- DUDE, THAT'S TERRIBLE!
- I TOLD YOU GUYS.I'VE BEEN WATCHING ALL DAY.
- BUT HOW DO THEYGET AWAY WITH THAT?
- THIS IS A NEW TIME,A NEW ERA OF SCIENCE
THAT ONLYTHE SMARTEST CAN COMPREHEND.
- WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT?
- FOR CENTURIES,ALCHEMISTS HAVE TRIED
TO COME UP WITH THE FORMULATO MAKE GOLD.
WHOEVER COULD DO IT WOULD,OF COURSE, BECOME RICH,
AND NOW, THE CHEMICAL EQUATIONIS RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES.
- THAT'S THE CHEMICAL EQUATIONFOR GOLD?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
GUYS WITH"CASH FOR GOLD" SIGNS
GETS YOU PEOPLE'SUNWANTED CRAPPY JEWELRY,
WHICH, WHEN ADDED TOA CABLE-BASED SHOPPING NETWORK,
DIVIDED BY DEMENTED OLD PEOPLE,EQUALS GOLD.
- KENNY, WILL YOU TELL CARTMANTO SHUT UP?
- SHUT THE FUCK UP, DUDE.YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE.
- OH, I'M AN ASSHOLEFOR DOING MATH?
- OH, MY GARSH!CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
SOMEBODY'S ABOUT TO GET THIS$20,000 TOPAZ AND COPPER RING
FOR JUST 4,000 BUCKS.
WE'VE GOT OUR BUYERON THE LINE.
YOU BUYING THISAS A GIFT, SIR?
- NO, I'M BUYING IT AS A GIFTFOR MY GRANDSON, BILLY.
The Formula to Make Gold
Cartman unveils his new breakthrough equation for making gold.
The Marsh family visits Grandpa, and Stan is given a not-so-awesome present.x CLOSE
Cartman gives Stan hard time about his new bolo tie.x CLOSE
Stan visits several Cash For Gold shops to pawn his new bolo tie.x CLOSE
The boys discover the TV network responsible for selling jewelry to the elderly.x CLOSE
Cartman unveils his new breakthrough equation for making gold.x CLOSE
Stan tries to stop Grandpa Marsh from purchasing more useless jewlery from the shopping network.x CLOSE
With the help of Butters, Cartman solicits jewelry for his new Cash 4 Gold business.x CLOSE
During a live airing of the jewelry show, Stan calls in with a special request for the host.x CLOSE
Cartman launches his own jewelry show on the Old People's Network.x CLOSE
The boys visit a smelting company to put a stop to the jewelry scam. When that doesn't work, they go after the sign holders.x CLOSE