EVERYONE, STOP,PLEASE !
THE-- THE CHILD.
THE CHILDFROM THE HOSPITAL !
IF YOU ALL DON'T MIND, I WOULDLIKE TO DO MY REPORT NOW.
I KNOW WHAT THEFOUNDING FATHERS WOULD SAY.
HE DOES ?
HE DOES ?
I LEARNEDSOMETHING TODAY.
THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED BYSOME OF THE SMARTEST THINKERS
THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN.
AND THEY KNEWONE THING:
THAT A TRULY GREAT COUNTRYCAN GO TO WAR
AND AT THE SAME TIMEACT LIKE IT DOESN'T WANT TO.
YOU PEOPLEWHO ARE FOR THE WAR--
YOU NEED THE PROTESTORS
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL
IT'S MADE OF SANE,CARING INDIVIDUALS.
AND YOU PEOPLEWHO ARE ANTI-WAR--
YOU NEED THESEFLAG WAVERS
BECAUSE IF OUR WHOLECOUNTRY WAS MADE UP
OF NOTHING BUT SOFT,PUSSY PROTESTORS
WE'D GET TAKEN DOWNIN A SECOND.
THAT'S WHY THE FOUNDING FATHERSDECIDED WE SHOULD HAVE BOTH.
IT'S CALLED HAVING YOUR CAKEAND EATING IT TOO.
HE'S RIGHT.
THE STRENGTH OF THIS COUNTRYIS THE ABILITY
TO DO ONE THINGAND SAY ANOTHER.
YEAH, IF IT WEREN'T FORALL YOU GUYS PROTESTING
EVERYONE AROUND THE WORLDWOULD HATE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
INSTEAD OFJUST THE PRESIDENT.
AND IF IT WEREN'T FORYOU PEOPLE FLEXING YOUR ARMS
AMERICA COULD EASILY GET TAKENOVER BY TERRORISTS, OR CHINA.
I GUESS WE OWE YOUAN APOLOGY.
I GUESSWE OWE YOU ONE.
( everyone )AW...
CARTMAN ?CARTMAN SAVED THE DAY ?
IT CAN'T BE.
THE FOUNDING FATHERSWANT YOU ALL TO KNOW
THAT WE CAN DISAGREEALL WE WANT,
AS LONG AS WE AGREETHAT AMERICA KICKS ASS.
♪ HEY, I'M A LITTLEBIT COUNTRY ♪
♪ AND I'M A LITTLE BITROCK N' ROLL-A ♪
♪ I'LL BE THEMUSCLE OF AMERICA ♪
♪ AND ME, I'LL BETHE CARING SOUL ♪
♪ WHEN YOUPUT US TOGETHER ♪
♪ YOU GET A NATIONWITH ONE GOAL ♪
♪ TO THRIVE AND PROSPER
♪ WITH A LITTLE COUNTRYAND ROCK N' ROLL ♪
COME ON UP HERE,EVERYBODY !
♪ WE'RE A LITTLEBIT COUNTRY ♪
♪ WE'RE A LITTLE BITROCK N' ROLL ♪
WE CAN BE A NATIONTHAT BELIEVES IN WAR...
AND STILL TELLS THE WORLDTHAT WE DON'T.
♪ LET THE FLAG FOR HYPOCRISYFLY HIGH FROM EVERY POLE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE'REA LITTLE BIT COUNTRY ♪
♪ AND WE'RE A LITTLE BITROCK N' ROLL ♪
WELL, GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY,
IT SURE HAS BEEN GREATBRINGING YOU 100 EPISODES.
WE WANNA THANK OUR GUESTS,THE PRO-WAR PEOPLE...
( applause )
AND THE ANTI-WARPEOPLE.
WHAT THE HELLARE THEY DOING NOW ?
I DON'T KNOW.
♪ FOR THE WARAGAINST THE WAR ♪
♪ WHO CARES ?100 EPISODES ♪♪
I HATE THIS TOWN,I REALLY, REALLY DO.
TO PROTEST THE WAR, M'KAY !
( applause )
DON'T KID YOURSELVES !
THESE PEOPLE HAVE COME OUT TOSUPPORT OUR TROOPS, RIGHT ?!
( applause )
AND NOW, RANDY MARSH ISGONNA SING A PROTEST SONG
HE WROTE ABOUT THE WAR--
OH NO, YOU DON'T !
WE'RE DOING OURPRO-WAR SONG FIRST !
