( suspension squeaking )

( all makingspaceship noises)

CAPTAIN CARTMANREPORTING FROM

SHUTTLE CRAFT"SPONTANEITY".

APPROACHING PLANETOMEGA NINE.

WARP DRIVEDISENGAGED.

LANDING SEQUENCEINITIATED.

WHAT KIND OF ATMOSPHEREARE YOU READING

ON THE PLANET'SSURFACE, JEW ?

I'M A VULCAN !

ALRIGHT, WHAT KINDOF ATMOSPHERE

ARE YOU READING,VULCAN JEW ?

THE ATMOSPHEREIS OXYGEN-BASED.

SHOULD SUPPORTOUR BREATHING.

ALRIGHT, HANG ONWE'RE ABOUT TO LAND.

WWWRRHRHH...WRHRHGHGGH...

SSHHHUNNK !

OKAY, 1st OFFICER STANAND ENGINEER KENNY,

YOU COME WITH MEON THE AWAY TEAM.

VULCAN JEW KYLEYOU WAIT HERE.

NO, I'M ONTHE AWAY TEAM TOO !

IT'S MY MOM'SNEW MINIVAN

SO I'M THE CAPTAIN, KYLE !

I DON'T CARE,YOU'RE NOT MAKING ME

WAIT IN THE VAN AGAIN !

FINE, KYLE.

BUT IF SOMETHINGGOES WRONG OUT THERE

DON'T HOLD MERESPONSIBLE !

SET PHASERS ON STUN.

THINGS SEEMPRETTY QUIET.

YES, A LITTLETOO QUIET.

I AM PICKING UPCARBON-BASED LIFE FORMS

IN SECTOR C.

I BELIEVE WE WILL FINDA VILLAGE OF PEACEFUL ALIENS

OVER THAT RIDGE.

OKAY, FINE,I GUESS WE'LL--

OH NO, LOOK OUT !!

A GIANT FOUR-HEADEDLAVA FROG !!!

SHOOT IT !!!

( phaser sounds )

OH NO, IT'S GOT KYLE !!!

NO, IT DOESN'T.

IT'S GOT KYLE AND IT'STEARING HIS HEAD OFF !

OH, YOU GUYS, IT LOOKS LIKE KYLE IS DONE FOR !!!

NO, I'M NOT !!

GODAMMIT CARTMAN, YOU ARE NOTGOING TO KILL ME OFF AGAIN !

YOU SEE GUYS- THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T

BRING JEWS ALONGON THE AWAY TEAM !

THEY DON'T PLAY ALONG !

SHUT UP ABOUTJEWS, FAT ASS !

YOU DON'TKNOW ANYTHING !

OH GOD,HERE WE GO AGAIN.

OH YEAH, I SAW MEL GIBSON'SMOVIE "THE PASSION"

AND MEL GIBSON SAYSIN THE MOVIE

"JEWS ARE THE DEVIL" !

HE DOES NOT !

HOW DO YOU KNOW ?!

I'VE SEEN THE PASSION34 TIMES NOW, KYLE.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT ONCE !

THERE'S ONE PART WHEREJEWS HAVE A CHANCETO SAVE JESUS

AND YOU KNOWWHAT THEY DO ?

THEY LET BARABAS, A SERIALKILLER GO FREE INSTEAD

AND LAUGH ABOUT IT !

NUH-UH !

GO SEE THE MOVIE, KYLE !

I'M SICK OF YOU GUYS ARGUINGABOUT "THE PASSION".

I'M OUTTA HERE.

ME TOO.

I'M NOT ARGUINGABOUT THE PASSION !

HE'S BEING AN ASSHOLE !

YOU KNOWWHAT IT IS ?

YOU'RE SCARED.

YOU'RE SCAREDOF THE TRUTH.

YOU DON'T WANTTHAT MOVIE TO SHOW YOU

JUST HOW BADTHE JEWS ARE.

AND WHY EVERYONE HATES YOU.

PEOPLE DON'TATE THE JEWS !

REALLY ?

THREE HUNDRED MILLIONDOMESTIC BOX OFFICE, KYLE.

