KEEPING YOU UP-TO-DATE WITH ALLYOUR BRITNEY SPEARS NEWS !

EHH !OH, BOY !

WHAT'S SHE DONE NOW ?

BRITNEY SPEARSHAS BEEN SPOTTED CAMPING

IN THE COLORADO MOUNTAINS,AND ONE REPORT CLAIMS

THAT SHE HAS TAKENA PISS IN THE FOREST.

ROBERT POONER HAS MORE.

RON, I'M STANDING IN"SOUTH MARK," COLORADO,

WHERE BRITNEY SPEARSHAS APPARENTLY BEEN

TRYING TOGET AWAY FROM IT ALL.

OH, DUDE,THAT'S OUR TOWN !

MRS. SPEARS WAS SPOTTED ATA MOUNTAIN CAMPGROUND

AND YOU WON'TBELIEVE WHAT SHE DID, RON.

THE TROUBLED DIVA TOOK A PISSRIGHT ON A LADYBUG.

WE'VE BLURRED OUTPARTS OF THE PHOTO

SO THAT IT DOESN'T OFFEND.

SHE'S SUCHA TRAIN WRECK !

WHEN THE PHOTOIS ENHANCED, RON,

YOU CAN SEE THE POOR LITTLELADYBUG GETTING DOUSED.

THIS MUST BE VERYEMBARRASSING FOR BRITNEY

THAT THIS PHOTO GOT OUT, BOB.

AND SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'SGAINED WEIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT, RON,SHE REALLY CHUBBED UP.

AND IF YOU ZOOM INON HER FACE,

YOU CAN SEE THATSHE'S GOT SOME ZITS !

AW, POOR GIRL.

HEY, SHARON,BRITNEY PEED ON A LADYBUG !

THE PHOTOGRAPH WAS TAKEN BY

BRIAN WILLISOF BAILEY, COLORADO,

WHO SOLD IT TO 31 NEWSFOR $100,000.

$100,000 !

THAT'S ENOUGHTO BUY SLAVES !

BRITNEY IS SAID TO BE NOWHIDING OUT

IN A SOUTH PARK MOTEL.

AND NOW BACK TO THE STUPIDDEMOCRATIC DEBATES.

... AND SPEAR CHUCKERS.

DID YOU GUYSHEAR THAT ?

$100,000FOR A PICTURE OF BRITNEY.

AND SHE'S AT A HOTELIN OUR TOWN !

IT'S GOTTA BETHE KOMFORT INN.

THAT'S THE NICEST HOTELIN SOUTH PARK.

CARTMAN,GO GET YOUR CAMERA !

SWEET !

HA-HANG ON, FELLAS.

DON'T YOU THINK BRITNEY'SBEEN THROUGH ENOUGH ?

I MEAN,MAYBE IT'S FINALLY TIME

FOR US ALL TO JUSTLEAVE HER ALONE.

BUTTERS,DON'T BE SUCH A PUSSY.

OKAY.

IMAGINE WHAT A PHOTO OF HER

CRAPPING ONA SQUIRREL IS WORTH !

THIS COSTUMEWAS SUPPOSED TO BE

FOR THE EASTER MUSICAL,FELLAS,

NOT FOR TRYIN' TOMAKE AN EASY BUCK !

OH, NO !

EXCUSE US !

WE'RE TRYING TO GETA PICTURE OF BRITNEY SPEARS.

JOIN THE CLUB.

YEAH, ALL YOUAMATEUR PHOTOGRAPHERS

ARE MAKING THIS TOUGHERON THE PROFESSIONALS !

WE'RE PROFESSIONALS TOO,YOU F--KING BUTTHOLE !

UH-UH,NOBODY GOES UPSTAIRS.

WE HAVESPECIAL PERMISSION.

YEAH, DON'T YOURECOGNIZE US ?

WE'RE BRITNEY SPEARS' KIDS.

YOU ARE ?

NOT ME.

I'M A SQUIRREL !

( announcer )LIVE FROM CHICAGO, ILLINOIS,

IT'S DECISION 2008.

GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TOTHE POLITICAL DEBATE BETWEEN

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTONAND BARACK OBAMA.

FIRST QUESTION.

HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF ASDIFFERENT FROM YOUR OPPONENT ?

How do you see...

UGH, DAD, CAN WE PLEASENOT WATCH THIS ?

THIS IS IMPORTANT,STANLEY.

YOU BOYS SHOULDCARE ABOUT THIS STUFF.

YEAH, BUT WETOTALLY DON'T.

WELL, YOU BOYS ARE GONNASIT AND WATCH THIS.

THIS IS WHATREALLY MATTERS !

AND SO, MR. OBAMA,

WHY DON'T YOU TELL US YOURSTANCE ON MILITARY SPENDING.

WELL, MY OPINION IS THAT--

WE INTERRUPT THIS DEBATE FORAN EMERGENCY NEWS BULLETIN.

I DIDN'T EVENKNOW IT WAS THERE !

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE !

I'M JUST SO...( knocking )

EXCUSE ME, MS. SPEARS,BUT YOUR KIDS ARE HERE

AND THEY'VE BROUGHTYOU A SQUIRREL.

MY BOYS ?REALLY ?

SEND THEM IN !

IT'S OKAY,MY KIDS ARE HERE !

I FEEL BETTER NOW.

WE DID IT, GUYS !I TOLD YOUTHAT WOULD WORK !

YEAH !ALL RIGHT !YEAH !

ALL RIGHT !

YOU MEAN,IT WAS JUST A JOKE ?

MY KIDS AIN'T HERE ?

ALL RIGHT,BUTTERS, GO GET NEXT HER.

I AIN'T DOIN' IT !

WE TRICKED HERAND IT WASN'T NICE !

BUTTERS, DO YOU WANTYOUR SHARE OF

THE $100,000 OR NOT ?

YOU'RE NEVER GONNALEAVE ME ALONE, ARE YOU ?

IT AIN'T RIGHT TOTAKE ADVANTAGE OF SOMEBODY,

NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE !

ALL RIGHT, FINE !WE DON'T NEED YOU, BUTTERS !

( Stan )WE'LL JUST GET A PICTURE OFHER DOING SOMETHING ELSE !

LADY, JUST FLASH USYOUR CROTCH OR SOMETHING.

I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.

YOU DO ?

YEAH.

( gun cocking )

NO !NO !

YOU KILLED HER !

HEY, EVERYTHINGALL RIGHT UP-- OH.

Paging Dr. Bender, please.

WE SHOULD HAVE JUSTLEFT HER ALONE...

BUT WE JUSTHAD TO PUSH HER.

HOW COULD WE KNOWSHE WOULD...

OH, WE SUCK SO HARD.

SHE'S... ALIVE.

WHEW !OH, THANK GOD.

BUT WE ALMOST LOST HER.

WHY COULDN'T YOU BOYSJUST LEAVE HER ALONE ?

DOCTOR, COULD WE TALKTO HER FOR A MINUTE ?

I DON'T WANT YOUMAKING HER UPSET.

WE DON'T WANNAUPSET HER.

WE JUST WANNATELL HER THAT WE'RE SORRY.

ALL RIGHT.

MS. SPEARS, THESE BOYSWANTED TO SAY SOMETHING.

GRGGLL...

OH, MY GOD !OH, NO !

THE BOYS ARE JUST SHOCKED ATHOW GOOD YOU LOOK, BRITNEY.

RIGHT, BOYS ?

OH, YEAH !

YEAH, IT'S NOT EVENNOTICEABLE.

GRGRHGRGHL,GHRHGGHGLGLGL.

WELL, I'LL LET YOU BOYSHAVE YOUR SAY.

GARGGHGHG...GAHRHGGHGH...

MS. SPEARS, UH...

WE'RE REALLY SORRYFOR MAKING YOU

WANNA KILL YOURSELF.

OH, GOD,WHAT HAVE WE DONE ?

KEEPING YOU UP-TO-DATE WITHALL YOUR BRITNEY SPEARS NEWS.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHATBRITNEY'S DONE NOW.

