WHAT THE HELL ?
HEY, WHAT THE HELLARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE ?
THIS IS FORMATURE PEOPLE ONLY.
WE GOT INVITED TOO,FAT ASS.
WELL I GUESS NOW-A-DAYSTHEY ALLOW ANY OLD SCHMUCKSINTO "NAMBLA".
FELLOW NAMBLA MEMBERS,
IT IS GREAT TO SEEYOU ALL HERE.
IT SEEMS THAT WE HAVEFINALLY FOUND A CITYTHAT WON'T OPPRESS US !
YEAH !YEAH !YEAH !
FIRST AND FOREMOST,I WANT TO RECOGNIZEERIC CARTMAN
WHO PUT US IN TOUCH WITHALL YOU PRETTY YOUNG BOYS.
THANK YOU,THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
NOW, I KNOW THAT MANY OF USHAVE ALREADY FOUND PARTNERSIN THIS FINE CITY
AND I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTETO HEAR SOME TESTIMONIALSFROM MEMBERS.
THIS IS BORING.YEAH.
HEY, WHEN ARE WE GOING TOGET TO SOME ACTION, HUH ?
OOOH !HA-HA !
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALGOODNESS,
WE'LL GET "TO IT" VERY SOON,I'LL ASSURE YOU.
BUT FIRST, I'D JUST LIKETO HEAR FROM A COUPLE OF YOUON YOUR PROGRESS.
YES, PATRICK.
I FOUND A LITTLE 8-YEAR-OLDNAMED BUTTERS,
HE'S A BEAUTIFULBRIGHT LITTLE BOY.
WELL, I SURE AM,I GUESS.
AND HIS SKIN IS AS SOFTAS FRESH LINEN.
OOH !OOH !OOH !
THAT SEEMSKIND OF WEIRD.
WELL, MY SKIN IS"SPRINGTIME" SOFT,I SUPPOSE.
WONDERFUL.
AND HOW ABOUT YOUMR. HARRIS ?
WELL, I WANT TO ANNOUNCETHAT I MAY HAVE FOUNDTHE DREAM BOY OF THE DECADE,
HE'S SEXY AND SASSYAND FULL OF SPUNK.
HIS NAME IS TIMMY.
TIMMY !TIM-MY ?
WELL, MEMBERS, I KNOWWE'RE ALL EAGER
TO GET ACQUAINTED WITHOUR NEW PARTNERS.
SO WHY DON'T WE TURN DOWNTHE LIGHTS AND START THE DANCE.
IT'S TIME FOR FOR US ALLTO RETIRE TO OURRESPECTIVE ROOMS
AND GET TO KNOWOUR NEW YOUNG BOYS.
ALL RIGHT !
DUDE, BEING MATUREIS BORING.YEAH !
EVERYONE COME UP ANDGRAB YOUR ROOM KEYSAND WE'LL HEAD UPSTAIRS.
AHHH !AHHH !AHHH !AHHH !
DUDE, I THINKTHESE GUYS MEAN TO HAVESEXUAL ENCOUNTERS WITH US !
I KNOW DUDE, LET'S GETTHE HELL OUT OF HERE !
AH ! THERE'S MOREOF THEM, QUICK HIDE !
OKAY, MARLON BRANDOS !
THEY'VE GOT TOBE HERE SOMEWHERE,LET'S TRY THIS ROOM.
LET'S GET THOSE PERVERTS.
AH !
SACRE BLEU !
WHOA !
AHHH !AHHH !
KENNY, NO !LEAVE ME ALONE !Mmm-hmm-mmm.
( grumbling )
KENNY !
THIS TIME I WILLNOT DROP THE FOOD.
WHERE ARETHE BOYS ?
SACRE BLEU !
I THINK THE BOYSWENT IN HERE.
AH !TIMMY !
( woof-woof )
MAYBE THE BOYSARE IN HERE, OH BOYS !
