- HELLO, CRAIG!
HOW WOULD YOULIKE TO KNOW THE TRUTH?
- THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT?
- WE'RE JUST GOINGTHROUGH THE NEIGHBORHOOD
AND SEEING IF YOU'VE ACCEPTEDTHE GOVERNMENT
INTO YOUR HEART.
- UH, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
- MY COLLEAGUE AND I, WE WANTTO SHARE OUR EXPERIENCE AT DMV.
WE WENT TO DMV.
WE ADMITALL OUR SHORTCOMING AND SIN
AND A BIG TIDAL WAVE OF PEACEAND SERENITY
WENT INTO THE SOULAND TOUCH OUR HEART.
- YOU SEE CRAIG, ONCE ICAME CLEAN WITH THE GOVERNMENT,
I NO LONGERHAD ANYTHING TO HIDE.
THEN I FOUND PEACE.
HAVE YOU READANY DMV LITERATURE?
- UH, NO.
- WELL, THERE'S A LOTOF INTERESTING STUFF
IN HERE, CRAIG.
THERE'S EVEN SOME QUOTESFROM PRESIDENT OBAMA.
COULD YOU READ THIS PARTOUT LOUD?
- "YOUR LOCAL DMVIS FUNDED BY YOUR TAX DOLLARS
TO BE EFFICIENTAND PROFICIOUS."
WHAT DO YOU THINK PRESIDENTOBAMA MEANS WHEN HE SAYS THAT?
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
- WELL, WE BELIEVE THAT HEMEANS THE GOVERNMENT LOVES YOU,
AND IT WANTS TO FORGIVE YOU
IF YOU JUST LET THE GOVERNMENTINTO YOUR HEART.
- YES, SIR.SEE, I USED TO BE LIKE YOU.
I GO AROUNDSENDING THE NASTY EMAIL,
SEND THE NASTY TEXT,PUT UP NASTY PICTURES
ON MY NASTY FACEBOOK,
BUT THEN I REALIZE,ALL THESE THINGS,
THEY LIVE FOREVERBECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT
KEEP A FILE ON US.
SO ALL THAT LIVE FOREVERUP IN WHAT THEY CALL THE CLOUD.
IF THE GOVERNMENT, SIR--
IF THEY GONNA PUT THE FILEIN THE CLOUD,
THEN I WANT TO MAKE SUREI COME CLEAN ABOUT THE BAD ONES
AND MAYBE GET THOSE THINGSOFF MY RECORD
OFF THE CLOUD,BECAUSE WE ALL LIVE FOREVER
IN THE CLOUD.
- UH-HUH.DID YOU FOLLOW ALL THAT, CRAIG?
I DON'T REALLY THINKI FOLLOWED ALL THAT.
The Government Loves You
Butters visits Craig and preaches about letting the government into your heart.
Cartman infiltrates the NSA and doesn't like what he finds in his personal file.x CLOSE
The boys use the game of "Minecraft" as a distraction to keep their parents from hurting each other.x CLOSE
Cartman sees Token as a threat to all humanity.x CLOSE
The Goth kids are being sent away to a camp for troubled children.x CLOSE
When Ike hits puberty, he and Kyle start to grow apart. To save their relationship, Kyle takes Ike to see a live performance of Yo Gabba Gabba.x CLOSE
Cartman's latest prank brings peace to the world.x CLOSE
The boys prepare to battle the crowds already lining up for the first official day of holiday shopping.x CLOSE
Black Friday is almost here and the battle for the new gaming devices is heating up. Princess Kenny's betrayal has left Cartman out for revenge.x CLOSE
The doors to the mall will finally open for the biggest Black Friday sale in history. The boys are divided, but a bloody battle will determine which gaming device is victorious.x CLOSE
When Wendy tries to fix one of her girl friends up with Butters, she ends up in the counselor's office.x CLOSE
Cartman's "private conversation" pisses Kyle off.x CLOSE
Cartman complains about the NSA invading his privacy and sends a message out to his followers.x CLOSE
Butters thanks the government and President Obama for watching over him, while Cartman comes up with a plan to infiltrate the NSA.x CLOSE
The newest form of social media takes your thoughts and puts them directly on the internet.x CLOSE
Cartman uses “Shitter” to talk about his plans for the NSA.x CLOSE
Butters confesses all his sins at the DMV.x CLOSE
Cartman puts on his best disguise to infiltrate the NSA.x CLOSE
Butters uses a visit from Jehovah's Witnesses to spread the good word about the Government.x CLOSE
Cartman has his first day working as an NSA agent.x CLOSE
Butters visits Craig and preaches about letting the government into your heart.x CLOSE