THE TROUBLED POP STARHAS JUST BEEN SPOTTED

WITH A CRAZYNO-TOP-PART-OF-MY-HEAD LOOK !

THIS VIDEO WAS TAKENJUST HOURS AGO

AS BRITNEY WAS WHEELED INTOTHE HOSPITAL FOR SOME REASON.

AND IF WE ZOOM IN ONTHE FOOTAGE--

RIGHT-- RIGHT HERE,

Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL

NO DOUBT NOW THAT SHE'S HADPLASTIC SURGERY IN THE PAST.

OH-HO-HO.

OH, OUCH,THAT'S GOTTA BE EMBARRASSING !

CHRIS, ANY WORD ONWHY MS. SPEARS

WENT FOR THIS RADICALNO-TOP-OF-THE-HEAD LOOK ?

NO WORD YET, TOM, BUT IT COULDBE OVER THE EMBARRASSMENT

OF THE BOOB-JOB-SCAR VIDEO

WE SHOWEDJUST-- JUST NOW.

UH, EVEN THOUGH THE TIMINGDOESN'T QUITE WORK OUT.

WHY'D YOU DO IT,BRITNEY ?MS. SPEARS !

DUDE !

JUST A SECOND OFYOUR TIME, MS. SPEARS !OVER HERE !

DAMN IT !

SHE CAN'T HANDLE ANYSTRESS RIGHT NOW !

EXCUSE ME,I'M BRITNEY SPEARS' MANAGER.

OH, JEEZ, BRITNEY !

BRITNEY,WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ?

FIRST YOU SHAVE YOUR HEADAND NOW THIS !

GARGHGH.

WELL, IT'S A BALLSY NEW LOOK,I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.

BRIT, OVER HERE, BRIT,ONE FOR STAR WEEKLY ?

GAHRHGGH GARHHGGH !

DAMN IT, YOU HAVE TOTAKE HER OUT OF HERE !

SHE CAN'T BE AROUNDALL THIS RIGHT NOW.

RIGHT, WE NEED TOTAKE HER HOME.

BOYS, CAN YOUGIVE ME A HAND WITH HER ?

YEAH, OF COURSE.

OKAY, COME ON.

MY CAR'S RIGHT HERE.

HEY, LOOK !

THERE SHE IS !

( screeching )

OH, CRAP !WHAT'S UP WITHTHE NEW LOOK, BRITNEY ?!

BRITNEY, WHY AREN'TYOU WEARING ANY SHOES ?

WHY NO SHOES, BRITNEY ?!

JESUS CHRIST !

YEAH, YEAH, IT'S LIKETHIS ALL THE TIME.

THANK YOU.

YES, THANKS.

BRITNEY, OVER HERE...BRITNEY...BRITNEY...

LOOK, UH, WE FEELREALLY BAD

AND WE WANNA HELPBRITNEY HOWEVER WE CAN.

THAT'S GREAT, BOYS.

BRITNEY SEEMS TO HAVE REALLYTAKEN A LIKING TO YOU.

AND DON'T WORRY,

BRITNEY IS A QUEENAT REINVENTING HERSELF.

WE JUST NEED TO GET HER

INTO THE RECORDING STUDIORIGHT AWAY !

ALL RIGHT, BRITNEY,LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP.

REMEMBER TO BRING THATSEXINESS TO IT.

EXCUSE ME, IS THISREALLY WHAT YOU THINK

SHE SHOULD BE DOINGRIGHT NOW ?

ALL RIGHT, BRIT,LET'S TRY IT FROM THE TOP.

♪ GGRGRLGLGLG

♪ RGLRGLRGLRL

♪ RLGRLRGLRG...

GOD, WHAT A TRAIN WRECK.

SHE MUST BESTONED AGAIN.

♪ ... GHAGH

♪ GHGHGHG

♪ GRGRGRGRL...

WOULD YOU PUTA STOP TO THIS, PLEASE ?

THIS IS ONLY GONNAMAKE THINGS WORSE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?SHE SOUNDS GREAT !

