MAN, THIS STUFF IS STRONG.
IT'S KIND OF BITTER.
WHAT IF MY PARENTSGO OUT OF BUSINESS ?
WHAT'LL I DO ?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
BUT WE'LL STARVEAND DIE LIKE DOGS !
TWEEK, TWEEK, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO ON WELFARE.
LOOK AT KENNY'S FAMILY...
THEY'RE PERFECTLY HAPPYBEING POOR AND ON WELFARE, RIGHT, KENNY ?
( mumbling )
YOU SUCK, KENNY !
LET'S JUST TRY TO FINISH ALL THIS COFFEE, SO WE CAN STAY UP.
WOO HOO !
YES !THIS STUFF ROCKS !
TOTALLY DUDE !I FEEL AWESOME !
WHOOPEE !
YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS !
SERIOUSLY !
CHECK ME OUT ! I'M A SORCERER !
CHECK IT OUT, GUYS !
HEY, TWEEK ! DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE OF THIS STUFF ?
WE JUST HAVE GROUNDS.
HEY, LET ME HAVE SOME GROUNDS !
GROSS, CARTMAN !
WHOOOPPPEEEE !!
OH, MY STOMACH HURTS.
YEAH, MINE TOO.I WONDER WHY.
IT'S 3:30 AND I DON'T SEE ANY GODDAMNED UNDERPANTS GNOMES.
AGH !
MAYBE IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD !
MAYBE I'M GOING INSANE !
OH NO, I'M GOING INSANE !
THIS IS JUST GREAT, WE HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANYTHING DONE,
AND WE'RE TOTALLY SCREWED !
HOW'S THE REPORT GOING, BOYS ?
BAD.
DO YOU NEED SOME MORE COFFEE ?
NO-MORE-COFFEE.
WELL, BOYS, I DON'T MEAN TO PRY BUT...
IF YOU WANT IT, I WROTE YOUR REPORT FOR YOU.
( all together )YOU DID ?!
YES, IT'S ALL ABOUTCORPORATE TAKEOVERS.
OF COURSE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE IT.
NO, WE'LL USE IT !
ALRIGHT, AND IT CAN BEOUR LITTLE SECRET
ABOUT WHO WROTE IT, RIGHT ?
( Stanly )SURE !
WHEN YOU GIVE THE REPORT, JUST MAKE SURE
THAT YOU READ THIS PART FIRST, ALRIGHT ?
THERE THEY ARE !
AND THEN, SOMEONE SHOULDDO THE SECOND PART
AND REALLY, REALLYPLAY IT UP.
REALLY PLAY THE SYMPATHY ANGLE, THEY'LL LIKE THAT.
YOU'LL PROBABLY GET A PASSING GRADE FOR THAT.
YOU GUYS, LOOK, LOOK,YOU'RE MISSING IT !
♪ WE WON'T STOP UNTILWE HAVE UNDERPANTS ♪
AGH ! THEY TOOK 'EM AGAIN !
THANKS, DUDE !
MY PLEASURE, GOODNIGHT BOYS.
WOW TWEEK, YOUR DAD ROCKS.
WHY DO THEY TORTURE ME LIKE THIS ?!
WHY CAN'T THEY LEAVE ME ALONE ?!
DAMNIT, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, TWEEK ?
THEY TOOK MY UNDERPANTS AGAIN.
SOON THEY'LL WANT MY BLOOD...
BLOOD !
GOOD !
MAKE SURE THAT SIGN IS REALLY BRIGHT AND FLASHY NOW !
MY GOODNESS, THAT'S GOING TO BEA HUGE COFFEEHOUSE, HONEY.
YES IT IS.
THEY REALLY HAVE MY BALLSIN A JUICE-MAKER.
OH HELLO, SON !
HOW DID YOUR REPORT GO ?
WAH !
I THINK IT WENT REALLY GOOD.
THOSE PEOPLE REALLY GOT INTO IT.
REALLY ?
YOU MIGHT HAVE JUST SAVED THE FAMILY BUSINESS !
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT ?
I NEED COFFEE !
I KNOW HOW YOU BOYS FEEL.
SOMETIMES A HOT CUPOF FRENCH ROAST AMARETTO
IS JUST WHAT A MAN NEEDS TO GET HIM THROUGH THE DAY.
