- IT'S THE EASIEST THINGIN THE WORLD!
HOW COULD YOU GUYSHAVE SCREWED THIS UP?
ALL I ASKED YOU TO DOWAS TO GET SLASH
TO PLAY AT HALFTIMEFOR THE MATCH UP
BETWEEN THE CRACK BABIESAT CEDAR SINAI AND D.U.
- WE'RE JUST HAVINGA HARD TIME FINDING HIM.
- SLASH IS NOT HARD TO FIND!
HE'LL SHOW UP TO PLAY ANYWHEREIF YOU PAY HIM!
HE PLAYED AT MY EIGHTH BIRTHDAYPARTY FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
LOOK! LOOK HE'S PLAYINGAT LAKEWOOD MALL RIGHT NOW!
YOU GUYS GET DOWN THERE--[telephone rings]
OH, CRAP, THE PRESIDENTOF EA SPORTS IS CALLING!
JUST GO, GO!
MR. PETERS, HOW ARE YOU?
YES, SIR, WE'RE VERY EXCITED
ABOUT OUR DEALWITH YOU AS WELL!
OH, WE KNOWTHE VIDEO GAME VERSION
OF CRACK BABY BASKETBALLWILL BE A BIG HIT TOO.
[whispering]HEY, KYLE, HAVE A SEAT.
- I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
- MR. PETERS,CAN I CALL YOU BACK?
OUR COMPANY ACCOUNTANTNEEDS ME.
YES, HE IS JEWISH.
OKAY, THANKS, MR. PETERS.BYE!
HOW'S IT GOIN', MAN?
- IN OUR DEAL WITH EA SPORTS,
WE ARE GIVING THEMTHE RIGHT TO USE
IMAGES OF THE CRACK BABIESAND THEIR NAMES,
BUT WE AREN'T PAYINGTHE CRACK BABIES.
- THEY CAN'T MAKE MONEY.IT'S AGAINST THE RULES.
- BUT THIS VIDEO GAME COULDMAKE A MILLION DOLLARS.
WE HAVE TO GIVE THE CRACKBABIES A PIECE OF THAT.
- KYLE, IT SAYS RIGHT THERE.RULE NUMBER THREE.
CRACK BABY PLAYERS CANNOTRECEIVE COMPENSATION
OF ANY KIND FOR THEIR PLAY.
- BUT THEY'RE THE ONESRISKING INJURY.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT METO DO, KYLE?
FIND A STEP LADDER OF SOME KINDAND RISK MY SAFETY
TO GET UP AND THEREAND CHANGE THE RULES?
- THE GOVERNMENT COULDCOME AFTER US, CARTMAN.
- WE'RE A NON-PROFITCOMPANY, KYLE.
- SO THEN WHERE DIDTHE $800 WE MADE
FROM SELLING AN INTERNET ADTO PAYLESS SHOE SOURCE GO?
- OH! TO THINGS WE NEED TOKEEP THE OFFICE RUNNING, KYLE.
- A HOT TUB?
- IT'S NOT JUST A HOT TUB.TASTE IT.
GO AHEAD, TASTE IT.
- KENTUCKY FRIEDCHICKEN GRAVY.
- NO WAY.
- A HOT TUB FULLOF KFC GRAVY, KYLE.
DID YOU EVER THINK YOU WOULDSEE THAT IN YOUR LIFETIME?
KYLE, AS OWNERSOF THIS COMPANY,
WE OWE ITNOT ONLY TO OURSELVES,
BUT TO THE CRACK BABIES,
TO BE AS STRESS-FREEAND CLEARHEADED AS POSSIBLE.
MCDONALDS FRENCH FRIESAND KFC GRAVY.
THE FRENCH CALL THIS POUTINE.
- NO, BUT, DUDE,
WE CAN'T LICENSE OUR GAMESTO EA SPORTS
AND PAY THE CRACK BABIESNOTHING.
SLAVERY IS ILLEGAL!
- IT'S NOT ILLEGAL, KYLE.TELL YOU WHAT.
I'LL DO SOME UNDERCOVER WORK
AND FIND OUT HOW THE OTHERCOMPANIES GET AWAY WITH IT.
- WHAT OTHER COMPANIES?
The French Call It "Poutine"
Cartman lays out the CBAA rules for Kyle.
Kyle is intimately involved in the development of a revolutionary new product called HumancentiPad.x CLOSE
Jimmy hosts the Special Ed Department's First Annual Comedy Awards.x CLOSE
The Prince of Canada is about to take a Princess and Ike is obsessed with the Royal Wedding.x CLOSE
Cartman throws a fit when the boys' penis sizes are posted on the school bulletin board, and is sent to anger management therapy.x CLOSE
Kyle gets in on the ground floor of Cartman's latest business venture, The Crack Baby Athletic Association.x CLOSE
Butters is diagnosed with multiple personality disorder.x CLOSE
Just after Stan's 10th birthday, his worldview starts to change and so do his friendships.x CLOSE
Cartman finds a unique way to cope with Asperger's Syndrome.x CLOSE
Cartman joins the U.S. Border Patrol.x CLOSE
The kids' most scandalous secrets are being leaked on an outrageous new gossip website.x CLOSE
The boys get sucked into Sara McLachlan's melodramatic commercial.x CLOSE
Kyle questions Cartman's motives for volunteering.x CLOSE
Kyle discovers what Cartman's crew is really up to.x CLOSE
Cartman recruites Kyle for his latest money making scheme.x CLOSE
Kyle sheds light on his new hustle.x CLOSE
Cartman and Butters pay a visit to the home of a future player, while Kyle attempts to explain himself.x CLOSE
Cartman lays out the CBAA rules for Kyle.x CLOSE
Cartman visits the University of Colorado to get business advice.x CLOSE
Kyle struggles with the ethics of his new job.x CLOSE
The CBAA tries to book Slash, while Kyle lays out his plans for an orphanage.x CLOSE