UH, BRITNEY,THAT LAST LYRIC

IS SUPPOSED TO BE"LOVE ELATION."

SOUNDS MORE LIKE YOU'RESAYING "LOVE CREATION."

GRLGLGL.

"ELATION."

REALLY ANNUNCIATETHE "L".

GRAGGGLGL GLRLGLGGL...

GOD, SHE'S SO STUPID !

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ?LOOK AT HER !

SHE DOESN'T HAVEMOST OF HER BRAIN !

I KNOW,SHE'S REALLY DUMB, HUH ?

NO, I MEAN SHE LITERALLY

DOESN'T HAVEMOST OF HER BRAIN !

HER HEAD IS GONE !

YEAH, AND SHE'SALL FAT TOO.

( announcer )LIVE FROM LAS VEGAS,IT'S THE MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS.

WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL ?

IT'S THE MTV AWARDS AND WE AREKICKIN' IT OFF RIGHT !

HERE TO PERFORM HERNEW SONG IS THE ONE AND ONLY

BRITNEY SPEARS !

OH, COME ON NOW,PEOPLE !

OH, MY GOD !

SHE'S REALLYGOTTEN CHUBBY !

♪ It's Britney bitch

♪ ( giggling )

♪ Gragggal

♪ Ghagh

♪ Ghghghg

♪ Grgr

♪ THE WAY SHE FEELS

♪ Grhgrh

♪ LOVE INSIDE

♪ Grlrglr...

OH, MAN, SHE'S TOTALLYLIP-SYNCHING.

SHE DOESN'THAVE ANY LIPS !

♪ ... TEMPORARY

♪ Grghgrhll

♪ SO HOT

♪ Grghgh...

♪ Grghgrhgrh... ♪

DISASTER ATTHE MTV AWARDS.

PEOPLE ARE RIDICULINGBRITNEY SPEARS.

HER PERFORMANCEWAS AWFUL, TOM.

SHE LOOKED TIRED,SHE LOOKED FAT,

SHE DIDN'T HAVE A HEAD.

IT WAS JUSTCOMPLETELY PHONED IN.

No doubt, Tom, that girlhas major issues.

DON'T LISTENTO 'EM, BRIT.

THEY'RE ALL JUST JEALOUS.

A DISTRAUGHT BRITNEY SPEARSHAS APPARENTLY DISAPPEARED

AND ABANDONEDALL THOSE CLOSE TO HER !

A LOCAL HOUSEWIFE CAUGHTA PHOTO OF BRITNEY

RUNNING AWAYIN THIS DISGUISE !

BRITNEY IS OBVIOUSLYVERY UPSET

ABOUT HER MTV PERFORMANCE, RON,

AND SO SHE'S BECOMEDESPERATE.

MOST TROUBLINGFOR HER IS THE FACT

THAT HER DISGUISE HASTOTAL CAMEL TOE !

OH, OUCH !OH, BOY.

NOW, LESLIE, THIS SEEMS LIKE AREALLY BAD CAMEL-TOE OFFENSE.

ABSOLUTELY MAJORCAMEL TOE, TRACI.

BRITNEY JUST SEEMSOBLIVIOUS.

SHE WAS BOUNDTO GET NOTICED.

YOU WALK AROUND WITH THATKIND OF CAM-TOE

AND YOU'REGONNA TURN HEADS.

DAVID, ANY IDEAAS TO HOW BIG

THE CAMEL TOEACTUALLY WAS ?

SHE WAS SPORTIN' TOE LIKENEVER BEFORE, BRIAN.

I DON'T KNOWWHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT GIRL,

BUT IT'S A SLAP IN THE FACE TOCAMELS ALL OVER THE PLANET.

THOSE CLOSE TO BRITNEYSAY THEY ARE VERY WORRIED

AND WANT TO BRINGHER HOME SAFE.

AND NOW BACKTO THE LOCAL NEWS.

THE GIANT SQUIRREL, WHICHWAS PICKED UP LAST WEEK

BY ANIMAL CONTROL

APPARENTLYNOW THINKS IT'S A PERSON.