AH !
ALL RIGHT, YOU'REUNDER ARREST !
NO, YOU'VE GOTTHE WRONG "NAMBLA" AGAIN.
DAMMIT !
HEY, WE DIDN'TTRY THAT ROOM.
( ring-ring )
SACRE BLEU.
DUDE, WE'RESURROUNDED BY PERVERTS.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT,STUART ?
DON'T TOUCH ME.
I'VE HAD MY NUTS BROKEN,BODY POISONED
AND BEEN MADE LOVE TOIN THE ASS BY 3 DOZEN40-YEAR-OLD MEN.
I JUST WANT TO GO HOMEAND TAKE A HOT BATH.
WE'VE BEEN AFTER YOUFOR A LONG TIME, BUDDY.
DO YOU KNOWYOUR RIGHTS ?
RIGHTS ? DOES ANYBODYKNOW THEIR RIGHTS ?
YOU SEE, I'VE LEARNEDSOMETHING TODAY,
OUR FOREFATHERS CAMETO THIS COUNTRY BECAUSETHEY BELIEVED IN AN IDEA.
AN IDEACALLED FREEDOM.
THEY WANTED TO LIVEIN A PLACE WHERE A GROUP
COULDN'T BE PROSECUTEDFOR THEIR BELIEFS.
WHERE A PERSON CAN LIVETHE WAY HE CHOOSES TO LIVE.
YOU SEE US AS BEINGPERVERTED BECAUSE WE'REDIFFERENT THAN YOU.
PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF USBECAUSE THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND.
AND SOMETIMES IT'SEASIER TO PERSECUTETHAN TO UNDERSTAND.
DUDE, YOU HAVESEX WITH CHILDREN.
WE ARE HUMAN.
MOST OF US DIDN'TEVEN CHOOSE TO BEATTRACTED TO YOUNG BOYS,
WE WERE BORNTHAT WAY.
WE CAN'T HELPTHE WAY WE ARE,
AND IF YOU ALL CAN'TUNDERSTAND THAT, WELL,
THEN I GUESS YOU'LL JUSTHAVE TO PUT US AWAY.
DUDE, YOU HAVE SEX WITH CHILDREN.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, WE BELIEVEIN EQUALITY FOR EVERYBODY
AND ALL THAT GAY STUFF,BUT DUDE,
( beep ) YOU.SERIOUSLY.
ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH,YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BEPUT AWAY FOR A LONG TIME.
WELL, CARTMAN.WELL, WHAT ?
DON'T YOU THINK YOUOWE EVERYONE AN APOLOGYFOR BRINGING "NAMBLA" HERE ?
YEAH !YEAH !YEAH !
ALL RIGHT,ALL RIGHT.
I'M SORRY I ALMOST GOTYOU GUYS ALL RAPED, THERE.
AND NOW DO YOU STILL THINKYOU NEED TO HANG OUT WITHOLDER MATURE FRIENDS ?
NO, I GUESS YOU GUYS WILLBLOSSOM INTO MATURITY SOME DAY,
JUST DON'TTAKE TOO LONG.
OKAY, LET'S ROLL.
OKAY STAN, I'M GOINGTO GIVE YOU...
A "U.F.O.CRASH-LANDING" CARD,
YOU CAN DENY ITOR COVER IT UP.
DUDE, I DON'T UNDERSTANDTHIS GAME AT ALL.
IT'S "INVESTIGATIVE REPORTSOF BILL CURTIS FUN TIME GAME",
YOU HAVE TO DENY ITOR COVER IT UP.
UH, DENY IT.
OKAY, LET'S SEEWHAT BILL CURTIS SAYS.
Hello, I'm Bill Curtis.
many believe thatthe U. S. Government
covered it up,I'm Bill Curtis.
ALL RIGHT, CARTMAN,I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU...
A "JAIL TIME CARD",YOU LOSE A TURN.
SWEET.
