- WELCOME TO FEDEX.HOW CAN I HELP YOU TODAY?

- YES, I'VE GOT SOME BIRTHDAYPRESENTS I NEED SHIPPED.

- ALL RIGHTY, LET'S SEEWHAT KIND OF--

[glass shatters]- BURN IT DOWN!

- BURN IT DOWN, DUDE![people screaming]

- HUH! HUH!- AAH!

- OH, NO!

- LET'S SEEHOW THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT

LIKES IT WHEN WE SHUT DOWNTHEIR FEDERAL EXPRESS!

- TOM, I'M STANDING OUTSIDETHE FEDEX

IN FAIRPLAY, COLORADO

WHERE A RADICALPOLITICAL GROUP

HAS TAKENSEVERAL PEOPLE HOSTAGE.

THEY CALL THEMSELVESTHE PISSED OFF AND ANGRY PARTY,

AND THEY ALLOWED ME TOSPEAK WITH THEM MOMENTS AGO.

- THIS IS A CALLTO ALL ANGRY PEOPLE!

WE'VE HAD ENOUGH!

WE'RE GONNA HIT THE GOVERNMENTWHERE IT HURTS,

RIGHT IN THE FEDERAL EXPRESS!

- WHAT EXACTLYARE YOU ANGRY ABOUT?

- WE'RE ANGRY ABOUTTHIS STUPID, LIBERAL GOVERNMENT

AND FASCIST LIES,MEDIA CONTROL, AND--

- AND JEWS!- YEAH, AND JEWS!

AND ALL THE STUFFTHAT THE GOVERNMENT'S DOING!

- YOU'VE GOTA LOT OF PEOPLE SCARED.

WHAT ARE YOUR DEMANDS?

- WELL, FIRST OF ALL,

WE WANT THAT SURGEON GENERALTO STEP DOWN!

- YEAH!- AND WE WANT--

- AND WE WANNA SEE OBAMA'SREAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE!

- YEAH, WE WANNA SEE OBAMA'SREAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE!

AND, UM--

- AND MY MOM GOTTASTOP TRIPPIN', MAH.

BITCH BE TRIPPIN'ALL THE TIME, MAH!

- YEAH, WE WANT OUR MOMSTO STOP TRIPPIN, MAN,

'CAUSE THEM BITCHESBE TRIPPIN ALL THE TIME!

AND I THINK THAT--UH, IS THAT IT?

- NO, AND FUCK KYLE!

- OH, YEAH AND FUCK KYLE!

SURGEON GENERAL'SRESIGNATION,

OBAMA'S REALBIRTH CERTIFICATE,

MOMS TO STOP TRIPPIN,AND FUCK KYLE.

YOU GOT THAT?

OR ELSE WE'RE GONNA BRINGTHE FEDERAL EXPRESS

TO A GRINDING HALT!

- DOES IT BOTHER YOUTHAT THE FEDERAL EXPRESS

IS NOT AFFILIATED AT ALLWITH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT?

- NO.NO, THAT DOESN'T MATTER.

- FUCK, REALLY?