COLORADO OFFICIALS HAVETAKEN THE SQUIRREL

TO JOHNS HOPKINSFOR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION.

THAT SQUIRREL ISOBVIOUSLY NUTS.

IT MUST BE ONTHE OTHER SIDE OF THE STATION.

( man )THERE SHE IS !

IT'S BRITNEY !

BRITNEY, OVER HERE !OH, NO.

BRITNEY !OVER HERE, MS. SPEARS !BRITNEY !RIGHT HERE, MS. SPEARS !

ARE YOU EMBARRASSED ABOUTTHE CAMEL TOE ?

DUDE, THEY'RE NEVERGONNA LET US THROUGH !

YES, THEY ARE.

I HAVE AN IDEA.

BRITNEY ?

WHERE'D SHE GO ?

THERE SHE IS !

BRITNEY, OVER HERE !BRITNEY !OVER HERE, MS. SPEARS !

BRITNEY !MS. SPEARS !OVER HERE, BRITNEY !

OVER HERE...MS. SPEARS...BRITNEY...MS. SPEARS...

( whistle blowing )

IT'S OKAY, YOU'LL BE INTHE NORTH POLE SOON.

GARGLGLG...

THERE SHE IS !

HEY, BRITNEY, IT'S ME !

BRITNEY !MS. SPEARS !OVER HERE !

OVER HERE !BRITNEY !RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE !

BRITNEY, BRITNEY !COME BACK, BRITNEY !BRITNEY, BRITNEY !

BRITNEY...BRITNEY...

BRITNEY, IT'S OVER !

WHAT WERE YOURUNNING FOR ANYWAY ?

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

WHERE'S HERCAMEL TOE ?

I'M NOT BRITNEY SPEARS,ALL RIGHT ?

OH, PSYCH !

SHE MUST BE BACK ATTHE TRAIN STATION !

COME ON !

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE !

EVERYONE JUST STOPFOR ONE MINUTE !

LOOK, YOU GUYS AREGONNA END UP KILLING HER.

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT BRITNEYISN'T IN ANY CONDITION

TO HANDLE THIS CRAP ANYMORE ?

I KNOW WATCHING CELEBRITIESGO DOWN CAN BE FUN.

ME AND MY FRIENDS WERE JUSTAS GUILTY AS ALL OF YOU BUT...

MAYBE... JUST MAYBE...

IT'S TIME TOLET THIS ONE GO.

JUST THIS ONE TIME,

LET'S ALL STOP BEFOREIT'S TOO LATE, HUH ?

SON, YOU DON'TSEEM TO UNDERSTAND.

BRITNEY SPEARS...HAS TO DIE.

HUH ?

WHAT DO YOU THINK ALL THISEFFORT HAS BEEN FOR ?

IT CANNOT BE STOPPED.

IT'S NOT JUST THE PRESS--EVERYONE AGREES.

SHE MUST DIE.

♪ RE TUS

♪ HOTE HOMNIBUS

♪ RE U TU TEFORM-DAY-BOOSE ♪

♪ FLAY-TUS

♪ KO-ME-FAYKO-ME-FAY ♪

PEOPLE ARE RIDICULINGBRITNEY SPEARS.

HER PERFORMANCEWAS AWFUL, TOM.

SHE LOOKED TIRED,SHE LOOKED FAT,

SHE DIDN'T HAVE A HEAD.

IT WAS JUSTCOMPLETELY PHONED IN.

No doubt, Tom, that girlhas major issues.

DON'T LISTENTO 'EM, BRIT.

THEY'RE ALL JUST JEALOUS.

AND WE CAN PUT YOUON SLIM-FAS TOMORROW.

BRITNEY !WERE YOU ON DRUGS,BRITNEY ?HANG ON, HANG ON !

SHE'LL BE OUTIN A MINUTE !

GRLGLGL...

WE HAVE TO GET HERAWAY FROM ALL THIS, DUDE.

PEOPLE JUST AREN'TGOING TO LET UP.