OH YEAH, WELL, I'MGOING TO GIVE YOU...
AIDS.
WHAT ?
I JUST GAVEYOU AIDS.AIDS?
DUDE, THAT'S NOT COOL,DON'T GIVE KYLE AIDS.
KYLE HAS AIDS AND NOW LOSES47 TURNS AND 800 POINTS.
KENNY, YOUR DAD AND IARE THINKING ABOUTHAVING ANOTHER BABY.
WOULDN'T YOU LOVE TO HAVEANOTHER BROTHER OR SISTER ?
NO.
WE JUST MIGHTWORK ON IT LATER TONIGHT.
GODDAMMIT,POOR PEOPLE SUCK !
YOUR FAMILY ISALREADY ON WELFARE
AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO BRINGANOTHER KID INTO THE WORLD.
POOR PEOPLE ARETURNING OUT BABIES,ADDING ON TO OVER-POPULATION
AND EXPECTING ME TO PAYFOR IT WITH MY TAX DOLLARS.
YOU DON'T PAY TAX DOLLARS,CARTMAN, YOU'RE 8.
YOU SEE, THIS IS JUSTWHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT !
I CAN'T EVEN RELATE TOYOU GUYS ANYMORE BECAUSEYOU'RE TOO IMMATURE.
WHAT ?I'VE GOT TO STARTHANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS
THAT ARE A LITTLE MOREINTELLIGENT AND UNDERSTAND
POLITICS AND STUFF.
IT'S JUST THAT I'M UPON THIS LEVEL, UP HERE
AND ALL MY FRIENDSARE DOWN HERE.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RETALKING ABOUT, FAT ASS !
NO, NO, NO,ME, "NAH", YOU GUYS, "NAH".
MAYBE MORE DOWN,DOWN "NAH".
SCREW YOU GUYS,I'M GOING HOME !
I'm Bill Curtis.
I NEED TO MEETMORE MATURE PEOPLE,CLYDE FROG.
OH, GREAT IDEA,CLYDE FROG !
I CAN MEET NEW FRIENDSON THE INTERNET.
HERE'S A CHAT ROOM.
"MEN WHO LIKE YOUNG BOYS",THAT'S PERFECT !
WOW, LOOK AT ALL THESE GUYSTHAT WANT TO BE MY FRIENDS !
I'LL PICK TONY316.
HI, TONY.
OH, YOU KNOWTHE USUAL STUFF.
SMILEY FACE.
KEWL, WANNA GET TOGETHER ?SMILEY FACE.
SURE, TONY,THAT WOULD BE COOL.
WINKING SMILEY FACE.
SOUNDS GOOD,SEE YOU THEN !
CLOWN HAT, CURLY HAIR,SMILEY FACE.
YOU SEE THATCLYDE FROG !
TOMORROW I'M GOING TO MEETMY FIRST MATURE FRIEND.
YEAH, YOU'RE ERIC ?YEAH !
I BROUGHT YOUSOME CANDY.WOW, COOL !
AND SOME BOOKSON KAMA SUTRA.
NEATO, HAVINGOLDER FRIENDSKICKS ASS !
YOU SEE I'VE REALLYBEEN HAVING A TOUGH TIME,
I'VE KIND OF MATURED FASTERTHAN MY OTHER FRIENDS,
WE DON'T REALLYRELATE ANYMORE AND --
UH, ALL MY FRIENDS SEEMSO CHILDISH NOW, YOU KNOW.
DO YOU LIKE HAVINGYOUR BACK RUBBED ?
YEAH, THAT SEEMSREALLY NICE, THANKS.
HOLD IT RIGHTTHERE, SCUM BAG !
HUH ?
WE MONITORED YOUR LITTLE"ON-LINE CHAT",
NOW YOU'RECOMING WITH US.NO !
WHAT THE HELLJUST HAPPENED ?