THAT SMOOTH AROMAAND MILD TASTE
IS WHAT MAKES TWEEK COFFEE SO VERY SPECIAL...
SPECIAL LIKE AN ARIZONA SUNRISEOR A JUNIPER WET WITH DEW...
A LIGHT RAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF A DUSTY AFTERNOON,
OR A HUG FROM YOUR DEAR OLD AUNTIE--
DAD !
WHAT ?
THE METAPHORS, MAN.
OH, SORRY.
HERE YOU GO.
DO EVER THINK MAYBE YOUSHOULDN'T GIVE YOUR SON COFFEE ?
LIKE HOW DO YOU MEAN ?
LIKE LOOK AT HIM.
HE'S ALWAYS SHAKING AND NERVOUS.
AGH !
OH, THAT.
HE HAS A.D.D., ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER.
THAT'S WHY HE'S SO JITTERY ALL THE TIME.
MR. TWEEK !
WE'VE ONLY JUST HEARD !
OH, HELLO COMMITTEE MEMBERS,WHAT A SURPRISE.
SO THIS IS THE CORPORATE BULLDOZER
TRYING TO PUSH YOU OFF THE MAP ?
YES, HOW DID YOU HEAR ?
THESE BOYS DID AN EXCELLENTREPORT FOR US THIS MORNING.
THEY'RE SO UPSET BY THIS WHOLE THING.
MY BUTT HURTS.
DON'T WORRY, MR. TWEEK.
THIS COMMITTEE IS NOT GOING TO LET YOU
BE RUN OUT OF BUSINESS BY THESE BASTARDS !
YOU HEAR THAT ?!
YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET AWAY WITH THIS !
EXCUSE ME ?
BOYS, WE'VE TALKED IT OVER,
AND WE WANT YOU TO TAKEYOUR CASE TO THE MAYOR !
OUR CASE ?
AGH !NO WAY, MAN !
THAT IS WAYTOO MUCH PRESSURE !
OH, YOU'LL DO FINE, SON.
COME ON, BOYS, LET'S GO !
AW, MAN,THIS SUCKS !
AGH !
TAKE YOUR CORPORATE COFFEE
AND GO BACK TO NEW YORK CITY !
( cheering )
IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO ARERUINING MAIN STREET, USA !
HOW MANY NATIVE AMERICANSDID YOU SLAUGHTER
TO MAKE THAT COFFEE, HUH ?!
( cheering )
DAMN, THESE PEOPLEAREN'T BUYING ANY COFFEE.
I'LL HAVE TO TRY AND APPEALTO THE YOUNGER CROWD.
HEY, KIDS !
I'M CAMEL JOE AND I LOVE A FRESH CUP OF COFFEE !
IT'S YUM DILLISCIOS !
AND IT MAKESYOU FEEL SUPER !
I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU !
THE NEW "KIDDIE-CINO" FROM HARBUCKS !
MORE SUGAR AND ALLTHE OTHER GOODIES KIDS LIKE
WITH ALL THE CAFFEINE OF A NORMAL DOUBLE LATTE !
NO BILLY,NO COFFEE FOR YOU !
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMEDOF YOURSELF !
USING CARTOONS TO PUSHCAFFEINE ON CHILDREN !
WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO THE HOLE YOU CRAWLED OUT FROM, LADY !
MR. POSTUM, I'M AFRAID YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO LEARN
ABOUT MAKING COFFEE.
OH, AND YOU DON'T ?
YOUR COFFEE TASTES LIKE THREE DAY OLD MOLDY DIARRHEA.
WELL, I'M SORRY TO INFORM YOUTHAT THIS TOWN
IS HAVING A VOTE TOMORROW,
AND IF THE LAW PASSES, YOU'REGONNA BE THROWN OUT OF TOWN.
WHAT ?!
AT 5:00, THE BEST COFFEE WINS, EITHER YOUR COFFEE...
OR A FRESH WARM CUP OF TWEEK'S COFFEE,
LIKE AN OLD SWEATER THAT KEEPSGETTING WARMER WITH AGE,
YOU CAN COUNT ON TWEEK'S COFFEETO START YOUR DAY.
SETTLE DOWN,CHILDREN...
I HAVE SOMEDIFFICULT NEWS...
THIS IS GOING TO MAKEYOU ALL VERY SAD...
