GUYS CAREABOUT DOLPHINS AND WHALES?

- WE ALWAYS HAVE.- [muffled] YEAH, TOTALLY.

- I ASKED YOU GUYS TO HELP MEAND YOU SAID, "NO."

- THAT'S NOT WHAT WE SAID.

- YOU SAID, "STAN, ME AND KENNYDON'T GIVE TWO SHITS

ABOUT STUPID-ASS WHALES."

- WE WERE TALKINGABOUT WALES THE COUNTRY.

- LOOK, IF YOU ADMIT THAT YOU'REONLY DOING THIS

BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE ON TV,THEN I'LL CONSIDER IT.

ADMIT YOU JUST WANTTO BE ON TV.

- [muffled]I JUST WANT TO BE ON TV.

- KENNY!

I DESERVE TO BE ON TV.

- CAPTAIN!

CAPTAIN, THE JAPANESEHAVE BEEN SPOTTED

NEAR BUOY 24!

- TAKE US OUT OF PORT.ALL HANDS TO STATIONS.

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO SAVE THOSEWHALES, YOU GUYS.

- CAPTAIN MARSH RACESHIS BOAT TO THE LAST

KNOWN LOCATIONOF THE JAPANESE WHALERS.

IF HE DOESN'TGET THERE IN TIME,

HUNDREDS OF DOLPHINSOR WHALES COULD DIE.

- AS SOON AS WE GET THERE,WE GOT TO BE READY

TO DEPLOY THE TRACKING DEVICE.

WE CAN'T LETTHOSE WHALES GET HURT.

[crash]all: WHOA!

- WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

- WE JUST GOT RAMMED.

- THE JAPANESE WANTTO PLAY THAT WAY, HUH?

- IT'S NOT THE JAPANESE.

- WHAT?

- ON DECK, THE CREW IS SURPRISEDAT WHAT THEY SEE.

THE OTHER BOAT ISFROM DEADLIEST CATCH,

A CRAB-FISHING REALITY SHOW.

- YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL,DON'T YOU?

YOU THINK YOU'RE BIG BOATREALITY SHOW ON THE BLOCK?

YOU'RE TAKING AWAYMEN'S LIVELIHOODS!

- WHAT?

DUDE, WE'RE TRYINGTO GET TO SOME WHALES.

- YOU'RE TAKING VIEWERS AWAYFROM OUR SHOW,

YOU STUPID ASS!

- YOUR SHOW IS FUCKING GAY,DUDE.

- YOUR SHOW IS FUCKING GAY!

- SCREW THIS.TURN HARD TO PORT.

- BUT EVERYWHERE HIS REALITYSHOW'S BOAT TURNS,

THE CRAB-FISHING REALITY BOATBLOCKS ITS PATH.

[horn blows]- DUDE, FUCK YOU!

- FUCK YOU!

REALITY SHOW ISN'T BUDGING.

CAPTAIN MARSH'S BOATIS DEAD IN THE WATER.

HE CAN'T GO AFTERTHE JAPANESE.

HE CAN'T HELPTHE WHALES OR DOLPHINS.

ONCE AGAIN ON WHALE WARS, NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

- IT'S PRETTY DIFFICULT TIMES,BECAUSE, UH,

WE KNOW THAT EVERY MINUTE WE'RESITTING HERE STOPPED,

ANOTHER WHALE IS DYING.

- REALLY TOUGH, YOU KNOW?IT'S REALLY HARD.

IT'S LIKE WE'VE DEDICATEDALL THIS TIME

AND ALL OUR LIVES TO SAVINGTHESE MAJESTIC CREATURES.

- [muffled]

[crying]

- SHH, KENNY.

OH, KEN'S TAKING ITESPECIALLY HARD.

HE'S ALWAYS LOVED DOLPHINSSO MUCH THAT HE--

YEAH, YEAH, BUT KEEP IT INA TWO-SHOT THOUGH.

YEAH, KEEP IT--YEAH.

HE'S ALWAYS LOVED DOLPHINSSO MUCH

THAT HE WOULD DO ANYTHING.

- I WOULD DO ANYTHING![sobbing]

- THE CRAB-FISHING REALITY SHOWIS DOING JUST FINE.

[cheering]

BUT FOR THE WHALE WARS CREW,IT APPEARS THE SHOW IS OVER.

UNTIL A SOUND IS HEARD.

[whales moaning]

- WHAT WAS THAT?

- CAPTAIN, LOOK!

all: WOW!

[screaming]

- THE WHALES ARE TAKING OUTCRAB FISHERMAN REALITY SHOW.

- IT'S LIKE THEY KNOW.

- HEY!HEY!

[screaming]

- BELIEVE IT!

- THEY DO KNOW!

THEY KNOW EVERYTHING I'VE BEENTRYING TO DO FOR THEM.

- OUR GENTLE FRIENDS OFTHE SEA HAVE SAVED THE DAY,

BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT ONLY WECAN SAVE THEM FROM THE JAPANESE.

[airplanes approaching]

- BONSAI!

[explosion]

- JESUS CHRIST!

[airplanes approaching]

[explosions]

WE GOT TO GET SOMETHINGTO SHOOT 'EM WITH!

[airplanes approaching]- LOOK OUT!

[explosions]

[coughing]

- I--I CAN'T--I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

- DUDE, YOU KNOW WHAT?

JAPANESE PEOPLE REALLYDO NOT LIKE WHALES.

[guns clicking]

UH-OH.

- [playing harmonica]

♪ WELL I'MIN JAPANESE PRISON, LORD ♪

♪ JAPANESE PRISONGOT ME DOWN ♪

♪

♪ SAID I'MIN JAPANESE PRISON, LORD ♪

♪ DON'T BELONG HERE

♪ MY EYES ARE ROUND

♪

- WILL YOU STOP THAT?