( moaning )
YOUR MOM AND I ARE GOINGOUT FOR A FEW WEEKS, KENNY,TAKE CARE OF THE BABY.
KENNY, YOU HAVE TO CHANGETHE BABY'S DIAPERS !
YOU HAVE TO SHAREYOUR ROOM WITH THE BABY !
THE BABY, THE BABY,THE BABY !
HUUUH !
( giggling )STOP IT.
COME ON, LET'S GO TRY TOGET YOU PREGNANT AGAIN.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
Dad, I wantto play catch.
HUH ?
OH, I'LL PLAY CATCHWITH YOU LATER, SON.
I want to play now !
OH, GO AHEAD, WE CANMAKE LOVE AFTERWARDS.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, HERE COMESA POP FLY, SEE IF YOUCAN CATCH IT.
GOOD JOB,NOW THROW ME ONE.
OH !
( coughing & sputtering )
BLECH !
WHAT HAPPENED ?
HE SMACKED MEIN THE BALLS.
OH, OH !Woo-hoo !
BLECH !
THIS ONE LOOKS GOOD,"HUNG DADDY".
HELLO, HUNG DADDY !
DAMN DUDE, THIS GUY IS TINY,HE MUST BE A DWARF.
SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTEDIN BEING FRIENDSWITH MIDGETS.
FROWNY FACE.
HOW ABOUT THIS ONE ?
MR. HAMMER HEAD ?
HI, THERE.
MR. GARRISON !AHH, ERIC !
YOU WANT TO BEMY FRIEND ?OH, CRAP !
THAT'S COOL, WE CAN HANG OUT,WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FIRST ?
NOTHING, NOTHING !
ALL RIGHT, SCUM BAG,WE GOT YOU.
HEY, AH!
GOOD THINGYOU GUYS CAME.
THIS LITTLE BOY WAS TRYINGTO HAVE HIS WAY WITH ME.
NICE TRY, BUDDY, WE MONITOREDYOUR LITTLE "ON LINE CHAT",
NOW YOU'RECOMING WITH US.NO !
WHY THE HELL DOESTHE F.B.I. KEEP ARRESTINGALL MY FRIENDS ?
THIS HAS TO BE THE WORKOF STAN AND KYLE.
GOD, I HATETHOSE GUYS !
THOSE AREDIALYSIS MACHINES.
OLD PEOPLE HAVE TOHOOK THEMSELVES INTO ITWITH A TUBE
AND IT SUCKS ALLTHEIR BODY FLUIDS OUT.
OH, MAN,THAT'S TERRIBLE !
I KNOW, HUH ?
PUT YOUR MOUTH AGAINSTTHE GLASS, LIKE THIS.
WAH !
YEAH,HAAA !
BLEH-LEH-LEH-LEH !
WHA-LA-LA-LA-LA !
ALL RIGHT, JUST WHATTHE HELL DO YOU GUYSTHINK YOU'RE DOING ?
WE'RE MAKING FACESAT SICK PEOPLE.
NO ! I MEAN WHATTHE HELL ARE YOU DOING ?
WHY ARE ALL MY MATUREADULT FRIENDS BEINGMYSTERIOUSLY ARRESTED, HUH ?
WE DON'T KNOW.
I'LL TELL YOU WHY !
BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE JEALOUSAND CAN'T HANDLE THE FACTTHAT YOU'RE IMMATURE,
SO YOU STARTEDA GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACYAGAINST ME !
WE DON'T KNOW WHATYOU'RE TALKING ABOUT,LARD BUTT.
LARD BUTT, OH,THAT'S SO MATURE.
GOD, I GUESS I WAS WRONGABOUT YOU GUYS, HUH ?
YOU'RE NOT MOREMATURE THAN US, CARTMAN.
YES, I AM !
WELL, THE F.B.I SAIDI HAVE TO HOLD YOU HERE,
SO THAT'S WHAT I'M GOINGTO DO, MR. COMPLAINY-PANTS.
