THE UNVEILING OF THE FIRSTHUMANCENTiPAD.

AS PART OFA CLEAR P.R. STUNT,

APPLE HAS JOINED UPWITH BEST BUY AND DR. PHIL

TO DONATE THE FIRST CENTiPAD

TO A NEEDY BOYWHO WAS RAPED BY HIS MOTHER.

- IN ALL MY YEARS,I'VE NEVER HEARD

A MORE TRAGIC STORYTHAN THAT OF ERIC CARTMAN.

AND I WANT TO THANKTHE APPLE COMPANY

FOR HELPING US MAKE TODAYA VERY SPECIAL DAY FOR HIM.

[cheers and applause]

- AND AS PRESIDENTOF BEST BUY, ERIC,

I WANT TO ASSURE YOUTHAT A CHILD WILL NEVER

GET FUCKEDIN ONE OF OUR STORES AGAIN.

[cheers and applause]

- WHEN DR. PHILCONTACTED US AT APPLE

WITH ERIC'S STORY,

WE KNEW WE HADTO GET ONBOARD.

AND SO, ERIC, HERE ISYOUR VERY OWN...

HUMANCENTiPAD!

[cheers and applause]

- WHOA! COOL!

[iPhone beeps]OH, WOW, NO WAY!

IT DOES EMAILAND WEB BROWSING

AND IT SHITSIN KYLE'S MOUTH?

THIS IS THE GREATEST THINGTHAT HAS EVER BEEN INVENTED!

- YES, BUT CAN IT READ?

- DON'T WORRY.

IT TOOK A WHILE,BUT I'M PRETTY SURE

IT HAS FINALLY LEARNEDTO READ.

HASN'T IT?

- [muffled] YES.I PROMISE I'LL READ.

[cheers and applause]