WE HAVE TO TAKE HERSOMEWHERE TO JUST BE AT PEACE.

DUDE, WHERE IN THE WORLDCAN BRITNEY SPEARS GO

WHERE NOBODYWILL BOTHER HER ?

I KNOW WHERE.

( whistle blowing )

WE WANT THREE TICKETSTO THE NORTH POLE.

THE NORTH POLE ?

WHO THE HELL GOES TOTHE NORTH POLE ?

WE DO !

ME, MY FRIEND,AND HIS AUNT.

GARGL.

BY ANIMAL CONTROL

APPARENTLYNOW THINKS IT'S A PERSON.

COLORADO OFFICIALS HAVETAKEN THE SQUIRREL

TO JOHNS HOPKINSFOR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION.

THAT SQUIRREL ISOBVIOUSLY NUTS.

Little StanleyWAS TIRED ANDHUNGRY...

BUT HE KNEW THAT FORBRITNEY SPEARS TO BE SAFE

HE HAD TO GET HER TOTHE NORTH POLE.

YOU DOIN' OKAY,MS. SPEARS ?

GARGLGLGLGGL.

IT'S HER.

NO, I'M SURE IT'SBRITNEY SPEARS.

IT LOOKSJUST LIKE THE PICTURE.

YOU WANT ME TO WHAT ?

YES... I UNDERSTAND.

♪ RE TUS

♪ HOTE HOMNIBUS ♪

HELLO, I'M BOB SUMMERS.

IS TODAY THE DAY ?

WHAT IS GOING ON ?

WHY DO YOU WANTBRITNEY SPEARS TO DIE ?

NOBODY WANTS HERTO DIE, LITTLE BOY.

WE ALL SIMPLY...NEED HER TO.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ?

NO !

LOOK, KID,THROUGHOUT HISTORY,

PEOPLE HAVE FOUND IT NECESSARYTO ENGAGE IN...

HUMAN SACRIFICE.

IN ANCIENT TIMES,

HUMANS WOULD COMMONLYPICK ONE LOVELY GIRL

AND ADORN HER WITH JEWELS,

TREAT HER LIKE A GODDESSAND THEN...

WATCH HER DIE.

WE AMERICANS LIKE TO THINKWE'RE MORE CIVILIZED NOW,

BUT THE TRUTH IS OURLUST FOR TORTURE AND DEATH

IS NO DIFFERENT THAN IT WASIN GLADIATOR TIMES.

ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THATNOW AMERICANS LIKE TO WATCH

PEOPLE PUT TO DEATH THROUGHMAGAZINES AND PHOTOGRAPHS.

IT'S A DAMNSHAME TOO !

OLD WAYS WERE BETTER !

USED TO BE WE JUST PICKEDSOMEONE BY LOTTERY

AND THENSTONED THEM TO DEATH.

NO, THE AMERICAN PEOPLEDON'T WANT TO

STONE PEOPLETO DEATH ANYMORE.

BEST HAVE THE SACRIFICEKILL ITSELF.

YOU MEAN EVERYONEIN THE COUNTRY WANTS

BRITNEY SPEARS TOKILL HERSELF ?

BRITNEY WASCHOSEN A LONG TIME AGO

TO BE BUILT UP AND ADORED

AND THEN SACRIFICED...FOR HARVEST.

HEY, WHERE ARE WE ?

THIS ISN'T RIGHT.

OVER HERE, MS. SPEARS !ONE FOR US MAGAZINE ?

RIGHT OVER HERE,MS. SPEARS !

OH, NO !GGOEGOGOG !GGOGO !

COME ON, BRITNEY !

COME ON, COME ON !

( gasping )

MOM, DAD !

THEY'RE GONNAKILL HER !

THEY'RE GONNA-- WAIT,WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?

IT'S ALL OF AMERICA,KYLE.

WE'RE ALL A PARTOF THIS TOGETHER.

YOU KNOWABOUT ALL THIS ?

KYLE, WHAT THE F--KIS GOING ON NOW ?