THE SCHOOL BOARD IS CONSIDERINGFIRING ME AS YOUR TEACHER.
THERE IS A POSSIBILITYTHAT I WILL BE LET GO,
AND NEVER ALLOWED TO TEACH YOU AGAIN.
YES, STANLY ?
THAT'S OKAY WITH US.
YEAH.
NO, IT ISN'T,IT MAKES YOU VERY SAD !!
APPARENTLY THE SCHOOL BOARDTHINKS I DON'T TEACH YOU
ANYTHING ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS,
SO TOMORROW THEY'RE GONNA HAVE YOU DO PRESENTATIONS
FOR THE WHOLE BOARD.
( moaning )
"CURRENT EVENTS IN SOUTH PARK."
NOW I WANT YOU ALL TO READ A NEWSPAPER,
OR BETTER YET WATCH TELEVISION,
AND COME UP WITH SOMETHINGCURRENT IN SOUTH PARK
TO DO A REPORT ON.
( moaning )
NOW, THIS WILL BE A GROUP PROJECT,
SO I'M GONNA PLACE YOU ALL INTO GROUPS OF FIVE.
LET'S SEE...
WENDY, BEBE, CLYDE, PIP AND TOKEN,
YOU'LL BE GROUP ONE.
AND GROUP TWOWILL BE...
STAN, KYLE, ERIC, KENNY, AND...
AND...TWEEK !
AH !
OH, NOT TWEEK !
WE DON'T WANT TO BE IN A GROUP WITH TWEEK !
THERE'S NOTHINGWRONG WITH TWEEK.
I BET HE'LL DO A GREAT JOB IN YOUR GROUP.
I CAN'T TAKE THAT KIND OF PRESSURE !
NO, SWEET JESUS, PLEASE !
DUDE, WE CAN'T WORK WITH THIS KID.
AGH !
THAT'S WHAT CHAD EVERETT THOUGHTWHEN THE NEW FEMALE INTERN
JOINED THE CASTOF "MEDICAL CENTER".
HE THOUGHT, "WHO IS THIS WOMAN WITH HER GAZUNGASAND HIGH HEELS ?"
"WHAT DOES SHE KNOW OF MEDICINE ?"
WELL, THAT INTERN SOON SAVEDCHAD EVERETT'S BROTHER
WITH A KIDNEY TRANSPLANT.
SO YOU SEE ?
NO.
WELL, LET ME PUT IT ANOTHER WAY...
YOU HAVE TO GIVE YOUR ORAL REPORT
TO THE ENTIRE SOUTH PARK TOWN COMMITTEE TOMORROW,
AND IF IT DOESN'T KICK ASS, AND YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD,
MR. HAT IS GONNA SMACK YOU BITCHES UP.
WAH !
HELLO THERE, CUSTOMER !
HELLO, HOW ARE YOU TODAY ?
GREAT, WHAT CANI GET FOR YOU ?
LARGE COFFEE, SMALL COFFEE ?
I'M ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN SOMETHING ELSE.
I'M JOHN POSTUM FROM THE HARBUCKS COFFEE CORPORATION.
OH, YOU'RE THAT CORPORATE GUYWHO'S BEEN CALLING.
THAT'S RIGHT.
HOW COME YOU DON'T CALL ME BACK ?
ALL WE WANT TO DO IS BUY OUTYOUR COFFEE SHOP HERE.
FORGET IT, MY STORE IS NOT FOR SALE.
MY COMPANY IS PREPARED TOMAKE YOU A VERY GENEROUS OFFER.
THIS IS A CRAMSONITE BRIEFCASE,ALL LEATHER,
IT HAS FOUR COMPARTMENTSAND A KEYLESS LOCK.
INTERESTED ?
I DON'T THINK SO.
MY COFFEE SHOPIS WORTH A LOT TO ME.
ALRIGHT, HOW ABOUT 500,000 DOLLARS ?
THE ANSWER IS STILL NO, MR. POSTUM.
YOU SEE, WHEN MY FATHER OPENEDTHIS STORE 30 YEARS AGO,
HE CARED ABOUT ONLY ONE THING,
MAKING A GREAT CUP OF COFFEE.
SURE, WE MAY TAKE A LITTLELONGER TO BREW A CUP,
AND WE MAY NOT CALL IT FANCY NAMES,
BUT I GUESS WE JUSTCARE A LITTLE MORE.
