[film projector whirring]
- HELLO THERE, MY NOBLE,STRONG, FELLOW CANADIAN.
IF YOU ARE WATCHINGTHIS FILMSTRIP,
THEN NO DOUBT CANADAIS IN GRAVE DANGER.
AS YOU KNOW,THE VERY HEART OF CANADA
IS THE ROYAL FAMILY.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN ORDEREDTO OPEN YOUR BOX OF FAITH,
THEN ONE OR MORE OF THE ROYALFAMILY MUST BE IN PERIL.
OR ELSE YOU JUST OPENEDYOUR BOX OF FAITH
AND ARE WATCHING THISWITHOUT BEING TOLD TO,
IN WHICH CASEYOU ARE A DICK.
IF YOU HAVE INDEED BEENINSTRUCTED TO OPEN THE BOX,
THEN THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS.
ALL CANADIANSIN FIGHTING CONDITION
ARE ASKED TO MEET BYTHE TREE IN EDMONTON.
IN YOUR BOX OF FAITH,
YOU WILL FINDALL THE ITEMS YOU NEED--
A LOCATION BEACON,A FIRST AID KIT,
AND A SANDWICH.
YOU MAY EAT THE SANDWICH NOW.
GOOD LUCK, CANADIAN CITIZEN,AND GOD HELP.
ALL OF CANADAIS RELYING ON YOU.
You May Eat the Sandwich Now
In this time of ultimate Canadian peril, Ike opens his Box of Faith.
The Kindergartners practice for their play, but Tooth Decay skips out.x CLOSE
The Royal Canadian Wedding is underway.x CLOSE
Spectators and guests alike, watch in horror as the Royal Canadian Wedding breaks with tradition.x CLOSE
Mr. Mackey's play rehearsal continues to have problems.x CLOSE
Canadians continue to panic as news of the kidnapping spreads.x CLOSE
In this time of ultimate Canadian peril, Ike opens his Box of Faith.x CLOSE
Ike answers his call-to-arms, while Mr. Mackey grills Kyle.x CLOSE
Ike discovers a companion, while Mr. Mackey continues to have problems with his play.x CLOSE
The Canadians gather to take on Scott the Dick.x CLOSE
Mr. Mackey loses it, while Scott the Dick leads Ike to the Native Canadians.x CLOSE