THE TOP GROSSING FILMOF ALL TIME, KYLE.

THOSE NUMBERS DON'T LIE.

IF YOU'RE NOT SCARED OF THEPASSION THEN GO SEE IT.

GO SEE IT ANDTELL ME I'M WRONG.

MEL GIBSON, KYLE.

MEL GIBSON.

YOU'RE ASTUPID ASSHOLE.

SWEET, NOW I CANJUST PLAY WITH MYSELF.

BEW-BEW, BEW !

GET BACK INTHE SHUTTLE CRAFT !

"THE PASSION" HAS MADEALMOST 400 MILLION DOLLARS

AT THE BOX OFFICE NOW.

GODDAMN.

EVERYONE IN THE COUNTRYIS GOING TO SEE THAT MOVIE.

I GUESS WE HAVE TOGO SEE IT TOO.

AAAAAAGHGHGGH !!!

AAAAAAAAGHGHGGH !!!

AHGGHGHGHGHGH !

AAAAHGHGHGHG !!!

DUDE...

THAT MOVIE SUCKED !

THAT TOTALLY SUCKED !

HOW DO THEY EVENCALL THAT A MOVIE ?

I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S BULLCRAP, DUDE,

LET'S GO GETOUR MONEY BACK !

YEAH !

WOW, I DIDN'T REALIZE HOWHORRIBLE CHRIST'S DEATH WAS.

ME NEITHER...

OH HONEY, LET'S BE GOODCHRISTIANS FROM NOW ON !

I THINK IF MORE PEOPLESAW "THE PASSION"

THEY'D HAVEFAITH IN JESUS.

YEAH, IT REALLY GUILT-TRIPS YOUINTO BELIEVING.

HEY, WE WANTOUR MONEY BACK.

HUH ?

THAT MOVIE SUCKED ASS,

GIVE US BACKOUR EIGHTEEN DOLLARS.

I CAN'T REFUNDYOUR MONEY.

YOU SAT THROUGHTHE WHOLE MOVIE.

THAT WASN'T A MOVIE,THAT WAS A SNUFF FILM.

YEAH !

YOU CAN'T CHARGE PEOPLE

TO WATCH A GUY GETTORTURED FOR TWO HOURS.

THAT GUY HAPPENSTO BE JESUS.

AND HE WENT THROUGHALL THAT

TO PAY FOR YOUR SINS !

WE GO TO CHURCHTO LEARN THAT STUFF !

WE GO TO MOVIESTO BE ENTERTAINED.

WE WEREN'T ENTERTAINEDAND WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK !

I'M NOT ALLOWED TOGIVE YOU YOUR MONEY BACK

AFTER YOU SAT THROUGHTHE WHOLE MOVIE !

YOU'D HAVE TO TAKEYOUR COMPLAINT UP

WITH THE FILM'S PRODUCERS.

YOU'RE SAYING WE HAVE TOGET OUR MONEY BACK

FROM MEL GIBSON ?

YEAH, I'D LIKE TOSEE YOU TRY.

OH, WE WILL-THIS IS AMERICA.

AND IN AMERICA, IF SOMETHING SUCKS

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLETO GET YOUR MONEY BACK !

COME ON, KENNY !

HOO HOO !

HOO HOO !

TWO DAYS AGO I SAW A RIGTHAT COULD HAUL THAT TANKA.

YOU WANNA GET OUTTA HERE ?

YOU TALK TO ME.

HOO HOO !

HOO HOO !

MEL GIBSON IS F--KINGCRAZY, DUDE.

WAIT, THERE'S HIS WALLET !

FREEEEEDOM !!!

AW CRAP, HE'SONLY GOT TWENTIES.

YOU GOTTWO DOLLARS, KENNY ?

JESUS IS LORD !

ALRIGHT LET'S GETTHE HELL OUT OF HERE !

BOOM CHICKIE-BOOMCHICKIE-BOOM, HEE-HEE !

BOOM CHICKIE-BOOM CHICKIE-BOOM, HEE HEE !

♪ WHEN YOU'RE A CLOWN

♪ NOBODY TAKES YOUSERIOUSLYYYYY... ♪♪

RUN, DUDE, RUN !