AND THAT'S WHY TWEEK COFFEEIS STILL HOME-BREWED
FROM THE FINEST BEANS WE CAN MUSTER.
YES, TWEEK COFFEE IS A SIMPLER COFFEE...
FOR A SIMPLER AMERICA.
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.
WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO OPEN OUR HARBUCKS
RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO YOU.
BUT, THAT COULD PUT ME OUT OF BUSINESS !
HEY, THIS IS A CAPITALIST COUNTRY, PAL.
GET USED TO IT.
HELLO, MR. TWEEK.
HI, OFFICER BARBRADY.
WHO WAS THAT ?
JUST SOME DONG.WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU ?
THE USUAL.
OH !
THANKS, SEE YOU TOMORROW.
BYE, BYE.
OKAY, WE HAVE TO DO THIS STUPID REPORT SO--
AGH !
SO LET'S FIGURE OUTWHAT TO DO IT ABOUT.
HOW ABOUT WE DO IT ON THAT RAYMOND GUY ON TV.
YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND.
NO, CARTMAN, WE CAN'TDO IT ON RAYMOND AGAIN !
IT HAS TO BE ON A CURRENT EVENT IN SOUTH PARK.
TWEEK, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS ?
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALTOO MUCH PRESSURE !
GREAT, A LOT OF HELP YOU ARE, KID.
THE GNOMES !
WHAT ?
WE CAN DO OUR REPORTON THE GNOMES.
WHAT GNOMES ?
THE UNDERPANTS GNOMES !
THOSE LITTLE GUYS THAT...
THAT COME IN YOUR ROOMLATE, LATE AT NIGHT
AND STEAL YOUR UNDERPANTS !
OH, SO THAT'S WHERE ALL MY UNDERPANTS GO.
DUDE, THAT'S THE DUMBEST THINGI'VE EVER HEARD.
YEAH, I'VE NEVER SEENANY UNDERPANTS GNOMES.
THEY COME OUT AT 3:30 IN THE MORNING...
MOST PEOPLE AREN'T UP THEN, BUT I AM.
I CAN'T SLEEP...EVER.
DUDE, WE CAN'T DO A PRESENTATIONON UNDERPANTS GNOMES.
MR. GARRISON WILL FAIL USBECAUSE YOU'RE MAKING IT UP.
SLEEP AT MY HOUSE TONIGHT !I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU !
AND IT'S SO MUCH MONEY.
SOME THINGS AREMORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY.
THE PEOPLE OF SOUTH PARK COUNT ON YOU
TO GIVE THEM THAT FIRST CUP OF COFFEE EVERY DAY.
I KNOW, BUT IF THEY OPENA HARBUCKS RIGHT NEXT DOOR,
WE MIGHT GO OUT OF BUSINESS.
THEY REALLY HAVE MY BALLS IN A VICE GRIP.
OH, HELLO, SON.HOW WAS YOUR DAY ?
AAAAGAGGH !
THAT'S GOOD.
WHO ARE YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS ?
WHAT DO YOUMEAN ?!
WE'RE HIS ORAL REPORT BUDDIES.
YEAH, WE HAVE TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT TO WRITE IT.
WELL, HAVE SOME COFFEE BOYS.
I'LL BREW UP ANOTHER POT FOR LATER.
COFFEE ? I DON'T THINK I LIKE COFFEE.
OH, YOU'LL LIKE THIS COFFEE,IT'S FRESH.
COUNTRY FRESH,
LIKE THE MORNINGAFTER A RAINSTORM.
'KAY...
MAYBE IT'LL HELP US FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO OUR REPORT ON.
WE HAVE TO PRESENT IT TO THE ENTIRE SOUTH PARK TOWN COMMITTEE TOMORROW.
OH, I'VE GOT ONE FOR YOU.
HOW ABOUT DOING A REPORT ON HOW LARGE CORPORATIONS
TAKE OVER LITTLE, FAMILY OWNED BUSINESSES ?
RICHARD !
NO, I'M SERIOUS, HON.
THESE BOYS SHOULD LEARN HOW THE CORPORATE MACHINE IS RUINING AMERICA.
