AND LISTEN TO THE NEWESTINSTALLMENT OF THE COON!
IT ALL BEGANWHEN THE BP OIL COMPANY
DRILLED INTO THE OCEAN FLOOR
AND RIPPED OPEN A HOLETO ANOTHER DIMENSION.
SEEING THE DISASTERON COONVISION,
THE COON IMMEDIATELYCALLED TOGETHER
HIS TRUSTY COON FRIENDS.
AS THE COON EXPLAINED HOWTHE DISASTER COULD BE STOPPED,
SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED.
WITHOUT WARNING,THE COON FRIENDS CHANGED.
THEIR SUPERPOWERSMORPHED SOMEHOW,
TURNING THEM INTO...SUPERVILLAINS.
THE COON TRIED TOREASON WITH THEM,
TRIED TO BRING THEM BACK TOTHE SIDE OF GOOD,
BUT IT WAS TOO LATE.
THEIR BLACK HEARTS HAD BEENTAINTED BY HATE AND RAGE.
THE COON WAS ALONE.
TORN BY THE ULTIMATE DILEMMA,
HE HAD TO PUT A STOP TOTHE EVIL VILLAINS,
EVEN THOUGH THEY HADONCE BEEN HIS FRIENDS.
SOMETIMES,TO FIGHT THE ULTIMATE EVIL,
YOU MUST MAKE FRIENDSWITH ENEMIES.
THE COON TEAMED UPWITH CTHULHU,
BECAUSE EVEN CTHULHU KNOWSWHAT EVIL ASSHOLES
KYLE AND STANAND THOSE GUYS ARE.
AND THAT THEY ARE MANIPULATIVE,UNCARING, VAGINA FACES!
THEY ARE ALL PLANNING TODESTROY THE WORLD.
ONLY ONE THING CAN STOP THEM--THE COON.
WITH CTHULHU'S HELP,I CAN TRY TO BANISH THEM
TO A DARK OBLIVIONFOR ALL ETERNITY.
I WILL NOT RESTUNTIL THAT HAPPENS.
♪ BABY, I KNOWYOU'RE ASKIN' ME TO STAY ♪
♪ SAY PLEASE, PLEASE,PLEASE, DON'T GO AWAY ♪
♪ YOU SAY I'M GIVIN' YOUTHE BLUES ♪
♪ MAYBE YOU MEANEVERY WORD YOU SAY ♪
♪ CAN'T HELP BUT THINK OF--
- ERIC CARTMAN!- HI, MOM.
- WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN,YOUNG MAN?
- JUST DOING STUFF, MOM.
ARE MY FRIENDS DOWNSTAIRSIN THE SECRET BASE?
- YES, THEY ARE, BUT YOUWERE SUPPOSED TO BE
GROUNDED IN YOUR ROOM.
AND NOW YOU'REMORE GROUNDED, YOUNG MAN!
- THE COON'S MOTHER APPEARSTO BE EXTREMELY UPSET.
IN ORDER TO GET PAST HER,
I MUST USETHE LEBRON JAMES TECHNIQUE.
- ERIC, ARE YOU LISTENINGTO ME?
- MOM...WHAT SHOULD I DO?
- WHAT SHOULD I DO?
SHOULD I ADMITI MADE MISTAKES?
SHOULD I SAYI'VE DONE THIS BEFORE?
SHOULD WRITE A SONG
ABOUT HOW I SHOULD HAVESTAYED IN MY ROOM?
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
- WHAT DO YOU MEANWHAT SHOULD--
- SHOULD I SAY I'M NOTA ROLE MODEL?
SHOULD I NOT LISTEN TOMY CONSCIENCE?
IT'S MY CONSCIENCE, MOM!WHAT SHOULD I DO?
GO BACK TO MY ROOMAND PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED?
NOT JUMP OUT THE WINDOWAND FLY TO NEW ORLEANS?
WHAT SHOULD I DO, MOM?TELL ME!
- I JUST--I--
I'M GOING TO GO MAKE YOU KIDSSOME LEMONADE.
Friends With Enemies
Cartman gives us the latest installment of "The Coon."
The latest in scientific testing reveals that some of the boys at South Park Elementary have a sex addiction problem.x CLOSE
The boys are given a controversial book to read in school and it inspires them to write one of their own.x CLOSE
Cartman's favorite restaurant has been shut down and replaced by a store that sells medicinal marijuana. Meanwhile, Randy is desperate to get a prescription card to treat his testicular cancer.x CLOSE
When Kyle begs Stan to "friend" him, Stan gets sucked into Facebook.x CLOSE
The town of South Park faces a class action lawsuit as every celebrity they've ever ridiculed is out for revenge.x CLOSE
Angry celebrities, violent ginger kids and Mecha Streisand are about to destroy South Park and all anyone wants to know is, "Who is Eric Cartman's father?"x CLOSE
Jimmy and Timmy are off to summer camp with all their handicapable friends.x CLOSE
Cartman dreams of being a NASCAR driver and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.x CLOSE
New Jersey is taking over the nation one state at a time. Randy and the boys take a stand as the Jerseyites approach South Park.x CLOSE
When Stan is sent to the school counselor because he's holding on to an obscene number of useless possessions, he realizes that Mr. Mackey has a hoarding disorder too.x CLOSE
Mintberry Crunch catches us up with the ongoing disaster.x CLOSE
Mysterion tries to explain how much his super power sucks.x CLOSE
Cartman gives us the latest installment of "The Coon."x CLOSE
Cartman returns to Coon and Friends to ask what he should do.x CLOSE
Cartman and Cthulhu banish the Coon Friends to a dark oblivion.x CLOSE
The Dark Lord is agitated and the Coon calms him down.x CLOSE
The Coon Friends are trapped in another dimension and Mysterion tries to find a way out.x CLOSE
The Coon and Friends unleash their fury at Burning Man.x CLOSE
Mysterion pays a visit to the Goth Kids.x CLOSE
Mysterion learns how to stop the Dark Lord.x CLOSE