KA-PLAAA !

KAPLAAAA !

♪ AND GOOD EVENING-A FRIENDS

ONE PLEASE.

THIS IS AN"R" RATED MOVIE.

YEAH, I KNOW, BUT--

BUT - BECAUSE THIS ISSUCH AN IMPORTANT FILM

THAT ACCURATELY DEPICTS THESELFLESS ACTS OF JESUS CHRIST

I'LL LET YOUIN TO SEE IT.

THANKS.

( music builds )

HAAKA BA SHTOOD, CHRISTO.

BEDLAKA JESUS.

BELAKA BE SHTADD.

( screaming )

( whips snapping )

AAAAAAAGHHHHH !!!

AAAAAHGHHGGH !!!

AGHAGAHGGHGH !!!

AAAHGH !!

NON !

NON-NON !

NO-AAAHGHGHHGG !!!

BLEAH !

HOW... ?

HOW COULD THE JEWSDO THAT TO JESUS ?

PRETTY BRUTALISN'T IT ?

KINDA MAKES YOU WANT TOCHANGE YOUR LIFE, HUH ?

( doorbell rings )

MOM, DOORBELL !!

( ding-dong )

MOM ANSWER THE DOOR !!!

( ding-dong )

GODDAMN IT,LAZY-ASS WHORE.

YOU WERE RIGHT...

YOU WERERIGHT ALL ALONG.

I THOUGHT YOUWERE JUST AN ASSHOLE

WHEN YOU RIPPED ON JEWS,BUT -- I DIDN'T KNOW-

I DIDN'T KNOW !

IT'S OKAY KYLE.

IT'S OKAY... JUST

SAY THATFIRST PART AGAIN ?

YOU WERE RIGHT ?

MMM, ONE MORE TIME, KYLE ?

YOU WERE RIGHT.

I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ALL THEBLESSINGS YOU HAVE BROUGHT ME.

YOU HAVE SHOWN ME THE WAY SOMANY TIMES IN THE PAST, AND...

NOW YOU ARE MAKINGALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE.

YOU GIVE ME STRENGTHWHERE THERE IS DOUBT.

AND I PRAISE YOUFOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE.

ONLY YOU, MEL GIBSON, HAVE HADTHE WISDOM AND THE COURAGE

TO SHOW THE WORLD THE TRUTH.

FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,

I WILL DEDICATE MY LIFETO MAKING SURE

YOUR FILM IS SEENBY EVERYONE.

I WILL ORGANIZE THE MASSES SOTHAT WE MAY DO THY BIDDING.

HAIL, MEL GIBSON.

AMEN.

AGHGHG...

HAGHGHGHGH...

KILL HIM !

KILL JESUS !

KILL HIM !

ARRRRGGGH !

KILL HIM !

KILL JESUS !

AARGHGHGH !

HA HA HAAAA !

AAAHGHGGH !

MEL GIBSON BIO,MEL GIBSON NEWS-

MEL GIBSON HOME PAGE-HERE WE GO.

"WELCOME TO MEL GIBSON'STHE PASSION DOT COM.

"YOUR SOURCE FOREVERYTHING MEL.

PICTURES, PHILOSOPHY,UPCOMING PROJECTS..."

DAMMIT, NO PHONE NUMBER.

OH WAIT - "FOR MOREINFORMATION ON MEL GIBSON

CALL THE WEBMASTER AT1-800-431..."

OKAY, WAIT HERE WE GO...

( dialing )

( ring )

MEL GIBSON'STHE PASSION FAN CLUB.

HI, UH, MY FRIEND AND I JUSTWENT TO SEE "THE PASSION"...

UH-HUH- SO YOU WANT TOJOIN THE FAN CLUB NOW.

OUR FIRST MEETING ISTOMORROW AT 5:30 p.m.

NO, NO, WE WANTOUR MONEY BACK.

WHAT ?

WE THINK THE MOVIE SUCKED

AND WE WANT MEL GIBSON TO GIVEUS BACK OUR EIGHTEEN DOLLARS.