YOU SEE, I OWN A COFFEE SHOP,
AND NOW A GREAT, BIG,MULTIMILLION DOLLAR COMPANY
IS GOING TO MOVE IN AND TRY TO TAKE ALL MY BUSINESS.
WHICH MEANS I MAY HAVE TO SHUT DOWN,
AND SELL MY SON TWEEK INTO SLAVERY.
AGH !SLAVERY ?
YES, SLAVERY.
WOW, THAT SUCKS, DUDE.
THEY REALLY HAVE MY BALLS IN A SALAD SHOOTER.
WE'RE ALREADY DOING A PAPER ON TWEEK'S UNDERPANTS GNOMES.
YEAH.
NOW TWEEK, HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU ?
YOUR UNDERPANTS ARE MISSING BECAUSE YOU LOSE THEM,
NOT BECAUSE OF UNDERPANTS GNOMES.
AGHH !
COME ON, YOU GUYS,WE BETTER GET TO WORK !
OKAY, BUT CORPORATE TAKEOVERS IS A MUCH MORE FERTILE SUBJECT.
HONESTLY, RICHARD,
I DON'T SEE WHY YOU HAVE TOPREACH TO SOME EIGHT-YEAR-OLDS.
ACTUALLY, HONEY,
I THINK THOSE LITTLE TYKES ARE JUST WHAT WE NEED...
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
"AND AS THE VOLUMINOUSCORPORATE AUTOMATON
"BULLDOZES ITS WAY THROUGH BANTAM AMERICA...
"WHAT WILL BECOME
OF THE ENDEAVORINGAMERICAN FAMILY ?"
I DON'T THINK THEY WROTE THIS, MR. HAT !
"PERHAPS THERE IS NO STOPPINGTHE CORPORATE MACHINE."
AGH !
AND THAT'S OUR REPORT...
I GUESS.
IT'S OBVIOUSTHAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN--
GREAT JOB !
YES, GREAT JOB.
BOYS, YOU HAVE REALLY OPENED OUR EYES !
WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOWTHIS WAS HAPPENING !
NEITHER DID WE.
MR. GARRISON, IT LOOKS LIKE WE WERE WRONG ABOUT YOU.
YOU REALLY ARE TEACHING THESE KIDS SOMETHING.
YEAH, WELL, I DON'T WANT TOSOUND LIKE A DICKHOLE,
BUT I TOLD YOU SO.
I AM REALLY MOVED.
I SAY WE FOLLOW THESE BOYS' CAUSE !
LET'S JOIN THEM IN THE FIGHTAGAINST CORPORATE TAKEOVERS !
LEAD THE WAY, BOYS !
HUH ?
AGH !TOO MUCH PRESSURE !
IF NOT FOR THESE BOYS' EXCELLENT REPORT !
YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT STUDENTSFROM MR. GARRISON'S CLASS
ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING THAT HAD SOME KIND OF RELEVANCE TO THE WORLD ?
THAT'S RIGHT.
MR. GARRISON,THE GUY WITH THE PUPPET.
YES.
WELL, I MUST SAY, GARRISON,
PERHAPS YOU'RE NOT AS STUPID AND CRAZY
AS I ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE YOU ARE.
THANK YOU, MAYOR.
I DON'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE A DICKHOLE, BUT I--
MAYOR, THESE BOYS WANT THATHARBUCKS COFFEE SHUT DOWN
RIGHT NOW !
YEAH !
WELL, I CAN'T JUST SHUT THEM DOWN.
THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY.
BUT THEY'RE RUINING OUR CITY !
LOOK, THE BEST I CAN DO IS CREATE A PROPOSITION.
WE'LL CALL IT "PROP 10".
THE TOWN CAN VOTE ON IT,AND IF IT PASSES...
WE'LL SEE WHAT WE CAN DO.
HOORAY !
WHAT DO YOU SAY, BOYS ?
WE'RE GONNAPASS A LAW !
UH...
HOORAY.
SO I GUESS YOU WANTTO DO SOME CAMPAIGNING.
YOU CAN DO COMMERCIALSAND THINGS LIKE THAT.
THEN WE'LL HAVE A VOTE IN THE MIDDLE OF TOWN,
AND OBVIOUSLY IF MORE THAN 50% OF THE PEOPLE...
AGH !
... AND WANT HARBUCKS OUT, THEN THEY'RE OUT.
SO GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
DIDN'T YOU SEE THEM ?