OH !
DO YOU LIKE HAVINGYOUR BACK RUBBED ?
EAT ME, PERVERT.
OKAY.
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALWE DEMAND YOU RELEASE
WHO ARE YOU ?
WE ARE "NAMBLA",
THE NORTH AMERICAN MAN-BOYLOVE ASSOCIATION
AND WE HEARD ABOUTTHESE POLITICAL PRISONERSYOU'RE KEEPING.
POLITICAL PRISONERS ?NO, THESE ARE CHILD MOLESTERS.
LOVING YOUNG BOYSHAS BEEN AROUND SINCETHE TIME OF THE ROMANS, PAL.
THERE'S NOTHINGWRONG WITH IT !
WE ARE AN ORGANIZATIONDEDICATED TO SHOWING
THAT SEX BETWEENA MAN AND A YOUNG BOYCAN BE A BEAUTIFUL THING !
YEAH !YEAH !
UH, I DON'T KNOWWHO YOU ARE,
BUT THESE MEN AREN'TGOING ANY WHERE UNTILI HEAR FROM THE F.B.I.
HATE MONGERER !HATE MONGERER !
( chanting )HATE MONGERER, YEAH.
OKAY, PEOPLE, I THINKYOU'D BETTER MOVE ALONGBEFORE I ARREST MORE OF YOU.
ALL THESE MEN WANTEDWAS TO LOVE A YOUNG BOY,
THERE IS NOTHINGWRONG WITH LOVE.
I DID NOT WANT LOVEFROM A YOUNG BOY,
I LIKE MENMY OWN AGE.
AH ! I MEAN--
I LIKE WOMEN,WHAT DID I SAY ?
OH GOD,I LOVE TITTIES !
YOU HAVEN'T HEARDTHE LAST OF US, OFFICER.
TOGETHER WE ARE STRONG.COME ON, MEN !
( mumbling )YEAH !YEAH !
WELL, THEY GOT ACTIVISTSFOR EVERYTHING THESE DAYS.
I'VE SUCCESSFULLY GENE-SPLICEDTHIS CHIPMUNK WITH A PIECEOF PROVOLONE CHEESE.
DO YOU KNOW WHATTHIS MEANS, KEVIN ?
NO MORE WILL THE WORLDHAVE TO LOOK INTWO DIFFERENT PLACES
FOR SQUIRRELS ANDPROVOLONE CHEESE.
NO MORE WILL MANKINDHAVE TO PICK--( ding-dong )
WHO COULD THAT BE ?
WHY, IT'S LITTLEERIC CARTMAN.
DOCTOR MEPHESTO,I NEED HELP.
OF COURSE,COME IN.
SEE, UNFORTUNATELY,I HAVE MATURED FASTERTHAN ALL MY FRIENDS.
I WANT TO HANG OUTWITH OLDER FRIENDS,BUT I CAN'T FIND ANY.
SO I WAS WONDERINGIF YOU CAN GENETICLY ENGINEERSOME OLDER FRIENDS FOR ME.
OH, ERIC, I'M AFRAIDIT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.
GENETIC ENGINEERINGHAS NOT YET EVOLVEDTO THE STATE
WHERE I CAN JUSTMAKE PEOPLE.
DAMN IT, BUT I WANT TOHANG OUT WITH OLDER GUYS !
OH, WELL,I HAPPEN TO BEA MEMBER OF AN ORGANIZATIONTHAT CAN HELP YOU.
IT'S CALLED "NAMBLA"."NAMBLA" ?
YES, I'VE BEEN A MEMBERFOR SEVERAL YEARS.
I'M SURE THEY'LL LET YOU JOIN,YOU LOOK ABOUT RIGHT.
OKAY, THANKS,DOCTOR MEPHESTO !SURE.
AS YOU KNOW, WE CONTINUETO BE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST.