YEAH ! THE LAST THINGTHESE PEOPLE WANT
IS ANOTHER BLEEDING-HEARTROCK PROTEST SONG !
PEOPLE, I TOLD YOU,YOU HAVE TO SHARE THE STAGE.
NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ANOTHERPRO-WAR COUNTRY SONG !
WELL, EXCUSE ME IF--
♪ I'M A LITTLE BITCOUNTRY ♪
♪ WELL, I'M A LITTLE BITROCK N' ROLL-A ♪
♪ I'M A LITTLE FORSUPPORTIN' OUR TROOPS ♪
♪ AND I'M A LITTLE FORBRINGIN' 'EM HOME ♪
♪ I BELIEVE FREEDOMISN'T FREE ♪
♪ NO, BUT WARSHOULDN'T BE OUR GOAL ♪
♪ WE MUST DEFENDOUR COUNTRY ♪
♪ IF IT MEANS WARTHAN WE SAY NO ♪
♪ DID YOU FORGET THEMTOWERS IN NEW YORK ? ♪
♪ DID YOU FORGETHOW IT MADE YOU FEEL ♪
♪ TO SEE THEMTOWERS COME DOWN ? ♪
♪ WERE YOU LIKE MEDID YOU THINK ♪
♪ IT WEREN'T REAL ?
♪ I LIKE TO ROCK, BUT I DON'TWANT TO ROCK IRAQ ♪
♪ THE ONLY KIND OF ROCKIN'AMERICA SHOULD DO ♪
♪ IS THE KIND THAT WECAN ALL DANCE TO ♪
♪ WE'VE GOT G.P.S.I.C.B.M.s ♪
♪ AND GOODOL' FASHION LEAD ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA SHOW SADDAMWHAT AMERICA MEANS ♪
♪ THAT SON OF A BITCHWILL BE DEAD ♪
♪ WHY ARE WEFIGHTIN' THIS WAR ? ♪
♪ THERE'S A MAN IN THE OFFICEWE DIDN'T VOTE FOR ♪
♪ THEY DIDN'TGIVE ME A CHOICE ♪
♪ WAR IS NOT MY VOICEYEAH ♪
ARE PRETTY PLEASEDWITH YOURSELVES--
GOING OUT THEREAND PROTESTING AMERICA
AND THEN SAYING ONNATIONAL TELEVISION
THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOWWHO THE FOUNDING FATHERS ARE !
YOU KIDS DON'T KNOW SQUATABOUT AMERICA, DO YOU ?!
WELL, NOT REALLY, NO.
WELL, THAT'S JUST JINGLES.
BECAUSE I'M ASSIGNINGALL YOU LITTLE FLAG-BURNERS
A FULL REPORT ON 1776AND THE FOUNDING FATHERS !
( all )AWWW !
SHUT UP !
I WANT YOU ALL IN YOURSTUDY GROUPS OF FOUR,
AND IF YOU CAN'T GIVE ANOUTSTANDING REPORT
ON WHAT THE FOUNDING FATHERSWOULD HAVE TO SAY
ABOUT ALL THIS PROTESTING,THEN IT'S "F"s FOR YOU !
( bell rings )
EH...
EH HEH...
I CAN'T DO IT.
THIS IS WAY TOO MUCHMATERIAL FOR A 9-YEAR-OLD.
YEAAGH !
OH, NO YOU DON'T,CARTMAN !
EVERY TIME WE GET PUTIN A STUDY GROUP
YOU SIT ON ASS WHILE THEREST OF US DO ALL THE WORK !
BUT YOU GUYS ARE SUCHBETTER STUDIERS THAN ME.
I KNOW YOU CANPULL IT OFF.
YOU'RE GONNA READ THIS STUFFAND STUDY LIKE THE REST OF US !
MYAAA ! MYA !
SHUT UP AND STUDY !
MYAAAA,MYA, MYA.
HMM, 1776,
WHEN OUR FOUNDING FATHERSCREATED AMERICA.
I WONDER WHAT IT USED TOBE LIKE IN THOSE DAYS.
IN THOSE DAYS.IN THOSE DAYS.
IN THOSE DAYS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
I'M TRYING TO HAVEA FLASHBACK.
A WHAT ?
YOU KNOW, IF I HAVEA FLASHBACK
THEN I CAN SEE WHAT 1776WAS LIKE FIRSTHAND.