ALRIGHT, WHAT'S NEXT ?
NEXT IS ISSUE 37-D,MISSING UNDERPANTS.
IS IT COLD IN HERE ?
OH BOYS, COULD I HAVE A QUICK"THIS N' THAT" WITH YOU ?
BOYS, I DON'T KNOWWHO WROTE THAT REPORT,
BUT NOW THAT YOU'VE CONVINCED EVERYBODY, YOU BETTER STICK WITH IT.
BECAUSE IF THESE PEOPLE FIND OUT YOU DIDN'T REALLY WRITE THAT PAPER,
AND I ACTUALLY DO GET FIRED,
THEN MR. HAT IS GONNA DO HORRIBLE THINGS TO YOU.
OH, NOT THAT, MR. HAT !
THAT'S REALLY HORRIBLE !
ANYWAY, GOOD LUCKPASSING YOUR NEW LAW.
JESUS, MAN, JESUS !WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, HUH ?
ON PUBLIC ACCESS.
TONIGHT'S TOPIC...
SHOULD HARBUCKS BE ALLOWED TO OPEN A STORE IN SOUTH PARK ?
THAT'S TONIGHT'S TOPIC.
ON MY LEFT, FIVE, INNOCENT,STARRY EYED BOYS
FROM MIDDLE AMERICA.
ON MY RIGHT, A BIG FAT, SMELLYCORPORATE GUY FROM NEW YORK.
( booing )
HEY, I'M NOT FAT OR SMELLY !
ALRIGHT, MR. DOUCHEBAG.
POSTUM !
OH, PARDON ME, MR. ASS-FACE.
ANYWAY, LET'S HEAR YOUR SIDE OF THE ARGUMENT.
BOO !
MY ARGUMENT IS SIMPLE.
THIS COUNTRY IS FOUNDED ON FREE ENTERPRISE.
( hissing )
HARBUCKS IS AN ORGANIZATION THAT--
AN ORGANIZATION THATPRIDES ITSELF ON GREAT COFFEE !
WE SIMPLY WANT--AW, TO HELL WITH YOU !
OKAY UCK-UP-FAY,
NOW FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ARGUMENT,
WE TURN TO OUR YOUNG, HANDSOME LADS.
BOYS, YOUR THOUGHTS ?
COME ON, BOYS,DON'T BE SHY.
WHAT'S YOUR PRINCIPAL ARGUMENT ?
UH...
UH...
THIS GUY SUCKS ASS !
( cheering )
GREAT ARGUMENT !YOU WIN, BOYS !
WHAT ?!
THAT WAS CLOSE, MR. HAT.
Is it the money we make ?
The quests we conquer ?
No...it's children...
So what do children have tosay about Prop 10 ?
I don't like big corporations.
I like small businesses.
I believe in the family owned enterprise.
( mumbling )
Agh !
It's time to stop large corporations.
Prop 10 is about children.
Vote yes on Prop 10, or else
you hate children.
You don't hate children,
do you ?
Remember...
keep American business small, or else...
Paid for by citizensfor a fair and equal way
to get Harbucks Coffeekicked out of town forever.
WELL ?WHAT DO YOU THINK ?
WOW !IT'S GREAT !
YES, IT IS !
WE'LL PUT IT ONTHE AIR IMMEDIATELY !
WHAT DO YOU THINK, HON ?
HON ?WHAT'S THE MATTER ?
I HAVE A BIG PROBLEM WITH THIS.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?
WE'RE JUST USING THOSE BOYSFOR OUR BENEFIT.
THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE SAYING.
BUT KIDS ARE GREATTO GET PEOPLE ON OUR SIDE.
YOU DON'T JUST THROW A CHILD IN A POLITICAL COMMERCIAL
TO SELLYOUR BELIEFS.
I WON'T BE A PART OF THIS ANYMORE.
HONEY, ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR...
AND COFFEE...
HON ?
HON ?
HERE.
ALRIGHT, THEN WE'LL THROW UP THE STAGE HERE.
BEFORE THE VOTE WE'LLGET A BAND EVERYONE LIKES...
LIKE, UH, LIKE...
TOTO.
LIKE TOTO.
AND THEN THE HARBUCKS GUY WILL HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO SPEAK
AND THE BOYS WILL HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO SPEAK,
AND THEN THE TOWN VOTES !