RECENTLY THE F.B.I.HAS STARTED TO ARREST MEN
WHO ARE DOING NOTHING MORETHAN THAN TRYING TO START
A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPWITH A YOUNG BOY.
OH !OH !OH !
AND NOW THAT ALL ETHNIC GROUPS,HOMOSEXUALS AND WOMEN
ARE PROTECTED UNDERCIVIL RIGHTS LAWS,
WE WANT THE SAME !
YEAH !YEAH !YEAH !
WHAT WE NEED IS PROOFTHAT YOUNG BOYS WANT TOBE MEMBERS OF "NAMBLA".
THAT THEY WANTLOVE FROM US.
WE NEED A POSTER CHILD.
TO SHOW THE WORLD THATIT IS A BEAUTIFUL ANDWONDERFUL THING--
OOOOH... !
CAN WE HELP YOU ?
YES, I'D LIKE TO JOINYOUR FINE ORGANIZATION,IS THAT COOL ?
YOU DO ?SURE.
THANK YOU,THANK YOU, JESUS !
SWEET.
WHAH !
BLEH !BLEH !
LE-LE-LE-LE !Buh !
WELL, KENNY,THE DOCTOR CONFIRMED IT.
I'M PREGNANT !
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVEA LITTLE BROTHER OR SISTER.
( gasp )
YUP, IT'S FOR SURE.
AND HE FIXED MY SHATTEREDLEFT TESTICLE, TOO.
DON'T BE OUTTOO LATE, KENNY.
WE NEED TO START MOVINGSTUFF OUT OF YOUR ROOM.
WOW, YOUR MOM'SPREGNANT, KENNY !
YEAH, NOW WHAT AREYOU GOING TO DO ?
I don't know, but I have tothink of something !
♪ NYAH-NYAH-NYAH
♪ NYAH-NYAH-NYAH
♪ I GOTINTO "NAMBLA" ♪
♪ AND YOU GUYS DIDN'T ♪
WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT, FAT ASS ?
OH, NO BIG DEAL,I JUST FOUND A GROUPCALLED "NAMBLA"
WITH ADULT MEMBERS ANDTHEY ALL THINK I'M SO MATURE
THEY WANT ME TO BE THEIRNEW POSTER CHILD, IS ALL.
IT LOOKS LIKE I'M FINALLYGOING TO HAVE MATURE FRIENDSWHO I CAN RELATE TO.
♪ NYAH-NYAH-NYAHNYAH-NYAH-NYAH ♪
♪ I'M TOO MATUREFOR YOU GUYS ♪
♪ NYAH-NYAH-NYAHNYAH-NYAH-NYAH ♪♪
( muffled mumbling )
OH, YOU WANT "MORNING AFTER"ABORTION PILLS.
WELL, THEY'RERIGHT OVER THERE.THANKS !
I'M SORRY,YOUNG LADY,
BUT I CAN'T SELL THATTO YOU WITHOUT PERMISSIONFROM YOUR PARENTS.
WELL, ALL RIGHTY THEN,CASH OR CHARGE ?
Cool.
Look, Mom, I made yousomething to drink.
OH, WELL, THAT'SVERY SWEET OF YOU KENNY,
YOU MADE MY FAVORITEDRINK FOR ME.
Yeah.
BUT, UNFORTUNATELY,NOW THAT I'M PREGNANTI CAN'T DRINK.
WELL, I COULDSTILL DRINK.No, Daddy.
OH, THAT HITSTHE SPOT.
MAKES ME FORGET ALL ABOUTMY SHATTERED BALLS.
WHAT, WHAT'STHE MATTER ?
WHY DON'T YOU GOMAKE ME ANOTHER ONE OF--
OH !
WHAT'S THE MATTER ?Uh-oh !
OH GOD, I'M GONNACRAP MY PANTS !
OH, GOD !( bodily noises )
OH, MY BALLS.
BLECH !
( more noises )
OH, GOD !