SHE'S BEEN BUILT UP TOBE SACRIFICED, STAN !

SACRIFICED ?FOR WHAT ?

FOR HARVEST, STANLEY.

THE SAME REASON HUMAN BEINGSHAVE ALWAYS DONE IT.

"SACRIFICE IN MARCH,CORN HAVE PLENTY STARCH."

CORN HARVEST.

WE HADN'T TOLDYOU ABOUT IT, STANLEY,

BECAUSE WE LIKE TO WAIT UNTILKIDS ARE A LITTLE OLDER

TO TALK TO THEMABOUT THINGS LIKE CONDOMS

AND RITUALISTIC HUMANSACRIFICE FOR HARVEST.

ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH ALREADY !

THIS HAS ALL GONE ONLONG ENOUGH.

THE KID IS RIGHT.

THIS HAS GONE ONTOO LONG.

YEAH, SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVEKILLED HERSELF A LONG TIME AGO.

AND HARVEST IS COMING SOON.

ALL RIGHT, FOLKS,LET'S FINISH THIS QUICKLY.

( cameras clicking )

NO, WAIT.

RGGLL...GRLGLGL...

ARGNGG...RGLGLGLG...

COME ON, HURRY UP.

I CAN'T RUN.

YOU GO AHEAD,I'LL CATCH UP WITH YA.

RALGGLG !

RALGLGLG !

HERE, DAVY.

GARGGG !

GARGGLGLGLGLGL...

HOLD ON !

SHE'S DEAD.

WELL, I THINK IT'S TIME FOR USTO LEAVE THE POOR GIRL ALONE.

( thundering )

MORNIN', BILL.MORNIN', JOE.

NICE-LOOKIN' CORN.

HEY, SHARON, RANDY,GREAT HARVEST, HUH ?

AN INCREDIBLE HARVEST.

SOME OF THE BEST CORNI'VE SEEN IN YEARS.

HEY, CHECK IT OUT.

... and the young girlhas really

takenthe country by storm !

Hannah Montana's Miley Cyrus,

THOUGH ONLY 15 YEARS OLD,IS ALREADY ON HER WAY

TO BEING A MAJOR SUPERSTAR.

LOOKS LIKE NEXT HARVESTWILL BE EVEN BETTER.

♪ RE TUS

♪ HOTE HOMNIBUS

♪ RE U TU TEFORM-DAY-BOOSE ♪

♪ FLAY-TUS

♪ KO-ME-FAYKO-ME-FAY ♪

♪ SANCTO MAY USKO-ME-FAY ♪♪

IT'S BRITNEY WATCH !

KEEPING YOU UP-TO-DATE WITH ALLYOUR BRITNEY SPEARS NEWS !

EHH !OH, BOY !

WHAT'S SHE DONE NOW ?

BRITNEY SPEARSHAS BEEN SPOTTED CAMPING

IN THE COLORADO MOUNTAINS,AND ONE REPORT CLAIMS

THAT SHE HAS TAKENA PISS IN THE FOREST.

ROBERT POONER HAS MORE.

RON, I'M STANDING IN"SOUTH MARK," COLORADO,

WHERE BRITNEY SPEARSHAS APPARENTLY BEEN

TRYING TOGET AWAY FROM IT ALL.

OH, DUDE,THAT'S OUR TOWN !

MRS. SPEARS WAS SPOTTED ATA MOUNTAIN CAMPGROUND

AND YOU WON'TBELIEVE WHAT SHE DID, RON.

THE TROUBLED DIVA TOOK A PISSRIGHT ON A LADYBUG.

WE'VE BLURRED OUTPARTS OF THE PHOTO

SO THAT IT DOESN'T OFFEND.

SHE'S SUCHA TRAIN WRECK !

WHEN THE PHOTOIS ENHANCED, RON,

YOU CAN SEE THE POOR LITTLELADYBUG GETTING DOUSED.

THIS MUST BE VERYEMBARRASSING FOR BRITNEY

THAT THIS PHOTO GOT OUT, BOB.

AND SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'SGAINED WEIGHT.