UH, BOYS, YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASSES TO WORK.
WHAT NOW ?
THEY'RE EXPECTING YOU TO GIVE A BIG SPEECH ON CORPORATE TAKEOVERS
AND THIS TIME IT HASTO LAST FIVE MINUTES.
OH, GOD !WHEN IS THIS GONNA END !
YOUR DAD REALLY SCREWED US, TWEEK !
JESUS, DUDE !I'M TO BLAME FOR ALL THIS !
I'M TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING !
SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA SAY ?
WHY CAN'T WE JUST READ THE PAPERWE WROTE LAST TIME ?
CUZ' THEN THEY'LL KNOW WE DIDN'T WRITE IT, DUMMY !
WE HAVETO BE ORIGINAL !
DOES ANYBODY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CORPORATIONS ?
( gasping )
I THINK MY MOM IS A CORPORATION.
YEAH,THAT MAKES SENSE.
YOU GUYS !SHH !
HOW ABOUT WE JUST SAY,CORPORATE SHOULD BE STOPPED.
HOW DO WE STRETCH THATINTO FIVE MINUTES ?
THEY'RE TAKING MY UNDERPANTS !
WILL YOU STOP WITH THE UNDERPANTS GNOMES ?
WE HAVE TO WORK HERE !
AAHH !
WHAT THE HELL ?
WELL, I'LL BE DAMNED.
THAT'S MY LAST PAIROF UNDERPANTS !
SHH,DON'T SCARE HIM !
HEY THERE, LITTLE GUY.
BAD !
CARTMAN !
WHAT ?!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HIT STUFF WITH A STICK ?
WELL LOOK AT HIM,HE'S ALL, YOU KNOW...
LOOK AT HIM.
IS THAT ALLYOU GOT, PUSSY ?
WHAT ?!
HEY, HE TALKED !
YEAH, HE CALLED ME A PUSSY.
I'M NOT A PUSSY,YOU'RE A PUSSY !
YOU'RE A PUSSY, PUSSY !
DUDE, WHY ARE YOU TAKINGTWEEK'S UNDERPANTS ?
YEAH, LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOINGTO THIS POOR KID !
AGH !
STEALING UNDERPANTS,BIG BUSINESS !
BUSINESS ?
WAIT, DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BUSINESS ?
SURE, THAT'S WHAT GNOMES DO !
SHOW US !
OKAY, FOLLOW ME !
LITTLE PUSSY GNOME !
DON'T CALL ME A PUSSY !PUSSY GNOME.
NOT MUCH LONGER NOW !
ARE YOU TAKING US TO YOUR LITTLE PUSSY HOUSE ?
NO, PUSSY, I'M TAKING YOUTO MY VILLAGE.
OH, YOUR PUSSY VILLAGE ?
WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LET HIM SHOW US !
FOLLOW ME !
I HOPE WE'RE NOT WASTING OURTIME WITH THIS LITTLE PECKER.
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE HARBUCKS
WILL NEVER MAKE IT IN THIS TOWN.
ALRIGHT, BOYS, THAT'S IT !
PACK IT UP,WE'RE MOVING OUT OF TOWN !
AW, BUT WE JUST FINISHED !
I KNOW, BUT THESE FOLKSOBVIOUSLY DON'T WANT US HERE.
BUT WHAT WILL BECOME OF US ?
OH, QUIT BEING SO MELODRAMATIC,SANCHEZ, JESUS CHRIST.
YEAH, IT'S ALMOST AS BIG AS CARTMAN'S ASS.
NO IT ISN'T, YOU GUYS.
THIS IS WHERE ALL OUR WORK IS DONE !
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH ALL THESE UNDERPANTS YOU STEAL ?
COLLECTING UNDERPANTS IS JUST PHASE ONE.
PHASE ONE, COLLECT UNDERPANTS.
SO, WHAT'S PHASE TWO ?
HEY,WHAT'S PHASE TWO ?!
PHASE ONE, WE COLLECT UNDERPANTS.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,BUT WHAT ABOUT PHASE TWO ?
WELL, PHASE THREE IS PROFIT !
GET IT ?
I DON'T GET IT.
YOU SEE, PHASE ONE, COLLECT UNDERPANTS.
PHASE TWO...
PHASE THREE,PROFIT !