NO, YOU JUSTHAVE TO STUDY.
NO, I'VE SEEN THISWORK BEFORE,
JUST GIVE ME A SECOND.
OH, OKAY,HOW ABOUT THIS ?
SAY, GUYS,1776 WAS SO LONG AGO,
I WONDER WHAT LIFE WOULDHAVE BEEN LIKE BACK THEN.
BACK THEN.BACK THEN.
BACK THEN.
OH WAIT, I KNOW--
YOU KNOW, GUYS, I DON'TEVEN CARE ABOUT 1776 !
IT WAS SO LONG AGO
THAT I DON'T THINK IT HASANYTHING TO DO WITH ME.
WITH ME.WITH ME.
ANYTHING TO DOWITH ME, WITH ME.
THAT ISN'T GONNA WORK,DUMB-ASS !
KIDS, LET'S KEEP IT DOWNFOR STUDY GROUPS
OR ELSE MR. GARRISON'SGOING TO PUNISH ME.
JUST FACE IT, CARTMAN, YOU'REGOING TO HAVE TO STUDY !
MYAAA !MYA, MYAAA !
DID YOU TAKE ATTENDANCE,MR. SLAVE ?
ALL "DONESY-WONSEY".
OKAY, LET'S ALL TAKE OUTOUR MATH HOMEWORK
AND GO OVER THE PROBLEMS.
MATH HOMEWORK,MATH HOMEWORK...
WHERE DID I FILE THAT ?
OH, AND BY THE WAY,CHILDREN,
THERE'S A WALKOUTSCHEDULED TODAY
TO PROTEST THE WARIN IRAQ.
SO, UH, IF YOU'RE AGAINSTTHE WAR, RUN ALONG OUTSIDE.
AND IF YOU'REFOR THE WAR, UH,
STAY HERE AND WE'LL DOMATH PROBLEMS.
( cheering )
♪ WE GOTOUT OF SCHOOL ♪
♪ NO MORE SCHOOL TODAY
WHAT SHOULD WE DO ?
LET'S GO SEE A MOVIE !
( crowd chanting )NO WAR ! NO WAR ! NO WAR !...
NO WAR, M'KAY !NO WAR, M'KAY !
OH, HERE YOU GO, BOYS,THESE WILL HELP YOU PROTEST.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE THAT YOU CAREABOUT PEACE, BOYS, M'KAY.
NO WAR, M'KAY !
EXCUSE ME, BOYS,TOM STATZL, HBC NEWS--
CAN YOU TELL ME WHY YOU KIDSMARCHED OUT OF SCHOOL TODAY ?
UH... WAR ?
RIGHT, WHAT ABOUTTHE WAR ?
IT, IT'S...
IT'S GAY.
UH-HUH, AND WHAT ASPECT OF ITDO YOU THINK IS MOST GAY ?
UH, NO BLOOD FOR OIL !
YEAH, WAR IS NOTMY VOICE.
BUSH IS A "NAY-ZEE".
HEY ALL YOUUN-AMERICAN BASTARDS !
IF YOU DON'T LIKE AMERICA,WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT ?
YEAH !
DON'T YOU CALL USUN-AMERICAN !
THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ONTHE RIGHT TO PROTEST, M'KAY !
YEAH !
IF THE FOUNDING FATHERSSAW YOU BURNING YOUR FLAG
AND CALLING THE PRESIDENTA NAZI,
THEY'D ROLL OVERIN THEIR GRAVES !
YEAH !YEAH !
THE FOUNDING FATHERS WOULD AGREEWITH OUR RIGHT TO PROTEST.
THE FOUNDING FATHERS WOULDKICK ALL YOUR ASSES !
BOYS, WHAT DO YOU THINK THEFOUNDING FATHERS WOULD SAY ?
THE FOGGY WHO ?
FROM NOW ON, THIS ISTHE PRO-WAR SIDE OF THE TOWN
AND THAT'S THEUNPATRIOTIC SIDE.
YEAH !THAT'S RIGHT !
HOW ABOUT WE CALL THISTHE RATIONAL SIDE OF TOWN
AND THAT THEREDNECK SIDE !
( laughter )
YOU JUST KEEP ALLYOUR FLAG BURNING
AND YOUR HIPPIE ROCK PROTESTSONGS ON YOUR SIDE OF THE TOWN !
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
YOUR SIDE OF TOWNHAS THE POST OFFICE.
WELL, YOUR SIDE HASTHE GROCERY STORE.