DO YOU KNOW HOW WE CANGET IN TOUCH WITH HIM ?

YOU THOUGHT IT SUCKED ?

SIR, APPARENTLY YOU DON'TUNDERSTAND WHAT MEL GIBSON

WAS TRYING TO DO.

HE WAS TRYING TO EXPRESS,THROUGH CINEMA,

THE HORROR AND FILTHINESSOF THE COMMON JEW.

IT HAS MADE PEOPLE THE WORLDOVER OPEN THEIR EYES.

LOOK KID, WE JUST THOUGHTIT WAS A BAD MOVIE,

SO TELL US HOW TOGET IN TOUCH WITH MEL GIBSON

SO WE CANGET OUR MONEY BACK.

IF I KNEW WHEREMEL GIBSON WAS

I'D BE DOWN ON THE FLOORLICKING HIS BALLS

AT THIS VERY MOMENT, SIR.

ALL I KNOW IS HE LIVESSOMEWHERE IN MALIBU.

NOW STOP WASTING MEAND MEL GIBSON'S TIME

YOU WUSSY LITTLE PRICK.

HEY, DON'T TAKE THATTONE WITH ME, KID

I'LL KICK YOUR ASS.

OH YEAH ?

I'D LIKE TOSEE YOU TRY, ASSHOLE.

I'M LIKE SIX FEET TALL !

I DON'T CARE YOU SOUND LIKEA LITTLE BITCH TO ME !

BITCH, DON'T CALL ME BITCH I'LLPOP YOUR F--KING HEAD OPEN !

YEAH, YOU WANNA BRING IT,YOU LITTLE PUSSY ?

I ALREADYBROUGHT IT, BITCH !

BROUGHT IT, SET IT DOWN ONTHE TABLE AND OPENED IT, BITCH.

WAIT A MINUTE...

CARTMAN ?

COME ON, KENNY,WE'RE GOING TO MALIBU !

MALIBU-- BUT HOW ?

WE'LL TAKE THE BUS !

LOOK, THIS ISN'T ABOUTTHE $18 TICKET MONEY ANYMORE.

THIS IS ABOUT BEING ABLETO HOLD BAD FILMMAKERSRESPONSIBLE.

THIS IS LIKE WHEN WE GOT OURMONEY BACK FOR "BASEKETBALL".

( ♪ humming merrily )

ERIC, SWEETIE, THERE'SA BUNCH OF PEOPLE

SHOWING UPIN OUR BACKYARD

SAYING SOMETHINGABOUT A MEETING ?

YEAH, MOM, I'MHOLDING A MEETING

FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED"THE PASSION" AS MUCH AS I DID.

OH THAT'SGREAT, SWEETIE.

TELL THEM I SHALLBE DOWN SHORTLY.

OKAY, HON.

TOTEN SIE DIE JUDEN !

WIR KONNEN NICHT STILLSTEHEN,BIS SIE ALLE TOT SIND !

OKAY, I'M READY...

I AM READY TO DOTHY BIDDING, MEL GIBSON.

NO, ACTUALLY, WE'REGUESTS AS WELL !

I'M JACK GARRET ANDTHIS IS MY WIFE, ELISE.

HELLO !

I THINK IT ISSO GREAT

THAT SOMEBODY TOOKTHE INITIATIVE

TO HAVE A MEETINGLIKE THIS !

OH, I AGREE !

THERE ARE SO MANY OF US WHOWERE MOVED BY "THE PASSION" !

IT'S A PERFECT IDEATO HAVE US ORGANIZE

SO WE CAN STRENGTHENTHE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY !

AND APPARENTLY THE ORGANIZERIS JUST AN EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY

WHO WAS TOUCHEDBY THE FILM.

LEAVE IT TO A CHILD TOSHOW US ALL THE WAY, HUH ?

YEAH, SO, I SEE THIS ADON THE INTERNET SAYING

IF YOU LOVED "THE PASSION"TO COME TO THIS MEETINGSO HERE I AM !

IT'S GREAT THAT EVERYONECAME HERE TO FIGURE OUT

HOW TO USE "THE PASSION" TOENRICH EVERYONE'S LIVES !

