PERIDOT CRAPONITE EARRINGS.
THESE ARE 18-KARAT GOLD,
AND WE GOT--OH, DO WE HAVEA BUYER ON THE LINE?
- WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
- ALL RIGHT, GODDAMN IT,WE GOT ANOTHER COMEDIAN.
EVER SINCE THAT LITTLE KIDCALLED UP,
NOW EVERYBODY WANTSTO CALL AND TELL ME
I SHOULD KILL MYSELF.
- HE WAS RIGHT.DO IT.
- FOLKS, THIS ISAN 800 NUMBER.
EVERY TIME YOU CALLAND TELL ME TO KILL MYSELF,
IT'S COSTING US $2.36!
SO, NOW, HOW ABOUT A CALLERWHO WANTS TO BUY JEWELRY?
YES. HELLO, SIR?
- YOU'RE TOO SCAREDTO DO IT, AREN'T YA?
YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS.
- GODDAMN IT,I'M NOT SCARED TO DO IT.
- NAH, YOU'RE SCARED.
YOU GOT--YOU GOT LADY BALLS.
[hangs up, dial tone]
- HELLO? I'M CALLING ABOUTTHE PERIDOT EARRINGS.
- YES, MA'AM!
- THEY'D LOOK GOODON YOUR DEAD BODY.
WHY DON'T YOUKILL YOURSELF?
- ALL RIGHT.THAT'S THAT.
THAT THERE'S THE--
THE STRAW THAT BROKETHE CAMEL'S BACK.
I GOT A GUN RIGHT HERE.
WHAT DO YOU THINKABOUT THAT?
- PUT IT AGAINST YOUR TEMPLEAND PULL THE TRIGGER.
What Are You Waiting For?
The old people continue to call in to the jewelry show and finally convince Dean to commit suicide.
The Marsh family visits Grandpa, and Stan is given a not-so-awesome present.x CLOSE
Cartman gives Stan hard time about his new bolo tie.x CLOSE
Stan visits several Cash For Gold shops to pawn his new bolo tie.x CLOSE
The boys discover the TV network responsible for selling jewelry to the elderly.x CLOSE
Cartman unveils his new breakthrough equation for making gold.x CLOSE
Stan tries to stop Grandpa Marsh from purchasing more useless jewlery from the shopping network.x CLOSE
With the help of Butters, Cartman solicits jewelry for his new Cash 4 Gold business.x CLOSE
During a live airing of the jewelry show, Stan calls in with a special request for the host.x CLOSE
Cartman launches his own jewelry show on the Old People's Network.x CLOSE
The boys visit a smelting company to put a stop to the jewelry scam. When that doesn't work, they go after the sign holders.x CLOSE