YOU CAN COME TO OUR SIDETO USE THE POST OFFICE
IF WE CAN COME TO YOUR SIDETO USE THE GROCERY STORE.
UH, CAN WE CROSS THE LINE TOTAKE OUR KIDS TO SCHOOL ?
WELL, NATURALLY YOU CANCROSS THE LINE FOR THAT,
JUST LIKE WE CAN CROSS FORHARDWARE SUPPLIES, GAS
AND PHARMACEUTICAL NEEDS.
YEAH, OKAY,YEAH, SURE.
HEY EVERYBODY, THIS ISNEVER GONNA WORK.
DON'T YOU SEE ?
ALL THIS DIVIDIN' UP THE TOWN--IT'S JUST RIDICULOUS.
WHAT WE REALLYSHOULD BE DOING
IS JUST BEATING THE HELL OUT OFEACH OTHER LIKE WE WERE.
HE'S RIGHT.
BOY, DO I FEELLIKE A FOOL.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TOBE STUDYING !
THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.
I'M ABOUT TO FIND OUTALL ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
BACK IN 1776.
HOW ?
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS BE THINKINGABOUT AMERICAN HISTORY
WHEN I WALK THROUGHTHIS DOORWAY.
I'LL TRIP THE ROPE, CAUSINGTHE ROCK TO FALL ON MY HEAD,
AND THEN I WILLHAVE A FLASHBACK
TO THE TIMES OF OURFOUNDING FATHERS !
CARTMAN, YOU ARE HEREBY DECLAREDA FULL-FLEDGED RETARD.
HA-HA, MAKE FUN OF MEALL YOU WANT, KYLE,
BUT I WILL HAVETHE LAST LAUGH.
GENTLEMEN, IF YOU WILL CLEARTHE DOORWAY, PLEASE ?
( clears throat )
OH, GEE, I WONDER WHAT ITUSED TO BE LIKE
IN THE YEAR 1776 ?
EH !
DERH.DERH...
CARTMAN ?CARTMAN !
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN ?
NO, TURD PANTS,IT'S KYLE !
KYLE.
GET-OUT-OF-MY-FLASHBACK,YOU-GOD-DAMN-JEW.
OKAY, PEOPLE, WHAT ARE WERABBLING ABOUT NOW ?
MAYOR, OUR PEACE RALLY
HAS ALWAYS BEEN SETFOR THIS SATURDAY,
AND NOW THESEPRO-WAR BASTARDS
ARE SUDDENLY TRYING TO SAYTHEY GET THE TOWN SQUARE.
THAT'S BULLCRAP, MAYOR !
OUR RALLY TO SUPPORT THE WARWAS SETUP MONTHS AGO.
THERE WAS NO WARMONTHS AGO !
HEY, IF YOU DON'T LIKE AMERICATHEN YOU CAN GET OUT !
LOOK, NOBODY WANTS TO HEARA BUNCH OF TWANGY
COUNTRY MUSICPRO-WAR PROPAGANDA !
NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR A BUNCHOF ROCK PROTEST SONGS !
YEAH !
UP YOURS, REDNECKS !
RABBLE, RABBLE,RABBLE !
QUIET, PEOPLE !
THE TOWN SQUAREIS PUBLIC SPACE.
THAT MEANS IF NEITHER GROUPWILL NICELY AND MATURELY
MOVE THE DAY OF ITS RALLY,
I'LL JUST HAVE TO GIVE THETOWN SQUARE TO BOTH GROUPS.
ALRIGHT, THAT'S FINE,
BECAUSE OURWAR SUPPORT SONGS
WILL BE A THOUSANDTIMES BETTER !
OH, YOU THINK SO ?BRING THE SHIZZLE.
WE'LL TRIZZLE THAT SHIZZLEALL OVER THE HIZZLE.
YEAH ?
SEE YOU SATURDAY, McKIZZERSHANIZZERNILLA SHNAZZ
BEYAZNATCH KAZIZZA.
YOU BETTER BE STUDYING,GOD DAMMIT.
AH, STAN, KYLE, KENNY--YOU'RE JUST IN TIME.
OH, NO.
OH YES ! I AM JUSTABOUT TO FLASHBACK
TO THE DAYS OF OURFOUNDING FATHERS.
CARTMAN, YOU'RE SUPPOSEDTO BE STUDYING !
WHAT THE HELLIS ALL THIS ?!