UH, HELLO, EVERYONE.

ACHTUNG !

MY NAME IS ERIC CARTMAN,AND I AM THE PRESIDENT OF

THE MEL GIBSON FAN CLUB.

( applause )

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

I'M HAPPY TO SEETHAT ALL OF YOU

WERE AFFECTED BY"THE PASSION" LIKE I WAS.

NOW, WE ALL KNOWWHY WE'RE HERE...

AND I BELIEVE WE ALL KNOWWHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

WE SURE DO !

BUT I THINK IT'S BEST WEDON'T TALK OUT LOUD ABOUT IT

UNTIL WE HAVE MOST OF THEMON THE TRAINS

HEADING TO THE CAMPS.

WHAT DOES THATMEAN, SWEETIE ?

I'M NOT SURE, UH -

FOLKS I JUST WANT TOINTERRUPT FOR A SECOND

AND SAY HOW REMARKABLE IT ISTHAT THIS LITTLE BOY

BROUGHT US ALL TOGETHER !

"THE PASSION" IS CAUSING AREVOLUTION OF SPIRITUALITY

AND WE OWE MEL GIBSON ANDTHIS LITTLE BOY OUR THANKS.

THANK YOU,THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

NOW, IN ORDER TO DO WHATWE ALL KNOW NEEDS TO BE DONE

WE ARE FIRST GOING TONEED MORE SUPPORT.

I THINK WE SHOULD ALL GO OUT

AND TAKE AT LEAST ONE OTHERPERSON TO SEE "THE PASSION".

OH, WHATA GREAT IDEA !

WE EACH MAKE ITOUR RESPONSIBILITY

TO CONVERTONE MORE PERSON !

YEAH !GREAT !GOOD IDEA !

YES... AND THEN WE CANBEGIN "THE CLEANSING"

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WE SURE DO !

ALRIGHT !WOO-HOO !YEAH !

THANK YOU.

THIS MUST BETHE PLACE.

GODDAMN, MEL GIBSONMUST BE LOADED !

( doorbell ringing )

YES ?

HI, MY NAME IS STAN,AND THIS IS KENNY.

HELLO.

WE SAW YOUR MOVIE, "THE PASSION"AND WE DIDN'T LIKE IT

SO CAN WE HAVEOUR MONEY BACK PLEASE ?

YOU CAN'T NOTLIKE "THE PASSION" !

I JUST FOLLOWEDTHE BIBLE !

CHRIST DIED FOR YOU !

GO HOME.

LOOK, DUDE,WE CAME A LONG WAY.

WE'RE NOT LEAVING UNTILYOU GIVE US OUR MONEY !

OH YEAH WELL, YOU'LLHAVE TO FIND IT FIRST !

BUT I WON'T TELL YOUWHERE I KEEP MY MONEY.

YOU CAN TORTURE MEALL YOU WANT

Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALI STILL WON'T TELL YOU !

TORTURE YOU ?

AH, SO YOU DO INTENDTO TORTURE ME, HUH !

WELL, GO AHEAD !

DO YOUR WORST !

YOU STILL WON'T GETYOUR TICKET MONEY BACK !

I CAN TAKE WHATEVERYOU CAN DISH OUT !

WE DON'T WANTTO TORTURE YOU.

I GET IT, BUT YOU DON'THAVE A CHOICE, IS THAT IT ?

WELL, GO AHEAD.

I JUST HOPE YOU DON'T USE THOSEWHIPS OVER THERE ON THE WALL !

DUDE, CAN WE PLEASEJUST HAVE $18 BACK FROM YOU ?

I HAVE TO USE THAT MONEYTO BUILD MY CHURCH !

I'VE BROUGHT THEFIRE AND BRIMSTONE

BACK TO CHRISTIANITYWITH "THE PASSION"

AND NOW I'M GONNASTART MY OWN CHURCH.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHY ?

SO I CAN PLAY BANJO !

♪ JESUS, OHHOW I LOVE YA ♪

♪ HOW I LOVE YA, JESUS

DUDE, THIS GUYIS FREAKIN' DAFFY !

