- HELLO AND WELCOME TOPROGRESSIVE.
- YES, WE'RE LOOKING TOBUY CAR INSURANCE.
- WELL, YOU'VE COME TOTHE RIGHT PLACE.
[farts]AH HA HA HA HA!
- OH, DEAR!
- "I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVEGONE TO GEICO!"
- DADDY TIME.IT'S DADDY TV TIME.
- NOW JUST LOOK ATTHIS PORK TENDERLOIN.
IT IS BRINED AND READYFOR ACTION.
- OH, YEAH, LOOK AT THAT.
- DAD, YOU KNOW MOM DOESN'T WANTYOU WATCHING FOOD CHANNELS.
- I'VE WORKED ALL DAY.I CAN WATCH WHAT I WANT!
- WE'RE GONNA TAKEA STICK OF BUTTER
AND JUST SMEAR THAT ALL OVER.
- OH, MY GOD, THAT'S AWESOME.
- NOW LET'S GET THATON THE GRILL.
- SEE WHAT HE'S DOING, STAN?
HE BRINED THAT FOR AN HOURIN THE FRIDGE
SO NOW HE CAN SEARTHE SHIT OUT OF IT.
- LOOK AT THE CHARWE'RE GETTING.
TH--THAT IS WHATWE'RE GOING FOR.
- OH, ISN'T THAT HOT GUYS?
OH, YEAH!DON'T YOU WANNA JUST--
DON'T YOU JUST WANNAGET IN THERE AND...UNH-MMM!
- WE'LL BE RIGHT BACKTO GOOD EATS.
- HEY, LADIES, ARE YOU LOOKINGFOR A BETTER WORKOUT?
- AW, STUPID COMMERCIALS.
- INTRODUCINGTHE SHAKE WEIGHT,
A SPRING-LOADED WORKOUT DEVICEYOU PUMP WITH YOUR ARMS.
JUST GRAB THE PISTONAND GO TO WORK,
ONE-HANDED OR DOUBLE-FISTED.
- [yawns]COME ON!
- YOU JUST SHAKE ITBACK AND FORTH.
- IT FEELS REALLY GOODIN MY HANDS.
- BEST OF ALL,SHAKE WEIGHT TELLS YOU
WHEN YOUR WORKOUTIS FINISHED BY CHIMING
AND RELEASINGA COOLDOWN SPRAY.
[bell chimes, fluid gurgles]
- ORDER NOW
AND WE'LL INCLUDE THE OPTIONALHEART RATE MONITOR.
JUST PUT YOUR FINGERIN THE TESTER
AND SHAKE WEIGHT TAKESYOUR PULSE!
GET YOURS TODAY!
- NOW BACK TO GOOD EATS.
- JUST LOOK AT THE GLAZEWE GOT GOING NOW ON THAT THING.
- OH, MAN, YEAH!THAT IS HOT!
- ALL RIGHT, NOW HERE'STHE REALLY COOL PART!
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO IS--[TV beeps]
- CHANNEL BLOCKED?
WHAT THE--THE HELL?
Isn't That Hot?
Randy sneaks in a little more Food Network after work.
The latest in scientific testing reveals that some of the boys at South Park Elementary have a sex addiction problem.x CLOSE
The boys are given a controversial book to read in school and it inspires them to write one of their own.x CLOSE
Cartman's favorite restaurant has been shut down and replaced by a store that sells medicinal marijuana. Meanwhile, Randy is desperate to get a prescription card to treat his testicular cancer.x CLOSE
When Kyle begs Stan to "friend" him, Stan gets sucked into Facebook.x CLOSE
The town of South Park faces a class action lawsuit as every celebrity they've ever ridiculed is out for revenge.x CLOSE
Angry celebrities, violent ginger kids and Mecha Streisand are about to destroy South Park and all anyone wants to know is, "Who is Eric Cartman's father?"x CLOSE
Jimmy and Timmy are off to summer camp with all their handicapable friends.x CLOSE
Cartman dreams of being a NASCAR driver and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.x CLOSE
New Jersey is taking over the nation one state at a time. Randy and the boys take a stand as the Jerseyites approach South Park.x CLOSE
When Stan is sent to the school counselor because he's holding on to an obscene number of useless possessions, he realizes that Mr. Mackey has a hoarding disorder too.x CLOSE
Randy stays up late to watch the no-no channel.x CLOSE
Randy sneaks in a little more Food Network after work.x CLOSE
Sharon blocks out the food channels, so Randy turns to the Food Network Hotline.x CLOSE
Sharon tries out the latest exercise craze.x CLOSE
Randy quits his job to persue his new passion.x CLOSE
Randy tries his hand at his very own cooking show.x CLOSE
Sharon blows off some steam on the beach.x CLOSE
The boys come up with a plan to foil Randy's cooking dreams.x CLOSE
Sharon is woken up for a late night workout.x CLOSE
The school cafeteria is flooded with Food Network's stars.x CLOSE