- MOM, DAD,YOU'VE ALWAYS TAUGHT ME
THAT BEING DIRECT AND HONESTIS A BASIC JEWISH TENET.
- THAT'S RIGHT, KYLE.
- AND THAT APPLIES TO ALL OF US,DOESN'T IT?
EVEN THOUGH IT'S CONVENIENTTO HAVE THINGS DONE FOR YOU,
SOMETIMES IT'S BEST TO DEALWITH IT YOURSELF.
- UH, HI,I GOT A DELIVERY FOR YOU.
- YEAH.COME IN FOR A MINUTE, WOULD YOU?
- PLEASE, I NEED YOU TO COMESIT DOWN FOR A SECOND.
- SO, HERE WE ALL ARE.
MOM, DO YOU WANTTO TELL DAD SOMETHING?
MOM?- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- YOU KNOW GODDAMN WELLWHAT'S GOING ON.
THIS ENDS RIGHT NOW.
WE ARE A FAMILY AND YOU NEEDTO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.
- DON'T YOU THINK I WANT TO?
I HATE THIS DAMN TOWN.
EVERY DAY THINGS JUST KEEPGETTING WEIRDER AROUND HERE,
AND I'M JUST ABOUT SICK OF IT.
OH, MY GOD.
- THIS IS BRIAN WITH INSECURITY.IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
- NO! THEY BLEW UP MY CAR!THEY BLEW UP MY CAR!
- I'M SENDING HELP.
POLICE ARE ON THEIR WAYWITH BLANKETS AND COCOA.
- THEY'RE AFTER ME AGAIN!DO SOMETHING!
- HOLD ON ONE SECOND, SIR.
I HAVE ANOTHER EMERGENCYCOMING IN.
- THIS IS BRIANWITH INSECURITY.
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
- YEAH, NO,FALSE ALARM AGAIN.
I'M IN THE STOREAND SOME FAT BITCH ASKED ME
IF MY DAD LIKES COLOGNE.
- WHAT THE HELL'SGOING ON OUT HERE?
- STAY OUT OF THIS, GERALD.
SOME MEN CARE ABOUTWHAT THEIR WIVES ARE DOING.
YOU DON'T EVENHAVE A WIFE, JIMBO.
- SOMEBODY ANSWER ME.YOU HAVE TO SEND HELP NOW.
- SIR, WE ARE SENDING HELP.JUST STAY CALM--[ringing]
HANG ON, SIR.THIS IS MARTIN WITH INSECURITY.
- YEAH, I'M THINKINGMAYBE GERALD'S HOUSE
IS NICER THAN MINE IS.
- HELLO, THIS IS MARTINWITH INSEC--
- GODDAMN IT, I'VE HAD ITWITH YOU PEOPLE!
WHEN I SIGNED UP I THOUGHTI WAS GETTING CSI GUYS
PROTECTING MY ASSBUT ALL YOU ANSWERING THE PHONES
ARE COMPLETE RETARDS.
- HELLO?- THIS IS MIKE WITH INSECURITY.
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
- HELLO!- YOU COME DOWN HERE.
SEND HELP NOW!
Kyle gathers his parents and the UPS man for a talk, but things quickly spiral out of control.
When one of the boys leaves the toilet seat up after he uses the bathroom, an unspeakable tragedy occurs.x CLOSE
Cartman launches his own gem shopping channel.x CLOSE
The kids are in danger when new trends start to evolve and shift at a rapid pace.x CLOSE
The town's big Easter Egg Hunt is in jeopardy when Cartman produces video evidence of a mysterious creature lurking in the woods.x CLOSE
Butters is the victim of an unlikely bully.x CLOSE
The boys' ziplining adventure becomes a terrifying test of survival.x CLOSE
The time has finally come for Cartman to let a special someone know exactly how he feels.x CLOSE
South Park Elementary takes steps to address football's concussion crisis.x CLOSE
Cartman finally admits he's fat and immediately gets a mobility scooter.x CLOSE
Cartman signs up for a home security system.x CLOSE
Gerald and Sheila try a little role-playing in the bedroom.x CLOSE
Ike breaks down after what he witnessed his mother and the UPS man doing. Kyle goes the boys for advice.x CLOSE
The men of South Park discuss what to do about the UPS delivery man.x CLOSE
Cartman gets a security system installed, while Randy becomes suspicious of Sharon's Amazon deliveries.x CLOSE
Cartman is less than pleased with his new home security system.x CLOSE
Randy and the guys confront the Old Man for advice on how to get rid of the UPS man.x CLOSE
Cartman puts his new security system to the test.x CLOSE
The guys use Bane costumes to teach the UPS man a lesson.x CLOSE
Just when Cartman finally needs his security system, he gets transferred to India.x CLOSE
With the threat of Banes looming, the people turn to the newest security measure.x CLOSE