OH, I GET IT.
NO YOU DON'T, FAT-ASS !
DO YOU GUYS KNOW ANYTHINGABOUT CORPORATIONS ?
YOU BET WE DO !
US GNOMES ARE GENIUSESAT CORPORATIONS !
JESUS CHRIST, LOOK OUT !
OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY.
YOU BASTARDS.
WE HAVE TO GIVE A SPEECH TOMORROWABOUT CORPORATE TAKEOVERS.
HOLY @#$% !WE KILLED YOUR FRIEND !
WE'VE GOT TO KNOW ABOUTCORPORATE TAKEOVERS TOMORROW OR WE'RE SCREWED.
CHRIST ! WE SQUISHED HIM LIKE A BUG!!
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CORPORATE TAKEOVERS ?
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALWELL, WE CAN EXPLAIN THAT TO YOU EASILY.
YES, FOR A PRICE.
WHAT ?
YOU KNOW.
UNDERPANTS ?
( gnomes )UNDERPANTS !
TOTO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN !
YEAH, TOTO !
WHOO, TOTO !
ALRIGHT, AND NOW BEFOREWE ALL VOTE YES ON PROP 10,
HERE TOREMIND US WHY,
ARE THE LOVABLE, INNOCENT CHILDREN.
SINCE WE ARE SO CONCERNEDWITH THE CORPORATE TAKEOVERS,
WE WENT AND ASKED OUR FRIENDSTHE UNDERPANTS GNOMES,
AND THEY TOLD US ALL ABOUTBIG CORPORATIONS.
( male )UNDERPANTS GNOMES ?
BIG CORPORATIONS ARE GOOD !
( male )WHAT ? GOOD ?
BECAUSE WITHOUT BIG CORPORATIONSWE WOULDN'T HAVE THINGS LIKE
CARS AND COMPUTERS AND CANNED SOUP.
EVEN HARBUCKS COFFEE STARTED OFFAS A SMALL LITTLE BUSINESS,
BUT BECAUSE IT MADE SUCH GREAT COFFEE,
AND BECAUSE THEY RAN THEIR BUSINESS SO WELL,
THEY MANAGED TO GROW AND GROW
UNTIL IT BECAME THE CORPORATE POWERHOUSE IT IS TODAY.
AND THAT IS WHY WE SHOULD ALL LET HARBUCKS STAY !
THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID LAST TIME !
UH...
THE TRUTH IS, WE DIDN'T WRITE THAT PAPER LAST TIME.
YOU LITTLE TURD !
YOU RUINED MY LIFE FOR THE LAST TIME !
THESE BOYS ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT !
WE'VE BEEN USING THESE POOR KIDS
TO PULL AT YOUR HEARTSTRINGS FOR OUR CAUSE AND IT'S WRONG.
WE'RE AS LOW AND DESPICABLEAS ROB REINER.
YOU KEEP PROTESTING AND COMPLAINING,
BUT DID ANY OF YOU EVER EVEN BOTHER TO TASTE HARBUCKS COFFEE ?
HARBUCKS COFFEE GOT TO WHEREIT IS BY BEING THE BEST.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD AT LEAST TRY IT ?
HEY !
THIS IS PRETTY DAMN GOOD !
YEAH, IT DOESN'T HAVE THATBLAND, RAW SEWAGE TASTE
THAT TWEEK'S COFFEE HAS.
HEY, HEY, THAT IS GOOD !
IT'S A FRENCH ROAST.
IT'S SUBTLE AND MILD.
MILD LIKE THAT FIRST SPLASH OF SUN ON AN APRIL MORNING.
THIS COFFEE IS COFFEETHE WAY IT SHOULD BE.
HEY, NO HARD FEELINGS, TWEEK.
YOU KNOW, WE STILL NEED SOMEONE TO RUN THIS HARBUCKS COFFEEHOUSE.
I'M SURE IT WILL MAKE A LOT OF MONEY.
THANK YOU, MR. POSTUM.
BUT I THINK WE'LL BE FINE WITH THE MONEY WE MAKE
SELLING OUR SON INTO SLAVERY.
AGH !
JUST KIDDING, SON !
I LOVE YOU GUYS !
Gnomes
s02e17 December 16, 1998
The boys are assigned a group project and end up working with a nervous geeky kid named Tweek.