FROM ANOTHER PRESTIGIOUSINSTITUTION IS HERE TO SEE YOU.
- A WHAT?SEND HIM IN.
- [Southern accent]HELLO, SIR!
THE NAME IS ERIC P. CARTMAN.
I'M A WELL RESPECTED OWNERIN THE SLAVE TRADE.
- IN THE WHAT?
- MY PEACHES,WHAT A WONDERFUL OFFICE
YOU GOT YOURSELF HERE.
CERTAINLY GOT YOURSELFA LUCRATIVE BUSINESS, DON'T YE?
WELL, LET ME GETRIGHT DOWN TO IT, THEN.
LIKE YOURSELF, I AM ALSOIN THE SLAVE TRADE.
BUT AT THE MOMENT,I FIND MYSELF
IN A LITTLE QUANDARYWITH LEGAL ISSUES.
WAS WONDERIN' IF YOU COULDSHARE SOME SECRETS.
- I HAVE NO IDEAWHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
- YOU HAVE SOME MIGHTY STRONGLOOKIN' WORKERS HERE, SIR.
I'D BE WILLIN' TO OFFER YA$40 FOR TWO OF THE WHITE ONES
AND 50 FOR THE BLACKS.
- ARE YOU REFERRINGTO OUR STUDENT ATHLETES?
- STUDENT ATH-O-LETES!
HO HO!THAT IS BRILLIANT, SIR!
NOW WHEN WE SELL THEIRLIKENESS FOR VIDEO GAMES,
HOW DO YOU GET AROUNDPAYING FOR OUR SLAVES--
STUDENT ATH-O-LETES, THEN?
- LOOK, THERE AREGOOD REASONS
WHY OUR STUDENT ATHLETESCANNOT BE PAID, YOUNG MAN!
- I AIN'T ARGUING!
IF THEY GOT PAID,THEN HOW'D WE MAKE
ALL OUR MONEY, RIGHT?
- WE DO NOT OWN SLAVES.
AND WE HAVE NO DESIRETO OWN SLAVES!
- BUT OF COURSEYOU OWN SLAVES
BECAUSE YOU--OH, RIGHT!
AHEM!OF COURSE YOU DON'T HAVE
DESIRE TO OWN SLAVES, SIR.
NEITHER DO I.
AND IF THERE WASANY GOVERNMENT AGENCY
LISTENIN' INON THIS HERE CONVERSATION,
THEY SHOULD KNOWTHAT WE'RE NOT TALKIN'
'BOUT SLAVE OWNERSHIP T'ALL!
[whispering] ALL RIGHT,SO NOW DO YOU GET AROUND
NOT PAYING YOUR SLAVES?
- GET OUT!
THIS ISA PRESTIGIOUS UNIVERSITY
AND I AM NOT SAYINGONE MORE WORD TO YOU!
- YOU THINK YOU CAN DOWHATEVER YOU WANT
JUST BECAUSE YOUR CORPORATIONIS A UNIVERSITY?
THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDEDON THE IDEALS
THAT ONE CORPORATIONCOULDN'T HOG ALL THE SLAVES
WHILE THE REST OF USWALLOW IN POVERTY!
SCREW YOU, SIR.I'M GOIN' HOME.
Cartman visits the University of Colorado to get business advice.
Kyle is intimately involved in the development of a revolutionary new product called HumancentiPad.x CLOSE
Jimmy hosts the Special Ed Department's First Annual Comedy Awards.x CLOSE
The Prince of Canada is about to take a Princess and Ike is obsessed with the Royal Wedding.x CLOSE
Cartman throws a fit when the boys' penis sizes are posted on the school bulletin board, and is sent to anger management therapy.x CLOSE
Kyle gets in on the ground floor of Cartman's latest business venture, The Crack Baby Athletic Association.x CLOSE
Butters is diagnosed with multiple personality disorder.x CLOSE
Just after Stan's 10th birthday, his worldview starts to change and so do his friendships.x CLOSE
Cartman finds a unique way to cope with Asperger's Syndrome.x CLOSE
Cartman joins the U.S. Border Patrol.x CLOSE
The kids' most scandalous secrets are being leaked on an outrageous new gossip website.x CLOSE
The boys get sucked into Sara McLachlan's melodramatic commercial.x CLOSE
Kyle questions Cartman's motives for volunteering.x CLOSE
Kyle discovers what Cartman's crew is really up to.x CLOSE
Cartman recruites Kyle for his latest money making scheme.x CLOSE
Kyle sheds light on his new hustle.x CLOSE
Cartman and Butters pay a visit to the home of a future player, while Kyle attempts to explain himself.x CLOSE
Cartman lays out the CBAA rules for Kyle.x CLOSE
Cartman visits the University of Colorado to get business advice.x CLOSE
Kyle struggles with the ethics of his new job.x CLOSE
The CBAA tries to book Slash, while Kyle lays out his plans for an orphanage.x CLOSE