( even more bodiliy noises )
YOU MAKE A PERFECTPOSTER CHILD.
THANKS, DUDE.
HEY ERIC, WE HAVEA SURPRISE FOR YOU.
WE WANT YOU TO HAVEA BIG DINNER AND DANCE
HONORING YOU ASOUR NEW POSTER CHILD.
REALLY, AWESOME !
YES, AND WE WANT YOUTO, UMM...
INVITE ALL YOURYOUNG MALE FRIENDS.
OH, YES.AWW !
WELL, SURE,I HAVE SOME FRIENDSWHO WANT TO BE MATURE
excluding Stan and Kyle,of course.
GREAT, NOW YOU GO ANDINVITE YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS
AND WE'LL GETTHE HOTEL READY.
KICK ASS !.
SO WE CAN PAINT ITFOR THE BABY !
( announcer on television )Hey, are you feeling down,you need some excitement !
and North Park Funland hasjust opened its newest ride,
"The John Denver Experience" !
You'll be"Rocky Mountain High"with this,
The most extreme,insane ride ever built !
IT WAS FUN.
Note: People withheart conditions andexpectant mothers
should not ride"The John Denver",open now, come on down !
Mom !
ARE YOU SURE YOU SHOULD BEGOING ON THIS THING.
OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, I THINK KENNY'SBEEN A LITTLE WORRIEDABOUT THE BABY,
WE HAVE TO SHOW HIM THATHE'S STILL OUR LITTLE BOY.
( distorted mumbling )
WHAT'D HE SAY ?
( screaming )
WHOA!
( screaming )
( distorted mumbling )
OH GOD, MY NOSE,I THINK I BROKE MY NOSE.
COME ON STUART, LET'S JUSTGET YOU TO A BATHROOM.
OH, I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT,I'M GOING TO BE SICK.
OH, MY STOMACH.
OH, MY NOSE.
GROSS.
MY "NAMBLA" ORGANIZATIONIS HAVING A VERY IMPORTANTBENEFIT IN MY HONOR.
THEY ARE ?
WE'RE GOING TO HAVEA BIG MATURE PARTYAT THIS HOTEL
AND I CAN INVITE ALLMY MATURE FRIENDS THAT I WANT.
AND THAT MEANS I'M GOINGTO INVITE EVERYBODY,
EXCEPT FORYOU GUYS !
♪ NYAH-NYAH-NYAHNYAH-NYAH-NYAH ♪
WE DON'T WANT TO GO TO SOMESTUPID ADULT MEETING ANYWAY.
WELL, THAT'S NICE,BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GO.
WE DON'TWANT TO GO.
YOU CAN'T GO.
WE DON'T WANTTO GO.
NO, YOU CAN'T GO.
HEY CLYDE, BUTTERS,CHECK THIS OUT !
DUDE, MAYBE WE DO NEED TOSTART BEING MORE MATURE.
YEAH, I GUESS WE'VEGOT TO TRY TO GETIN THAT CLUB, TOO.
YOU'RE DOING FINE,MS. McCORMICK.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, KENNY.
COME SEETHE MIRACLE OF LIFE.
( splat )EWWW!
I CAN SEE HIS HEAD.YOU CAN ?
PUSH NOW,PUSH HARD !
( splat )
OH, MY GOD !
( screaming )
WHAT IS IT !
IT'S ALIVE !
OH, MY GOD !IT KILLED KENNY !
BAD BABY, BAD !
Hmm ?
That does it !
OH, HI KENNY,WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
WHAT ARE YOUDOING KENNY ?
KENNY, WHAT ARE YOUGOING TO PLUNGE ?
Grrrrr !
AHHHH !
KENNY, WHAT THEHELL ARE YOU DOING ?
GOT IT !
FELLOW NAMBLA MEMBERS,
AS THE SOUTH PARKREPRESENTATIVE--
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE !NOBODY MOVE !
