- MARTONIUS JACKSONCATCHES THE BALL!
HE'S RUNNING DOWN THE SIDELINEAND--OOH!
- BOO!DID YOU SEE THAT HIT? BOOM!
- JACKSON STOPPED AT THE 45AND HE IS SLOW TO GET UP.
- THAT WAS A GREAT HIT,BOYS.
REMEMBER THAT AT PRACTICETOMORROW.
- YEAH, JACKSONTOOK A REAL SHOT,
AND I'M NOT SUREWHAT HE'S DOING NOW,
BUT IT APPEARS AS THOUGH HE'SLOOKING FOR HIS KEYS, DAN.
- YEAH, AND THAT DOESN'TMAKE A LOT OF SENSE,
BECAUSE EVER SINCEHIS CONCUSSION IN '06,
HE DOESN'T EVENHE HAVE A LICENSE.
- COACH MARTIN IS COMING OVERTO TELL HIM THAT NOW,
BUT JACKSON APPEARS TO THINKHE'S IN A CAR, DRIVING HOME.
- WELL, DURING THIS TIME OUT,WE'RE HAPPY TO BE JOINED
BY THE COMMISSIONER OF THE NFL,ROGER GOODELL.
COMMISSIONER, A LOT OF HOOPLAABOUT CONCUSSIONS
THIS YEAR IN THE NFL.
HOW IS THE LEAGUEHANDLING ALL THAT?
- WELL,THERE CERTAINLY ARE
INTERESTING STATISTICSCOMING OUT, DAN,
AND WE ARE DEEPLY CONCERNEDAND WAITING TO SEE
IF THERE'S REALLYANY DIRECT CORRELATION
BETWEEN FOOTBALLAND HEAD TRAUMA.
- OH, AND IT LOOKS LIKESOME OF THE NFL ALUMNI
ARE TAKING THE FIELD NOW.
THERE'S ALL-PRO SAFETYMARTIN GREGORS
AND FULLBACK JIM HARRIS.
LOOKS LIKE HIS PANTS ARE DOWNAROUND HIS ANKLES.
SOMEBODY SHOULD LET HIM KNOW.
OH, AND OL' SUREHANDMIKE TAFTILL,
WHO SEEMS TO BE BAKINGAN IMAGINARY CAKE, DAN.
- YEAH, NOT SURE IF THAT'SMEANT TO BE A CAKE
OR--OR PERHAPS, UH,A LOAF OF BREAD,
BUT HE DEFINITELYTHINKS HE'S BAKING SOMETHING.
- BOY, I JUST DON'TGET FOOTBALL.
GUESS THAT'SWHY I SUCK AT IT.
- YOU DON'T SUCK AT FOOTBALL,BUTTERS.
YOU SUCK AT ALL SPORTS.
- THAT'S TRUE!
OL' ERIC TELLS MEI SHOULD WORK
AT A THAI MASSAGE PARLOR,I'M SO GOOD AT SUCKING!
- THAT'S RIGHT, BUTTERS.
- AND WITH THAT, THE BROWNSARE READY TO KICK IT OFF
BACK TO THE BRONCOS.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,HERE YOU GO, BOYS.
WATCH THEM ON THE KICKOFF,ALL RIGHT?
SPECIAL TEAMS ARETHE MOST IMPORTANT PLAYS.
- WE DON'T HAVE KICKOFFSANYMORE.
- THE SCHOOL SAID THEY'RETHE MOST DANGEROUS PLAYS,
SO THEY DON'T HAVE USDO THEM ANYMORE.
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,WHOA!
WHAT THE FUCK?
A Lot of Hoopla About Concussions
Randy and the boys tune in and witness the dangers of football.
When one of the boys leaves the toilet seat up after he uses the bathroom, an unspeakable tragedy occurs.x CLOSE
Cartman launches his own gem shopping channel.x CLOSE
The kids are in danger when new trends start to evolve and shift at a rapid pace.x CLOSE
The town's big Easter Egg Hunt is in jeopardy when Cartman produces video evidence of a mysterious creature lurking in the woods.x CLOSE
Butters is the victim of an unlikely bully.x CLOSE
The boys' ziplining adventure becomes a terrifying test of survival.x CLOSE
The time has finally come for Cartman to let a special someone know exactly how he feels.x CLOSE
South Park Elementary takes steps to address football's concussion crisis.x CLOSE
Cartman finally admits he's fat and immediately gets a mobility scooter.x CLOSE
Cartman signs up for a home security system.x CLOSE
Randy and the boys tune in and witness the dangers of football.x CLOSE
Randy confronts the PTA and sarcastically proposes new rules for the game of football.x CLOSE
After the first practice, news of Sarcastaball sweeps across the nation.x CLOSE
Just when the boys want to quit, Butters rallies the team.x CLOSE
Randy moves up to the NFL and takes Sarcastaball with him.x CLOSE
The boys nominate Butters as team captain. Soon after, he has another one of his happy dreams.x CLOSE
Randy leads his NFL team to it's first victory.x CLOSE
Butters shares his secret stash of goo with Cartman.x CLOSE
After an appearance on "Rome", Sharon confronts Randy about his mental health.x CLOSE
The South Park Cows take on their toughest opponent, and Butters shares his goo with the team.x CLOSE