OFF OF THE LICENSINGAGREEMENT WITH EA SPORTS
GOES TO THE ORPHANAGEFOR THE NEEDY CRACK BABIES.
DID YOU SEE THE BLUEPRINTS?
THE BABIES WILL HAVE THEIR OWNPUTT-PUTT GOLF COURSE.
WHY DOES IT MATTERHOW MUCH I'M MAKING, STAN?
IF THE CRACK BABIES ARE GETTINGA PLACE TO GROW AND DEVELOP,
WHY DOES MY SALARY MATTER?
- YOU GUYS!YOU GUYS!
WE'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS.
SLASH ISN'T REAL.
- SLASH ISN'T REAL.
HE'S A MADE-UP PERSONTHAT REPRESENTS
CARE AND GIVING,AND PEOPLE DRESS UP LIKE HIM
AND LIE TO THEIR KIDS.
- SLASH IS MAKE BELIEVE?
- HERE, LOOK FOR YOURSELF.
HE'S BASED ON A FABLE OF A DUTCHSAINT NAMED VUNTER SLAUSH.
- VUNTER SLAUSH?- WHAT?
- BUT THEN WHO PLAYEDAT MY EIGHTH BIRTHDAY PARTY?
- ONE OF OUR PARENTS.
- BUT THEN, WHO WAS THE GUITARPLAYER FOR GUNS AND ROSES?
- ONE OF OUR PARENTS!
- ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?
- YOU GUYSARE TEN YEARS OLD
AND YOU JUST FIGURED OUTTHAT SLASH ISN'T REAL?
OH, MY GOD.- YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS?
- MY PARENTS TOLD ME SLASHWASN'T REAL WHEN I WAS FIVE.
[chuckling] JESUS CHRIST!
- WELL, WHAT THE HECKDO WE DO NOW?
- LOOK, LET'S JUSTGET OUR MONEY FROM EA SPORTS
AND GET OUT OF THIS WHOLETHING ONCE AND FOR ALL!
Over bacon and pancakes, the kids learn some shocking truths.
The boys get sucked into Sara McLachlan's melodramatic commercial.x CLOSE
Kyle questions Cartman's motives for volunteering.x CLOSE
Kyle discovers what Cartman's crew is really up to.x CLOSE
Cartman recruites Kyle for his latest money making scheme.x CLOSE
Kyle sheds light on his new hustle.x CLOSE
Cartman and Butters pay a visit to the home of a future player, while Kyle attempts to explain himself.x CLOSE
Cartman lays out the CBAA rules for Kyle.x CLOSE
Cartman visits the University of Colorado to get business advice.x CLOSE
Kyle struggles with the ethics of his new job.x CLOSE
The CBAA tries to book Slash, while Kyle lays out his plans for an orphanage.x CLOSE