- AND THAT'S IT.
WE'VE JUST SOLD THIS BRACELETTO MISS MARSHA TUBBS.
MARSHA, THANK YOUSO MUCH FOR YOUR CALL.
YOU JUST GOT YOURSELFA HECK OF A DEAL ON THIS ONE.
YOU THERE, MARSHA?
- UH...[horn blaring in traffic]
I'M LOST,WALKING ON THE FREEWAY.
- ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE LOST,WALKING ON A FREEWAY.
ENJOY THE TIGER'S EYEAQUAMARINE BRACELET.
ALL RI--OKAY,WHAT SHOULD WE DO NEXT?
OH, I SEE ONE.HERE'S A GOOD'UN.
LET ME--LET ME--LET ME SET STAGEFOR YOU HERE.
YOU'RE GOING TO THATSENIOR'S COCKTAIL PARTY.
IT'S BINGO NIGHT.
YOU'RE LOOKINGFOR SOMETHING TO WEAR.
HOW ABOUT A 13-CARATPANZOTOPANZANITE RING?
THIS IS--OH, WE GOT A CALLERALREADY ON THIS ONE.
HELLO, SIR, YOU MUST BE A FANOF PANZOTOPANZANITE.
- YEAH, HI.UM, YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF.
- WHAT'S THAT?
- I SAID,"YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF."
WHAT YOU DOIS SORT OF UNJUSTIFIABLE,
AND YOU KNOWIT'S UNJUSTIFIABLE,
AND YOU DON'T CARE.
YOU'RE THE DEFINITIONOF EVIL.
- OKAY, WE'RE GONNA SELLTHIS RING FOR JUST $3,795.
- I JUST READ THATTHE DAY SHOPPING NETWORKS
MAKE MOST OF THEIR MONEYIS ON THE DAY
SENIORS PICK UPSOCIAL SECURITY CHECKS.
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU SHOULDN'TSAY THINGS LIKE THAT,
'CAUSE SOME HOSTOF A JEWELRY CHANNEL
SURE MIGHT UP AND DO IT,
AND THEN YOU'D FEELREALLY BAD.
- NO, I WOULDN'T.
- YES, YOU WOULD.
- NO, BECAUSE I REALLYWANT YOU TO KILL YOURSELF.
- ALL RIGHT, WELL,HOW ABOUT THIS?
IF A JEWELRY NETWORK HOSTGOES HOME TONIGHT
AND BLOWS HIS BRAINS OUT,YOU MIGHT BE LIABLE.
THAT'S A LAWSUIT WORTH$2.7 MILLION.
HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
- I DON'T CAREWHAT HAPPENS TO ME.
I CARE ABOUT MY GRANDFATHER,
YOU MORALLY EMPTY,CORRUPTED MAGGOT.
- ALL RIGHT,I TELL YOU WHAT.
I'LL BRING THE LAWSUIT DOWNTO $29,39--
- NO, NO, IT DOESN'T MATTERWHAT PRICE YOU PUT ON ANYTHING!
YOUR ONLY CHANCE TO RIGHTTHE WRONGS YOU'VE DONE
AND REPAY ALL THE ELDERLY PEOPLEWHOSE LIVES YOU'VE DESTROYED
IS TO KILL YOURSELF.
- [clears throat]
WELL, YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY,BUT THAT'S--
THAT'S CALLING UP AND TELLINGSOMEONE TO KILL THEMSELF.
THAT'S NOT A JOKE.
- I'M NOT JOKING.DO IT.
Here's a Good'un
During a live airing of the jewelry show, Stan calls in with a special request for the host.
When one of the boys leaves the toilet seat up after he uses the bathroom, an unspeakable tragedy occurs.x CLOSE
Cartman launches his own gem shopping channel.x CLOSE
The kids are in danger when new trends start to evolve and shift at a rapid pace.x CLOSE
The town's big Easter Egg Hunt is in jeopardy when Cartman produces video evidence of a mysterious creature lurking in the woods.x CLOSE
Butters is the victim of an unlikely bully.x CLOSE
The boys' ziplining adventure becomes a terrifying test of survival.x CLOSE
The time has finally come for Cartman to let a special someone know exactly how he feels.x CLOSE
South Park Elementary takes steps to address football's concussion crisis.x CLOSE
Cartman finally admits he's fat and immediately gets a mobility scooter.x CLOSE
Cartman signs up for a home security system.x CLOSE
The Marsh family visits Grandpa, and Stan is given a not-so-awesome present.x CLOSE
Cartman gives Stan hard time about his new bolo tie.x CLOSE
Stan visits several Cash For Gold shops to pawn his new bolo tie.x CLOSE
The boys discover the TV network responsible for selling jewelry to the elderly.x CLOSE
Cartman unveils his new breakthrough equation for making gold.x CLOSE
Stan tries to stop Grandpa Marsh from purchasing more useless jewlery from the shopping network.x CLOSE
With the help of Butters, Cartman solicits jewelry for his new Cash 4 Gold business.x CLOSE
During a live airing of the jewelry show, Stan calls in with a special request for the host.x CLOSE
Cartman launches his own jewelry show on the Old People's Network.x CLOSE
The boys visit a smelting company to put a stop to the jewelry scam. When that doesn't work, they go after the sign holders.x CLOSE