I HAVE PROGRAMMED TIVO
TO RECORD OVER 50 HOURSOF THE HISTORY CHANNEL.
WHEN THE TIVO IS FULL,BOTH TIVO AND I WILL BE
DROPPED INTO THE WATER,
COMBINING OURELECTRO-WHATEVER FIELDS,
AND SENDING ME INTOA FLASHBACK OF HISTORY.
UH, CARTMAN, I THINK THAT'SA REALLY BAD IDEA.
OR A REALLY SWEET ONE.
( ding )Your Tivo is full.
OH, HERE IT GOES !
CARTMAN ?
CARTMAN ?
AW, CRAP.
OH, AWESOME !
OY THERE,YOUNG LAD !
ARE YOU ALRIGHT ?
YEAH, YEAH, CAN YOUTELL ME WHAT YEAR IT IS ?
THIS YEAR ?
WHY, IT'S 1776,IT IS.
OH YES !I DID IT, I DID IT !
WOULD YOU LIKE A RIDEINTO TOWN ?
I'M ON MY WAY TO MASTERTHOMAS JEFFERSON'S HOUSE
TO GET A VERY IMPORTANTDOCUMENT, I AM.
OH, KICK ( bleepin' )ASS, DUDE !
NEVER SEEN YOUAROUND 'ERE, FRIEND.
MIGHT YE BE FROMUP NORTH ?
NO, I'M NOT FROM HERE AT ALL,I'M HAVING A FLASHBACK.
A FLASHBACK ?WHY, WHAT IS THAT ?
WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S A--OH, AWESOME !
♪ LOOK AT MEI'M BACK IN TIME, IN 1776 ♪
♪ WITH GASLIGHT CORNERSCOBBLESTONE STREETS ♪
♪ AND HUMBLE HOUSESMADE OF BRICKS ♪
♪ WHAT A SPECIALMAGIC TIME ♪
♪ AND IT'S ALLALIVE FOR ME ♪
♪ I'M SO GLADSTAN AND KYLE AREN'T HERE ♪
♪ I HATE THOSE GUYSSERIOUSLY ♪
♪ SERIOUSLY HATETHOSE GUYS ♪
♪ HATE THOSE GUYS ♪
IS HE GOING TO BEALRIGHT, DOCTOR ?
YOUR SON TRIED TOKILL HIMSELF
IN A RITUALISTIC FASHIONI'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
HIS CHANCES OF SURVIVINGARE VERY SLIM.
I'M SO SORRY.
OH BABY, BABY,YOU CAN'T DIE !
YEAH, WE HAVE A REPORTTO DO, ASSHOLE !
GET UP !GET UP !
OOH, EASY, KYLE.
BUT IT'S NOT FAIR !
WE HAVE TO DO A FULL REPORTON THE FOUNDING FATHERS
AND CARTMAN GOT OUT OFHELPING US AGAIN !
I GUESS WE'RE JUSTGONNA HAVE TO DO IT
WITH THE THREE OF US.
COME ON, GUYS.
I KNOW YOU'RE IN A VERY DARKPLACE NOW, SWEETIE,
BUT YOU MUST COMETOWARD THE LIGHT.
COME TOWARD LIGHT !
'ERE WE ARE, THEN,
THE CURRENT RESIDENCE OFMASTER THOMAS JEFFERSON !
SUPER NEAT-O !
I'M AFRAID YOU'LLHAVE TO WAIT HERE.
BUT I NEED TO TALK TOTHE FOUNDING FATHERS
TO DO MY REPORT.
SORRY, ONLY THEOFFICIAL MESSENGER BOY
IS ALLOWED TO TALK TOMR. JEFFERSON.
OH, OKAY,I GUESS I UNDERSTAND.
♪ I DON'T WANNA WAIT
♪ FOR OUR LIVESTO BE OVER ♪♪
( screaming )
HELLO, I AMTHOMAS JEFFERSON.
AND I AM THE OFFICIALMESSENGER BOY, I AM !
VERY WELL, TAKE THIS DOCUMENTTO THE CONTINENTAL CONGRESS.
WOW, THE DECLARATION OFINDEPENDENCE DAY.
SOME FAVOR GOING TO WARWITH ENGLAND
AND OTHERS WANT TOAVOID WAR AT ALL COSTS.
IT'S A BITCH, AIN'T IT ?
PERHAPS THIS DOCUMENT WILLMAKE THE REASONS FOR WAR
OBVIOUS TO ALL.
