- [thinking] I'VE DONE IT.
I'VE INFILTRATED THE NSAAND GAINED THEIR TRUST.
SO FAR I HAVE NOT ASCERTAINEDHOW THEY ARE ABLE
TO KEEP TRACK OF EVERYONEIN THE COUNTRY,
BUT I'M CLOSE, VERY CLOSE.
I JUST HOPE THAT I'M NOTFOUND OUT AS A WHISTLEBLOWER
BEFORE I'M ABLE TO EXPOSETHEIR ENTIRE OPERATION.
- WHAT IS THAT VOICE?
- SOME LITTLE FAGGOTIN MY HEAD.
- HEY, SO, UM, AS I'M GOINGTHROUGH PEOPLE'S EMAILS
AND PHONE CALLS, UM,HOW DO I KNOW
WHICH PEOPLE TO START WITH?
- PRETTY SIMPLE.EVERYONE HAS A FILE.
PEOPLE WHO HAVE A STATUSOF THREAT, POSSIBLE THREAT,
OR PERSON OF INTERESTARE THE ONES
WE REALLY WANT TO LOOK AT.
- THE MOREWE PAY ATTENTION TO THEM,
THE BIGGER THEIR FILE BECOMES.
- REALLY?HOW BIG IS MY FILE?
- HUH?- UH, THAT IS, UH--
YOU MUST HAVE A PRETTY BIG FILEON ERIC CARTMAN.
ALL HIS BLOGS AND EMAILSHAVE BEEN WATCHED
FOR QUITE SOME TIME.
- JARVIS, WHAT HAVE WE GOTON AN ERIC CARTMAN?
ANY FILES ON ERIC CARTMAN?
- OH, YEAH, WE TRACKED HIMFOR A LITTLE BIT,
BUT CENTRAL COMPUTERDESIGNATED HIS STATUS
AS FAT AND UNIMPORTANT.
- UH, TRUST ME,HE'S NOT FAT AND UNIMPORTANT.
I THINK WE NEED TO CHANGEHIS STATUS TO RIPPED AND SWEET.
EXCUSE ME.EXCUSE ME.
THERE'S A VERY IMPORTANT THREATTO NATIONAL SECURITY.
WE NEED TO CHANGEERIC CARTMAN'S STATUS.
Fat And Unimportant
Cartman uses his new job at the NSA to gather information about himself.
Cartman infiltrates the NSA and doesn't like what he finds in his personal file.x CLOSE
The boys use the game of "Minecraft" as a distraction to keep their parents from hurting each other.x CLOSE
Cartman sees Token as a threat to all humanity.x CLOSE
The Goth kids are being sent away to a camp for troubled children.x CLOSE
When Ike hits puberty, he and Kyle start to grow apart. To save their relationship, Kyle takes Ike to see a live performance of Yo Gabba Gabba.x CLOSE
Cartman's latest prank brings peace to the world.x CLOSE
The boys prepare to battle the crowds already lining up for the first official day of holiday shopping.x CLOSE
Black Friday is almost here and the battle for the new gaming devices is heating up. Princess Kenny's betrayal has left Cartman out for revenge.x CLOSE
The doors to the mall will finally open for the biggest Black Friday sale in history. The boys are divided, but a bloody battle will determine which gaming device is victorious.x CLOSE
When Wendy tries to fix one of her girl friends up with Butters, she ends up in the counselor's office.x CLOSE
Cartman's "private conversation" pisses Kyle off.x CLOSE
Cartman complains about the NSA invading his privacy and sends a message out to his followers.x CLOSE
Butters thanks the government and President Obama for watching over him, while Cartman comes up with a plan to infiltrate the NSA.x CLOSE
The newest form of social media takes your thoughts and puts them directly on the internet.x CLOSE
Cartman uses “Shitter” to talk about his plans for the NSA.x CLOSE
Butters confesses all his sins at the DMV.x CLOSE
Cartman puts on his best disguise to infiltrate the NSA.x CLOSE
Butters uses a visit from Jehovah's Witnesses to spread the good word about the Government.x CLOSE
Cartman has his first day working as an NSA agent.x CLOSE
Butters visits Craig and preaches about letting the government into your heart.x CLOSE