HOW DARE YOUCALL ME CRAZY !

THIS MEANS WAR !!

WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO !!

( gunshots )AAAAH !!!!

HOO HOO !

HOO HOO !

THAT GOD SENT HIS ONLY SONDOWN FROM HEAVEN

TO DIE FOR OUR SINS.

OKAY, BUT DID GODSEND JESUS TO DIE

OR DID JESUS JUST GETKINDA SCREWED OVER ?

WHAT IS TROUBLINGYOU MY CHILD ?

WELL, I HAVETHIS FRIEND, SEE...

AND THIS FRIENDBELONGS TO A CERTAIN

"CHOSEN PEOPLE OF ISRAEL"

AND, IT SO HAPPENS THAT THESECHOSEN PEOPLE KILLED YOUR LORD.

AH, YOU MEANHE'S A JEW.

RIGHT.

BUT HE CAN'T LIVEWITH THE GUILT ANYMORE.

BECAUSE EVEN IF JESUS WASN'TREALLY THE SON OF GOD

HE WAS STILL A NICE GUY,

AND DIDN'T DESERVE WHAT HAPPENEDTO HIM IN MEL GIBSON'S MOVIE !

I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT--

I MEAN "MY FRIEND"CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT !

YES, "THE PASSION"IS VERY POWERFUL.

THE TRUTH IS, THERE'S NOTA WHOLE LOT IN THE BIBLE

ABOUT THE CRUCIFIXION

"THE PASSION" WAS ACTUALLYDONE AS A PERFORMANCE PIECE

BACK IN THE MIDDLE AGES TOINCITE PEOPLE AGAINST THE JEWS.

BUT HOW CAN THE JEWSMAKE IT BETTER ?

WELL IF YOU REALLY CAREABOUT YOUR FRIEND'S SOUL

THEN PERHAPS SHOW HIMTHE WAY OF JESUS.

REMEMBER, CHRISTIANITYIS ABOUT ATONEMENT.

WAIT- THAT'S IT...

ATONEMENT !

OF COURSE !

I KNOW WHATI HAVE TO DO NOW !

THANK YOU, FATHER !

HOORAY !HOORAY !HOORAY !

ONE MONTH AGO TODAY, THISAMAZING FILM OPENED IN THEATERS.

AND NOW, WE PROUD FEWGATHER HERE AS A PEOPLE

BROUGHT TOGETHERBY ITS MESSAGE !

FELLOW FANS OF MEL GIBSON

OUR NUMBERS HAVE GROWN,AND NOW TOGETHER,

WE HAVE THE POWERTO CHANGE THE WORLD !

NOW, I BELIEVE WE SHOULDTAKE TO THE STREETS !

AND MARCH IN UNWAVERING SUPPORTOF THIS IMPORTANT MOVIE !

OOH, GREAT IDEA !

IT'LL BE LIKE A PARADE !

YEAH !GREAT IDEA !I LOVE PARADES !

AND AS WE MARCH FOR"THE PASSION"

WE SHOULD ALSOVOICE OUR SUPPORT.

SO WHEN I SAY"ES IST ZEIT, ZU SAUBERN"

YOU ALL CHANT BACK,

"WIR MUSSEN DIEJUDEN AUSROTTEN !"

WHAT DOESTHAT MEAN, DEAR ?

Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALIT'S ARAMAIC !

YOU KNOW,LIKE IN THE MOVIE !

OOH, ARAMAIC, COOL !

FANTASTIC !NEAT-O !ARAMAIC IS GREAT !

OOH, WHAT WAS OURARAMAIC LINE AGAIN ?

WIR MUSSENDIE JUDEN AUSROTTEN !

WIR MUSSEN--DIE JUDEN AUSROTTEN !

EST IS ZEIT FUR RACHE !

WIR MUSSENDIE JUDEN AUSROTTEN !

OOH THIS IS FUN !

ALRIGHT EVERYONE !

FORWARD... MARCH !

ES IS ZEIT FUR RACHE !

WIR MUSSENDIE JUDEN AUSROTTEN !

ES IS ZEIT FUR RACHE !

WIR MUSSENDIE JUDEN AUSROTTEN !