WHAT'S GOING ON ?
ALL RIGHT, SICKOS,WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN ?
WHAT CHILDREN ?
THIS IS "NAMBLA",RIGHT ?YES.
"THE NORTH AMERICANMAN-BOY LOVE ASSOCIATION".
WHAT ? NO !
WE'RE "THE NORTH AMERICANMARLON BRANDO LOOK-A-LIKES."
OH CRAP, WE'VE GOTTHE WRONG "NAMBLA".
OH, DAMN IT, I'MIN THE WRONG PLACE !
DON'T TELL ME THAT OTHER "NAMBLA" IS ACTUALLY IN SOUTH PARK.
YOU KNOW OF THEM ?
WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING WITH THEMFOR YEARS OVER THE RIGHTSTO "NAMBLA.COM".
YEAH, THOSEPERVERTED BASTARDS !
WOW, YOU GUYS REALLY DO LOOK A LOT LIKE MARLON BRANDO.
THANK YOU.
NOW, LET'S GO GET THOSEOTHER "NAMBLA" BASTARDS
BEFORE THEY HURT ANYSOUTH PARK CHILDREN !
YEAH !YEAH !YEAH !
AND LET'S KICK THEIR ASSESFOR STEALING OUR DOMAIN NAME !
YEAH !YEAH !YEAH !
TIMMY !
WHAT ARE WEGOING TO DO ?
WELL, CARTMAN, YOU GOTEVERYBODY INTO THIS,
YOU GOTTA FIGURE A WAYTO GET EVERYBODY OUT.
YEAH !YEAH !YEAH !
UHH, THAT'S FINE.
I KNOW HOWTO GET US OUT.
HOW ?
WELL, LOOK THOSE PERVERTSAREN'T GOING TO REST
UNTIL THEY'VE MADE LOVETO ONE OF US, RIGHT ?
SO SOMEBODY IS JUST GOINGTO HAVE TO GO OUT THERE
AND TAKE ONEFOR THE TEAM.
AND I THINK IN ALL FAIRNESS,IT SHOULD BE BUTTERS.
HUH, WELL,WHY ME ?
ARE YOU A TEAM PLAYEROR NOT ?
YEAH, SURE, I'MA TEAM PLAYER, I GUESS.
WELL, BUTTERS THERE ISNO "I" IN TEAM.
YOU MEAN YOU EXPECT METO GO OUT THERE AND LETALL THOSE HORNY OLD MEN
HAVE THEIR WAY WITHMY FRAGILE PERSON ?
JUST WHAT TEAMIS THIS ANYWAY ?
JUST GO BUTTERS,WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
OH, ALL RIGHT THEN.
HE'S SUCHA DUMB ASS.
ALL RIGHT MEN,HERE I COME.
I'M READY TOTAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM.
KENNY, KENNY,I'VE HAD ENOUGH OFYOUR SHENANIGINS !
OOH, ONE OF THE BOYSJUST CAME IN !
I GET HIM FIRST !
WHAT THE-- ?
OH NO !AHHHHH !
OUR LITTLE ANGEL,YES.
OH, HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL !
I KNOW IT'S BEENHARD ON BOTH OF US,LOSING POOR KENNY.
BUT THIS KNEW BABYKINDA REMINDS ME OF HIM.
WHAT SHOULDWE NAME HIM ?
WELL, SEEING AS THOUGHKENNY PASSED AWAY,
MAYBE WE SHOULDNAME HIM...
KENNY.
YES, KENNY IS SUCHA GREAT NAME.
MY LITTLE KENNY,A BRAND NEW KENNY.
( gurgling )
GOD, THIS MUST HAVE BEENTHE 50th TIME THISHAS HAPPENED.
52nd.
Cartman Joins NAMBLA
s04e06 June 21, 2000
Cartman goes online to find older friends when he decides that Stan, Kenny and Kyle are too immature to be his friends.