WE'VE CALLED YOU INBECAUSE WE'VE HAD
A LITTLE INCIDENTAT THE SCHOOL.
THE FOURTH GRADE BOYSMEASURED THEIR PENISES
AND POSTED RESULTSIN THE SCHOOL HALLWAY.
- OH, DEAR.
- NOW, WE REALIZE THIS ISSUECAN HAVE A TROUBLING EFFECT
THAT CAN GET BLOWNOUT OF PROPORTION.
- DID THEY MEASURE FROMTHE BASE OR FROM THE BALLS?
- HOW DOES THE SCHOOLLET THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN?
- NOW, NOW, BOYS' FASCINATIONWITH THEIR GENITALIA
IS A NATURAL THING.
WE SIMPLY NEED TO FIND A WAYTO HELP THE STUDENTS
UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY'VE DONE.
- I'M A SCIENTIST.
I THINK IT'S BESTI HANDLE THIS.
- HELLO, STUDENTS.MY NAME IS DOCTOR MARSH,
AND I'M GONNA TALK TO YOUA LITTLE BIT
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENEDAT THE SCHOOL YESTERDAY.
HOW DO A MAN AND WOMANMAKE A BABY?
A MAN AND A WOMAN, WHAT DOTHEY DO TO MAKE A BABY?
HOW ABOUT THE LITTLE GIRLIN THE BROWN COAT.
YEAH, YOU.- THEY HAVE SEX?
THE MAN PUTS HIS PENIS, OKAY,
INTO THE WOMAN'S VA-GINA.
OKAY, NOW SOMETIMES,
A MAN CAN FEEL LIKEHOW LONG HIS PENIS IS
IS ACTUALLY IMPORTANT.
BUT IS IT?
WHEN YOU BOYS MEASUREDYOUR PENIS LENGTH,
THE TRUTH IS,IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.
WHAT DOES MATTER IS...
LENGTH TIMES DIAMETER
PLUS WEIGHT OVER GIRTH
DIVIDED BY ANGLEOF THE TIP SQUARED.
WHEN WE ARE TALKINGABOUT PENIS SIZE,
WE CAN'T JUST USEA TAPE MEASURE.
WE NEED A SCALEAND A PROTRACTOR AS WELL.
LET'S LOOK AT ITON THE GRAPH HERE.
FOLLOW ALONG WITH MEON YOUR STUDY SHEETS, KIDS.
My Name is Dr. Marsh
The parents find out about the incident at school and Randy volunteers to talk to the children.
Kyle is intimately involved in the development of a revolutionary new product called HumancentiPad.x CLOSE
Jimmy hosts the Special Ed Department's First Annual Comedy Awards.x CLOSE
The Prince of Canada is about to take a Princess and Ike is obsessed with the Royal Wedding.x CLOSE
Cartman throws a fit when the boys' penis sizes are posted on the school bulletin board, and is sent to anger management therapy.x CLOSE
Kyle gets in on the ground floor of Cartman's latest business venture, The Crack Baby Athletic Association.x CLOSE
Butters is diagnosed with multiple personality disorder.x CLOSE
Just after Stan's 10th birthday, his worldview starts to change and so do his friendships.x CLOSE
Cartman finds a unique way to cope with Asperger's Syndrome.x CLOSE
Cartman joins the U.S. Border Patrol.x CLOSE
The kids' most scandalous secrets are being leaked on an outrageous new gossip website.x CLOSE
Cartman confronts the boys about the school going too far.x CLOSE
The boys gather around to view the growth chart.x CLOSE
Cartman re-measures all the boys to get the numbers right.x CLOSE
The Principal confronts Cartman about his re-measuring campaign.x CLOSE
Cartman sits down with a Therapist to discuss his anger issues.x CLOSE
The parents find out about the incident at school and Randy volunteers to talk to the children.x CLOSE
Cartman visits an Anger Management Class to discuss his issues.x CLOSE
Randy teaches the class about the mathematics behind penis size.x CLOSE
The anger management class tries out some role-playing exercises.x CLOSE
Randy gets thrown into anger management class.x CLOSE