GOOD LUCK, YOUNG MESSENGER,NOW MAKE HASTE !
THEN THE CONTINENTALCONGRESS--
NO WAR !NO WAR !
NO WAR !
OH, JESUS.
UH, BOYS, WOULD YOU MINDCLEARING THE LIVING ROOM ?
WE HAVE TO PRACTICE OURBIG WAR PROTEST SONG.
DAD, WE HAVE TO STUDY !
MR. GARRISON IS MAKING USDO A PRESENTATION
ON WHAT THE FOUNDING FATHERSWOULD SAY ABOUT THE WAR.
HEY, THAT'SA TERRIFIC IDEA !
YEAH !
WE COULD HAVE THE BOYSDO THEIR PRESENTATION
AS PART OF OUR PEACE RALLYON SATURDAY !
OH, NO.NO, NO, NO, NO.
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS !SUPPORT OUR TROOPS !
SEE ? I TOLD YOUTHEY HAD YOUR SON !
KENNY !
WHAT ARE YOU DOINGOVER HERE WITH ALL THESE
UN-AMERICAN TRAITORS ?
I'M DOING MYHOMEWORK.
THE BOYS ARE GOING TO GIVEA PRESENTATION AT OUR RALLY
ABOUT HOW THE FOUNDINGFATHERS WOULD AGREE
WITH OUR RIGHTTO PROTEST.
WHAT ?
ACTUALLY, WE HADN'TREALLY COME TO A--
LOOK, MY SON IS A PATRIOTAND LOVES HIS COUNTRY !
COME ON, KENNY !
BUT DAD--NOW !
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS !SUPPORT OUR TROOPS !
OH, KENNY, NO--AW, AW.
AW, NOW WE LOST TWOIN OUR STUDY GROUP !
GOD DAMMIT !
CAN YOU BELIEVE THOSEHICK SONS A BITCHES ?
MANIPULATING THEIR KIDSINTO BEING ON THEIR SIDE !
DISGRACEFUL !
STAN AND KYLE, IT'S UP TO YOUTO SHOW ALL THOSE WAR MONGERERS
THAT THE FOUNDING FATHERSAGREE WITH US !
( man )YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT,LET'S GET BACK TO WORK.
DO YOU THINK KIDSIN EVERY TOWN
HAVE TO DEAL WITHTHIS CRAP ?
( man )ENTER, YOUNG MESSENGER !
I AM JOHN HANCOCK,PRESIDENT OF THE CONGRESS.
WOW !
MR. JOHN ADAMS ?
AYE.
WILL YOU DO THE HONORS OFREADING THE DOCUMENT
TO CONGRESS, PLEASE ?
WHEN IN THE COURSEOF HUMAN EVENTS,
IT BECOMES NECESSARYFOR ONE PEOPLE TO...
WE MUTUALLY PLEDGETO EACH OTHER,
OUR LIVES OUR FORTUNESAND OUR SACRED HONOR.
P.S. EVERY THURSDAY SHOULD BEFREE ICE CREAM DAY.
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALDECLARATION ACTUALLY SUGGEST
THAT WE SHOULD GO TO WARWITH ENGLAND ?
WE HAVE NO CHOICE,MR. DICKENSON.
( shouting )
WE MUST GO TO WAR !
BUT WHAT ABOUTTHE VIOLENCE,
THE LIVES LOST ?
IF WE FOUND A COUNTRY
IT SHOULD BE FOUNDED ONPEACE AND DIPLOMACY !
ENGLAND WILL ONLY UNDERSTANDONE THING-- FORCE.
I MUST STATE AGAINFOR THE RECORD
THAT SOUTH CAROLINA,NORTH CAROLINA,
PENNSYLVANIA, MARYLAND ANDGEORGIA ARE AGAINST WAR !
YEAH, BECAUSEYOU DON'T CARE ABOUT
THE FATE OF THE COLONIESLIKE WE DO.
YOU'RE ALL UNPATRIOTIC !
IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE COLONIES,THEN YOU CAN GET OUT !
DON'T YOU CALL USUNPATRIOTIC !
WE ARE PROTESTINGTHIS WAR BECAUSE
WE CARE SO DEEPLY FORTHE FATE OF OUR COLONIES !
YOU ARE ALL UNPATRIOTICFOR LEADING THE COLONIES
INTO A WAR THATHALF OF THEM DON'T WANT !