NICE.

SHALOM, HACK NEG SHALOM.

AND NOW, ONE OF OUR FINE YOUNGSHLAKAS, KYLE BROFLOVSKI,

HAS ASKED IF HE COULDSPEAK TO THE CONGREGATION.

THANK YOU, RABBI.

IN 1973 THE UNITED STATESOFFICIALLY ISSUED AN APOLOGY

TO THE AFRICAN AMERICANCOMMUNITY FOR SLAVERY.

IN 1956, GERMANY OFFICIALLYAPOLOGIZED FOR WORLD WAR TWOAND THE HOLOCAUST.

AND NOW I BELIEVE IN 2004THE JEWISH COMMUNITY

NEEDS TO APOLOGIZEFOR THE DEATH OF JESUS.

WHAT ?

WHAT WHAT WHAAAAT ?

IF WE AS A PEOPLECHOOSE NOT TO BELIEVE

THAT JESUSIS THE SON OF GOD,

THEN WE CANSTILL APOLOGIZE

FOR THE BRUTAL WAYIN WHICH HE WAS KILLED,

AND TAKE OUR SHAREOF THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT.

OH MY GAWD !

KYLE, WHAT ON EARTHHAS GOTTEN INTO YOU ?

I SAW "THE PASSION" !

OH NO !

"THE PASSION" ?

THIS PROVES THE HORRIBLEANTI-SEMETIC EFFECT

THAT MOVIE IS HAVING !

YEAH, IT MAKES JEWSINTO STEREOTYPES.

STEREOTYPING JEWSIS TERRIBLE !

SOMETHING MUST BE DONETO STOP THAT MOVIE !

NOW, NOW, EVERYONECALM DOWN.

WE LIVE INA RATIONAL COMMUNITY

AND EVERYONE KNOWSTHIS IS JUST A MOVIE.

THERE IS NO CAUSEFOR ALARM.

( crowd outside )WIR MUSSENDIE JUDEN AUSROTTEN !

ES IS ZEIT FUR RACHE !

WIR MUSSENDIE JUDEN AUSROTTEN !

ES IS ZEITFUR RACHE !

WIR MUSSENDIE JUDEN AUSROTTEN !

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKEWITH THESE BUS TICKETS

WE SPEND ABOUTEIGHTY SEVEN DOLLARS

GETTING OUR MONEY BACKFROM MEL GIBSON.

BUT I THINK IT'S THE PRINCIPALOF THE THING THAT MATTERS.

YEAH, I AGREE.

( horn honking )

OH, YOU GOT TO BESH---N' ME.

GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY !

GODDAMN,THAT GUY'S CRAZY !

HEY, DUDE,YOU GOTTA SPEED UP.

HUH ?

MEL GIBSON IS CHASING AFTER US,YOU GOTTA GO FASTER.

HA HA VERY FUNNY, KID.

SIT DOWN ANDSTOP PLAYING GAMES.

I'M NOT PLAYING GAMES !

MEL GIBSON IS RIGHT BEHIND YOUAND HE'S-- !

WHAT THE HELL--

KAPLAAA !!!

KAPLAAAAA !

HEY, THAT'S MEL GIBSON !

YEAH, I TOLDYOU THAT !

WELL WHAT THE HELLDOES HE WANT ?

WELL HE WOULDN'T GIVE US OURMONEY BACK FOR "THE PASSION"

SO WE KIND OF TOOK IT.

YOU DIDN'T LIKE"THE PASSION" ?

BUT IT SHOWS HOW CHRISTSUFFERED FOR YOU !

MEL GIBSON IS A VERYSPIRITUAL MAN !

YOU GUYS STOP !

PLEASE !

YOU'RE GOING TO MAKEPEOPLE HATE US MORE !

CAN I HELP YOU ?

THIS MOVIE IS CAUSINGANTI-SEMITISM !

YOU MUST REMOVE ITFROM YOUR THEATER !

THAT'S RIGHT !YEAH !

REMOVE IT FROMTHE THEATER ?

FAT CHANCE !

WE DEMAND YOUSTOP SHOWING IT !