- OH, I'M SORRY.

AM I MAKING THINGS UNCOMFORTABLEFOR YOU, STAN?

IT'S YOUR FAULT ME AND KENNYARE IN THIS MESS!

- THINGS ARE BAD ENOUGH WITHOUTYOU BEING A SMARTASS.

THERE'S WHALES OUT THERE BEINGSLAUGHTERED RIGHT NOW,

AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHINGABOUT IT, SO JUST KEEP QUIET.

- YOU DON'T HAVE A TV SHOWANYMORE, CAPTAIN,

SO YOU CAN JUST SUCK MYJAPANESE IMPRISONED BALLS.

♪

♪ I'M IN JAPANESE PRISON, LORD

♪ JAPANESE BALLS GOT ME DOWN

[door opens]

- [speaking Japanese]

- SO YOU ARE THE ONES WHO HAVEBEEN SINKING OUR BOATS!

- YOU SPEAK ENGLISH.

- YOU HAVE CAUSED USMANY PROBLEMS,

SET US BACK MANY MONTHS.

- SIR, WE ACTUALLY DON'T GIVETWO SHITS

ABOUT YOU KILLING WHALES.

CAN WE GO?- YEAH, CAN WE GO?

- WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS?

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON MAKINGTROUBLE FOR THE JAPANESE?

- WHY DO YOU DO WHAT YOU DO?

YOU KNOW THAT 98% OF THE WORLDIS AGAINST WHALING?

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STOP?

- YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHTTO TELL US

WHAT IS OKAY?

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.

THIS IS HIROSHIMA.

OVER 50 YEARS AGO,THIS ENTIRE CITY

WAS DESTROYED BY NUCLEAR BOMB.

WE BUILT THIS MUSEUM SO THAT WENEVER FORGET WHAT HAPPENED.

- [yawns]

WHAT, DUDE?

- AT 8:15 A.M.,THE PEOPLE OF HIROSHIMA

WERE JUST MINDINGTHEIR OWN BUSINESS

WHEN OUT OF NOWHERE,A FLASH DEVASTATED THEM ALL.

WOMEN AND CHILDREN WHO DIEDIN THE FLASH SIMPLY EVAPORATED.

THOSE LEFT ALIVE SUFFEREDTHE WORST PAIN OF ALL.

BURNS, RADIATION POISONING.

FOR GENERATIONS, THE RADIATIONAFFECTED THE VICTIMS.

JAPANESE BABIES BORNWITHOUT LIMBS, WITHOUT EYES.

- [chuckles]

SORRY.[coughs]

A LITTLE GASSY.EXCUSE ME.

- 140,000 JAPANESE WERE KILLEDBY ATOM BOMB.

WE HAVE NEVER RECOVEREDFROM THE MEMORY OF THAT DAY.

IT IS IMPOSSIBLEFOR A NATION

TO EVER FORGIVEAN ACT SO HORRIBLE.

THIS PICTURE SHOWS THE PLANETHAT DROPPED THE BOMB.

IT WAS CALLED THE ENOLA GAY.

AND IT WAS FLOWN BY THE MONSTERSWHO DROPPED THE BOMB THAT DAY,

DOLPHIN AND WHALE!

- UM, WHERE DID YOUGET THAT PICTURE?

- THE AMERICANS WERE NICE ENOUGHTO GIVE IT TO US

THE DAY AFTER THE BOMBING.

WE WERE SO THANKFULFOR THE PICTURE

THAT THE NEXT DAY,WE ENDED OUR WAR WITH AMERICA.

WE WILL NEVER FORGIVE,NEVER REST

UNTIL THEY ARE ALL WIPED OUT.

FUCK YOU.

FUCK YOU,DOLPHIN AND WHALE!

- SO THAT'S WHAT THISHAS ALL BEEN ABOUT.

- DUDE, IT ACTUALLY WASN'TA DOLPHIN AND A WHALE

WHO BOMBED HIROSHIMA.

IT WAS THE--- SHH! SHH!

DUDE, THEY WON'T REST UNTILWHOEVER'S RESPONSIBLE

IS COMPLETELY WIPED OUT.

- OH, RIGHT.

LOOK, I--I THINK I CAN MAKEEVERYTHING OKAY HERE.

CAN I JUST USE A PHONE?

- HELLO?STAN?

- DUDE, ARE YOU SITTINGAT YOUR COMPUTER?

I NEED YOU TO DO SOMETHINGFOR ME.

MR. PRIME MINISTER,JAPANESE OFFICIALS,

THERE'S SOMETHINGYOU NEED TO KNOW.

THE PHOTO YOU WERE GIVENOF THE ENOLA GAY WAS DOCTORED.

BECAUSE THE REAL BOMBERS FEAREDRETALIATION SO BADLY

THAT THEY SIMPLY POINTEDTHE FINGER AT SOMEBODY ELSE.

MY GOVERNMENT HAS AUTHORIZED METO GIVE YOU THE ORIGINAL PHOTO,

UNALTERED, SO YOU CANFINALLY KNOW THE TRUTH.

DOLPHINS AND WHALES WERE JUSTFRAMED BY THE REAL BOMBERS.

A CHICKEN...

AND A COW.

- CHICKEN AND COW?

CHICKEN AND COW!

- CHICKEN AND COW USE POORDOLPHIN AND WHALE

AS A SCAPEGOAT!

THIS IS OUTRAGE!

[cows mooing]

- FUCK YOU, COW!

[angry yelling]

[chickens clucking]

- FUCK YOU, CHICKEN!

- FUCK YOU, CHICKEN!

- GREAT JOB, SON.

NOW THE JAPANESEARE NORMAL LIKE US.