( shouting )
WHOA, HOW VERY,VERY RELEVANT.
TOM, I'M STANDINGIN THE TOWN SQUARE
WHERE THE WAR RALLYHAS BEEN GOING ON
FOR AN INCREDIBLE87 HOURS.
THE CROWD STILL APPEARS TOSPLIT RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE.
HALF SUPPORT COUNTRY MUSIC ANDTHE OTHER HALF ROCK N' ROLL.
LET'S LISTEN IN.
AND NOW WE'D LIKE TO BRING OUTA COUPLE OF VERY SPECIAL
SOUTH PARK STUDENTS
WHO DID A REPORT ONWHAT THE FOUNDING FATHERS
WOULD HAVE TO SAYABOUT THE WAR.
( applause )
( all )BOO !
FOR YOU PEOPLE WHO STILLTHINK WAR IS THE ANSWER,
PERHAPS YOU CAN LISTEN TOTHE VOICES OF THE CHILDREN.
UH, WE DIDN'T DO IT.
WHAT ?
WE DIDN'T DOOUR HOMEWORK.
BOYS ! YOU WERE SUPPOSEDTO COME UP HERE
AND TELL EVERYONE ABOUTTHE FOUNDING FATHERS !
WELL, FIRST WE LOSTONE STUDY PARTNER
WHEN CARTMAN PUT HIMSELFIN THE HOSPITAL,
AND THEN THEYTOOK KENNY AWAY.
AND THEN KYLE FORGOT TOSET HIS CLOCK AHEAD
FOR DAYLIGHT SAVINGSAND WE COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING
IN THE HISTORY BOOKSABOUT IRAQ AND--
THAT'S BECAUSETHE FOUNDING FATHERS
WOULD HAVE SUPPORTEDTHE WAR !
THE FOUNDING FATHERS WOULDHAVE PROTESTED LIKE US !
SUPPORT !
PROTEST !
COUNTRY !
ROCK N' ROLL !
RABBLE ! RABBLE !RABBLE !...
WE CANNOT FOUND A COUNTRYBASED ON WAR !
WE CANNOT FOUND A COUNTRYTHAT IS AFRAID TO FIGHT !
RABBLE !
RABBLE !RABBLE !
( murmuring )
OH, BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.
IT'S MR. FRANKLIN.
OH, BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.FRANKLIN, FRANKLIN.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.
MR. FRANKLIN, WHERE DO YOUSTAND ON THE WAR ISSUE ?
I BELIEVE THAT IF WE ARETO FORM A NEW COUNTRY
WE CANNOT BE A COUNTRY THATAPPEARS WAR-HUNGRY AND VIOLENT
TO THE RESTOF THE WORLD.
HOWEVER, WE ALSOCANNOT BE A COUNTRY
THAT APPEARS WEAK ANDUNWILLING TO FIGHT
TO THE REST OF THE WORLD.
SO, WHAT IF WEFORM A COUNTRY--
THAT APPEARSTO WANT BOTH ?
YES.YES, OF COURSE.
WE GO TO WAR.
AND PROTEST GOING TO WARAT THE SAME TIME !
RIGHT !
IF THE PEOPLE OFOUR NEW COUNTRY
ARE ALLOWED TO DOWHATEVER THEY WISH
THEN SOME WILL SUPPORT THE WARAND SOME WILL PROTEST IT.
AND THAT MEANSTHAT AS A NATION
WE COULD GO TO WARWITH WHOMEVER WE WISHED
BUT AT THE SAME TIMEACT LIKE WE DIDN'T WANT TO.
IF WE ALLOW THE PEOPLE
TO PROTEST WHATTHE GOVERNMENT DOES,
THEN THE COUNTRY WILL BEFOREVER BLAMELESS !
IT'S LIKE HAVING YOUR CAKEAND EATING IT TOO.
THINK OF IT, AN ENTIRE NATIONFOUNDED ON SAYING ONE THING
AND DOING ANOTHER.
AND WE WILLCALL THAT COUNTRY
THE UNITED STATESOF AMERICA.
WOW !
I GET IT NOW !I GET IT !
WHOA, HERE IT GOES.
I WISH I COULDGO BACK TO MY TIME.
TO MY TIME.TO-TO MY TIME.
I'm a Little Bit Country
s07e01 April 09, 2003
When the boys join protesters to get out of school for a day, they find themselves in the middle of two opposing sides of the war issue.
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