YEAH !THAT'S RIGHT !

NO, DON'T BECOMEAN ANGRY MOB !

THE LAST TIME WE DID THATWE KILLED JESUS !

JUDEN !

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE ?

THEY'RE TRYING TO HAVE"THE PASSION"

PULLED FROM THE THEATER !

THIS FILM IS ANTI-SEMETICAND IT MUST BE STOPPED !

NONSENSE, MEL GIBSONIS A SMART, SPIRITUAL MAN !

THERE IS NOTHINGANTI-SEMETIC ABOUT IT !

IT HAS REAFFIRMED ALLOF OUR FAITH IN CHRIST !

ITS MADE ONE OF OURLITTLE JEWISH BOYS

WANT TO APOLOGIZEFOR THE DEATH OF JESUS.

WELL... MAYBE YOUSHOULD APOLOGIZE !

THAT'S RIGHT !YEAH !UH-HUH !

HOW DARE YOU !

LOOK OUT !

GRAAAAAAGAHGGHHH !

BALALALA !

GIVE ME MYEIGHTEEN DOLLARS !

MEL GIBSON !

OH MEIN SAVIOR !

MEIN FUHRER !

YOU'RE ACTUALLY HERE !

MR. GIBSON - I HAVEASSEMBLED THE MASSES !

WE ARE READYTO DO THY BIDDING !

HAVE I BEENA GOOD BOY, MR. GIBSON ?

SO... !!

YOU BOYS HAVE LED ME HERETO YOUR SECRET BASE, HUH ?

I GUESS NOW YOU'RE GOING TOSTART TO TORTURING ME !

AGH !

AH, MY NIPPLESTHEY'RE SO TENDER

DON'T SQUEEZE THEM ANYMORE !

THAT'S...MEL GIBSON ?

HE'S NOT QUITE ASELOQUENT AS I HAD PICTURED.

I'LL BET YOU WANNATORTURE ME NOW, DON'T YOU !

DUDE, WHAT'SWRONG WITH HIM ?

HE'S CUCKOO, DUDE.

HE'S ABSOLUTELYOUT OF HIS MIND.

YOU-- YOU WOULD ALL LOVE TOTORTURE ME WOULDN'T YOU ?

OKAY FINE !

SEE WHAT YOU CANFIT IN THERE !

I CAN TAKE IT !

DUDE, I'VE BEEN FREAKED OUTTHIS WHOLE TIME

BECAUSE OF THAT GUY'S MOVIE ?

FINE !

IF NOBODY HERE ISMAN ENOUGH TO TORTURE ME

THEN JUST GIVE MEMY EIGHTEEN DOLLARS !

IT'S OUR EIGHTEEN DOLLARS,YOUR MOVIE SUCKED !

YOU CAN'T SAYMY MOVIE SUCKED

OR ELSE YOU'RE SAYINGCHRISTIANITY SUCKS !

NO DUDE, IF YOU WANT TO BECHRISTIAN THAT'S COOL

BUT YOU SHOULD FOLLOWWHAT JESUS TAUGHT

INSTEAD OF HOWHE GOT KILLED.

FOCUSING ONHOW HE GOT KILLED

IS WHAT PEOPLE DIDIN THE DARK AGES

AND IT ENDS UPWITH REALLY BAD RESULTS.

YOU KNOW...HE'S RIGHT, ELISE.

WE SHOULDN'TFOCUS OUR FAITH

ON THE TORTURE ANDEXECUTION OF CHRIST.

YEAH, LOTS OF PEOPLE GOTCRUCIFIED IN THOSE TIMES.

WE SHOULDN'T RELY ONVIOLENCE TO INSPIRE FAITH.

AW NO, COME ON PEOPLE !

WE'RE SO CLOSE TO COMPLETINGMY FINAL SOLUTION !

OH DUDE, I FEEL SO MUCHBETTER ABOUT BEING JEWISH

NOW THAT I SEETHAT MEL GIBSON

IS JUST A BIGWHACKO DOUCHE.

BLLLLPTTT !!

WOO-HOO-HOO !

WOO-HOO-HOO-HOO !