( sobbing quietly )
I THINK DINNER'SALMOST READY.
I ALMOST DID IT.
I ALMOST MADESOMETHING OF MYSELF.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOUGET REAL CLOSE,
YOU START TO THINK THAT
MAYBE YOUR LIFE ISGOING TO MATTER.
I MEAN, THIS WASSOMETHING I MADE,
SOMETHING THATCAME FROM ME,
THAT WAS A PART OF ME.
THE ONLY THING I EVERMADE THAT WAS ANY GOOD.
GEE... THANKS A LOT, DAD.
AND I JUST... I KNOW THATTHIS LATE IN MY LIFE
I'LL NEVER COME SO CLOSETO FINALLY HAVING MEANING.
COME ON, GUYS,LASAGNA'S READY.
OH, LASAGNA'S READY.
YOU HEAR THAT, STAN ?
MOM SAYS LASAGNA IS READY.
I CAN SEE THROUGHYOUR SARCASM, SHARON.
WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT ?
YOU CAN SAY IT, SHARON.
I KNOW BONOIS BETTER THAN ME !
I'M SORRY I'M NOT BONO,ALL RIGHT ?!
I'M SORRY I DON'THAVE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS
AND A NOBEL-PRIZENOMINATION !
RANDY, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
OH, THAT'S REAL MATURE,SHARON.
JUST ACT LIKEEVERYTHING IS FUNNY.
IT'S A BIG JOKE TO YOU,ISN'T IT ?
JUST A BIG JOKE !
DON'T TOUCH ME !
CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM ?
ALL THIS OVER WHAT GUYTOOK THE BIGGEST CRAP !
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, MOM.
YOU JUST DON'TUNDERSTAND.
Randy Mourns His Loss
Randy is depressed after losing to Bono.
After three weeks of constipation, Randy takes a huge crap.x CLOSE
Stan shows his crap off to his friends.x CLOSE
Randy tries calling the Guinness Book with his world record.x CLOSE
After verification, Randy's crap is now the new world record holder.x CLOSE
Bono is told his crap record was beaten.x CLOSE
Bono announces he broke Randy's world record.x CLOSE
Randy is depressed after losing to Bono.x CLOSE
Randy's friends talk him into trying to beat the record.x CLOSE
News of Randy's eminent world record attempt reaches Bono.x CLOSE
Randy's ultrasound reveals the crap is currently 14 Curics.x CLOSE